FAITH. I think you're very silly and childish to be so bitter.

BOBBIE. Bitter! (_Laughs satirically._) What else could I be? The one girl whom I cared for and trusted has gaily thrown me over the first moment she hears that I am not going to have as much money as she thought. I'm losing my temper now, and I'm glad of it. I shall probably repent every word I say afterwards, but that won't stop me telling you exactly what I think of you. I don't suppose you've ever been in love at all--except to the extent of having signed photographs of Owen Nares and Henry Ainley stuck all over your bedroom, but when you do, I hope you get it really badly, you deserve to be absolutely utterly wretched, as wretched as you've made me, and I hope when you do marry that you get a rotten old Scotch marmalade maker who says "Hoots!" and spills haggis all down his waistcoat.

FAITH (_bursting into tears_). Oh, Bobbie, how dare you....

(_goes to her and goes down on his knees_)

BOBBIE. Oh, Faith darling, forgive me, I didn't mean a word of it--I swear I didn't....

FAITH (_they both rise_). Whether you meant it or not I hate you.

(_Pushes him away._) You're blatant and beastly, and I never wish to see you again. (_She walks upstairs and pauses._) I shall have breakfast in my room. (_Exit._)

(BOBBIE _stamps out and collides with_ SYLVIA, _who is coming in with a bunch of freshly picked flowers._)

BOBBIE. Why can't you look where you're going?

(_He stamps out of sight._)

SYLVIA. Nice sweet-tempered little fellow. (_Moves to above table; puts roses in bowl. Takes "Daily Mirror" from window-seat, goes down to Chesterfield and reads it._)

(_Enter_ DANIEL _downstairs with bag. He comes very quietly and doesn't see_ SYLVIA. _He stumbles and_ SYLVIA _watches him._)

SYLVIA (_suddenly_). Excuse me! Have you been stealing any thing.

DANIEL (_putting down bag_). d.a.m.n! I didn't want any one to see me.

SYLVIA. Where were you going?

DANIEL(_coming_ R.C.). To the _Green Hart_. I couldn't face another meal like dinner last night.

SYLVIA. I know it was pretty awful, but you can't go out of the house like this. Mother'd be furious.

DANIEL. One more wouldn't matter--everybody else is. (_Coming_ L.C.)

SYLVIA. I'm not a bit.

DANIEL. I know, I was just going to except you; you've been charming, but really it was terrible. I can't stay. Oliver has such a lowering expression, and if Joyce gives me one more "dumb animal in pain" look, I shall scream.

SYLVIA. I can't understand why they're all being so silly--I gave them credit for more sense of humour.

DANIEL. And Bobbie--Bobbie was the worst of the lot.

SYLVIA. Well, one can forgive him a little more because of Faith.

DANIEL. Why? What about Faith?

SYLVIA (_rising, going to him_). Oh, the little beast chucked him last night, the moment she heard you weren't going to leave him a fortune.

DANIEL. Did she, by Jove!

SYLVIA (_returning_ R.C.). Personally I'm delighted. I always distrusted her, and this proves what I've said all along. But that doesn't make Bobbie any better tempered about it.

DANIEL (L.C.). Poor old Bobbie, I bet he hates me.

SYLVIA. If he does he's a fool.

DANIEL. After all you can't blame him, it's only natural.

SYLVIA. He ought to be jolly grateful to you for being the means of showing her up.

DANIEL. Perhaps--but he won't be. I know what it feels like; we all go through it sometime or another. I'd love to wring that girl's neck though.

SYLVIA. You like Bobbie best of us all, don't you?

DANIEL. With the exception of you--yes. I think it's because he's the most like me. He is, you know. If he'd lived my life he'd have done exactly the same things.

SYLVIA. I wonder. (_Sits_ L. _of Chesterfield._)

DANIEL (_smiling_). I know. (_He sits on chair, head of table._) He's got just the same regard for the truth, the same sublime contempt of the world, and the same amount of bombast and good opinion of himself that I started with, I only hope he'll make better use of his chances, and carve out a better career for himself.

SYLVIA. If he does, he'll owe it all to you--first for rousing him up and making him work, and secondly for getting rid of Faith for him. Had he married her, she'd have been a millstone round his neck. He doesn't realize it now, but yesterday was one of the luckiest days of his life.

DANIEL. D'you really think so?

SYLVIA. I'm sure of it.

DANIEL. That's simply splendid. You've bucked me up tremendously. I shan't mind the _Green Hart_ nearly so much now. (_Rising._)

SYLVIA (_putting him back on seat_). Uncle, you're not to go to the _Green Hart_ at all, I won't have it.

DANIEL. I must. When they all sit round looking reproachfully at me, it makes me feel as if I could sink under the table.

SYLVIA (_patting him and kneeling by him_). But they won't--they'll have got over it.

DANIEL. They're all much too young to get over being made fools of as quickly as that.

SYLVIA. But, uncle----

DANIEL. It's no use--I'm firm. I won't come back until they want me. As a matter of fact I realise I've been very foolish. I shouldn't have let things go so far. Naturally they were terribly disappointed at my wanting to live till eighty-two or eighty-three, and not having any money to leave them.

SYLVIA. They're not really disappointed so much as outraged. They feel you've been laughing up your sleeve at them, as of course you have.

DANIEL. No, I haven't--you're wrong there--I haven't. I couldn't help you financially. I'd borrowed the money to come over and the cheque I'd sent before. I'd just won, so I thought that the only way to a.s.sist at all was to use mental persuasion on all of you. There's always something fascinating in the idea of having money left one. It seems such an easy way of getting it. Of course it answered better than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams.

SYLVIA. It was a little unnecessary to take each of us aside like you did and stuff us up with hope.

DANIEL. That and a bunch of keys was all I had. It was such a wonderful situation. I--never having had a penny in the wide, (_gaily_), arranging to leave you my entire fortune. (_He starts to laugh._) You must confess it was very, very funny.

SYLVIA (_also laughing_). Yes, it was.... (_They both laugh heartily_).