King Arthur's Socks and Other Village Plays - Part 17
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Part 17

HE. (_taking her other hand--after a pause, helplessly_) Good-bye!

SHE. (_drowning in his eyes_) Good-bye!

_They cling to each other, and are presently lost in a pa.s.sionate embrace. He breaks loose and stamps away, then turns to her_.

HE. d.a.m.n it all, we _do_ love each other!

SHE. (_wiping her eyes_) What a pity that is the only taste we have in common!

HE. Do you suppose that is enough?

SHE. I wish it were!

HE. A month of happiness--

SHE. Yes!

HE. And then--wretchedness,

SHE. No--never!

HE. We mustn't do it.

SHE. I suppose not.

HE. Come, let us control ourselves.

SHE. Yes, let's (_They take hands again_.)

HE. (_with an effort_) I wish you happiness. I--I'll go to Europe for a year. Try to forget me.

SHE. I shall be married when you get back--perhaps.

HE. I hope it's somebody that's not bald and fat and forty.

Otherwise--!

SHE. And you--for goodness sake! marry a girl that's very young and very, very pretty. That will help.

HE. We mustn't prolong this. If we stay together another minute--

SHE. Then go!

HE. I can't go!

SHE. You must, darling! You must!

HE. Oh, if somebody would only come along!

_They are leaning toward each other, dizzy upon the brink of another kiss, when somebody does come--a short, mild-looking man in a derby hat. There is an odd gleam in his eyes_.

THE INTRUDER. (_startled_) Excuse me!

_They turn and stare at him, but their hands cling fast to each other_.

SHE. (_faintly_) The Agent!

THE AGENT. (_in despairing accents_) Too late! Too late!

THE YOUNG MAN. No! Just in time!

THE AGENT. Too late, I say! I will go.

_He turns away_.

THE YOUNG MAN. No! Stay!

THE AGENT. What's the use? It has already begun. What good can I do now?

THE YOUNG MAN. I'll show you what good you can do now. Come here!

(_The Agent approaches_.), Can you unloose my hands from those of this young woman?

THE YOUNG WOMAN. (_haughtily, releasing herself and walking away_) You needn't trouble! I can do it myself.

THE YOUNG MAN. Thank you. It was utterly beyond my power. (_To the Agent_)--Will you kindly take hold of me and move me over there?

(_The Agent propels him away from the girl_.) Thank you. At this distance I can perhaps say farewell in a seemly and innocuous manner.

THE AGENT. Young man, you will not say farewell to that young lady for ten days-and perhaps never!

THE YOUNG WOMAN. What!

THE AGENT. They have arranged it all.

THE YOUNG MAN. _Who_ have arranged _what_?

THE AGENT. Your aunt, Miss Brooke--and (_to the young woman_) your uncle, Mr. Egerton--

_The young people turn and stare at each other in amazement_.

THE YOUNG MAN. Egerton! Are you Helen Egerton?

HELEN. And are you George Brooke?

THE AGENT. Your aunt and uncle have just discovered each other up at the house, and they have arranged for you all to take dinner together tonight, and then go to a ten-day house-party at Mr. Egerton's place on Long Island. (_Grimly_) The reason of all this will be plain to you. They want you two to get married.

GEORGE. Then we're done for! We'll have to get married now whether we want to or not!

HELEN. What! Just to please _them_? I shan't do it!

GEORGE. (_gloomily_) You don't know my Aunt Maria.