Jake: More like Brian Boita-NO. No, no, no! Never do that again. ;-) Nina: You were actually pretty good for your first time.

Jake: Yeah...Big Goons on Ice. Don't order me a leotard. Pretty sure it was my first and last time.

Nina: d.a.m.n it! I was gonna teach you the Bunny hop jump and half lutz next time.

Jake: Don't you mean half KLUTZ?

Nina: LOL. You make me laugh. Thanks again for coming with me.

You make me so f.u.c.king happy.

Jake: You're welcome.

Later that night, Nina walked down the hall to take her evening shower. I held the paper bat in my hand, waiting to sneak it into her room.

What I almost wrote: I'd go again fo shizzle, Just to watch you swizzle.

What I wished I could have written: I want there to be a million next times.

What I never could have written: You know what?

I'd give my left nut, To have my way With that beautiful b.u.t.t.

What I actually wrote: Mr. Bat says to hang up my skates...

Because I'm the worst f.u.c.king skater in the United States.

CHAPTER 13.

Past Our very last study session before Nina's final exam rolled around. There would no longer be an official excuse to spend time alone with her on a consistent basis, and it was seriously b.u.mming me out.

Clutching her books in one hand and a plate of m.u.f.fins in the other, Nina appeared at the doorway. She looked incredibly s.e.xy in a short wool skirt and leather boots.

"I made some banana m.u.f.fins for our last time."

"Ah! I thought I smelled something baking in the kitchen. Trying to b.u.t.ter up the teacher?" I grabbed one and took a bite. "Mmm...f.u.c.king good."

"It doesn't take much, apparently."

I shook my head with a grin. "No, it doesn't."

"Thanks a lot, by the way."

My mouth was full. "For what?"

She handed me the entire plate and sat on the bed. As usual, I stayed at my desk and propped up my feet.

"You know what!" she said.

"Actually, I don't."

"Really? Baby Got Back? Ring a bell?"

Oh, snap. I'd actually forgotten about that.

Heh heh.

A few days ago, I programmed a ring tone that played Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot into Nina's phone.

"You didn't get a single phone call for three days? How are you only realizing it now?"

"You text me all the time, but the only person who really calls my cell is my dad. He rang me in the middle of cla.s.s. Everyone thinks I'm a freak now."

"A freak who likes big a.s.ses."

"According to you, yes. Thank you."

"Hey." I winked. "It takes one to know one."

Even though she was trying to pretend my prank made her mad, she couldn't contain her laughter. One of the things I loved about Nina was that she really got my strange humor even when it was at her own expense. She took everything I threw at her in stride.

I grabbed another m.u.f.fin and opened up my laptop. "We're sprinting to the finish now, Kennedy. You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"I think we need to make this a late one, work overtime. What do you say?"

She handed me some worksheets. "Can we start with probability again? That's the easiest for me. It'll get me warmed up."

As always, I looked over the sample she gave me and changed the variables to names of things Nina could relate to.

"In a group of 200 people, 36 have donkey a.s.ses, 52 have a.s.ses that are flat as a pancake, and 126 have average-sized b.u.t.ts. Out of all the people, half have m.u.f.fin tops. If one of these 200 people is to be chosen at random, what is the probability that the person has a donkey a.s.s and a m.u.f.fin top?"

"How fitting," she said.

About an hour later, we were deep into solving an equation for a different word problem when Ryan walked in.

"This box came for you, Jake." He clumsily threw the package on the bed, and it fell on the ground. Then, before walking out, he gave Nina a look that I didn't appreciate.

"Well, isn't he especially charming tonight," she said.

Picking up the box off the floor, I realized it contained some art supplies I'd ordered. "He's f.u.c.king miserable. I don't know how your brother ever got along with him."

"They didn't always get along."

"I thought you said they were best friends."

"Toward the end of Jimmy's life, they were the closest they'd ever been. Ryan was by Jimmy's side when he died, actually." She took a deep breath to compose her thoughts. "Since childhood, our families were close. He and Jimmy had their ups and downs over the years. There were times, though, when my brother and he weren't even on speaking terms."

"Really...well, I can't say that surprises me, considering what an a.s.shole he can be sometimes. What did he do to make Jimmy stop speaking to him?"

Nina pursed her lips and seemed reluctant to answer. Then, she finally said, "Ryan dated his sister."

At first, it didn't register.

His sister.

I felt the banana m.u.f.fins coming up on me.

Nina was Jimmy's only sister.

Ryan dated Nina?

f.u.c.k.

Nina and Ryan.

I think I finally understood where the term "blinded by jealousy" came from because I could have sworn my vision blurred as my brain processed the shock of hearing those words.

"What? You and Ryan?"

"Yes. Ryan and I briefly dated when I was sixteen."

My stomach sank when she confirmed it. "And you never thought to mention this before?"

"Honestly? No. It was so long ago. I don't see him that way, anymore, Jake. I look at him like a brother. I really always have. It never felt any other way with him. He'd always been around all my life, and we spent enough time around each other that when we got to a certain age, we just started dating. That's kind of how it goes in small towns, I guess."

"But you said...that other guy...Spencer...that he was your first..."

"That's right. I never had s.e.x with Ryan. I was too young."

"You kissed him..."

"Yes."

I knew I was out of line but asked it anyway. "That's all you did?"

"Jake..."

"Answer me," I demanded.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Did he touch you?"

"Yes."

I closed my eyes. "I don't want to know anymore."

"I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, actually, this explains a f.u.c.k of a lot, why he won't get off my jock about you. Does Tarah know?"

"I don't think so, unless he's told her without my knowing. Again, it was so long ago. It's almost insignificant. I don't view him like that at all."

My face felt like it was burning up. I felt the need to break something and needed to be alone to let this sink in. "Fair enough." I stood up and handed her the empty m.u.f.fin plate. "You know what, Nina? I think we've done enough for tonight. It's getting late. I actually have to take a shower. I forgot I have an early meeting tomorrow."

Without saying anything further, I left the room and headed down the hall. Blood was pumping through my ears, and it felt like the hallway was swaying.

I got in the shower and let the water rain down on me. It wasn't helping to lessen the blow of hearing that news. My mind became littered with upsetting thoughts.

The mere idea of him touching her body, sucking on her beautiful t.i.ts, going down on her, made me want to vomit. This was only the second time in my life I'd been hit with this level of jealousy, the first being her date with Alistair. This was much worse.

I vowed to stay in the shower until I could calm down. After about thirty minutes, my temper about the situation was starting to wear off. I had no right to feel this possessive toward her, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I also had no right to fault her for her lie of omission when my own was colossal. Really, the biggest thing that bothered me was that I might never get the chance to experience with her what others had.

While I couldn't help the jealousy, my reaction had been juvenile. I quickly wiped down and threw my pants on. I'd planned to go to her room and apologize but found her sitting on my bed in the same spot where I'd left her.

She got up, and her heels clicked as she walked toward me. "I'm sorry I upset you."

"I'm sorry I reacted that way."

My skin was not completely dry, and a droplet of water ran down my chest. She placed her fingertip over it and swiped it away. The delicate touch was brief but had a lasting effect. My abs tightened in an attempt to control my body's reaction.

"You wanna know something?" she whispered.

My voice was hoa.r.s.e. "What?" I was barely able to speak. All I wanted was for her to keep touching me. I wanted to push her down on the bed, lift her skirt and make her forget her own name.

"Your jealousy. It feels good."

She traced the tattoos on my right forearm with her finger while my eyes followed the path.

"Well, it doesn't feel good for me."

My body ached for the return of her touch after she stopped and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"You don't tell me what you're thinking. You don't open up to me, so it's the only thing that shows me how you feel."

"I guess I can't hide everything."

"I want to explain," she said.