CHAPTER X

_His preparing to visit Friends in_ England--_His embarking at_ Chester, _in Company with_ SAMUEL EMLEN, _in a Ship bound to_ London--_His deep Exercise, in observing the Difficulties and Hardships the common Sailors are exposed to_--_Considerations on the Dangers to which Youth are exposed, in being trained to a sea-faring Life; and its Inconsistency with a pious Education_--_His Thoughts in a Storm at Sea: With many instructive Contemplations on the Voyage_--_And his Arrival at_ London

Having been some Time under a religious Concern to prepare for crossing the Seas, in order to visit Friends in the northern Parts of _England_, and more particularly _Yorkshire_; after weighty Consideration, I thought it expedient to inform Friends, at our Monthly-meeting at _Burlington_, of it; who, having Unity with me therein, gave me a Certificate; and I afterward communicated the same to our Quarterly-meeting, and they likewise certified their Concurrence therewith. Some Time after which, at the general Spring-meeting of Ministers and Elders, I thought it my Duty to acquaint them of the religious Exercise which attended my Mind; with which they likewise signified their Unity by a Certificate, dated the twenty-fourth Day of the third Month, 1772, directed to Friends in _Great-Britain_.

In the fourth Month following, I thought the Time was come for me to make some Enquiry for a suitable Conveyance; being apprehensive that, as my Concern was princ.i.p.ally toward the northern Parts of _England_, it would be most proper to go in a Vessel bound to _Liverpool_ or _Whitehaven_: And, while I was at _Philadelphia_, deliberating on this Occasion, I was informed, that my beloved Friend, SAMUEL EMLEN, jun., intending to go to _London_, and having taken a Pa.s.sage for himself in the Cabbin of a Ship, called _Mary and Elizabeth_, of which JAMES SPARKS was Master, and JOHN HEAD, of the City of _Philadelphia_, one of the Owners; and I feeling a Draught in my Mind toward the Steerage of the same Ship, went first and opened to SAMUEL the Feeling I had concerning it.

My beloved Friend appeared glad that I had Thoughts of going in the Vessel with him, though my Prospect was toward the Steerage; and he, offering to go with me, we went on board, first in the Cabbin, a commodious Room, and then into the Steerage; where we sat down on a Chest, the Sailors being busy about us: Then the Owner of the Ship came, and sat down with us.

Here my Mind was turned toward Christ, the heavenly Counsellor; and I feeling, at this Time, my own Will subjected, my Heart was contrite before him.

A Motion was made, by the Owner, to go and sit in the Cabbin, as a Place more retired; but I felt easy to leave the Ship, and made no Agreement as to a Pa.s.sage in her; but told the Owner, if I took a Pa.s.sage in the Ship, I believed it would be in the Steerage; but did not say much as to my Exercise in that Case.

I went to my Lodgings, and soon after went to Bed, and my Mind was under a deep Exercise before the Lord; whose helping Hand was manifested to me as I slept that Night, and his Love strengthened my Heart. In the Morning I went with two Friends on board the Vessel again; and, after a short Time spent therein, I went, with SAMUEL EMLEN, to the House of the Owner; to whom, in the Hearing of SAMUEL only, I opened my Exercise, in relation to a Scruple with regard to a Pa.s.sage in the Cabbin.

After this I agreed for a Pa.s.sage in the Steerage; and, hearing in Town that JOSEPH WHITE had a Desire to see me, I felt the Reviving of a Desire to see him, and went then to his House, and next Day Home; where I tarried two Nights; and then, early in the Morning, I parted with my Family, under a Sense of the humbling Hand of G.o.d upon me; and going to _Philadelphia_, had Opportunity with several of my beloved Friends; who appeared to be concerned for me, on Account of the unpleasant Situation of that Part of the Vessel where I was likely to lodge.

Having stayed two Nights in _Philadelphia_, I went the next Day to _Derby_ Monthly-meeting; where, through the Strength of divine Love, my Heart was enlarged toward the Youth then present; under which I was helped to labour in some Tenderness of Spirit. Then, lodging at WILLIAM HORNE'S, I, with one Friend, went to _Chester_; where, meeting with SAMUEL EMLEN, we went on board, the first Day of the fifth Month, 1772; and, as I sat down alone, on a Seat on the Deck, I felt a satisfactory Evidence that my Proceedings were not in my own Will, but under the Power of the Cross of Christ.

Seventh Day of the fifth Month. We have had rough Weather mostly since I came on board; and the Pa.s.sengers, JAMES REYNOLDS, JOHN TILL-ADAMS, SARAH LOGAN and her hired Maid, and JOHN BISPHAM, were all sea-sick, more or less, at Times; from which Sickness, through the tender Mercies of my heavenly Father, I have been preserved; my Afflictions now being of another Kind.

There appeared an Openness in the Minds of the Master of the Ship and of the Cabbin-Pa.s.sengers toward me: We were often together on the Deck, and sometimes in the Cabbin.

My Mind, through the merciful Help of the Lord, hath been preserved in a good Degree, watchful and inward; and I have, this Day, great Cause to be thankful, in that I remain to feel Quietness of Mind.

As my lodging in the Steerage, now near a Week, hath afforded me sundry Opportunities of seeing, hearing, and feeling, with respect to the Life and Spirit of many poor Sailors, an inward Exercise of Soul hath attended me, in regard to placing our Children and Youth where they may be likely to be exampled and instructed in the pure Fear of the Lord; and I, being much amongst the Seamen, have, from a Motion of Love, sundry Times taken Opportunities, with one of them at a Time alone, and in a free Conversation laboured to turn their Minds toward the Fear of the Lord: And this Day we had a Meeting in the Cabbin, where my Heart was contrite under a Feeling of divine Love.

Now, concerning Lads being trained up as Seamen; I believe a Communication from one Part of the World to some other Parts of it, by Sea, is, at Times, consistent with the Will of our heavenly Father; and to educate some Youth in the Practice of sailing, I believe, may be right: But how lamentable is the present Corruption of the World! how impure are the Channels through which Trade hath a Conveyance! how great is that Danger, to which poor Lads are now exposed, when placed on shipboard to learn the Art of sailing!

O! that all may take Heed and beware of Covetousness! O that all may learn of Christ, who was meek and low of Heart! Then, in faithfully following him, he will teach us to be content with Food and Raiment, without respect to the Customs or Honours of this World.

Men, thus redeemed, will feel a tender Concern for their Fellow-creatures, and a Desire that those in the lowest Stations may be a.s.sisted and encouraged; and, where Owners of Ships attain to the perfect Law of Liberty, and are Doers of the Word, these will be blessed in their Deeds.

Rising to work in the Night is not commonly pleasant in any case; but, in dark rainy Nights, it is very disagreeable, even though each Man were furnished with all Conveniences: But, if Men must go out at Midnight, to help manage the Ship in the Rain, and, having small Room to sleep and lay their Garments in, are often beset to furnish themselves for the Watch, their Garments or something relating to their Business being wanting and not easily found, when, from the Urgency occasioned by high Winds, they are hastened and called up suddenly, here is a Trial of Patience on the poor Sailors and the poor Lads their Companions.

If, after they have been on Deck several Hours in the Night, and come down into the Steerage soaking wet, and are so close stowed that proper Convenience for change of Garment is not easily come at, but for Want of proper Room, their wet Garments are thrown in Heaps, and sometimes, through much crouding, are trodden under Foot in going to their Lodgings and getting out of them, and they have great Difficulties, at Times, each one to find his own, here are Trials on the poor Sailors.

Now, as I have been with them in my Lodge, my Heart hath often yearned for them, and tender Desires have been raised in me, that all Owners and Masters of Vessels may dwell in the Love of G.o.d, and therein act uprightly; and, by seeking less for Gain, and looking carefully to their Ways, may earnestly labour to remove all Cause of Provocation from the poor Seamen, either to fret or use Excess of Strong-drink; for, indeed, the poor Creatures, at Times, in the Wet and Cold, seem to apply to Strong-drink to supply the Want of other Convenience.

Great Reformation in the World is wanting; and the Necessity of it, amongst these who do Business on great Waters, hath, at this Time, been abundantly opened before me.

The eighth Day of the fifth Month. This Morning the Clouds gathered, the Wind blew strong from South-eastward, and before Noon increased to that Degree that Sailing appeared dangerous. The Seamen then bound up some of their Sails, and took down some; and, the Storm increasing, they put the Dead-lights, so called, into the Cabbin-Windows, and lighted a Lamp as at Night.

The Wind now blew vehemently, and the Sea wrought to that Degree, that an awful Seriousness prevailed in the Cabbin, in which I spent, I believe, about seventeen Hours; for I believed the poor wet toiling Seamen had Need of all the Room in the crouded Steerage, and the Cabbin-Pa.s.sengers had given me frequent Invitations.

They ceased now from Sailing, and put the Vessel in the Posture called, lying-to.

My Mind, in this Tempest, through the gracious a.s.sistance of the Lord, was preserved in a good Degree of Resignation; and I felt, at Times, a few Words in his Love to my Ship-mates, in regard to the All-sufficiency of him who formed the great Deep, and whose Care is so extensive, that a Sparrow falls not without his Notice; and thus, in a tender Frame of Mind, spake to them of the Necessity of our yielding, in true Obedience, to the Instructions of our heavenly Father, who sometimes, through Adversities, intendeth our Refinement.

About eleven at Night I went out on the Deck, when the Sea wrought exceedingly, and the high-foaming Waves, all round about, had in some Sort the Appearance of Fire, but did not give much, if any, Light.

The Sailor, then at the Helm, said he lately saw a Corposant at the Head of the Mast.

About this Time I observed the Master of the Ship ordered the Carpenter to keep on the Deck; and, though he said little, I apprehended his Care was, that the Carpenter, with his axe, might be in Readiness, in case of any Extremity.

Soon after this, the Vehemency of the Wind abated; and, before Morning, they again put the Ship under Sail.

The tenth Day of the Month, and first of the Week, it being fine Weather, we had a Meeting in the Cabbin, at which most of the Seamen were present: This Meeting to me was a strengthening Time.

The thirteenth Day of the Month. As I continue to lodge in the Steerage, I feel an Openness this Morning, to express something farther of the State of my Mind, in Respect to poor Lads bound Apprentice to learn the Art of Sailing. As I believe Sailing is of some Use in the World, a Labour of Soul attends me, that the pure Counsel of Truth may be humbly waited for in this Case, by all concerned in the Business of the Seas.

A pious Father, whose Mind is exercised for the everlasting Welfare of his Child, may not, with a peaceable Mind, place him out to an Employment amongst a People, whose common Course of Life is manifestly corrupt and prophane; so great is the present Defect amongst Seafaring Men, in regard to Piety and Virtue: And, through an abundant Traffic, and many Ships of War, so many People are employed on the Sea, that this Subject of placing Lads to the Employment appears very weighty.

Prophane Examples are very corrupting, and very forcible. And as my Mind, Day after Day, and Night after Night, hath been affected with a sympathizing Tenderness toward poor Children, put to the Employment of Sailors, I have sometimes had weighty Conversation with the Sailors in the Steerage, who were mostly respectful to me, and more and more so the longer I was with them: They mostly appeared to take kindly what I said to them; but their Minds have appeared to be so deeply impressed with that almost universal Depravity amongst Sailors, that the poor Creatures, in their Answers to me on this Subject, have revived in my Remembrance that of the degenerate _Jews_ a little before the Captivity, as repeated by JEREMIAH the Prophet, "There is no Hope."

Now, under this Exercise, a Sense of the Desire of outward Gain prevailing amongst us hath felt grievous, and a strong Call to the professed Followers of Christ hath been raised in me, that all may take Heed, lest, through loving this present World, they be found in a continued Neglect of Duty, with respect to a faithful Labour for a Reformation.

Silence, as to every Motion proceeding from the Love of Money, and an humble Waiting upon G.o.d to know his Will concerning us, has now appeared necessary: He alone is able to strengthen us to dig deep, to remove all which lies between us and the safe Foundation, and so direct us in our outward Employments, that pure universal Love may shine forth in our Proceedings.

Desires arising from the Spirit of Truth are pure Desires; and when a Mind, divinely opened toward a young Generation, is made sensible of corrupting Examples, powerfully working, and extensively spreading amongst them, how moving is the Prospect!

The sixteenth Day of the Month. Wind for several Days past often high, what the Sailors call squally, rough Sea and frequent Rains. This last Night a very trying Night to the poor Seamen: The Water, chief Part of the Night, running over the main Deck, and sometimes Breaking-waves came on the Quarter-deck. The latter Part of the Night, as I lay in Bed, my Mind was humbled under the Power of divine Love; and Resignedness to the great Creator of the Earth and Seas, renewedly wrought in me; whose fatherly Care over his Children felt precious to my Soul: And Desires were now renewed in me, to embrace every Opportunity of being inwardly acquainted with the Hardships and Difficulties of my Fellow-creatures, and to labour in his Love for the spreading of pure universal Righteousness on the Earth. The Opportunities were frequent of hearing Conversation amongst the Sailors, in respect to the Voyages to _Africa_, and the Manner of bringing the deeply-oppressed Slaves into our Islands.

The Thoughts of their Condition, frequently in Chains and Fetters on board the Vessels, with Hearts loaded with Grief, under the Apprehensions of miserable Slavery; my Mind was frequently opened to meditate on these Things.

On the seventeenth Day of the Month, and first of the Week, we had a Meeting in the Cabbin; to which the Seamen generally came. My Spirit was contrite before the Lord; whose Love, at this Time, affected my Heart.

This Afternoon I felt a tender Sympathy of Soul with my poor Wife and Family left behind; in which State, my Heart was enlarged in Desires that they may walk in that humble Obedience wherein the everlasting Father may be their Guide and Support, through all the Difficulties in this World; and a Sense of that gracious a.s.sistance, through which my Mind hath been strengthened to take up the Cross and leave them, to travel in the Love of Truth, hath begotten Thankfulness in my Heart to our great Helper.

On the twenty-fourth Day of the Month, and first of the Week, a clear pleasant Morning: And, as I sat on Deck, I felt a Reviving in my Nature; which, through much rainy Weather and high Winds, being shut up in a close unhealthy Air, was weakened.

Several Nights of late I felt Breathing difficult; so that a little after the rising of the second Watch (which is about Midnight) I got up, and stood, I believe, near an Hour, with my Face near the Hatchway, to get the fresh Air at the small Vacancy under the Hatch-door; which is commonly shut down, partly to keep out Rain, and sometimes to keep the Breaking-waves from dashing into the Steerage.

I may, with Thankfulness to the Father of Mercies, acknowledge, that, in my present weak State, my Mind hath been supported to bear the Affliction with Patience; and have looked at the present Dispensation as a Kindness from the great Father of Mankind, who, in this my floating Pilgrimage, is in some Degree bringing me to feel that, which many thousands of my Fellow-creatures often suffer in a greater Degree.

My Appet.i.te failing, the Trial hath been the heavier; and I have felt tender Breathings in my Soul after G.o.d, the Fountain of Comfort, whose inward Help hath supplied, at Times, the Want of outward Convenience: And strong Desires have attended me, that his Family, who are acquainted with the Movings of his holy Spirit, may be so redeemed from the Love of Money, and from that Spirit in which Men seek Honour one of another, that in all Business, by Sea or Land, we may constantly keep in View the coming of his Kingdom on Earth, as it is in Heaven; and, by faithfully following this safe Guide, shew forth Examples, tending to lead out of that under which the Creation groans!

This Day we had a Meeting in the Cabbin; in which I was favoured in some Degree to experience the fulfilling of that Saying of the Prophet, "The Lord hath been a Strength to the Poor, a Strength to the Needy in their Distress;" for which, my Heart is bowed in Thankfulness before him!

The twenty-eighth Day of the Month.--Wet Weather of late, small Winds inclining to Calms: Our Seamen have cast a Lead, I suppose about one hundred Fathoms, but find no Bottom: Foggy Weather this Morning.

Through the Kindness of the great Preserver of Men my Mind remains quiet; and a Degree of Exercise, from Day to Day, attends me, that the pure peaceable Government of Christ may spread and prevail amongst Mankind.

The leading on of a young Generation in that pure Way in which the Wisdom of this World hath no Place; where Parents and Tutors, humbly waiting for the heavenly Counsellor, may example them in the Truth, as it is in Jesus;--this, for several Days, hath been the Exercise of my Mind. O! how safe, how quiet, is that State, where the Soul stands in pure Obedience to the Voice of Christ, and a watchful Care is maintained not to follow the Voice of the Stranger!

Here Christ is felt to be our Shepherd, and, under his Leading, People are brought to a Stability; and, where he doth not lead forward, we are bound, in the Bonds of pure Love, to stand still and wait upon him. In the Love of Money, and in the Wisdom of this World, Business is proposed; then the Urgency of Affairs pushes forward; nor can the Mind in this State, discern the good and perfect Will of G.o.d concerning us.

The Love of G.o.d is manifested in graciously calling us to come out of that which stands in Confusion: But, if we bow not in the Name of Jesus; if we give not up those Prospects of Gain, which, in the Wisdom of this World, are open before us, but say, in our Hearts, I must needs go on, and, in going on, I hope to keep as near to the Purity of Truth as the Business before me will admit of; here the Mind remains entangled, and the Shining of the Light of Life into the Soul is obstructed.

In an entire Subjection of our Wills the Lord graciously opens a Way for his People, where all their Wants are bounded by his Wisdom; and here we experience the Substance of what _Moses_ the Prophet figured out in the Water of Separation, as a Purification from Sin.