"Sergeant Day." Knox held out his hand as Sergeant Day stood from the table, giving the waitress a polite nod as she squeezed behind his chair.

"It's Agent Day now, but tonight it's just Grant. How are you, Knox?" He nodded to the chair next to his.

Knox gritted his teeth, trying not to show the pain he was still in as he eased into the chair. "I'm good. Just thankful to be alive."

Grant nodded. "I hope you don't mind, my fiancee will be joining us. A month ago she bought tickets for tonight's symphony..." he looked at his watch "...which starts in ninety minutes. I forgot until she called me about a half-hour ago. She's only mildly p.i.s.sed off. Anyway, I just wanted to chat with you, kind of get a feel for your plans. I think you'd make an amazing agent. You're smart, fearless-brutal when you need to be-and you have exemplary leadership skills, not to mention years of tactical training. From a hiring standpoint, it doesn't get any better than that."

"Are you officially offering me a job?"

Grant chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. "No. I'm not that guy, but I have some pull. I like to surround myself with men I can trust. We recently lost an agent. He left some pretty big shoes to fill, and when I found out you were heading stateside again, it felt like perfect timing. If you even think you might consider it, I'd love for you to talk with my superior. I've already put in a good word for you."

"Yes, I'm definitely interested. I have a lot of incentive to stay here now."

Grant's brows lifted a bit. "A woman?"

"The woman."

Grant grinned. "Even better. And speaking of ..." He stood, looking over Knox's shoulder. "There's the love of my life."

Knox stood and turned. His sparkling eyes, his long auburn hair, his Sunny. When their eyes met, she stopped, crashing into the invisible wall between the present and the past. Her pink cheeks drained to white as Grant hugged her, brushing her hair off her neck and pressing his lips to the soft skin that had belonged to Knox. Not even shrapnel in his chest hurt as much as seeing her for the first time ever in the arms of another man for the first time ever.

"Knox, I want you to meet my Sunny."

She was not his Sunny.

"Sunny, this is Knox McGraw. This guy is a G.o.dd.a.m.n hero. I had the pleasure of having him under my command for my final two years."

"Mr. McGraw." She held out her hand.

He didn't want to shake her hand. He wanted to smash his lips to hers, rip off her clothes, and sink into her until she remembered that there wasn't a ayou or me ... just an us.' Mr. McGraw? Who the f.u.c.k was that? Mickey. She called him Mickey.

"Sunny." The weak voice that spoke her name sounded foreign to his own ears. It was something he didn't recognize. It was him without her.

If there was a G.o.d he would have numbed the feeling of her hand in his, but he felt everything. Every touch. Every kiss. Every inch of her body in that one handshake.

"Grant?" She forced a smile.

He might not have noticed, but Knox did. Knox knew everything about that woman. Grant could spend eternity with her and he would not even come close to really knowing Knox's giggling angel.

"I-I need to use the ladies' room, if you'll excuse me for a few minutes."

"Sure." He kissed her cheek.

Knox clenched his teeth as Sunny's gaze stayed fixed to his.

She turned, weaving her way through the tables, her long white dress flowing behind her.

"I'm going to take off so you two can enjoy your evening."

Grant held out his hand. "So you'll consider coming in for an interview?"

Knox shook his hand, harder than necessary. "Of course."

He traced Sunny's path, stopping at the door of the women's lounge as an older woman came out.

She smiled and nodded at him. He slipped inside. Teary eyes reflected in the mirror. He tore his gaze from hers and checked for anyone else. After he confirmed they were alone, he locked the door.

Sunny turned, mascara bled down her cheeks. "Mickey-"

"Shut up." He took two steps. "Just shut up." Palming the back of her head, he smashed his lips to hers.

She clawed his shirt, pulling him closer, their tongues desperate to reunite. He didn't let her go. He couldn't, not even when her soft moans turned into sobs. Sunny belonged to him. If he had to kiss the life out of her to prove it, to remind her ... he would.

"St-stop!" Sunny fought to push him away. "I can't." She wiped her hands over her black-stained cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I'm so f.u.c.king sorry. I messed up. I should have stayed, but I'm here now and I'm not going back."

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. It's too late."

He cradled her face, bending down a breath away from her lips. "Bulls.h.i.t! It's not too late. How ... how are you even with him? When did this happen?"

"A few days short of six months ago," she said, her tone bitter, her words daggers to his heart. "I woke up alone. I pulled out the picture of you I kept under my pillow and I said, af.u.c.k you, Mickey' as I tore it to pieces, the way you did to my heart. That night, I met Grant at the hotel bar."

He closed his eyes, resting his forehead on hers. "I'm so f.u.c.king sorry. I'll do whatever it takes to make this right. I'll spend the rest of my life proving how much I love you. You belong to me. I belong to you. It's us. You said it yourself."

"It's too late."

He rolled his forehead against hers. "No. It's never too late."

"It is."

"I love you, Sunny. I'll love you forever. Just-"

She rested her hands on his. Curling her fingers into his, she peeled them from her cheeks, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes.

"Mickey, I'll love your forever too."

A spark of hope ignited in his chest, bringing his heart back from the dead.

"But ... it's too late."

"Sunny, stop saying-"

"I'm pregnant."

Knight "She wouldn't have married my father had she not been pregnant."

Knox shrugged. "I know that's not what you want to believe, but I had to believe it. It's the only thing that kept me from swallowing the bullet of a .45 caliber."

"So that's it? She was pregnant with me and Jude. She chose my father because you chose your career. You took the job with the DEA and worked side-by-side with the man who took your life. Isn't life a cruel b.i.t.c.h?"

"That it is." He smirked. "The truth? Love is forever, yet waits for no one. He had her hand in marriage and her babies ... but I had her heart. Always."

"Is that why you raped her daughter?"

"Before Jude channeled his natural born killer instinct, he was her ... all her. But you ... you were both. Not just in the way you look, but your personality. It's your dad one day and your mom the next. It's just always been a constant reminder that they shared something that should have been mine. She was supposed to have my babies."

He laughed. "I f.u.c.king hated you for showing weakness. It was your mother's compa.s.sion showing through." He shook his head. "I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see her in you because she was my greatest weakness."

Jillian closed her eyes. His words stole her past, leaving a void. Maybe it was better to feel nothing about everything than to harbor the anger.

"Something changed. You treated me like s.h.i.t during my training, but what you did after the kidnapping ... that was different. That was so much more. Why?" Jillian, Jessica, needed to make sense of something. Knox's story crushed her in so many ways.

"She stayed." He closed his eyes.

Jillian hated the door he opened, the one that made her see him as a human. A man in love with a woman. A broken soul. She knew that feeling. That wasn't allowed. There could be no empathy for the man who raped her. Life was a cruel b.i.t.c.h because in that moment a grain-of-sand-on-the-beach part of her heart felt something for the monster, and it wasn't hate. Maybe only another monster who had done some horrifically regrettable things, too, could feel it.

Chapter Thirty-Three.

Jackson survived the trip to San Francisco without hearing a word from Luke. It gave him time to contemplate the ident.i.ty of the man who would step off the plane. As the moist air dampened his lungs upon exiting the airport, he realized the duality no longer existed. The line between his past and present disappeared. Jackson was Jude and Jude was Jackson.

"If you want to go home, I have a few errands to run. I can pick you up later."

Luke squinted. "Don't give me that s.h.i.t."

"If you end up dead, don't blame me."

"I'll keep that in mind ... when I'm dead."

They took a series of buses weaving them through the city then walked for several blocks.

"What is this?" Luke asked.

"It's where I hide my bones." Jackson tipped over an old bench and dug into the brush and dirt atop a hill in Golden Gate Park.

"Bones?"

"It's a dog reference since I'm digging in the dirt. You have a dog, so I thought you'd get it. Apparently not."

"If you need money-"

"Nope." Jackson kept digging.

"A tracking device for Jess?"

He grinned. "So you think she needs one too? Well, that's something we agree on."

"No. I'm just trying to figure out why the h.e.l.l you're digging for abones' when we need to find out where they've taken her!"

"I know where she's at."

"What?"

Jackson clenched his fingers around a strap and tugged, unearthing a duffle bag.

"Answer me? Where? How do you know?"

He wiped the caked-on mud off the bag. "When we landed, I received a text."

"Well, why the h.e.l.l didn't you say something? What did the text say?"

"Nothing."

"You received a text that said nothing? That doesn't make sense."

"It was an image."

Jackson refilled the hole and returned the bench to its original spot.

"Well show me the f.u.c.king image."

"No." He pulled himself up and sat on the bench, dusting off his pants.

"No? Did you just tell me no?"

Jackson glanced up and sighed. The weight of the image nearly broke him, and he was unbreakable. It would destroy Luke.

"I think you should let me handle this. Preston? The man I killed? I saw the shock on your face. I tasted your disgust. And that was a simple case of taking out the trash. But you felt sorry for him. It was very humane of you."

Luke fisted the collar of Jackson's shirt and pulled him close. "Listen to me," he gritted. "I don't know what you think you tasted, but it wasn't disgust. That wife-beating a.s.shole got what he deserved. But I don't want to talk about him. I want you to show. Me. The. G.o.dd.a.m.n. Picture!"

"No." Jackson silently applauded Luke's b.a.l.l.siness, even if it was futile.

"If she dies, it's on you, a.s.shole."

Jackson clenched his teeth. "How do you figure?"

"You killed AJ. You let her leave alone, and then you failed to ask the right questions to the right people. But we don't have time to argue about how I feel about you, so just show me the f.u.c.king picture."