He slid his fingers over her c.l.i.t, caressing and touching until she went wetter, and then he gently began to push forward, stretching her opening to his entry. He removed his hand and braced himself on his forearms on either side of her shoulders, staring down at her as he continued his slow entry.

She winced when she felt a slight tearing sensation and despite her best effort to hold them back, tears burned her eyelids. Swanny's eyes glowed with tenderness and he reached up to thumb away the tear that had escaped and slid down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, honey," he said, regret reflected in his features. "Do you need me to stop?"

"No, it's okay," she said hastily, worried he'd call it all off. "I'll be okay. It's just a little uncomfortable. Please don't stop."

"I won't. I'm just going to go slow and give you time to adjust to having me inside you. The pain won't last long and then I'll make you feel nothing but pleasure. I swear it."

He moved forward just a bit and she flinched but held tightly to his shoulders. He stopped immediately and leaned down to kiss her.

"I'm going to stay right where I am for a bit. Let you adjust. You tell me when you're ready for me to go further, okay?"

She nodded and then focused on relaxing around him, savoring the sensation of having him inside her, albeit not deeply. Not yet. And she wanted that. Wanted him as deep as he could possibly be so they were one person. Connected in the most intimate way two people could be connected.

She shifted experimentally, testing the feel of him barely inside her. Some of the stinging pain had abated, leaving her with a restless, unfulfilled feeling.

Swanny groaned. "You're killing me, Eden. There's only so much restraint I can muster."

She smiled and slid her hands over his broad shoulders. "It's okay now. It doesn't hurt as much."

He propped himself up farther so he could see her face, gauging her reaction, and then he pressed forward, slowly and so very gently. She tensed, expecting more pain but other than the discomfort of stretching to accommodate him, the pain had diminished to a dull ache.

"Okay?" Swanny whispered.

G.o.d, but she loved how tender and caring he was being. She'd imagined her first time a lot over the years, but this far surpa.s.sed her wildest fantasies. It was beautiful. There was a poignancy that made her ache. Emotion swelled and knotted in her chest and throat. All she could muster was a rea.s.suring smile and a nod to let him know she was fine.

He withdrew just a little and then pushed forward, a little more forcefully than he had before. She gasped, not in pain, but in wonder as pain and discomfort turned to intense pleasure.

"Just a little farther, honey. One more time and I'll be there. Tell me if this hurts you."

It shocked her that he wasn't already all the way in. It certainly felt like she had a lot of him inside her. But then she'd seen his size, had been nervous that he'd even fit especially since it was her first time, but her v.a.g.i.n.a was slick with her desire and gripped him tightly, inviting him deeper.

Again he withdrew, not all the way. He was still inside her and then he pushed harder and she felt his groin meet hers. Her eyes widened in wonder at the sensations bombarding her. She felt completely full, stretched tightly around him like a closed fist.

His face was taut, his features strained. He briefly closed his eyes and his breaths were short and raspy. She realized just what his restraint was costing him, and it endeared him to her all the more that he'd taken such care to make it as painless as possible for her.

When he reopened his eyes, they glittered with the same desperate need she felt. Her hips moved, unconsciously tilting upward to take him deeper, if such a thing were possible.

"I'm okay, Swanny," she said softly. "You feel so good inside me. I want this to be good for you."

He caressed her cheek with one hand and then fused their mouths together as his hips rose and then he thrust back into her. His body covered her protectively and she wrapped her legs around his thighs, anchoring him to her, letting him know she was with him all the way.

She wrapped her arms more firmly around his shoulders, pulling him down even more to meet her mouth. Their tongues tangled and he mimicked the movements of his c.o.c.k, thrusting his tongue in the same manner.

His breaths came quick and hot, mingling with her own. She inhaled deeply through her nose, trying to catch up as her body tightened and began the upward climb to the ultimate release.

"How close are you?" Swanny rasped out. "I want you with me, honey. I'm not leaving you behind. You come first. Always. Tell me what you need to get there and I'll make it happen."

She was so caught up in the overwhelming bombardment of sensation and feeling that it took a moment for his question to register.

"Close," she gasped out. "It feels close. I'm not sure what's happening, but it feels like I'm about to burst into a million pieces."

He smiled tenderly down at her, pushing inward with his hips again, and then slid out in a long, slow pull that had her v.a.g.i.n.al walls clenching around him, resisting his withdrawal.

"That's what a good o.r.g.a.s.m does," he said. "Just let go, honey. Let it happen. I'll be with you every step of the way."

He bent his neck so he could reach her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and sucked one nipple into his mouth as he surged forward again, burying himself to the hilt.

"You like that," he murmured.

Since she'd gone even wetter around his erection, he was stating the obvious.

She was nearly to the point of desperation. She was on edge, the tension growing until it was unbearable. He began to thrust harder, forgoing his earlier tenderness. He was careful to maintain control and he didn't thrust so hard that it hurt her at all, but he set a more rapid pace, plunging, retreating, then thrusting forward again until she was panting and writhing beneath him like a wild thing.

Her eyes flew open as the world seemed to shatter around her. The tension snapped, releasing the most intense pleasure she'd ever experienced in her life. She curled her fingers into his shoulders, holding on to him. Her anchor in the violent storm of her o.r.g.a.s.m.

The room blurred around her. His features blurred but she focused on his eyes, drawing from the mirroring pleasure in his gaze. She bucked beneath him, arching, meeting his thrusts and using her legs to pull him into her over and over.

And then he let out a huge groan and his entire body tensed. He swelled within her, growing even more turgid, larger, and his thrusts became quicker, deeper.

To her utter amazement, as soon as she came down from the mind-blowing o.r.g.a.s.m, his frenzied thrusts pushed her over the edge again. This time it was a quick buildup, no long leisurely climb to the top. It was explosive, not as lingering as the first, and her body quaked as a second o.r.g.a.s.m flashed through her and he poured himself into her.

The heat of his s.e.m.e.n flooded her, making the aftermath of her o.r.g.a.s.m last even longer. He thrust with more ease as his seed eased his pa.s.sage so he could easily slide to the hilt.

He let out a long groan and then finally collapsed over her, his warmth invading her whole body. She wrapped her arms around his back and shoulders and she caressed softly, enjoying having his weight covering her. She felt safe, like nothing in the world could hurt her at this moment.

She trailed her hands as low down his spine as she could reach and then traveled upward again, stroking and letting him know without words how she felt.

Finally he lifted himself off her and she immediately regretted the loss of his weight and heat. He propped himself up on his forearms, still buried inside her, and gazed down at her with such tenderness that she swallowed back the knot forming in her throat.

"Are you okay? Was I too rough?" he asked in concern.

She smiled and reached up to caress his face, paying special attention to his scar. "It was wonderful, Swanny. I never imagined my first time would be this perfect. And maybe that's why I held back. Something inside me told me that none of the other men would give me what you've given me."

"It's you who have given me something more precious than anything I've ever received," he said, sincerity shining in his eyes. "You can't possibly know what it means to me that you trusted me to be your first. I wanted it to be special for you. For us both. In a lot of ways this feels like my first time as well. I've never made love to a woman without a condom, and I've d.a.m.n sure never felt this way about any woman I've been with."

"I'm glad," she said, huskiness lacing her voice. "And it was perfect, Swanny. You made it so special. I'll never forget my first time for sure. You were so gentle and patient. You were perfect."

Fire blazed in his eyes and he reached down to claim her mouth. He kissed her lingeringly, sweetly and so very reverently.

"I'm going to pull out now, honey," he said gently. "It may hurt you a little but I'll go as slow and as easy as possible. I need to clean us both up. I think I came a gallon."

She laughed and then braced her hands on his shoulders as he began withdrawing inch by precious inch. As he'd predicted, she winced when he finally pulled free, but at the same time she felt like she'd lost that connection with him that she so savored.

He rolled to the side and got off the bed. He leaned down to kiss her again. "I'll be right back. Don't move. I'm going to try not to mess up the sheets any more if possible so we aren't sleeping with a wet spot."

Then he disappeared into the bathroom and brought back a warm cloth and carefully cleaned her sensitive areas before wiping down his own groin and still semierect p.e.n.i.s.

He checked the sheets, lifting her hips to feel beneath her, and then frowned. "It's a little damp and I don't want you sleeping on a sticky mess, nor do I want to have housekeeping in at this time of night and put a damper on the mood, so I can put a towel down over the spot and we can sleep like that."

"A towel is fine," she said, smiling at him. "I honestly just want to go to bed and have you hold me."

"That sounds wonderful to me too, but first I'm going to draw you a nice hot bath and let you soak for a bit. You're going to be sore and I don't want it to interfere with your shoot tomorrow. So give me a bit to draw your water and then I'll let you soak in the tub for a while and then we'll go to bed."

"That sounds heavenly," Eden replied, touched by the depth of his caring and the fact that he saw to her every need.

A little while later he came back into the bedroom and lifted her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. It was a novel experience to have a man pick her up and carry her anywhere. She was tall and though she didn't weigh much, she was still tall enough that a normal man wouldn't have been able to carry her.

But Swanny was hardly "normal." Could never be considered average. He was muscled, absolutely fit and so very strong. He made her feel cherished in a way she'd never dreamed of being cherished. She sighed as he lowered her into the bathtub and then sat on the closed toilet, watching as she relaxed into the water.

"There was a little blood on the sheets too," Swanny said quietly. "And I cleaned some off you and me. I hate the idea of having hurt you. I would have done anything to spare you that pain."

"You didn't hurt me," she denied. "It was a little uncomfortable at first, but as big as you are I think I would have felt that slight discomfort even if I hadn't been a virgin. You did everything right. Perfect. You were so slow and patient and so very gentle. I couldn't have possibly asked for a better first time. I mean that truly."

"I'm glad," he said gruffly. "I'm still just blown away by it all. It will take me a long time to come to terms with the gift you gave me, that you trusted and wanted me. It's hard to take it all in."

She slid deeper into the water, letting it lap to her neck, and sighed in pleasure at the hot water she soaked in. He was right. She was tender in her v.a.g.i.n.al area, but the hot water was doing wonders to alleviate that discomfort.

"One day you'll see yourself the way I see you, Swanny. If it's the last thing I do, you'll see a loyal, fierce warrior, a survivor, not to mention a gentle man with a heart of gold and not an ounce of meanness in his body. At least not toward me. I know enough about your job to know you handle some sticky, hard situations, but with me? You're nothing like you present to the world. I see the real you, the man behind the scars, and I like what I see a lot."

"You have to stop," he said gruffly. "Because I'm an inch from hauling you back into the bedroom and making love to you all over again, and that's not what you need right now. You need time to heal and to feel better."

"But you can still take me to bed and hold me," she said wistfully. "I'm done soaking. What I really want are your arms around me and for me to sleep against your body."

"Now that I can do," he said as he moved forward to help her from the tub.

He took out one of the huge fluffy hotel towels and wrapped it around her body, wiping every inch of moisture from her skin until her flesh was pink and glowing. Then he dried the small amount of water that had gotten her hair wet and then guided her back into the bedroom, where he gestured for her to climb into bed.

As soon as she was settled, he slid in next to her and she immediately burrowed into his chest, seeking his warmth. She twined her legs with his and wrapped one arm around his waist, anchoring him to her.

He kissed her forehead and stroked away the strands of hair in her face.

"Good night, honey. Sleep well and dream of me."

CHAPTER 20.

SWANNY awoke slowly, gradually climbing from the deep sleep he'd fallen into once Eden had tucked herself into his body. He was usually a morning person and never wasted time lying in bed once he awakened. At home or even on a mission there was always too much to do just to lie around and be lazy, but this morning?

He was sated and utterly content with Eden sleeping nestled in the crook of his arm, her head pillowed on his shoulder. He could spend all day just lying with her, holding her. He knew she needed time to heal before they made love again, but he was just as content to enjoy the intimacy that cloaked them.

He listened to her soft breathing and ran his fingers lightly through her blond hair, just wanting to touch her in some way. He checked the bedside clock and nearly groaned. He'd have to get her up in just a few minutes so she'd have plenty of time to get ready for her shoot. And all he wanted was to continue holding her in his arms, allowing the memory of their lovemaking to flash in his mind over and over.

Never had he experienced such a strong connection to another woman. Or even another person. His team and KGI were his family now, but nothing compared to the way Eden made him feel. Like he mattered. That he wasn't just a man on a standard mission, in and out without any kind of emotional bond. He wasn't just a hired hand, he was a part of a team, but while he had a strong bond with his teammates, what was between him and Eden far surpa.s.sed what he felt for KGI-his family.

KGI-and his team-would always have his loyalty, and until now he would have said that nothing would ever be stronger than his commitment to his team. But Eden had changed all of that for him. He supposed this was what had happened to Rio and Steele, the leaders of the other two teams. They'd given KGI their absolute loyalty and the team came first, but after meeting their women, now their wives, he could understand why KGI now came second to their own families and to the women they loved.

It had happened to the Kelly brothers as well. Donovan had just met and married his wife and he was taking a more administrative role, as were Sam and Garrett since they had new babies. More and more the three brothers who'd founded KGI were giving more responsibility to the teams led by Rio, Steele, and then Nathan and Joe, the two men Swanny served under with Skylar and Edge.

And he did consider them family. They'd taken him in and offered him acceptance. He'd never forget that or take it for granted, just what all they'd done for him. They'd given him purpose again when he was at loose ends and had no direction after coming off that last tour that took him out of active duty.

But now he had Eden, and he wasn't at all sure where this would take them, but he knew without a doubt that she was a complete game changer for him. Already his priorities were shifting. He'd basically taken over her protection, although Nathan and Joe were technically in charge. But they seemed to realize that there was something between him and Eden, and they'd let him take the lead without argument-and thank G.o.d for that, because for the first time ever he would have openly defied their command when it came to Eden. He wanted this done his way. He wanted to be the one in charge of Eden's safety, and it wasn't that he didn't trust his team, but they didn't have the personal stake in this job that Swanny had. He wanted to be the one who shielded her, kept her safe. With him at all times. Such possessiveness was completely alien to him.

It wasn't that he was ever an a.s.shole to the women he'd been with, but neither had he felt an overwhelming sense of possessiveness. The urge to keep her with him at all times. Not to let her go.

It hit him with startling clarity that in his mind she was his. She belonged to him. Not that a woman was some thing or chattel to "own," but his reaction to her was staggering. He also realized that this shoot was only a few days, and that might be all the time he had with her.

Panic surged because he hadn't given thought to the longevity of their relationship, and it occurred to him now that he wanted more. He didn't want to be a fling, her first lover, and then have her move on to someone else.

Their careers would take them to opposite corners of the world and he had no idea how they could possibly work that out. But d.a.m.n it, there had to be a way. He didn't want to let her go.

If this was what being in love was all about, then he knew he'd already fallen hard for her. But the big question mark was how did she feel about him? He knew she cared for him. h.e.l.l, she'd gone out of her way to a.s.sure him that his scars and appearance didn't bother her. And she'd wanted him to be her first lover, so that had to mean something. But what?

All he knew was that he was already dreading the end of the shoot when she no longer needed KGI's services. Although the threat to her, according to her father, was still out there, so if that threat wasn't eliminated by the time the shoot was over, he might well want to keep them on.

He wanted any threat to her to be eliminated no matter how it was done. He wanted nothing to ever touch her or hurt her, but at the same time, as soon as the threat was eliminated she'd no longer need him or KGI, and he wasn't looking forward to the end of what they were sharing.

Eden stirred softly beside him, and he forwent his thoughts and turned to face her. She smiled sleepily up at him.

"Good morning," she said sweetly.

"Morning, honey. How do you feel this morning?"

Her cheeks pinkened as color rose up her neck and into her face.

"I'm fine, I think. I haven't really moved around much, but you took such good care of me last night I can't imagine that I'll suffer any discomfort today."

"As much as I'd love to stay in bed with you all morning, unfortunately we've got to get up and get moving if we're going to be on time for your shoot."

She grimaced, showing the same regret he felt.

"At least we have lunch together to go shopping," she said brightly.

Though it wasn't something he was looking forward to, being pushed into some posh, stuffy tux that he was not accustomed to wearing, the thought of getting to spend time-any time-with her quickly dissolved his misgivings over having to gussy himself up.

"It's a date," he said, kissing her lips. "Now why don't you hit the bathroom and do your thing. I'll use the other bathroom and take a quick shower and then we can hit the road. I'll call the others and make sure they're set and ready to go and have the cars ready and waiting in the back."

She sighed but pushed aside the bedcovers, baring her nude body to him. His d.i.c.k hardened to the point of pain, but he kept a sheet over it until she disappeared into the bathroom. He was going to have to take care of the matter of his erection in the shower because there was no way in h.e.l.l he could endure this kind of pain all d.a.m.n morning. And for the most part, other than the very few women he'd had s.e.x with, his hand had been the only regular release for his d.i.c.k. Just imagining Eden and remembering their lovemaking the night before would finish him off in a minute flat as soon as he hit the shower.

Twenty minutes later and feeling only slight relief in his aching b.a.l.l.s, he went in search of her to find her collecting up clothing and a host of other feminine stuff of whose uses he had no idea.