"Jeff, it's me-"

"You've reached Jeff Martini. I'm unavailable right now, but please leave a message and I or one of my team will get back to you as soon as possible." The phone beeped. "Mailbox is full," the automated female voice shared.

Stared at the phone. Hung up. Tried Chuckie. "Charles Reynolds, here." He sounded all business and no nonsense.

"Chuckie-"

"I'm unavailable. Leave a message." The phone beeped. "Mailbox is full," the same automated female voice shared. Well, we were all on the same A-C Carrier System, so that made sense. Only that so far, but one thing was better than none.

Called Reader, Tim, and Mom. Got the same thing-hit their voicemails and couldn't leave a message.

"Kitty," Abigail called, while I tried Buchanan, "no one's answering. I've tried Paul, Walter, Kevin, and Serene and all I get is voicemail with no way to leave a message. And I can't get a call through to my parents." Same response from Buchanan's phone-no answer and the mailbox was full.

"I can't reach Doreen, or Raj, or Pierre," Mahin said. "I tried William but I can't get the call to connect."

"My wife's phone is the same," Joe said darkly. "Voicemail and you can't leave a message. I tried my mother- and father-in-law, too, and Tito as well. Same thing." Rahmi looked stricken and Rhee looked confused. Felt their pain.

"Mine, too," Randy shared. "Wife and in-laws both. Along with the main Embassy phone. Same lack of anything. Nice to know they missed us."

Camilla waved her phone. She looked pissed. "Can't reach anyone who matters, same thing as everyone else."

"Like Mahin, I can't get through to Dulce," Jerry said. "Not hitting voicemail, for which I guess we should all be thrilled, but literally can't connect to their number. Any of the Dulce numbers. That goes for all A-C Bases worldwide. Cannot connect."

"Maybe we're still being dampened," Abigail said.

"Or we have limited range for some reason. Guys, see if you can fiddle with our communications. Maybe we're blocking ourselves in some way."

"I can't reach my dad," Lizzie said. "And I tried your dad, too, Kitty. And Denise and Nadine." She looked frightened. Well, that was a change from the adults who all looked as upset and angry as I felt. Abigail put her arm around Lizzie and hugged her.

Tried not to worry about the kids-mine and everyone else's. If we couldn't reach the Embassy, there could be a bad reason as to why. Tried Vance. Got nothing-couldn't connect to his line.

"Christopher's phone is the same-voicemail with no way to leave a message," White said. "The same with Amy's. I've tried all other Embassy personnel, including Magdalena." Since White and Nurse Carter were dating, this was the same for him as my calling Jeff. "I believe the phones are all turned off. The quickness of both the answer and the send to voicemail is indicative."

The others nodded. "Have tried all White House personnel we know that Chip, Jerry, Joe, Randy, and I have numbers for," Hughes said.

"That's a lot of numbers," Jerry added. "We're popular, or at least I thought we were. We know everyone."

"Ship's telecommunications system says that Richard's determination is correct," Walker shared. "It's not on our side. Phones appear to be turned off. Voicemail systems are either full or also turned off. There's a way to do it so that the system will give everyone a 'mailbox full' response even if the mailboxes are empty."

The Field teams were having the same luck as the rest of us. Keith, however, had a different issue. "My phone won't connect to anything or anyone."

"He's not on our system," Daniel added. "That might be why."

"The A-C's system is stronger than the normal carriers'. I just tried Vance, who I don't think is on our system yet, and couldn't connect. So, if I'm understanding our situation correctly, we can reach most of the very people we want to reach, but they've set things up so that we can't actually reach them."

"Or someone's hacked our system," Mahin said.

"Hackers! Everyone try to reach Hacker International!"

"Tried that already," Jerry said. "Same for them as all the others."

"I've reached Grandmother!" We all turned to stare at Adriana, who started talking quickly in what I assumed was Romanian. Her look of elation changed to one of worry. "I understand. Yes. I love you, too." She hung up. "Grandmother says that no one has hacked the phones. If the phones are off, they were turned off intentionally by the Office of the President, the Director of the CIA, or the Head of Field."

We all stared at each other. "Wow," I said finally. "I guess we know where we stand."

"Grandmother is as unable to reach anyone as we are. The American Centaurion Embassy is in full lockdown-Romanian Embassy personnel were not able to contact anyone, and were repelled away from the door, so were unable to knock or gain entry. Grandmother is concerned for us and suggests that we be prepared."

"For what?" White asked.

Adriana swallowed. "To fight."

"Commander, Adriana's not wrong. I've managed to stall while we wasted time trying to reach our loved ones who apparently don't miss us at all," Jerry said. "But you need to get involved or we need to fly far, far away as fast as we can."

Went to Jerry's station and put on the headset he gave me. "Hello, to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"

There was a pause. "Identify."

"This again? You first. Jerry, did we get a name from those we're speaking to at Andrews and the White House?"

"Negative, Commander, and I did ask. We're supposedly on a conference call with both locations, however."

"Super-duper. Jerry, make sure the others can hear this, just in case. To whoever's on the other end of this line, I have no idea what the password is when you've been kidnapped, then escape, save everyone else, and recapture the stolen invisible helicarrier, but whatever that password is, we're saying it."

"We need proof of who you are." Did not recognize the voice. This boded. "You are in a foreign craft above American soil. Identify or we will shoot you from the ground."

"You decloaked us?" I asked the flyboys.

"Unintentionally," Jerry said, voice tight. "It was closely connected to communications. If we'd been able to leave in a normal way, we would have been able to avoid decloaking."

"And we're just learning these systems," Walker reminded me.

"Fine, fine, these things happen. Look, whoever I'm talking to, I'm the First Lady. Kitty Katt-Martini. Also known as Cyclone to the Secret Service. Perhaps you've heard of me?"

There was a pause. "The First Lady is confirmed to be safe and not in an enemy helicarrier. Per the President of the United States."

"Excuse me? I'm in the airship you're threatening."

"Negative. The First Lady is on the White House Lawn, with the President. Both confirmed by top-level White House staff and on the news right now. So, your plan to fool us isn't working."

Randy waved me over. The headset was cordless so I went. Sure enough, he had a viewing screen up and it showed Jeff and "me" on the lawn, doing a photo op. Sure, it was Francine doing her Double Me Duty, and you could tell because she was far prettier than I was in real life. However, no one seemed to note this.

"According to the news, this is the President and First Lady announcing that the peace talks are back on and scheduled for three days from now," Randy shared. "They were out earlier, too, a few hours ago, apparently to just sort of wave at reporters and announce that things were just peachy in the White House, but it was televised."

"What the literal hell is going on?"

"You were kidnapped," Camilla said quietly. "That's what Richard told us. Something must have happened to force a press conference, so they trotted your double out. But they clearly haven't told anyone on the front lines that the actual First Lady is really missing."

Decided it was time to think hella fast. No one had come to rescue us, and we'd been at Forest Haven for hours. Meaning whatever scrambling had been put into effect had truly been exceptional. Drax's stuff had been good, after all, and we'd have never found him if not for Wruck. Chose not to ask where Wruck was right now.

Instead, focused on the here and now. It seemed clear that Jeff and everyone else either thought we were somewhere far, far away or were so hidden they couldn't find us. Or else they were glad we were gone. Yesterday I'd have scoffed at that option. Right now, however, it seemed very possible. Time to return to my call and see what I could salvage of this situation.

"Look, I realize that you think you're seeing the real FLOTUS, but I need you to tell the President, my husband, and the Director of the CIA, my best friend, that whatever intel they have is wrong. We're near some NSA black site, I think. We're literally less than an hour away from D.C."

"Are you threatening enemy action against our capital?"

"Good lord, is Keith's twin on the other end of this line or something?"

"I resent that!"

"Not now, Keith. Look, I'm Wolverine and I'm trying to reach Nick Fury. Does that help?"

"Not at all."

"I want to speak with the President, Jeff Martini, my husband, aka Cosmos."

"You are not the First Lady and therefore not authorized to do so."

"Really? Then give me the Director of the CIA, Charles Reynolds."

"You are not authorized to do so."

"How about Tom Curran, the Director of the FBI?" Didn't know Curran at all, but figured I'd have a better shot with him than whoever was holding down this fort.

"Again, you are not authorized. You are not authorized to speak to anyone other than me."

"Who are you?"

"You are not authorized to know my name, rank, or serial number."

"Of course not. Where is Rajnish Singh?"

"Nowhere you need to know about."

"I want to talk to Colonel Arthur Franklin and I want to do so right now."

"Identify. The President has protocols in place to determine if you are actually who you say you are. Meet those, or we will be forced to shoot you from the air."

Camilla took a headset from Walker. "This is Agent Ninety-Nine."

"Seriously?" Went over to where she was. Walker had type on his screens. Looked like he was trying to reach Hacker International via a method other than cellular. I approved.

Camilla shot me a look that said she'd heard all the jokes and had been sick of them before she'd heard them. She also tossed out some numbers and words and such so fast I couldn't catch them.

"Those protocols are old," whoever was on the other end said. "Agent is not confirmed."

Camilla looked shocked for what I suspected was the first time in her life. But she gave it the old college try. "Supersede protocols due to state of emergency. New protocols are sign countersign. Romeo."

"Negative. You are not authorized."

Camilla looked worried. "What did Jeff change while I was gone? And why?"

"I have no idea, but whoever we're talking to doesn't seem to think I've been kidnapped. Well, I was, most of us were. But we got better. Which is why we're trying to get to you there at Andrews."

"Identify or we will shoot you from the sky."

"Oh, my God." Had nothing else. Went with the things that worked best-the crazy and channeling my mother. "I am the wife of the President of the United States, and the daughter of the Head of the P.T.C.U. and you will put me on with one of those two people immediately or I will personally come down there, kick your ass into the Atlantic Ocean, and then ensure that you do the rest of your active duty in Siberia using our nice exchange program with Russia. Do I make myself clear?"

"You're clear, but we still need identification."

"How's this? I am the former Head Ambassador of American Centaurion. I have the Former Supreme Pontifex with me, along with the current Cultural Attaches. And if you do not immediately put us on with the President of the United States I will ensure that I ask my friends from other worlds to blow your facility to high holy hell, with specific attention paid to you and your entire family line."

"That might not be the right tactic," Hughes said quietly.

"Warheads are arming," Walker said.

Looked over at White. "A little help?"

He shrugged. "There are many ways to prove it's you. But I suggest you take your earphones out."

Stared at him for a moment, then realized that I probably wasn't the only one Algar assisted every now and then.

"Gotcha. Whoever's on the line, I'd like you to listen to this very, very carefully."

Turned my phone's volume up to eleven, hoped that this was going to work, and hit play. And "Back in the Saddle" came on, with Screamin' Steven Tyler doing some of his very best screaming.

CHAPTER 74.

"WARHEADS HAVE DISARMED," Walker said, sounding relieved.

"President has left the photo op, though the 'First Lady' is still there," Randy said.

Let the song continue to play because I was really annoyed. Could hear someone shouting over the music. Decided they could shout a little longer.

"That sounds like Jeff," Jerry said.

"I don't care who it is," I shouted into the headset. "I am seriously pissed with every, single person in charge of whatever the hell you all think you're in charge of! And that includes my husband, best friend, and mother. Especially my husband!"

The shouting on the other end stopped. Good. Turned the volume down, though I let the song play on.

"Now, I'm going to try this one more time. Then, quite frankly, if I get the same responses I've been getting, I actually will declare myself, this helicarrier, and all those on it as our own sovereign nation, and we will go invisible, disappear, and become America's worst nightmare."