Now she remembered what they shared yesterday... Something called a kiss. A kiss which he even initiated.

The woman was quite the optimist out of all the self-proclaimed realists in the world since she conveniently forgot that he only did that to stage an act, for survival.

"Chris, I never know the world you live in is much more perilous and complicated than mine. Still..."

"I, very much, love you."

Before she fell asleep, with a faint smile on her lips, she uttered the words she never managed to say before, those words which perhaps she just couldn't gather the courage to say since she knew there was a high likelihood of being rejected.

The woman was weird since she dreaded her spoken words of affection getting denied more than her love shown through actions receiving the same outcome.

...

When Alessa woke up around midnight, she didn't notice the complicated gaze the half-host was giving her prior to that.

All her mind had processed was that he finally regained consciousness. And she was very happy about it.

"You're awake!" Indescribable joy undisguisedly accompanied her pleasant voice.

Chris nodded, at a loss at the feelings brought to him by the fact that there was someone so ecstatic to see him wake up.

While grabbing onto his chest and making a pained expression, he lifted his upper body up from the bed.

The woman immediately came to his side and supported him. His gaze settled on her features that got closer to him all of a sudden.

He had been awake for some time already. The system had already finished telling and showing him everything he needed to know after he went into a day-long coma.

"I'm sorry... for the trouble." He quietly said, his eyes closing.

Alessa shook her head. "Don't mention it. But actually, you should go lie down more. I'll call Aura and have her order or make some light dishes for you."

"I already did. She checked on us about ten minutes ago."

The woman momentarily felt a bit lost, blinking foolishly at his messy hair and pale appearance.

Chris looked at her with the usual seriousness he always had when facing her. Nothing changed from his expression.

Even though actually deep inside he felt so drowned in confusion and many other indescribable feelings which never really left him ever since this woman began to show him her affection for him.

He was asleep earlier, but the system recorded what she said and what she looked like when she said it. It showed him everything the moment he woke up as though that would be what would put its mind at ease.

Her declaration brought him to the clouds. Apart from his parents and the illusion of Felicity in his dreams, n.o.body else ever told him those three words before with such intensity and sincerity.

He felt so overwhelmed, yet equally afraid since it was obvious that if he mistakenly set foot on the clouds, he would immediately fall to his death.

'Alessa, why do you want me to fall?'

For once, the ent.i.ty inside his brain didn't make any noise. Unlike its peers, it was sensible enough to know the half-host needed some peace and quiet to search himself and feel up his shaken heart.

It knew though, Chris would only acknowledge her for now, but won't make any other advancement to their relations.h.i.+p since even if the man was most of the times a heartless b.a.s.t.a.r.d, it was against his principle to deceive someone of his feelings or make them think he loved them when he clearly was not there yet.

The food arrived and they ate in silence. After that, they were left again inside the room by themselves. The two others felt that Alessa and Chris would want to talk with each other privately hence they took the initiative to get out of the place.

'You really can't send any message for me, huh?'

Chris frowned at the response he got but didn't blame it. Everything was his fault. His misplaced confidence brought this all upon him.

He shook his head and grabbed on the blanket tightly.

How hateful.

He hated having to converse with anybody while confined in the bed. Why did that l.u.s.tful host targeted and incapacitated his legs yesterday? d.a.m.n it.

"Chris?"

Alessa watched him worriedly. The actor saw it and was reminded of her confession again.

So heavy. The weight it put above his heart was so heavy that it almost made him breathless. He knew he had to say something or else, the pa.s.sing of time would suffocate him.

"... If, If I tell you that you'll die if you like me, what will you do?"

Alessa looked at him with utter shock. She couldn't digest his meaning immediately hence it became shocking to her, especially since he mentioned dying.

Seconds later, comprehension dawned to her. She repeatedly batted her eyelashes. "... Like you until death then?"

"... Why?"

"...Just because! You know, there are just really things that happened because it's supposed to happen."

He became quiet for some time before absentmindedly muttering in a complaining manner, " So incomprehensible. What's to like about a monster anyway?"

Chris closed his eyes and sunk his upper body on the mattress. His arm moved to cover his upper face.

The darkness that consumed his vision took him to the distant past where the him of three years ago became very heartbroken for the second last time when the girl he liked chose to close the doors to her heart and mind just because she thought he wouldn't be able to accept her dirtiness.

He did become angry at first though, therefore he was very guilty. Yet when she died, the heart he dedicated to her for roughly five years also died.

To be honest, that was only a matter of the past now.

Yet he couldn't help but compare himself to Felicity. Their love for each didn't work out because she didn't give him a chance to try to accept her.

Was he doing the same to Alessa? Why was he being so pointlessly cruel?

Chris found himself so hateful and undeserving of being loved.

Just then, its ever so annoying voice told him.

He couldn't reply as his mind had blanked out. It told him one of the things that he didn't want to admit right now. Even though the skin in contact with the moistness from his eyes was already telling him enough of this fact.

Alessa's voice rang a couple of moments after that.

"Are you already sleeping? I am worried you'll wake up later needing something so I'll stay. Are you okay with that?"

The young man kept his silence. There was no other choice. If he answered now, his voice would surely rat out his current embarra.s.sing mental and emotional state.

Then Alessa added in a haste. "... Don't worry, I'll just be on the sofa. I won't be a bother. It's my turn now to tend to the sick you, so just comfortably get your sleep."

He still didn't reply and so her setup was followed.

Hours later, when the girl was sleeping, Chris had sneakily called Sofony through Alessa's phone. When the needed points came at him, he subjected himself to a full recovery. Afterward, he tossed the sleeping woman to the bed and found himself another room to sleep in.

Tomorrow, he'd make sure to face her properly.

Just this once, he would gamble for a chance for real and loved life.

...

...

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