"You're a very generous and giving woman, Mom. If you could get past this - you would."

"I need to get on with my life. I've been in a holding pattern for years - like I was in suspended animation. I've had enough!" She sat up and wiped her eyes with a napkin, then shook her head to clear it and said, "Goodness! Life is so much more painful without a hearty dose of alcohol!"

She got up and went to the refrigerator and poured herself a gla.s.s of orange juice. Jamie didn't ask the question - she just c.o.c.ked her head and waited to see if her mother wished to talk about it further.

"My therapist seems to have the notion that I drink to escape my feelings," she said lightly, sitting back down and gazing at her daughter with an unreadable expression on her face.

Again, Jamie didn't reply, she just raised an eyebrow and Catherine continued. "I've decided to limit myself to one drink a day - just to prove her wrong, of course," she chuckled. Glancing at her watch she said, "It's probably a little early for my daily quota now, isn't it?"

Leaning in for another hug, Jamie merely said, "You're a very brave woman, Mom. I admire how you're handling all of this. I know it's really tough for you."

"Thank you, sweetheart," she whispered. "I'm doing my best. Sometimes I don't think I can get through it, and then I remind myself that my daughter deserves a sober mom."

"I have a great mom," Jamie murmured, kissing her mother's cheeks gently and leaning in for another hug.

When Ryan came back, they were still at the breakfast table, and she stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. "Have you two moved?" she asked, a scowl on her handsome face.

"Nope. We decided to be in place for lunch. Hungry?"

"Gee... when have I ever said no to that question?" Ryan grinned. "I'll make lunch," she offered.

As if she had the room bugged, Marta appeared and guided Ryan to a chair. "I will make anything you desire, Ryan. It is my pleasure."

Ryan cast a glance at her mother-in-law and asked, "Can Marta go home with us?"

"No way, Ryan. Marta and I are a package deal."

"Oh, I'd be happy to have you come too, Catherine. I'll give you my room." She had a big smile on her face, and Catherine knew that at some level the young woman was entirely serious.

"I think we'll keep the Peninsula branch of the family right where it is, Ryan. We need the s.p.a.ce for parties!"

"Speaking of parties, you'll come spend Christmas with us, won't you, Mom?" Jamie asked. "We'll all get together on Christmas Eve for dinner, and then go to midnight Ma.s.s."

"You sound like an old hand at this," Catherine said with a smile.

She blushed a little as she admitted, "This will be my second Christmas Eve with the O'Flahertys."

"It will?" Catherine asked with a puzzled look on her face. "I distinctly remember you going to Ma.s.s at your grandfather's."

"I snuck out of Jack's apartment to go," she revealed. "I told him I had to go to Berkeley to pick up something, and then I met him at church. I was at Ryan's from late afternoon until eleven!"

"My, what a secret life you've led," the elder Evans said fondly.

"I also snuck out of the firm's New Year's party to go find Ryan at her party," she said rather happily.

"And neither of you knew that you were attracted to each other?" Catherine asked in amazement. "I don't ever remember sneaking out of the house to go see my girlfriends, Jamie," she teased.

Ryan smiled at her mother-in-law. "I was totally attracted to Jamie by that time," she confessed, "but I convinced myself it was a wasted effort." She smiled at her partner and said, "I think she had a pretty good idea that she had feelings for me too by that point. I got a ma.s.sive vibe from you at the New Year's party," Ryan fondly admitted. "It seemed really important to you to give me a New Year's kiss."

"Mmm, I still remember how my lips tingled when I kissed you," Jamie said with a dreamy expression on her face. She sighed heavily, tossing her head to clear it. "So, what's the verdict, Mom? Will you come?"

Turning to Catherine, Ryan commented, "You may as well agree to come have Christmas with us, Catherine. She always gets her way."

"That she does," Catherine agreed fondly. "All right, I'll come. But would you come home with me after church and spend the night? I hate to seem so needy, but the thought of waking up on Christmas morning to an empty house is a little more than I can bear right now."

"We'd be happy to, wouldn't we, honey?" Jamie said immediately.

"We would love to, Catherine," Ryan agreed with a sweet smile as she reached over and squeezed her hand. Turning to Jamie, Ryan asked, "Do you want to spend some time with your father too? I know this is going to be hard for all of you to get through."

"Oh G.o.d," Jamie muttered as she closed her eyes tightly. "I... guess I..."

"It's all right, Jamie," Catherine said. "I want you to spend time with him. He's going to be very lonely this year, too."

"I will, Mom, and I really appreciate that you still feel some empathy for him."

"I love him, Jamie," she said softly, tears forming in her eyes once again. "I will always love him. I just can't be married to him."

After lunch the threesome sat out by the pool, trying to soak up the watery rays of the thin sun. Jamie turned to her partner and said, "When you were gone, Mom asked what we had planned for New Year's, and I realized that we haven't discussed it."

Chuckling mildly, Ryan agreed. "We've had so much going on that it just didn't seem like it was that close."

"If you'd like to do something special, Mom had a brilliant suggestion."

"Really, what is it, Catherine?"

"Well, I told Jamie that I knew about Mia and her newfound interest in Jordan," she said.

"Oh, do you now?" Ryan teased. "How did you figure that mystery out?"

"It wasn't hard," she admitted. "I saw them dancing together at your father's wedding, but I didn't give much thought to it at the time. I know girls your age are often very affectionate with each other. But I was at your house after I took Jennie to Sacred Heart, and they came in. They were quite... affectionate, as well as very distracted, and they didn't see me, but they were a lot friendlier than I can remember being when I was that age!"

"Oh, they're friendly all right," Ryan admitted with a chuckle. "But how does that relate to New Year's?"

"I told Mom how upset Mia is to have Jordan gone, and she suggested we all go somewhere together for New Year's. Since you'll be in North Carolina on the 30th, it makes sense to go somewhere on the east coast, and she suggested the Bahamas."

"Wow," Ryan said slowly. "That would be nice..."

"Warm water, sun, sand..." Jamie said.

Ryan's lips curled into a big grin as her eyes blinked slowly. "Mmm, I do love the water."

"Crystal clear water that actually looks aqua against the pink sand," Catherine supplied.

"Mmm." The dark haired woman submerged herself in the thought for a moment before her eyes opened wide and she said, "Pink?"

"Pink," Catherine stated confidently. "My favorite place in the Bahamas most definitely has pink sand. Have you ever been to the Caribbean?"

"I've been to beaches from Los Angeles to Point Reyes in the U.S., and I've ranged as far as DingleBeach in Ireland, but that's it."

"Then you are most definitely in for a treat," Catherine promised.

"But what about Jordan and Mia?" Ryan asked, obviously willing to accept the gift. "Don't we have to check their schedules first?"

"Well, Jordan will know if she makes the team by then, since they make the final cut on the thirtieth. If she gets cut, she can definitely come with us, and if she doesn't, she could go straight to Florida for their first tournament. I think Mia said it starts on January the fourth."

"That sounds great, and the thought of lying on a warm beach is extremely appealing - but how can we get in anywhere at this late date? You know, most of the world thinks it's the new millennium, even though that's really next year."

"I have the best travel agent in the English speaking world, Ryan," Catherine informed her. "Let me see what magic he can work for you all."

"That would be great, but are you sure Mia's available?" Ryan asked.

"What could you imagine would make Mia pa.s.s up four days on the beach with Jordan?" Jamie asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"Good point," Ryan laughed. "Make the call!"

Catherine went inside to get her travel agent started, and after a minute Ryan asked, "Is today the twenty-first?"

"Yep. Why?"

"I've been trying to work out a schedule to get our training in. If we start as soon as we get back, we'll have exactly six months to get ready for the ride." She shook her head, and said, "I've never tried to prepare with so little time, but I guess we don't have much choice."

"Pardon?" Jamie asked slowly, recognition dawning.

"The AIDS Ride?" Ryan said, giving her partner a puzzled look. "You know... the seventh annual AIDS Ride? The one you and I are going to do together?"

"Just back up a minute," Jamie ordered. "You mean to tell me that you honestly think you have time to partic.i.p.ate in the ride this year?"

Ryan blinked slowly and nodded. "I have to!"

"You most certainly do not! I'll have to push you across the finish line in a hospital bed, and you know it, Ryan O'Flaherty!"

Ryan's eyes filled with determination, and her chin jutted out just enough to show she was not going to give in. "Then you'll just have to do that, Jamie, because I'm doing the ride!"

By the time Catherine neared the pool, she could hear the raised voices, and see the flush coloring her daughter's face. Turning immediately, she started to head back to the house. "Mom!" Jamie called. "Will you come here and help me convince this block-head that she can't possibly get ready to do the AIDS Ride this year?"

"No, I most certainly will not," Catherine said over her shoulder. "I will never get involved in your squabbles, honey. Call me when you're finished arguing."

Ryan looked over and said, "Come on back, Catherine. We're not arguing." She turned to Jamie and narrowed her eyes. "There's nothing to argue about. I'm doing the AIDS Ride this year. I'd love to have you join me, Jamie, but I won't be angry if you choose not to."

"You make me so d.a.m.ned mad some times!" the blonde cried. "How can you ignore the patently obvious facts, Ryan? You're underweight; you're still lethargic from your illness; you've got a huge independent study next term that will take up a ma.s.sive amount of your time; you're trying to play a varsity sport with a martinet for a coach; and you've committed to tutoring Jennie! When in the h.e.l.l will you have time to ride?"

When Catherine reached the door she called out, "Let me know when you're finished not arguing, girls."

"We're not arguing," Ryan insisted, her face getting red as well. "There's nothing to argue about." Leaning closer to her partner she whispered harshly, "You can't tell me what to do! Others have tried - and failed!"

Catherine's eyes widened as the door closed, determined to stay inside until there was a truce. Well, at least Ryan's shown she's human... I was beginning to wonder!

"How can I get you to listen to reason?" Jamie fumed, not even noticing that her mother had departed.

"The same way I can get you to," Ryan said, with a withering glare. "Maybe you've just not been paying attention, but the AIDS Ride means a tremendous amount to me. I've partic.i.p.ated every single year - and this isn't going to be the year I break the string! You are free to make your own decisions, Jamie. If you don't think you can get ready, you don't even have to try. But I'm doing it if June the fourth is the first time my a.s.s is on a bike seat!"

The sound Jamie let out was half scream and half howl. "You're positively infuriating!" She leapt to her feet, and stormed back into the house, leaving Ryan to savor the blessed silence.

An hour later, Jamie went back outside, smiling gently when she spied her lover, sound asleep on the lounge chair. Her organizer was lying open on the ground next to her, and the breeze was making the pages flip noisily. Picking up the ma.s.sive book, Jamie looked through the weeks, noting that Ryan had already neatly filled in notations for practically every available moment between January the fourth and June the third, with an estimate of how many miles she would be able to ride in the given time. She had to chuckle to herself when she saw that Ryan rode an hour later every day after daylight-saving time began, since she would have that extra hour of light.

She sat down and gazed at her sleeping partner, her anger forgotten. Ryan was often infuriating, but Jamie had to admit that she deeply admired her perseverance and dedication to a cause. The AIDS Ride was important to her, and she was going to partic.i.p.ate - no matter the cost.

The sleepy blue eyes blinked open, and Jamie reached over and grasped Ryan's hand. "Mad at me?" the blonde asked.

With a smile that could have melted the hardest heart, Ryan shook her head gently. "Of course not. Are you mad at me?"

"No. You know I can't stay mad at you. You're too d.a.m.ned adorable." She tweaked her nose and offered a hand up when Ryan tried to sit.

"You won't even try to get ready with me, will you?" she asked softly, looking into Jamie's eyes.

The blonde head shook. "I can't, honey. I have golf practice in the mornings and I have to practice or be in a tournament both days of the weekend. I just don't have the time." She put her arms around Ryan and said, "I'll still contribute, of course, and since we signed up for this year at the end of last year's ride, I think I'll just let them think I'm going to ride."

"Why's that?" Ryan asked.

"So you get a tent to yourself," Jamie teased. "No way I'm letting anyone get that close to you for a whole week!"

Later that afternoon, Jamie found a quiet moment to put in a call to her father. Her talk with her mother about the divorce had been weighing on her mind, and she felt a strong pull to connect with him. "Hi, Daddy," she said when she reached him at his office.

"Hi, sweetheart," he said, and she could practically see the smile that graced his face when he recognized her voice.

"Daddy, I wanted to see if you had plans for Christmas," she said. "If not, I'd really like to spend some time with you - if you can come to California, that is."

"Are you sure, Jamie?" he asked hesitantly. "Of course I'd like to come, but I don't want to interfere..."

"Daddy, you can't interfere with my life... you're part of my life. Of course I want to spend some of the holiday season with you."

"I'm free after today, to be honest, honey. I was just wasting time in the office since I didn't have anything better to do."

She felt that statement tug at her heart, and she said, "Come home, Daddy. We have a lot of things going on, but I'll spend every moment I can spare with you. Poppa would really like to see you, too," she reminded him.

"Okay, baby," he said. "I'll come as soon as I can get a reservation."

"I'm really looking forward to seeing you, Daddy," she said. "I miss you."

"Thank you, baby," he said in a strangled voice. "That means a lot to me."

PART 9.

THAT NIGHT, SARA Andrews walked up a steep hill, wishing that she'd been able to find a parking spot closer to Ally's apartment. It wasn't that she minded the walk, she was just a little worried that she'd look like she'd been climbing hills, and it was very important to her to look her best.

She was unreasonably nervous, and had spent much of the day obsessing about everything from her current haircut to her clothing.

Her natural tendency was to dress stylishly. She knew that her clothing choices were often far too sophisticated for someone her age, but she felt comfortable with her chosen style. In addition, she had to dress well for work - and she didn't want to have to maintain two complete wardrobes. So, she usually wore stylishly feminine outfits for both work and play. That habit had always worked well before, but now she worried that she might have to change her style to better fit in with Ally.