EPILOGUE.

Joshua had thought that the cancer ward at Mount Sinai hospital was the most wretched place he'd ever been, until he stood in the hallway of the AIDS unit at Kings County Hospital. The lighting was dim, the inst.i.tutional-green walls hadn't been painted in years, and linoleum floor panels were chipped and lifting from their base. The smell of death permeated the air, and moans of torment echoed from the rooms.

He walked into her room. It was barely large enough for four patients, but it held six. No one noticed his presence. The patients seemed lost. Coughing. Groaning. Gasping. He looked at their faces, and moved slowly until he recognized the one he'd come to see.

He stood by the foot of her bed for a few minutes, watching her sleep. She looked different. Sickly, emaciated, but he would have known her anywhere.

She opened her eyes as if she knew someone was there, and for a moment she thought she was dreaming. "Joshua?" she said.

He smiled.

"Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me."

She smiled broadly, a tear fell from her eye. He moved closer to wipe it, feeling the weathered flesh of her cheek. "I'm here, Celeste."

"I knew you'd come. Sooner or later, I knew it."

"So did I."

She coughed, took some water and drank. "Jerome told you where I was?"

"Yeah."

"Good old Jerome."

"He tries. He loves you."

She thought about his words. "He says he's going to take care of me from now on."

"You going to let him?"

"Suppose I should. I'm tired of the streets. Need to get healthy. The doctor says I could live a long time if I cleaned up and took my medicine. Says I wouldn't be in the hospital so much."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

She coughed again. "d.a.m.n pneumonia. Third time this year."

He was wordless.

"You know," she said, "my mama's in a nursing home, feeble minded. Sad thing."

"Yes, Jerome told me."

"Your mama's okay?"

"Like the day I was born."

She stared off in silence. "Let me touch you," she said as she took his hand. "Feels good to touch you."

"For me too."

"You been okay?"

"Up and down."

"Yeah, I heard. Jerome told me about that lady friend of yours. Sorry thing, real sorry."

"Sure is."

She saw the glimmer in his eye. "You loved her?"

"Very much."

"Just like you, Joshua, going off, loving the wrong people."

"That's true enough."

"Guess you can't help who you love."

"Never could."

"Neither could I." She squeezed his hand.

"Strong grasp for a sick lady."

"Not as sick as you think; I'll be out of here in no time!"

He smiled again. She was always able to make him smile.

"Jerome also tells me you're a big lawyer now."

"A lawyer, yes. Big?" He looked himself over. "Not really."

She laughed, and coughed some more.

He watched her.

"So you here to save me again?" she asked.

"You need saving?"

"Probably."

"Then I'm your man."

"Good. Cause when I get out of here, I'd like to have you around."

"You'll have to get an army to keep me away."

They laughed together.

"There's something I need to tell you," she said, sounding serious.

"Yeah?"

"It's something bad. Real bad."

He looked at her curiously.

Her tone turned to a faint whisper. "If you're my lawyer, I can tell you anything, right?"

"You could tell me anything even if I wasn't your lawyer."

"I know, but this is real bad."

"Doesn't matter how bad it is."

She pulled him closer. "You hear 'bout Big Bob?"

"I read about it in the papers. He was killed."

"He sure was."

"You know something about that?"

She looked him in the eye. "I was the one."

"The what?"

"I was the one who killed him."

Joshua swallowed hard. "Why?"

"He found me and beat me bad. Sent me back into the streets, his streets, demanding all kinds of money. Made a habit of beating me when I came up short. One night, he met me in an alley. I was real sick then, and he still wants his money and all. I didn't have anything. He came at me like he was going to kill me, only he didn't know I had a knife. I Finished it there and then."

Joshua stared at her.

She waited for a response, tears fell from her eyes.

"It's okay," he said. He wiped her tears again.

"It's not okay," she replied, "but it is over."

"Yes, that it is. Over and done. So leave it be; you've got more important things to worry about. You have to get healthy."

"Yes, I do, and I will."

"I know."

They talked a little more, and he promised to return the next day. She would be out of the hospital in another week, and would be staying with Jerome. Joshua a.s.sured her he would come by often, spend as much time as possible with her, as much time as she had.

"That could be a while," she said. "I plan on sticking around for a long time."

"I plan on it too," he said as he kissed her good-by. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

He came out of the hospital to a bright, crispy afternoon. He breathed deeply; the air was as fresh as it ever got in Brooklyn. He started toward the street, when he saw Jerome Williams walking in his direction. Jerome spotted him.

"So you came to see her," Jerome said.

"You knew I would."

"Yes, I did."

"Thanks for telling me where she was," Joshua said.

"She asked for you."

Joshua smiled at his old friend. "She seems like she's going to be okay."

"The doc says she has some time if she lives right."

"She's in good hands with you."

"I'll do what I can."

"I'd like to come around," Joshua said.

"Hope you do."

The two men looked at one another, each feeling the things that would forever remain unspoken between them. "I'm sorry about Rachel Weissman," Jerome said.

Joshua appreciated that Jerome knew her name. "Thanks," he said.

"Well, don't want to keep Celeste waiting," Jerome said.

"Right."

"See you around."

"You will."

They shook hands, and started to part when Joshua said, "Jerome."