"That was why I left the Halloween party early," I explain. "Brian showed up. And it's also why I'm moving in with Gabe and Ty. That night, when I came home, my dorm room was full of deadly snakes. Animal control got all of the snakes out, but I'm scared to stay there now."

"Wow."

"Yeah," I say. "He is also the reason I've been avoiding you. I mean, he nearly killed me. And Gabe. And he also kidnapped a friend of mine. And he poisoned his sister's boyfriend. Well, technically, I guess he was trying to poison me, but Olivia's boyfriend grabbed my cup instead of his. And he killed Kasbian, though technically, Kasbian was stalking me too."

"That is really complicated," Micah says.

"I know. Sorry," I say. "My life was pretty complicated last year. And I am scared that if I allow you to be a part of my life, something bad will happen to you."

"I heard some of the stuff you said to Brian," he says. "I'll be honest, I don't think I've ever seen you open up like that-to anybody. You're kind of a closed off person."

"I guess if you piss me off enough, I'll tell you exactly what I'm thinking." I say it sarcastically, but it's kind of true. I really should open up to people more often. It's really sad that the one time I open up, it's to my freaking stalker.

"Have you told the cops?" he asks.

"Yes, I did. Last year, it took me a while to go to the cops," I say, then laugh. "Ironically, Brian Asher was the one who talked me into telling the police."

"Have you told your dad?"

"No," I say, then bite my lip. "If I told him, he would pull me out of school and force me to stay at home. That's the last thing I want. I need to be here, away from my family. If this is happening again, I need them to be safe. I also need for you to be safe."

"And what about Gabe and Ty?" Micah asks. "You're moving in with them."

I sigh. "It's complicated. Brian knows exactly what my relationship with them is. It's the same as it was last year, except now I'm not dating either of them. Even if I avoided them, they'd still be a target."

"He's seen me now. Besides, you're crazy if you think I will stay away from you after that," he says.

"Micah, I can't. You can't..."

"I can," he says. "And I am. I'm not going to back off. If anything, this is going to make me stick closer to you. I wasn't there last year, but I know whatever you went through was horrifying and scary. I am finally starting to understand why you are the way you are. You're so secretive. And you're a damn good liar. But I'm not going to let you hide from me anymore."

Micah's words excite and frighten me equally.

"You're a really nice guy," I tell him.

"Is there something wrong with being a nice guy?" he asks.

I shrug. "The last guy who was nice to me was Brian."

Not that Ty and Gabe aren't nice. They are. But, their flaws are very apparent. I knew what I was getting into when I dated both of them. Brian, however, was a great guy. Sweet, kind, gentle, but he obviously had a side of himself he kept hidden from me. So, I'm more than a little scared of getting too involved with Micah.

"What do I have to do to prove that I'm not like him?" Micah asks.

"I know that you're not like him," I say. "You just need to be patient with me. I'm not ready to give anybody my heart right now, and I might not be for a long time. All I can offer you is friendship."

"Friends who date?" he asks.

I nod.

"I can live with that."

"For now," I say. "But you'll eventually get tired of waiting."

Ty did. He says he's not tired of waiting, but I can see it in his eyes. He's ready to be with me, and I hate that I can't offer him my heart. But how am I supposed to, when Brian still holds such a big piece of it?

"Maybe," he says.

"As crazy as it sounds, I'm not completely over Brian," I admit.

"What was your relationship with him like?" Micah asks.

"It was good," I answer. "After coming out of a relationship with Ty, who cheated, and a relationship with Gabe, who lied, Brian was refreshing. He was a sweet guy, who was very caring. He has a big family, and I love all of them. I had plans with Brian. I was going to go to Stanford and we were going to get an apartment together. Brian wanted more from our relationship than I did. He wanted to marry me, but I was only seventeen. He was twenty. If he wasn't completely crazy, I'm not sure if we would've worked out, but Brian was the type of guy who would've been worth fighting for. I never in a million years would've thought that he was capable of the things he did. I still have problems believing it. The guy I knew and dated was a completely different guy than the one who stalked me. I don't know if I will ever get over that. I trusted him so completely."

"That is probably the most honest thing you've ever said to me," Micah says.

"Is it bad that I said that?" I ask, playing with the end of my hair. Being honest makes me feel exposed.

"No. It's a good thing," he says. "You should be honest about what you're feeling more often."

Maybe I will. I was honest with Ty about my feelings and it seems to have brought us closer. Maybe I should open up to Gabe about what I'm feeling. Maybe if I had been more honest with Gabe, we wouldn't have broken up.

No, I don't believe that. Gabe and I had an expiration date. Neither of us were honest with each other. If he and I were ever going to get back together, that is something we'd have to work on.

But Gabe and I aren't getting back together. Been there, done that. I'm so over him. I do like having him in my life as a friend. I've really missed having him around. Gabe was my first love. I will always have a piece of him in my heart.

Micah walks with me back to Ty and Gabe's dorm. He kisses me on the cheek and then leaves.

One thing is certain-Micah is nothing like Ty. Micah is sweet. Not that Ty isn't, but if Ty was going to kiss me, it definitely wouldn't be on the cheek. I wouldn't mind though, because as much as I try to resist Ty, I know I'm losing the battle.

Friday, November 5 8 p.m.

Let's get wasted.

I am sitting on my couch. In my apartment. For some reason it makes me feel very grown up, even if my dad is paying for it.

"This is awesome," Andrea says. She's currently stretched out over one side of the sectional. I'm sitting on the other side between Gabe and Ty.

Yeah, this isn't at all awkward.

"It is," I agree with her.

"You're so lucky. I'm still stuck in my dorm. I swear, my roommate has brought her boyfriend over every night this week. It sucks. I wish they'd have sex in his dorm room," she says.

"I don't understand how anybody could have sex if there was a chance somebody else would walk in and catch them," I say.

"Or wake up," she says. "Which I do wake up. Every single time."

I laugh.

Andrea throws a pillow at my head. "You can laugh. Your roommates don't actually share a room with you. You won't hear Gabe or Ty going at it with some girl at three in the morning."

"That would be awkward," I say.

"Yeah, it would," Gabe agrees. "I would rather not hear that. It's bad enough that I know you hooked up with Ty."

I roll my eyes. "Right, because I didn't pick you up from some random girl's dorm room two days after we broke up."

"At least you don't have to see her every day."

Ty sits forward. "Gabe, you slept with Kihanna the night we broke up. So you don't have any room to talk. At least I waited a few weeks."

Andrea clears her throat. "So, you guys realize it's Friday night, right? I say we go out. I haven't got drunk in way too long."

I stand up. "Yes, let's get wasted."

I need alcohol.

Okay, so I don't always make the best decisions when I'm drunk. But I'm older now. I can control myself now. Or, I think I can.

"She's a lightweight," Ty tells Andrea.

"I like being a lightweight. Because I hate the taste of alcohol. And all I want tonight is to forget..." Brian Asher... "everything."

"There is a party at the alpha... something sorority," Ty says. "A girl in my English class told me about it."

Of course she did.

Am I really going to be jealous of some random girl who flirted with Ty?

I turn away from Ty. "Let's go," I tell Andrea.

She gets up off the couch, and I hear movement behind me.

Ugh...

"We're going, too," Ty says.

"I don't need you two to babysit me," I say coldly, not even bothering to look at them.

"You're not getting rid of us that easily," he says.

"Come on, guys," Andrea says. "What if she wants to hook up with some hot guy at the party tonight?"

"I won't stop her," Ty says. "Depending on her level of intoxication."

"Meaning you will stop her," Andrea says. "Even though you don't have a right."

"I'm not going to hook up with anybody tonight," I say, hoping that Andrea and Ty aren't going to fight over this. Andrea has some pretty strong opinions. Her personality will clash with Ty's pretty quickly. She already hates Gabe. I don't want her hating Ty, too. That would be a nightmare. My best friend hating both of my roommates. Especially since she is going to be spending so much time here.

"This is about the principle," Andrea says to me.

"No, it's not," I say. "I'm glad that I have Ty to keep me from making a huge mistake. I don't want to get drunk and sleep with some random guy I won't even remember the next day. It's gross. If I wanted to do stuff like that, Ty wouldn't try to stop me. But I want him to."

"Fine," she says. "But what about Micah?"

"What about Micah?" I ask.

"You're going out with him tomorrow night. What are you going to do if you decide you want to sleep with him after the date?" she asks.

"I'm not going to sleep with Micah."

"You've known him long enough. And we all know how much chemistry there is between the two of you," she says. "Standing next to the two of you is like standing outside during a lightning storm. The electricity in the air-"

"We get the point," Ty says, cutting her off.

"Point is, what if you want to have sex with him after the date?" she asks, ignoring Ty.

"I'm not going to have sex with Micah tomorrow."

"What if you change your mind tomorrow?" she asks.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't bring Micah here to have sex with him," I answer.

"Why not? It is your apartment. You should be allowed to have sex with whomever you want to here."

"Look, Andrea, I get the point that you're trying to make," I say. "But the thing is, I want to live here with Ty and Gabe. I am not going to disrespect either one of them by bringing home some random guy. I think that they both will offer the same respect. Micah and I haven't even kissed. I'm not going to have sex with him on our first date. I'm not that kind of girl. If or when I have sex with him, we will be in a relationship. Right now, I don't want a relationship."

Ty smiles way too big at that.

"I meant that for you too," I say, looking at him. "We are not going to have sex."

"Okay," he says.

"Let's go to this party," Gabe says.

I look at Gabe. "Don't bring a random sorority girl back here tonight."

"I won't," he says. "Maybe I haven't made the best decisions lately, but I respect you enough not to do that to you."

"Thanks," I say.

But I'm not sure if I believe him completely. He's so completely different than the guy I started dating a year ago.

I miss the old Gabe.

11 p.m.

How do you know I'll regret it?