When he uses the strongest faculties of his nature the result is constant gratification. The use of weaker elements is always at the expense of extra effort and pain. The muscular woodsman enjoys the exercise of chopping, and swings his glittering axe with dexterity and pride. Put a college professor at the same task, and he would be clumsy and suffer fatigue and mortification as well, if he escaped without injury to his shins. But in his school-room the professor would display dignity, enjoyment and skill in expounding some intricate problem to admiring pupils. The skillful musician becomes identified with his instrument, and thrills with the melody evoked by his own fingers. The trained accountant becomes wonderfully gifted in mathematical computation, and enjoys his work in like manner. The accountant might find the work of the musician an impossibility, and what little he did accomplish, a vexation; while the confinement of the counting-room, with its prosaic duties, would be the worst form of slavery for the musician, his work inferior, his capacity limited, his situation intolerable but for the meagre salary it might afford.

A bank president called on me with his son, requesting an examination for the latter. As he came in, I saw that he was in a bad humor. Said he, "This boy is a fool. If you can find any talent in him you will succeed better than I have. My desire is, that he should occupy a position in my bank and ultimately become cashier. Our present cashier is a first-cla.s.s business man and can add up four columns of figures at once, and I have sent this boy to several business colleges with the request that he be taught the same accomplishment. I have spent seven hundred and fifty dollars on this boy's mathematics, and he can't add up one column of figures with any certainty of being correct. If there is any sense in him, I would like to have you find it."

I examined the boy carefully, and I did not find an idiot. I said, "Sir, you are doing this boy an injustice. He has but little mathematical sense, it is true, and he will never be able to add more than one column of figures with speed and correctness. Nature intended him for something different from a bank cashier. Give this boy a good violin, place him under competent instructors, spend seventy-five dollars on his musical education and he will display such magnificent talent that you will be willing to continue."

The old gentleman arose in wrath, and stamped out of the room, and said he didn't want any fiddlers in his family. The next day, however, he came back and apologized. Said he, "I suppose it is better for the boy to be a good violinist than a poor accountant; at all events, I've failed so far, and I'll try your advice to the extent of seventy-five dollars; if he displays talents as a musician, he shall have the best instruction money can obtain."

He kept his word, and placed the boy in a musical conservatory under first-cla.s.s instructors, and before the seventy-five dollars was expended, the boy was the pride of the inst.i.tution. He led his cla.s.ses; graduated with first honors; is to-day the leader of a first-cla.s.s orchestra and a professor in a leading conservatory; commands better compensation than any accountant in the city, and has an _entree_ into the best society at all times by reason of his accomplishments. He stands to-day a king among his fellows because he is using his strongest faculties. But the best of it lies in the fact that he enjoys his profession; his position is one of dignity and pleasure. Whether he stands before audiences at the head of his orchestra, in the drawing rooms of _elite_ society, or in the solitude of his study, his brain vibrates with the harmony of his own grand usefulness.

I have a friend who holds the position of first book-keeper in a leading bank, and he is master of the situation because he is able to add four columns of figures at once with absolute accuracy. He commands a first-cla.s.s salary for first-cla.s.s work, and it is pleasurable to watch the pride, the dignity, and the evident enjoyment with which he performs the duties of his station. On one occasion I went into the bank to settle an account of long standing, and at the request of the cashier, my friend, the book-keeper, made out the account and added it up in his usual quick way. The cashier, being desirous of preventing any possible mistake, said, "Mr. B----, will you please add that up again and see that your figures are correct." The book-keeper was insulted. The idea that he might make a mistake was not to be tolerated. With an expression of lofty dignity that I shall never forget, he handed back the account without looking at it, saying, "The account is correct, sir." And as the cashier laboriously added it one column at a time he found that it was.

The book-keeper was master of the situation, and he was able to humiliate anybody who dared to question his work. And as I saw his satisfaction in the discomfiture of the cashier, I said to myself, Verily the enjoyment of a man's business is a legitimate part of the profits.

The enjoyment of my own business is a large share of the profits. I enjoy lecturing, and I enjoy examinations, because I know when I examine a head that I know more about it than the man who wears it, and that what I am about to say will do him more good than anything he ever heard in his life if he will heed it. And when some young man comes up to me in Texas, and shakes hands and thanks me for something he heard me say in a lecture in California, and another shows me his prosperity in Colorado, and draws out a chart I made for him in Missouri, telling him to enter that business, I enjoy it. And when I examine some diffident young lady and encourage her to learn accomplishments and show her the occupation she should follow, and years later I find her succeeding in all of them and developed into a grand self-sustaining woman, a mighty power for good in her neighborhood, I enjoy that. And when I give my professional sanction to the marriage of some brave young man and beautiful young woman, and later I find them surrounded by superb offspring, a good home and every indication of prosperity, and I see that the beauty of the wife has not faded, and that the husband is stronger and braver and more tender than he was, I enjoy that.

Commercial reports show that only a fraction over two per cent. of business enterprises are successful. The rest are failures because they are managed by men who do not possess the kind of sense required.

The question presents itself to every young man and woman at this moment: Will you be a success, or will you join the long, dismal procession of failures? If you really desire to succeed, you should first find out the true measure of your abilities. My delineation of your character is the surest guide, because it is the estimate placed upon your capacity, your quality, your temperament, your special development of sense, by an impartial friend, a skillful critic, guided by the light of science and a conscientious regard for your welfare.

In coming to me for examinations, come prepared to know the truth. I am not here to flatter you, nor am I here to ridicule or abuse your weaknesses. I have for many years enjoyed a magnificent practice, gained by strict candor and honesty with my patrons, who have long since learned that I spare no pains to know the facts, and knowing them I fear no consequences in relating them as they are.

I will tell you every element of your character as nature and circ.u.mstances have combined to develop them. I will not flatter you, but I promise you that I will find more good in you than you have ever found in your own organization, and I will tell you how to turn that good to the best practical account. I will describe your business qualities, and a.n.a.lyze them, showing you how to improve and correct them; and if you are in the proper business already, this knowledge will enable you to develop more perfect usefulness and strengthen your confidence for the future. If you are not in the right profession, trade or occupation, the sooner you find it the better, and make use of your opportunities. I will tell you the very best you can do, and prove it to you by reasons _seriatim_, and convince you that it will be as natural for you to succeed in that business as it is for a cork to swim, and for the same reason, because the law of nature commands that it should be so. Brain is money, character is capital, knowledge of your resources is the secret of success.

I wish to say a word to the ladies at this point. In this lecture I have used the term "man" in its generic sense, as the old preacher did when he announced that his congregation numbered two hundred and fifty brethren, and then qualified it by remarking that the brethren "embraced" the sisters. Phrenology discloses the fact that women have as many varieties of temperament, quality, capacity and size and special development of brain organs, as men. Every woman as well as every man is endowed with a certain line of talents, and when she enters her proper vocation she succeeds at it, no matter what it may be. Women have succeeded wherever men have, as rulers, as leaders of armies, as physicians, lawyers, in the world of commerce, in the shop, the factory, and on the farm. There is a great deal of bosh written and spoken about "woman's sphere." The proper sphere of every individual man or woman is in that line of work for which nature intended them, and for which they are endowed with the proper development of brain and brawn. And, ladies, when you come to me for examinations I shall be just and honest enough to tell you where you belong; and if I can find you something which will take you out of compet.i.tion with the Negroes and Chinamen I shall certainly do so.

To parents, also, I wish to say that this is the opportunity you must not neglect. You have no right to bring children into the world unless you are willing to promote their welfare and give them the best opportunities to enjoy whatever nature has endowed them with, in the nature of talent. Do not allow the trifling cost of an examination to stand in the way of obtaining this priceless knowledge, which will enable you to direct their growing minds into the channels which promise so much of usefulness, so much of health, happiness and financial prosperity.

Some parents have an idea that children are too young to be examined, and they make this excuse at every age, from one month to twenty years.

They seem to doubt our ability to impart valuable information about a child until the character is "developed." They lose sight of the true object of an examination, which is to determine _in what direction the child shall be developed_. The parent is often the architect of the child's fortunes, but what would we think of an architect who waited until the building was completed before he planned it? When the character is "developed," according to the idea of these people, the greatest advantage of an examination has been lost. We can tell the youth of twenty-one, or the business man of forty, what his talents are, and how they may best be employed, and how they may also be improved to the extent of that limited development which can be made after maturity by persistent effort; but in the case of the young and growing child the information given in time, is a thousand fold more valuable, because it is in that formative, plastic condition where it is like the clay of the potter in the hands of the skillful parent or teacher. And when parents ask me how young a child may receive the benefits of an examination, I answer as soon as you are able to bring them to me, the younger the better; and when you reflect upon the fact that more than half the children die in infancy, the value of competent phrenological advice may be appreciated. In thousands of cases I have warned parents of predispositions to disease in their little darlings, and enabled them to avoid the conditions which, in the absence of my advice, would have certainly destroyed the health and life of the little ones. Moreover, at an early age a defect may be easily overcome, which at a later period would ripen into a permanent deformity, such as defects of vision, color blindness, defects of speech, stammering, stuttering, lisping, defects of walk, and every other defect caused by a deficient development of brain organs.

To know with scientific accuracy the special talents of an individual in early youth, is to make his fortune. Without this knowledge much valuable time is lost by parent, teacher and pupil in useless experiments. With the knowledge which Phrenology imparts, intelligently acted upon, the development of a strong mind, sound body, brilliant accomplishments, splendid talents and successful business, is an a.s.sured fact, and the youth enters upon his early manhood fully equipped with everything which will enable him to accomplish a vast volume of good work, achieve financial success, and enjoy that happiness which can only come to the successful man.

Our rooms are open from 10 o'clock A. M. until 6 P. M. The reception room opens at 9, for the accommodation of those who wish to come early and be first served. Take your seat in the reception room, and I will reach you as rapidly as I can. I never hurry my work at the expense of thoroughness, and when I have a subject under my hands I tell him everything which will do him good, no matter how many others may be waiting. When it comes your turn you may expect the same courtesy. But I never waste time, and if you desire to ask any questions please have them written down, and I will answer them promptly and correctly. While you are in the reception room you will be elegantly entertained, and when I reach your case you may expect the best results which scientific knowledge, careful examination, lucid explanation, and a fraternal interest in your welfare can give.

To-morrow night I lecture on the soul-absorbing topic of Matrimony, at the conclusion of which lecture I shall examine several young ladies and select husbands for them from the audience.

Matrimony

[Ill.u.s.tration]

_LADIES AND GENTLEMEN_:--

As I stand committed, before the public, as the originator of a system of Matrimonial Selection and Creative Science, you have a right to demand of me that I shall present to you to-night a statement of something practical that will stand the test of your criticism. And I desire to say, in the outset, that in this lecture I shall endeavor to lift my subject above the plane in which it is ordinarily treated. I don't believe I ever announced a lecture on Matrimony, that I did not detect the ripple of a smile on the face of my audience, as if they regarded the whole subject as a huge practical joke, something wonderfully funny, on no account to be considered seriously.

Marriage is in fact a serious and a scientific problem, the solution of which may well engage the attention of the most profound intellects, and may well engage yours, because in its proper solution is embodied the advancement of society, the happiness of its members--nay, more, the salvation of the race itself; and yet it is, of all questions, most neglected. Young ladies and gentlemen reach maturity and marry without the first rudiments of knowledge in regard to the importance of the relation; in most cases in absolute ignorance of all the great physiological facts pertaining to conjugal selection and improvement of offspring, with little or no knowledge of the characters of either themselves or their consorts. The result is, what might be expected, a fruitful harvest of misery, crime, pauperism, disease, and death.

Occasionally circ.u.mstances produce a happy combination, and the result is a reasonably correct union in spite of ignorance; but such cases are so rare that they are like oases in the desert, and the subject of universal admiration and comment when they occur. The most casual observer notes, that unhappiness is the rule in the married state, and conjugal felicity the exception. A recent discussion of the question, "Is Marriage a Failure?" has brought out so many exhibitions of domestic misery that society is startled into a serious consideration of the question at last.

It is my purpose to show, in this lecture, that there is a sensible solution of this great problem. That whenever we bring to bear upon this question the same amount of scientific thought and reasoning common sense, that we display in all things pertaining to financial values, the results would be fully as satisfactory. I plead for Investigation; I ask for Knowledge; I beg for Candid Thought and Scientific Experimentation.

When I was lecturing in Kansas, some years ago, I had occasion to visit an old friend, a wealthy farmer, who had an interesting family of seven very marriageable daughters. And in conversation with me, the old gentleman expressed himself as greatly concerned about their matrimonial prospects. Knowing that I was investigating the scientific bearings of matrimony, he said to me, that if there was any light which I could throw upon the subject, which would aid him or his daughters in the selection of suitable husbands for them, he would consider himself under obligations to me for life. "But," said the old man, sadly, "it's no use, marriage is a lottery anyhow. If you draw a prize, well and good; if you draw a blank, you must make the best of it. You may lecture from now until doomsday and it won't do any good. When they fall in love, they're going to marry, and they won't listen to reason."

"Well, my friend," I replied, "I should regret to have to entertain or express the opinion of your daughters that you have just uttered. If I did so, I should consider you entirely justifiable in ejecting me from your premises. It is an insult to the intelligence of your daughters to a.s.sert that they would not display sense and reason in the selection of a husband, as in anything else, _if they had any knowledge upon which to act_. Let me ask you a few questions which will prove my position. I want to buy a valuable horse, could your daughters aid me in the selection of the animal?"

"Oh, yes," exclaimed my old friend, with evident pride, "my daughters know all about horses, sir. They have broken the most unruly colts that were ever raised on this farm. They can tell whether a horse is most suitable for draft, speed or breeding purposes, as soon as they look at him. They can tell how much it will take to feed him, and how far he can travel in a day without injury. My daughters are accomplished horsewomen, sir."

"Good," I answered, "valuable knowledge, sir, for young ladies to possess, especially if they expect to become farmer's wives. I also want to buy a valuable farm, could your daughters aid me in the selection of the property?"

"Certainly, sir," said the old gentleman, warming up with the subject, "my daughters have been instructed in all that pertains to scientific agriculture. They can not only select a good farm, from practical experience, but they have had scientific, theoretical training as well, under competent teachers. They can a.n.a.lyze the soil and tell you its chemical const.i.tuents, and they know what kind of soil is suitable for every crop you can name."

"Capital, sir; I rejoice to know that your daughters are so well informed, and have had such excellent instruction and advantages. I now wish to select a good man, can your daughters aid me now?"

"Ah!" said my old friend, sadly, "I see, sir, that you have us all at a disadvantage on that question. My daughters have been neglected in that branch of education, and with my sixty years of experience, I must also admit that I am incompetent to aid either you or my daughters in the selection of a _man_."

Here is the solution of the whole question. While the human race is interested in everything pertaining to literature, the arts, manufacture, commerce, religion, and science, the welfare of the race itself has been sadly overlooked. And the admission of my old farmer friend can well be made by all of you. And what I said to him in concluding our conversation, I now say to you. You have spent many hours in instructing your children in all that was desirable in literature, art, science, commerce, and religion. You have surrounded them with educational advantages; but you have neglected to instruct them on this vital topic of matrimony. You have treated it lightly or with indifference. You have left them in ignorance of the great social and physiological facts which surround it; and then you wonder when they marry upon blind impulse, and you call it lottery. Of course, they can't display judgment when they have no facts to exercise judgment upon. And you feel offended when your child marries contrary to your advice, when you have been exposing your ignorance to that child ever since it was able to comprehend anything. You set yourself up as an authority on this question, when your youngest baby is fully alive to the fact that you are a total ignoramus in regard to it.

For my part, I admire the spirit of the young man or woman who, realizing the discouraging failure of the old folks, starts out on a new line in obedience to one of nature's impulses, independent alike of paternal wrath or criticism. If such a one will consult the dictates of science in shaping and directing the impulse, the marriage will be much more likely to be happy, than those formed in deference to parental wishes, which, in a majority of cases, we regret to say, are dictated by merely prudential if not sordid reasons.

Before we discuss the main issue of our subject to-night, it may be interesting and instructive to ask: Why do people marry, anyhow? Did you ever think about that? There are a number of reasons, and we will discuss some of them.

A great many people marry because it is fashionable. They never stop to reason about it; they simply observe that nearly everybody else marries, and consequently they jump to the conclusion that it is the proper thing to do. Like most devotees of fashion in other things, they find it a very unprofitable investment.

A great many men marry, because they want a servant. That's unprofitable also. Young man, you can hire your washing and ironing done by a Chinaman, and live in a first-cla.s.s boarding house with much less expense. It don't pay.

Some women marry because they want a home, and they find--a penitentiary. I visited a state prison a few days ago, and I found inside the walls a lot of convicts that were having a much better time than some married people of my acquaintance.

A large number of men and women marry for money. That don't pay either in the long run. Young man, don't marry a hundred thousand dollars with a girl attached, because some of these days you'll find that the money has taken wings and flown away, and you'll have a girl on your hands, and you won't know what to do with her. Right here, I want to say to my friends who are disposed to look upon money as the most valuable of all things, that if you marry according to my instructions you will marry the conditions which produce money. To marry for money, or to marry a person who possesses a fortune for no other reason, is a monstrous wrong, sure to be punished.

Some refined people marry for beauty. The motive is correct as far as it goes, but in practice we find few people competent to judge of beauty, or to use it correctly. The result is, that most people make the mistake of marrying a fragment of beauty only, or they marry beauty which is not of the kind or quality available in their cases. A man falls in love with a pretty hand, a shapely figure, a handsome mouth, or a pair of beautiful eyes, and he finds upon the more intimate acquaintance of marriage that the _tout ensemble_ is far from being what he desired in a wife.

A young lady becomes enamoured of a magnificent specimen of physical manhood, but she finds to her sorrow that, notwithstanding his beauty, his whole character, in fact, is totally inharmonious with her own.

Some young ladies marry in a hurry, because they imagine that good husbands are going to be scarce in the future, and they live to wonder what a supply the market affords in later years. Young ladies, take my advice and be deliberate. There are going to be hundreds of good men after you are all grandmothers.

The real reason why people marry, is because it is natural to do so. It is in accordance with a law of nature. To understand this fully we must study natural history for a few moments. As we observe the various orders of plants and animals, we find that in the lower forms of life, in vegetable or animal, the male and female principles are embodied in one individual; and that individual, being entirely capable of reproducing the species to which he belongs, stands as a perfect representative of that kind or species. We observe, however, that in the higher orders of plants and animals, the male and female principles are separated--are embodied in two separate individuals, and it requires the union of two of these individuals of different s.e.x to reproduce the species, and it takes the two individuals, the male and female, to furnish us with a complete representation of that species.

Man is created in two parts, male and female, man and woman, and it requires the union of these two to reproduce the race, and to furnish us with the perfect specimen of the unit of humanity. The man or woman, considered separately, do not furnish us this complete ideal of humanity, but on the contrary each is incomplete without the other.

The conclusion which I wish you to draw from this argument is: that the old bachelor is only half of a man, which is a correct way of expressing his status in society. Why, my dear sir, you might as well expect to pull across the Atlantic Ocean in a water-logged skiff, with only one oar, and make a successful voyage of it, as to pull across the ocean of life without the help of a good woman. And I have my suspicions of the morals, as well as my contempt for the taste of a man, who can wander through this country and see as many bright eyes, ruby lips, rosy cheeks, and shapely figures, as one may encounter any day in the week, and who does not marry.

Marriage then may be regarded as the natural condition of every mature man and woman. And, because it is natural to marry, there is all the more reason why it should be carefully studied, and why the human race should learn to form marriages in accordance with Natural Law.

When we study Matrimony in the light of Science, we find that it is surrounded and governed by Natural Laws, as inevitable in their consequences as the law of gravitation, and that the marriage relation is happy or unhappy as these laws have been obeyed or broken.

To const.i.tute a perfect marriage, three great objects must be attained.

The absence of any one of these from the marriage will cause its ignominious failure. There must be