Right now I was only operating on fumes, and my house was my safe haven, the place where I could go that nobody could get to me. Seeing him in my house, seeing what I could have had would gut me, and my safe haven wouldn't be so safe anymore.

He couldn't come to my house.

"I can't take you to my house," I said. "I can take you to your parents' house. Or to your house...with your wife."

He blinked.

"I don't want to go home, and my parents are out of town. You're all there is," he countered.

"Then we'll go to your parents' house," I informed him. "If they aren't there, then it won't matter."

The doctor came in and halted Booth's objection.

"You must be Masen," the doctor said. "Mr. Jones has asked for us to explain his discharge instructions to you so you can take care of him this evening."

I nodded, even though I didn't want to.

"He's also told us you're familiar with any medical issues that may arise due to his concussion," the doctor continued.

I nodded once again.

"Yes," I sighed, resigned.

The next ten minutes were filled with the doctor giving me a briefing on concussions, what I should look for, and when I should bring him back in if he exhibited those certain symptoms.

The entire time Booth's eyes stayed on me while I tried valiantly to only look at the doctor.

I felt his stare like a caress against my skin, and it was beautiful.

Warming.

Loving, even.

My stomach started to knot.

Married. Married. Married. I chanted to myself.

"Do you have any more questions?" The doctor, whose name I couldn't pronounce because it was so damn long, hesitated.

I shook my head. "No. Thank you."

He handed me the prescriptions that were for Booth to take to prevent an infection, and I tucked it into my back pocket.

Mia showed on my left, and Tai on my right.

"Can you give us a ride home, too?" She asked hopefully.

I looked at my best friend.

"How'd you get here?" I asked in confusion.

"I drove, but it just started pouring and my windshield wipers stopped working on the way over here," she explained.

I shrugged. "Sure."

Booth finally swung his legs over the side of the bed, not even wincing as he did.

He'd always been good at that, hiding his pain.

And he had to be in pain.

Even a high like he was on couldn't hide the pain that bruised ribs would cause.

I remembered the first summer we were together; we'd been exploring the woods outside his place. We'd been walking along a trail of some sort, which I'd later learned was called a deer trail, when we'd startled a wild boar. A mother boar.

She'd charged, and those wickedly sharp tusks had pierced Booth's calf as he'd pushed me out of the way.

I'd fallen to my hands and knees and turned to see Booth gored two more times before he was able to dispatch it with his hand gun.

The baby piglets had been running around us in a panic, and I'd been dazed and confused as he'd calmly gotten up, hauled me to my feet, and proceeded to walk back the half mile to his house.

There he'd promptly passed out from the pain, and I'd called an ambulance.

He'd had to have over two hundred stitches in his calf, and lower thigh.

But did he ever complain of pain? Hell no.

"You need help?" I asked as he stood.

He shook his head.

"Does he ever talk?" Tai muttered under his breath.

I blinked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"He never talks. I don't think I've gotten more than four words out of him since he started working with us," Tai expounded.

"Hmm," I said. "Maybe he just doesn't like y'all."

I heard Booth's quiet chuckle at my back, and I checked the urge to smile at him over my shoulder.

None of that now.

The ride home was awkward.

Booth took the front seat, making Tai and Mia take the back.

And I hated to say it, but I wished anyone would've taken the front over him.

But I couldn't very well say that, so I sucked it up and sat next to him, my every cell wanting to touch him.

Feel his rough palm against mine.

I drove to the house that Mia and Tai shared together, and put it into park.

"Call me in the morning, and I'll take you to your car," I told them as Tai got out.

Mia leaned between the two back seats and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"You're the best friend in the whole wide world, and I love you like crazy," she said softly.

She didn't say a word to Booth as she got out and slammed the door shut.

I watched them until both entered into the house, my heart happy for my best friend.

She deserved the world after what she'd been through.

"I thought Mia had a kid," Booth rumbled softly. "Mom said she did."

I put the Jeep in reverse and backed out, getting myself turned around before I replied.

"Mia's son, Colt, died a few months ago from a complication during a routine procedure to prepare for his stem cell transplant. He had leukemia," I explained softly, the pain still just as fresh now as it had been a few months ago.

I ached for my best friend, and I would never fully understand all that she'd gone through.

Was still going through.

The pain of losing a child didn't just go away no matter how much time had passed. The pain was always there, and it would always be there until the end of time.

And it broke my heart every single day to see my best friend, the person who'd nursed me through my own heartbreaking pain, hurting.

She didn't deserve that. Hell, nobody deserved that.

"That's not good," Booth rumbled grimly.

No, it wasn't.

The ride to Booth's parents' place was quiet.

Booth never needed to fill the air around us with endless chatter, and I was content in not saying anything at all. I didn't want to say anything I'd regret.

The ride to his parents' house started to bring back some good memories, and I was feeling almost nostalgic when I pulled into their driveway.

"Key's under the..." Booth started as we both got out.

"I know where the key is," I muttered darkly.

I got him inside within moments, and he sat down on the huge brown couch with a groan of pain.

I walked into the kitchen, knowing the way by heart, and went straight to the cabinet with cups.

Except they weren't there.

Now the plates were there.

Frowning, I started to look through the kitchen, finding the cups where the spices used to be.

Shit.

I couldn't do this.

Not today.

Getting a cup of water with crushed ice, since I knew that was what he liked, I filled it to the brim with water from the tap and hurried into the living room where Booth was still sitting slumped against the couch.

"Here 'ya go," I said, setting the drink down next to his left hand.

He opened those captivating eyes and pinned me to the spot.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

Looking down, I noticed that I still had my keys in my hand.

Clutching them a little more tightly, I shook my head.

"I can't stay," I said.

"Why not?" He questioned, genuinely confused. "Will you make me pancakes?"

I would not smile. I would not smile.

"No. Your mom probably doesn't have what I need to make them, anyway," I said softly. "Here's your meds," I said, pulling out the single pill that the doctor gave us to hold him over for tonight. "I'll drop these off tonight and have the pharmacy bring them over to you in the morning. And I'll pick you up when I pick Mia up so y'all aren't left without cars."

He frowned.

"Why'd you do it? Why'd you leave me?" He asked softly.

I didn't pretend to misunderstand his question.

My heart dropped into my belly.

"Your job scared me," I whispered to him. "I think that, subconsciously, I was scared, and not just for my sister. I knew she was going to die from the time I was old enough to understand that she was sick. My parents didn't hide anything from me."

He just looked at me, not comprehending.

That'd been my reason for not staying with him.