A part of me wanted to turn around and crush my lips to his.

A part of me wanted to drown him in the bay.

I was lost in sensation as my skin prickled to life and a muscle inside of me spasmed out and clenched. It was a war. Desire vs. Anger.

Anger was losing, but I wasn't ready to give up the fight so easily.

Or so I thought. I'd opened my mouth to argue, yet somehow my brain thought the words and my mouth delivered the message, but I wasn't fully aware of what I was saying.

Of the truth.

"You can't shake me because I love you, you fucking asshole," I said. Instant regret and fear slammed into me and I considered jumping into the bay to avoid seeing Bear's reaction.

His thighs tensed around me.

After what seemed like forever he finally spoke and my heart started to shatter all over again. "No, you can't love me."

"No?" I asked, feeling every bit of anger coming back with a vengeance, rage raced up toward my neck, my blood turning hot in my pulsing veins. "No? You really are an idiot then! You don't get to tell me that. And newsflash: I've loved you since I first saw you when I was just a kid and I will love you until I'm a hundred years old and even after they bury me in the ground." I turned in the seat and Bear shifted his leg to make room for my knees, which were dangerously close to his cock that I couldn't help but notice was already hard, pulsing as we argued. "You don't have the right to tell me not to, love doesn't work like that. The way I feel about you is the one thing in my life I still have that's completely mine, and believe it or not, even you can't take that from me." I grabbed the oars and tried to row back to shore but Bear locked his thighs around me so that I couldn't turn back around. He grabbed the oars from me and tossed them overboard, one at a time, launching them like little javelins across the water.

"What the fuck!"

"We aren't going anywhere," Bear said, looking down into my eyes. Where there was irritation before was now only confusion. Pain. That's when I realized it.

He'd told me that I couldn't love him, not because he didn't want my love.

But because he didn't think he was worthy.

FUCK THIS. I grabbed his face in my hands and forced him closer to me. "You came into my life when I had nothing left." I told him, putting everything I had out there for him to take in. I thought I'd feel weak telling him the truth but I didn't. If anything I felt stronger with each new confession, finding strength in the truth. "You've been everything to me." I leaned forward and planted a small soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, his lips parted and his gaze dropped to my lips as I pulled back. "You just have to remember how to be something to yourself."

"I can't," Bear said, so quietly I wasn't sure if he really spoke. "I can't," he repeated. His shoulders fell and his gaze dropped to the floor of the boat.

"Why? Tell me why?" I demanded, standing up off my seat. Bear was now eye level with my chest.

"I'm...lost," he admitted, and my heart sank.

"Then I will help you find your way," I said with new found determination, rubbing my thumbs over his temples. Bear leaned into my touch and closed his eyes, but it didn't last long. Suddenly he pulled away.

"It's not that easy. I'm a biker without a club. I feel like I'm nothing because I don't know who I am anymore." His brutal honesty should have had me skipping around in elation, finally cracking the hard shell that was Bear, but the happiness never came, because my heart was hurting for him.

Hurt quickly turned to anger.

"What do you want?" I asked. It came out a little harsher than I intended. He shook his head and remained silent. "Answer me, damn it!"

His eyes locked onto mine and I saw the second he fixed that shell back in place. "I want what every man wants, Ti. A bottle of Jack and my fucking dick sucked. You up for it, baby girl? Ready to wrap those beautiful lips of yours around my cock? Or should I bring that other chick back to get the job done? Or, maybe you want to join us? It's the least you can do to make up for the earlier interruption." Bear's eyes glinted with a hint of evil, but I saw right past his lies to the pain lurking beneath the surface, beneath the facade he was so good at clinging to when he didn't want to show his true feelings.

I slapped him across the face.

Hard.

His hands dug harshly into my hips and he jerked me toward him, the boat rocked violently. "Careful," he warned.

"You can try and distract me by making me angry, but you can't, it's not going to work. Not this time. So tell me Bear," I repeated my question. "What. Do. You. Want?" I was angry that the beautiful man in front of me couldn't see what I saw in him.

"What I want isn't important," Bear said. He moved his hands around to my lower back and tugged me in closer. "I can't have what I want."

"Why not?"

"Because what I want is not fucking possible!" he said. "Tell me, Ti. You gonna bring my dead friend back? 'Cause Preppy died right in front of my eyes and I couldn't save him! You gonna give me my club? I want things to be the way they were supposed to be before it all went to shit. You gonna take the nightmares away? The ones where I relive Eli and his men torturing me, shoving some broken bat up my ass and shoving their cocks in my mouth? Because I want all that and more than anything I want..." He looked away, but I wasn't about to let him stop there. I brought his gaze back to mine and held it there.

"What? What else do you want?" I asked, softly this time. When he didn't answer right away I was afraid I'd already lost him.

After an eternity he finally spoke and when he did his words knocked the wind from my chest. "You." He finally admitted, his voice stronger, more assertive than just seconds before. "I've been a ruined man for a long time. I can't ruin you too."

"You didn't ruin me," I said. "You saved me."

I didn't even realize the boat had started to tip over until it was too late. I lost my hold on Bear and crashed into the dark water.

Bear's strong arms lifted me out. "Grab onto the side," he said, tapping on the side of the boat. I couldn't reach the ground but Bear could because he held onto the boat and walked us toward the nearby shore. I was so wrapped up in Bear that I hadn't noticed how close we'd floated. King and Ray's house looked so small from across the bay. Lights flickered in the windows. It seemed a million miles away, not just a few hundred feet.

Suddenly I was airborne and in seconds I was flat on my back on a tiny muddy beach and Bear was on top of me. His lips crushing mine until I couldn't breath, his hand palming my breast, his cock hard and ready between my legs.

"Baby, I'm sorry," he said dropping his forehead to mine in a rare moment of vulnerability. His voice was rough and shaky. "Help me. Please. I don't know what I'm doing here."

"What are you trying to do?" I asked. He raised up, just enough to look me in the eye.

"I'm trying to love you."

We were two tortured souls. Both in more ways than one person should ever have to experience.

But we found each other.

We needed each other.

So help him I did.

I sat up enough to pull him back down to me, the broken shells in the mud dug into my back. The water of the bay lapped over my bare feet. Bear was a million different things, and he may have been pushing thirty, but we were alike in so many ways. He was just a boy who had no clue what he was doing and I was just a girl who had no idea what to do with all the feelings I had swarming around inside of me.

I just knew that I wanted him.

That I loved him.

"Promise me that no matter what, that you won't give up on me. Promise me, Ti," Bear said, his eyes welling up with water. I wiped the corner of his eye with my thumb and he leaned into my touch.

"I won't give up on you," I promised and I meant it.

I would never give up on him.

Neither of us knew what the future held for us, if anything at all. All we knew is that we had today. Right then, right there. We were just a normal boy and a normal girl trying to figure out how to love one another.

Today.

Tomorrow we would figure out the rest.

Today, Bear pulled my shorts and panties to the side, sank his hard cock deep inside of me and frantically fucked me until I couldn't think of anything but him, the orgasm that tore through my body, the tears that ran down my face, and the elation my heart felt over knowing that the stupid boy who made mistakes loved me.

And that was good enough.

For today.

Because tomorrow never came.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE.

Thia Bear pushed the boat back in the water and used a thick branch to row us back to the other side of the bay. "I really am sorry," Bear said again when we were halfway across.

"I really do love you," I said, and I meant it.

"You know that you are the only person in my life who has ever told me that?" Bear asked.

"What is going on?" I asked, noticing a commotion going on by the seawall, which Bear had his back to as we rowed.

"Fuck if I know. This is all new to me too," Bear said, oblivious to what I was referring to.

"No, turn around," I said and Bear looked behind me to where a woman wearing an all white pantsuit stood on the seawall. Her dark hair was pulled into a severe bun and her lipstick was so bright red that I could see it even in the dim lights of the dock. Next to her were three police officers with their guns raised and aimed at our boat.

Bear turned around and as soon as he saw what we were heading toward he tried to subtly turn the boat around but it was too late, we hit the current and it pushed us rapidly toward the seawall. "I'm sorry," the woman said, "I know this wasn't supposed to be until tomorrow but I couldn't hold them off. I tried to call your cell."

"Bear, what is she talking about?" I asked. "What's going on?"

"Fuck!" Bear cursed, dropping the useless branch into the water.

"Cynthia Anne Andrews?" one of the officers asked.

"Why are they calling my name?" I asked Bear who looked at the floor of the boat and then back up at me.

"Don't forget your promise, Ti. Don't give up on me," he said as the boat hit the seawall. One of the officers reached down to grab me and I shrieked.

"Don't fucking touch her!" he warned, standing up in the boat. The officer pulled back but held up his gun again. "Ti, you gotta go with them."

"What?" I asked. My heart pounding rapidly against my chest. Ray and King had come out of the house and were standing several feet behind the woman and the cops watching the scene unfold.

"Thia, I'm Bethany, your attorney, and he's right, you have to come with me."

"I thought it was just a meeting? I thought it was tomorrow?" I asked as the understanding of what was happening sunk in.

"I'm sorry," she said and I believed her. Bear bent down to lift me onto the seawall and I shrugged him off.

I was going to prison.

And Bear knew.

That's why he'd tried to push me away. He knew they were coming for me and wanted to sever whatever it is that we had before they did.

Before I was gone.

"No, don't touch me," I argued, but Bear didn't listen.

He grabbed me by the back of my legs. "Remember your promise," he whispered again, hoisting me up toward the awaiting officers. Bethany threw Bear his jeans and he stepped into them before climbing onto the seawall, the little boat kicked out from under him and without being tied down was quickly launched into the mangroves by the current.

I hung my head and held out my hands behind my back, waiting to be cuffed. Bethany came to stand by my side and gave my shoulder a small reassuring squeeze. It didn't work.

"You are under arrest for the murders of Wayne and Trinity Andrews anything you say..." One of the officers started and that's when I looked up and noticed that their attentions weren't on me. And neither were their guns.

They were on Bear.

"No!" I shouted, lunging forward but Bethany caught me by the shirt and tugged me back. They cuffed Bear and holstered their guns. They pushed him forward through the grass to one of the awaiting squad cars that were parked by the house, the rotating lights painting everything in splashes of blue and red.

"King!" I shouted, but he looked at me in a warning that said to keep my mouth shut. I broke free from Bethany's grip and ran forward. Bear hopped to the right, dodging the officers long enough to spin back around to me. I launched myself up at him wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist and I kissed him furiously until one of the officers pried me away, our lips the last of our connection to be severed.

"You don't have to do this. Please. Please don't do this," I begged him, still not fully understanding what exactly was going on. Tears streaming down my face as the officers placed me in front of King who wrapped his arms around my shoulders and whose stone like grip didn't allow for even an inch of movement toward Bear. Ray came to stand next to me, and Bethany next to her.

The officers forcefully pushed Bear forward, smashing the side of his face against the police cruiser where they patted him down. Before throwing him into the back of the car he looked back at me.

"I love you," he mouthed and with the echo of the slam of the door shutting Bear off from me, from my life, I swear I also heard the sound of my heart shattering.

CHAPTER THIRTY.

Bear I reined down punches on Corp's face until it was a mangled mess of skin and blood and my orange jumpsuit was splattered with red. Serves the motherfucker right for coming at me with a fucking shank.

As soon as I knew Corps was in county I knew he'd be coming for me. Too bad they sent a pussy to do a man's job.

Two weeks I'd been waiting and watching until he finally made his move, but I was ready.