'I hope they serve bread and water,' said Alan, who was not invited.

Those on the guest list included Seth and Corinna, and Bonny and Valent. Martin wanted to tap Valent for cash and get him to lend Badger's Court for fundraising extravaganzas. Having no loyalty, Martin had also invited Harvey-Holden and Jude the Obese. With the all-weather gallops and indoor school Jude had paid for, H-H was able to carry on training and was very busy buying horses for his demanding new owner, Lester Bolton.

Corinna, still on tour in The Deep Blue Sea The Deep Blue Sea, couldn't make it. Valent, who couldn't stand Martin and Romy, and who, as the fourth anniversary of Pauline's death in the Cotchester rail crash approached, was hardly in party mode, wanted to refuse, which resulted in a frightful row with Bonny, who accused him of selfishness.

'You come all the way back from China for the widow Bancroft's party. You want me to love living in the sticks, and deny me the opportunity to engage with people. I so enjoy Martin and Romy, who are inviting some congenial locals you might put me first for once.'

So Valent agreed. He could check on his c.o.c.kpit office and on Marius and it would be nice to see Etta again.

Also staying with Martin and Romy was Blanche Osborne, Sampson's chief mistress, who had caused Etta such unhappiness. She had just come reluctantly out of mourning, designer black had so suited her pale blonde hair and creamy complexion. She had left her husband Basil behind and, as Corinna was still away on tour, would make up the eight.

Martin decided it would be easier if Etta wasn't present, even if she were only waitressing and clearing away. It would be difficult for Blanche to be herself. And after the court case over Mrs Wilkinson, he was sure Harvey-Holden would be happier if Etta wasn't around, so he had employed Trixie, which he knew would please Seth.

Not prepared to risk Etta's cooking after her chilli con carne fiasco, Romy had bought dinner in from William's Kitchen. But they needed Etta's help in bulling the place up, laying the table and getting Poppy and Drummond supper and into their pyjamas.

'Mummy and Daddy's job is to make money for poor people,' explained Poppy. 'Your job, Granny, is to tidy up.'

Etta had great difficulty preventing Drummond eating all the toffee roulade layered with white chocolate mousse.

'They'll need an ox to feed Jude the Obese,' said Trixie, who was studying the seating plan drawn up by Romy, in order to put the place names on Etta's lovely gold-leaf dinner plates.

'Listen to these ghastly CVs. "Seth Bainton: a most talented and fascinating actor. Bonny Richards: who could have expected someone so gifted and beautiful could be so nice? Ditto Blanche Osborne, very close friend of Sampson Bancroft." Yuckarama, sorry, Granny. "Judy Tobias, charismatic director of Tobias Inc., married to our most successful trainer." That is seriously repulsive.'

Trixie poured herself a large vodka and tonic.

'Romy's put Seth on her right, greedy b.i.t.c.h, and poor sweet Valent on her left and Jude on his left she'll need the whole side of a table then Martin next to Blanche with toxic Bonny on his left, and even more toxic Harvey-Holden next to her and Blanche next to Harvey-Holden. What a cosy little eightsome.'

Trixie shoved her cigarette in the bin and downed her vodka as Romy swanned in wearing a red dressing gown, hot and scented from the shower, hair in rollers.

'How many times do I have to tell you to put the dishwasher on eco setting?' she snapped. 'Absolutely maddening, Corinna's decided to come after all. So you'll have to re-lay the table, Mother. I'm not a stickler for even numbers but she might have let us know before. We'll have to shift everyone around and put her between Harvey-Holden and Jude. If you roll up that late, you can't expect a chap on either side. Better add "our greatest Shakespearean actress" to her place card, or she'll act up. I don't know how Seth puts up with her.

'After you've readjusted the placement and got the kids into their pyjamas and banked up the fire, Mother, you might as well push off. Must go and get ready, Blanche will be here in a mo.'

Trixie and Etta looked at each other. Trixie poured herself another vodka.

No doubt Blanche, with her 50,000 annuity from Sampson, will have bought something sensational to wow Seth and Valent, thought Etta.

Trixie read her grandmother's mind. 'I'll put a.r.s.enic in her pudding.'

'What are you going to wear?' asked Etta.

'A f.u.c.k-off dress,' said Trixie. 'That table looks gorgeous, so do the flowers.'

Blanche, having been told by Romy that there were some fascinating men coming and wanting everyone to understand exactly why Sampson had adored her and preferred her to Etta, looked stunning. She wore crimson taffeta with transparent trumpet sleeves and a nipped-in waist to glorify a total lack of spare tyre. Sampson's huge rubies glowed at her neck. Below her collarbone was also pinned a ruby brooch in the shape of a geranium.

Bonny, even slenderer, looked deceptively demure in a little bleak dress in ivy-green silk, high-necked, but slit to her groin to ensnare Valent, Seth, Martin and the devilish Harvey-Holden, who, like her, was accused of shacking up for money.

Romy, in a fuchsia shift worn off one polished brown shoulder to show that she had no need of a bra, was looking as voluptuous as Bonny looked fragile. She was determined to charm a ma.s.sive donation out of Valent and captivate Seth, who was troubling her dreams.

Sampson's portrait looked arrogantly down from the twenty-foot high white wall as if to say, 'I could have the lot of them.'

It was a bitterly cold night but a huge log fire crackled and flickered, bringing colour to everyone's cheeks. Trixie hadn't arrived so Martin was forced to open bottles. Jude seemed to have grown even larger like a children's story: the hippo who came to tea.

Urged by her parents, Poppy sat down at the piano and played a Beethoven minuet, irritating the h.e.l.l out of Blanche and Bonny, who had to shut up. A lot of wrong notes resulted because Poppy couldn't take her eyes off Jude.

'Are you having twelve babies like that lady in America?' she asked the moment she'd finished.

'Time for bed, young lady,' said Martin firmly.

'Good night, darling.' Romy kissed Poppy tenderly.

Drummond then rode his new bike round the room over the corns of Harvey-Holden, who for a second looked sufficiently convulsed with hatred to throttle him.

A diversion was created by Valent's arrival. He had been to see Marius and learnt from Painswick how nearly Mrs Wilkinson had come to being sold. Bonny had been economical with the truth and not told him she'd come down to Willowwood or that Seth had been present.

My Bonny lies over the ocean, My Bonny lies ...

Valent loathed dinner parties, everyone talking about house prices and schools and asking him for free financial advice.

He also felt a prat. Insisting the dress code for tonight was casual, Bonny had persuaded him, before he left for the yard, to put on a poncy pink flower-patterned shirt, which Bonny had bought for his birthday and which he'd always resisted wearing. And there were Seth, Martin and H-H all in smoking jackets.

As he arrived, Romy was saying playfully to Seth, 'You must talk to Bonny now, because you're not sitting next to her at dinner.'

'How's Clod?' murmured Seth.

'You must not call him that,' murmured back Bonny.

'There's an interesting development, tell you later,' said Seth.

Next moment the men's hands fluttered to smooth their hair as Trixie sauntered in, deliberately provocative in a flower-patterned satin blazer, worn with nothing underneath and the briefest pink satin shorts.

'You're late,' fumed Romy. 'You're supposed to be waitressing, and that's not an appropriate outfit.'

'For G.o.d's sake, push around the fizz,' exploded Martin, handing her a bottle.

'I'll open it,' said Valent, taking the bottle from Trixie.

'You look cool,' said Trixie, kissing him. 'If we stand side by side, people'll think we're a herbaceous border.'

'Blanche,' called out Romy, 'this is our neighbour Valent Edwards.'

Blanche left her tiny hand in Valent's huge paw longer than necessary.

'We've met before,' said Valent without warmth.

'I'm sure you'd rather have a beer,' interrupted Trixie, handing Valent a can of Carlsberg, so he turned away from Blanche to talk to her. 'Where's your nan, I mean grandmother?'

'Romy didn't want her here,' hissed Trixie. 'That enamelled stick insect was Grandpa's mistress. She's bound to make a pa.s.s at you.'

'Nice pictures,' said Valent, glancing round the room.

'They're Granny's, they shoved her into that bungalow so they could cop the lot. Mum's done the same.'

'How's Mrs Wilkinson?'

Trixie's face darkened. 'Did you know that Seth, Dad, Bonny and all those creeps voted to sell her?'

'I had heard,' said Valent grimly.

'Trixie,' thundered Martin, 'you're supposed to be waitressing.' He looked at his watch. 'Where the h.e.l.l's Corinna?'

'She'll be along in a minute,' said Seth.

He and Corinna had in fact had a frightful row. Both due to go into Antony and Cleopatra Antony and Cleopatra at Stratford in February, they had been offered a short provincial tour of their great hit as Elyot and Amanda in at Stratford in February, they had been offered a short provincial tour of their great hit as Elyot and Amanda in Private Lives Private Lives.

Corinna had refused; she was shattered from her last tour as Hester in The Deep Blue Sea The Deep Blue Sea.

'I'd look like Amanda's grandmother. You do it, it'll keep you busy.'

'They want you,' Seth had said evenly. That was the irking thing. 'They'll only do it if you do it, you're the crowd-puller.'

Corinna had mentally left Hester and was morphing into Cleopatra, the great man-eater. She knew Seth and Bonny were up to something. Her aim for tonight was to seduce Valent. Then she wouldn't have to spend her life on tour and supporting Seth.

85.

Corinna arrived half cut in very low-cut black velvet and was irritated when Romy insisted they went straight in. She was even crosser when she discovered she had been seated between that little weasel Harvey-Holden and his mountain of a wife, round whom she couldn't see a millimetre of Valent who was seated on Jude's right.

The oppressive heat from the fire had given Seth an excuse to take off his smoking jacket and reveal the lean excellence of his body. Romy and Blanche on his left and right were drooling over him. Martin was between Blanche and Bonny, who had H-H on her left.

As they tucked into crayfish and salmon ravioli, Trixie, as she poured the Sauvignon into everyone's gla.s.ses, announced in a stage whisper that Granny had done the cooking. Blanche and Bonny looked as though they were being poisoned.

Martin and Blanche clinked gla.s.ses.

'It's good to see you.'

'And you.'

'Etta was so jealous,' said Blanche, hardly lowering her voice. 'Sampy loved my blanquette de veau, but Etta would never cook veal for him. He also loved foie gras.'

'I know, I know.'

'So strange to see his portrait looking down, I feel he has come home.'

b.l.o.o.d.y old cow, thought Trixie as she handed round the pheasant ca.s.serole, but she was distracted to feel Seth's warm hand caressing her thigh as she served him.

'Why are you ignoring me?'

'Because you wanted to sell Mrs Wilkinson,' hissed Trixie.

'I'm starving,' Jude told Valent, as she opened up another roll. 'We didn't get tea at the races.'

'Can you pa.s.s the booter?' Valent asked Harvey-Holden.

'b.u.t.ter, Valent,' corrected Bonny. 'I'm making Valent persevere with my voice coach,' she told the table.

'So you said last time,' snapped Corinna. 'Is that why he sounds so much more patrician than you?'

'Thunks.' Leaning forward, Valent raised his gla.s.s to her.

'He is rather Neanderthal,' murmured Blanche, turning to Seth. 'What does Bonny see in him?'

'Success,' said Seth.

Bonny was spitting, but decided not to react to Corinna's patrician crack. She turned back to Harvey-Holden, who'd had two wins at Chepstow that afternoon and was boasting about his all-weather gallop which had cost over a million.

'What a pity Mrs Wilkinson can't come back to you,' murmured Bonny. 'Why did you let her go in the first place?'

Harvey-Holden's hand was wrapped round a solid cut-gla.s.s tumbler. Next moment it had shattered, spilling water all over the table.

Everyone stopped talking. Harvey-Holden, whose face had gone absolutely dead, had cut himself. Jude jumped to her feet. 'Are you all right?'

'Fine,' he snarled, wrapping a napkin round his hand. 'For Christ's sake, sit down.'

Romy flapped around, crying that it didn't matter one bit that the gla.s.s was one of a family set, and mopping up the water and broken gla.s.s. Jude insisted on waddling off to the kitchen to find some plasters. Corinna turned to Valent.

'At least I can see you now.' She drained her gla.s.s.

'How's your tour gone?' asked Valent.

'Standing O's in every city, but I hate living out of suitcases. Only good thing about staying in hotels, you end up with a lot of free bathcaps.'

'If you cut your hair short, you wouldn't need to wear a shower cap,' cried Blanche reprovingly. 'It would suit you, long hair's so ageing. Why don't you try Shumi in Britten Street?'

When Corinna didn't answer, Blanche smiled across at Valent. 'Have you remembered when we met?'

'With Sampson Bancroft at Downing Street.'

'Oh, you knew Sampy. Wasn't he charismatic?'

'I knew Sampy,' said Corinna, Cleopatra-majestic, helping herself to more red. 'He came backstage and asked me out to dinner. I would have gone but I'd only known Seth a few months, we were playing the Marquise de Merteuil and Valmont and were still in the white heat stage, so I'm afraid poor Sampy got the brush-off. He was furious, I don't think it had ever happened to him before. After that he was never off the telephone, pestering. He came to all my first nights.'

Trixie was laughing openly.