Then @CoolDude spoke the words truly in my heart in a comment, and I could settle no longer!

As such, I've edited the last chapter and written the dialogue the way it SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALL ALONG. If you don't want to have to re-read the entire chapter, no worries! I've gone ahead and pasted it below for your reading pleasure! Enjoy the s.h.i.+ttalk and s.e.xual tension! :)

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In the stunned silence that follows my calm description of dragon slaying, I look back down.

Right into the striking violet eyes of my Valkyrie G.o.ddess.

No wonder that shaman looked familiar! He's her Party Leader, the one who thought I was too noob to run a dungeon with them.

'Thank you, Fickle Fortune, for giving me this chance to explain away my middle school-worthy cringe behavior so soon!' I enthusiastically think to the winds of fate.

I put on my most sincere smile, which is mostly a slightly-less-smug smirk, and step towards Kara Geir, G.o.ddess of my Dreams.

"Hi, I'm Erebus," I say. Aloud, with actual words.

Boom. PROGRESS.

She smiles, and I'm transported back to that arena, flirting from afar and beating up pervs.

Good times.

And then her lovely lips open to say what I'm sure will be lovely words…

…when alas, our fated flirtation is once again thwarted.

"Oh. My. G.o.d. You're hot runner guy!" a pink-haired c.o.c.kblock shouts.

I wince at the reminder. "About that—" I try to explain.

"Nuh-uh! He's the awesome guy I saw in Lough Gur who tricked that thief into killing himself!" the Pu`ca Liam/Taliesin shouts over me.

"This is the guy you were stalking?" Party Leader Nanuk the Shaman asks him, surprised.

Not more surprised than me, though.

He was what now?

"Not stalking. Following!" Taliesin corrects.

Uh.

Is that actually different?

"Why exactly—" I try again.

"WAIT," interrupts annoying Anubis dude-bro. "So this is video guy?" He turns an eerily Ken-like grin on me. "Yo, Boxers Bro!"

Everyone, including Draegkyn girl and Valkyrie G.o.ddess Kara, glances down at my crotch, as if to double-check that the pink boxers with "HERO" splayed across the a.s.s are still hidden by pants.

I make eye contact with Nightfury. "Kill me," I silently plead.

"Not even," he replies, and I can almost hear his s.a.d.i.s.tic mental laughter.

"I suppose I owe you an apology," Nanuk says in his usual gruff voice.

At this point, my soul has pretty much left my body, so I'm not even sure what he's trying to apologize for.

"Clearly, you weren't too under-leveled to help us clear Nightmare. I should have listened to Kara and tried harder to convince you to join our Party," he says, and surprisingly, he legitimately sounds sorry.

I open my mouth, but don't say anything. Subconsciously, I think I'm waiting for yet someone else to interrupt me.

But then no one does, so that gets awkward real quick.

I cough to cover it up. "Ahem, uh, no worries. It was better, this way. I needed a ton of upgrade materials, and working with Kane's party worked more in my favor for that."

Fiiiinally. I have explained why I ran like an idiot.

I shoot Nanuk a grateful look, which he probably misinterprets, but whatever. Kara Geir is nodding in understanding, and her Draegkyn friend Jade Thorn is whispering something that sounds a lot like, "See, told you Hot Guy wasn't just running away for no reason. Operation: Hook up with Hot Guy commence!"

I amend my previous c.o.c.kblock statement.

Wing. f.u.c.king. Woman.

"HAHA!" Shadeslayer laughs triumphantly. "See? Erebus needed US to beat that dungeon! You guys wouldn't have helped him at all!"

The awkward intensifies as no one knows how to deal with just how dumb Shadeslayer is.

In the end, we all silently agree to let him carry on with his delusion.

"Anywayyy," I move us along, "sorry I couldn't help you guys score a First Clear this time, but I'd be happy to help you with the next one."

Jade jabs Kara in the side with her elbow.

"Oof. Uh. I mean, that might be interesting," Kara says. Grinning, Jade winks at me. I decide to send her the next cool steel armor I find.

"What's so interesting?" Anubis-bro protests, toothy grin gone as quickly as it had appeared. "I doubt he did anything that different from us."

Lialas laughs and Shadeslayer looks like he's about to get huffy, so I calm him with a hand on his arm.

Ignoring Rahotep, I grin at Kara. "Might be? Sounds like a challenge."

She raises that perfectly arched eyebrow again, amused-yet-unimpressed. "It's simply been my experience that one man's 'interesting' is another woman's 'so bored I'm making a mental grocery list until this is over'."

I step closer and pitch my voice lower. "The only people bored on a team with me, are those too weak to keep up."

Fire flashes in her amethyst eyes, and she, too, steps closer. Bare centimeters separate us. "If you're even twice as good as you think you are," she says, voice low and rich as dark chocolate, "I'm still twice as good as that."

Instinctively, I feel the need to draw Zen'aku and challenge this mind-blowing woman to a duel.

That, or strip back down to those boxers and hope she'll have her way with me.

I check the time at the bottom of my vision. It's still early. We have time for both.

"Why don't we—" I manage to get out before:

"EEEEEEK!" Shadeslayer screams like a five-year-old girl and hides behind Lialas, pointing up at the hawthorn tree behind me.

"What the—" I turn, and holy s.h.i.+tb.a.l.l.s, I kinda want to scream and hide behind Lialas, too, because there is a creepy four-armed, four-legged black-skinned spider dude descending upside down from the tree on a thick strand of silver webbing.

Now this, my dudes, is a bonafide c.o.c.kblock.

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" the other party's Anubis Warrior yells, and Shadeslayer vigorously nods in agreement.

"Greetings," terrifying spider-dude says in a rich, rumbling ba.s.s voice. "I am Anansi, G.o.d of Storytelling."

"Right. h.e.l.lo then," I say, and if my voice squeaks a little, who can blame me?

Spider G.o.d calmly flips over to settle upon the ground on only two bare feet, leaving all six remaining limbs protruding at odd angles from his lean, but muscular body. He's technically all human parts, just too many of them. He's wearing only an orange togy sarong-type thing that wraps around his waist and across one shoulder.

"Erebus. Are you the Leader who led his Party to victory and secured the first Nightmare Mode Clear?"

"I guess?"

He smiles, too wide to be natural, with too many teeth. It's a trickster's smile, mischievous and wicked.

It sends s.h.i.+vers down my spine, but I paste my own mischievous smirk on my face, more out of stubbornness than anything.

His smile widens a fraction more, and his black eyes gleam. Then he snaps fingers on all four hands, and everyone not in our Party disappears. Including the woman I think might be the love of my life.

Except I can't know for sure because fate keeps conspiring against me.

G.o.dS d.a.m.nIT.

Shadeslayer screams again. "Where'd they go? Are they DEAD?"