Chapter 2 — Coming of age, a ceremony needed for emanc.i.p.ation .  Part 16

When everything was finally over, nine days had already pa.s.sed .

Those nine days had been really hectic, which meant that I hadn’t made any progress at all in reading the last third of L’Etranger . I was still stalled after the first witness’ testimony in the main character’s trial .

My step-father was in the living room, painfully sleeping amidst a thicket of beer cans . I wasn’t at all bothered by his appearance though . That was just the way he was and probably how his sorrows were manifesting .

I left him there and headed to school without saying a word .

In only the span of nine days, fall had greatly intensified, and I felt as if the first signs of winter could already be seen in the distance .

The sky was clear, but the sunlight was weak and the wind was cold . I wished I had one more layer on top of my winter uniform .

The black sailor uniform had the appearance of a mourning dress .

But I didn’t have any intention of mourning .

Even though it had been a while since I last went to school, it was still the same boring and overly formal place .

Budworm wasn’t present however, but everyone else was .

I ignored the apprehensive stares as well as the noisy Tsukasa, and instead spoke to the perfectstudent with the arm in a cast .

“Who was it that broke your arm?” I asked straight away without even greeting him .

His face contorted into a mix of shock and fear as he replied:

“I-I just…fell down . ”

“I see, then that’s fine . ” I grinned in an insinuating manner and continued .

“Gas tank . ”

His whole face convulsed at once .

“Would you like to have it back?”

“W-w-what do you m-mean?” His teeth started chattering loudly and his eyes evaded mine when I looked to his .

“You left it on the ground near my house . On the night you made the fire . ”

“You left it on the ground near my house . On the night you made the fire . ”

“I don’t know anything about that! I didn’t have anything to do with it, I swear!” he screamed in horror, his body going weak as the guard around his soul fell to pieces .

And that was all the proof I needed .

If he had been the accomplice, I knew for sure who the leader was .

Since that was all the information I required, I didn’t have anything else to say .

“It wasn’t my fault! It was all her!” he shouted, standing up, then all strength left his body and he fell limply upon his desk .

A little while later, he started sobbing .

I shrugged it off and went to my desk .

There, Tsukasa looked at me with a vague, worried—which was really uncommon for her—smile, and said:

“Sacchan, I think you went too far . ”

“That was just”—I glanced at him for an instant—”reaping what he sowed . ”

“That was just”—I glanced at him for an instant—”reaping what he sowed . ”

“Not everyone, including him, can behave and stay strong in any situation like you . You’re at least aware of that, right?”

It almost sounded like she was lecturing me .

I looked away to the window and what was outside . The weather looked cold, the wind sporadically blowing over the sports ground . I brushed my hair back and replied:

“If you have nothing important to say, please leave me alone . ”

“Do you hold your hair like that out of habit?” Instead, she started talking about something completely unrelated .

“I believe I just told you to leave me alone if you don’t have anything important to say . ”

“And I want to talk with you—I think that’s something very important . ”

“…It’s probably a habit . ”

“I think it fits you a lot . It gives off this cold aura…” Her smile was bright now, she seemed to be enjoying this for some reason .

“I really wanted to have long hair too but it gets too curly so I gave up on growing it . ”

She put her hands on both sides of her head and started grasping at her hair .

“I really wanted to have long hair too but it gets too curly so I gave up on growing it . ”

She put her hands on both sides of her head and started grasping at her hair .

“I see . ”

“It’s hereditary though, so there’s nothing I can do about it . My mom also has really curly hair, and when the rainy season comes, both our hair curls up even more and we look like scientists having gone through a failed experiment . If you come visit, I could show you the pictures of that . ”

Then she splayed out her hands away from her head, gesturing as if it were exploding, and burst out laughing .

“My hair”— I started stroking my own hair, that black hair I had grown for so long—”–is also hereditary, it looks the same as my mother’s . ”

My mother who went into the flames, yelling the name of my dead sister and–––

“So you liked your mom . ”

“No,” I said . “I hated her . ”

“That can’t be true,” she countered immediately .

“Even if I didn’t hate her, there’s no point talking about it now . She’s already dead . ”

I stroked my hair one more time . It felt silky, just like my mother’s felt when I touched it so long ago .