He left her. He left her on the dance floor, alone, and cold. The absence of his body was felt and she shivered. Alyssa glanced around at the happy couples, smiling and enjoying themselves, and here she was alone. She locked eyes with Diane, and she couldn't help but pour her pain into her. A sad smile plagued Diane's face and then she nodded her head to the side.

"Go," Diane mouthed.

Her feet took her out of the doors and down the stairs before she could process what she was doing. What would she say? What would she do? Alyssa had no clue. Her mind was numb to everything, except that she couldn't let this moment pass. She had to talk to Johnny. What the hell? He didn't even give her a chance.

She gripped the railing as she sped down the wide, spiraling stairs. She made sure not to fall as she watched each step she took into the lobby. Looking around, she stared down the empty hallway then to the double front doors. He wouldn't . . . It was his brother's wedding. Surely he didn't leave, right?

Trekking back upstairs, Alyssa stepped outside to the balcony where the cocktail hour was held. The beautiful ivy vines clung to the side of the building, the same place where John didn't leave her side.

"Where is he," she mumbled to herself. Following the path to the other side, Alyssa didn't see him. The slight chill in the fall air blew across her bare arms and she shivered. "Johnny . . . Where are you?" she asked herself. She checked the other side of the balcony, but he wasn't there either. Her shoulders dropped and sadness washed over her. He hadn't even given her a chance on the dance floor.

Maybe he was back in the reception hall? Alyssa stared at the ground as she made her way back to the door, defeat overpowering all her emotions when an arm snaked out and grabbed her. She yelped, and went to go scream but her mouth was covered by another.

What in the . . .

She knew those lips. That smell. Those hands holding onto her.

Johnny "I'll say it again if you need me to, if not, tell me to leave right now and I will. Tell me to take my hands off of you and I will. Tell me to never touch you again and I won't." He whispered against her lips. "God, Alyssa, it won't be easy, but I'll stop holding you, touching you, and I'll walk away if that's what you truly want in here." He placed his hand over her heart. "Seeing my brother and Livy tonight made me realize that one day I want that with you. I want us and if you can't do it, if you don't see more for us, I need to know so I can stop pushing for something that isn't there for you. I'll never stop loving you. That, I will not do."

She nodded.

"Yes?" he pulled back. His heart stopped. Ice cold shock ran through him. His face dropped along with his arms and he stepped back. "Okay. If that's what you want. I can't force this on you and I won't."

As he stepped to leave, Alyssa stopped him.

"Johnny." He stopped walking but didn't turn around to her. "Yes . . . I meant yes, for you to say it again," her voice shook in the dark. John turned his head slightly, and then stopped.

Stalking toward her, he slid his hands along her neck and tipped her head back so she could meet his unwavering gaze. Yanking her to him, he pressed his hips into hers with force. His body ached for her. He wanted nothing more than to slide into her and call it a day. His fingers tangled in her soft locks, twisting his finger around.

"Alyssa, I can't go back and forth with you. I know I said I would, but I just can't anymore, and I'm sorry for that. I tried . . . I tried so hard. It's either you want me, or you don't. I want all of your heart, not just a fraction of it. Like I said, either way I'll be there for Brooke. It's up to you. But once we start this, that's it. Got it? No more friends with benefits shit. You're mine and I'm yours."

"I got it." She nodded her head feverously.

"So what's it going to be? You're making a man wait and it's hard as hell on me, sweetheart."

"You. I want you, I want us. I want a man who's going to love all of mestretch marks, broken family and allsomeone who can love me at my worst, even when I'm being a stubborn bitch. I want a man who will love my daughter as his own . . . and you do Johnny. You do that and so much more. You're a father to Brooke, and that means more to me than anything in the world."

His eyes grew dark, his lips an inch away from hers. "I am her father, Alyssa."

"You are. You really are." She choked up. John was Brooke's father in every sense of the word.

"So, this is it. No going back." John couldn't stop the grin on his face. "No going back. Because I don't know if I could deal with having you, then not again."

"How can you not hate me after everything?"

John pulled back as if he'd been slapped. "How can I hate you when I love you so much?"

Tears filled her eyes and she smiled so big her cheeks hurt. "No going back." Alyssa stood on her tiptoes and pressed her mouth to his, breathing in his goodness. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she slanted her head and kissed him hard. John rolled his body into hers and lifted her up into his arms. She looked incredible sexy in her black satin dress, but John couldn't wait to rip it off and make her fully his, heart and all.

Alyssa loosened up into him, and John used the opening to slide his tongue along the seam of her parted lips. His tongue met hers, but this time it was different. The kiss itself was different because they were fully devoted to each other now, heart and soul. No going back. Warmth spread throughout his body and they moaned into each other, their kissing picking up speed as they devoured each other like it was their last night on earth. Alyssa was his, all of his.

"I'm yours, Johnny. Forever. You're my family now. You and Brooke. It's us against the world."

"I love you, honey."

"And I love you. I should've told you the first time you said it to me."

He angled his head, and she answered. "The night of the accident. We'd just returned from the hospital and were lying in my bed. I regretted never saying it back since that day."

He kissed her forehead. "Say it again, and you're forgiven."

"I love you, Johnny." Her eyes lit up, finally showing the sparkle he'd been working for.

"Once more for good measure."

She looked deep in his eyes. "I love you so much."

He grinned so big she felt his happiness. "We should probably head back into my brother's wedding."

Alyssa nodded her head and tried to suppress her grin but failed miserably. John was a sweet talking, rough around the edges, country boy. Who'd ever guess that the city girl in her would fall so hard? "Do you think they'll notice we've been gone so long?"

"Nah. It's not really about us tonight, so I doubt it."

But it really was.

Alyssa and John were inseparable for the rest of the night. At times they held Brooke and danced with her, but when it slowed down it was just the two of them. Diane didn't mind staying back with her daughter while they fell more in love with each other. John never took his eyes off her, proving how much he loved her and how much he wanted her.

He made her whole.

Tonight was a revelation. She had a guy who loved her and her daughter with no reservation. Most men considered babies to be baggage, but John jumped right on board as if it was meant to be.

And maybe it was.

Yesterday may be gone but tomorrow was a new day. It was her, Brooke, and Johnny, together at last, just like it should have been all along. What had Olivia once told her? Life is a wild and unruly path, there will be bumps and mountains along the way, but having your other half with you makes it easier. No one knew the outcome, everything happens for a reason. And while she never believed that before, she did now.

The drive down to South Fork was quiet and somber this particular day. Brooke had long fallen asleep in the backseat of his truck and Alyssa sat next to John with her feet propped up on the dashboard with the seat laid back. His thumb circled her open palm while her other hand rested on her growing belly, her hair billowing in the wind as she stared at the passing trees.

She was pregnant with his baby, a boy.

Four years since Jace left this world, and not a single day went by that he didn't miss his friend. His death was still raw and it never completely vanished, only lessened to a dull ache.

John was still holding on after all this time. He found himself visiting Jace's Facebook page often just to look at old photos and videos and relive the good times they had together. He'd scroll through posts and read each one, sometimes even dropping a line on the page himself. He knew he should stop, but he couldn't.

Once things settled down, Alyssa went back to college at nights and earned a degree in nursing. It wasn't something she'd ever thought she'd do career wise, but she'd told John she wanted a job that would always be in demand. He knew her need to have stability in her career rested heavily on her upbringing. After speaking with Olivia many times as what to expect in the nursing filed, Alyssa was set to take her registered nursing licenses in a few months, right before their baby was born.

John let up on the gas a little, his heart slowing as he came up to the place that cost Jace his life. A presence surrounded him, guarding him. It was the same feeling that appeared when he did nine months of deployment in Iraq this past year where an explosion happened just a couple of feet away from him. His life flashed before his eyes-again-that day and knew he'd been spared because of Jace.

Each time he came down to South Fork, he was forced to pass the tree that took his friend's life, and each time he watched the accident play out before him. The tree now had a rope of silk flowers wrapped around it that had faded due to the sun and right next to it was his remembrance cross with fresh flowers that Maryanne replaced every couple of weeks.

Why . . . he gulped, the tears already resting on his lids. Why did he have to go? Why did that tree have to be there? If only he hadn't reached for his cell. If only Alyssa hadn't called Jace like John had asked her to. The same questions played through his mind every time. If only he could turn back time.

If only.

John wiped his eyes and looked in the rearview mirror at the white cross shaped sign behind him. His chest tightened, his heart ached for his friend.

"Rest in peace, buddy," he whispered.

A few minutes later, he was stepping out of the truck. John went around to the passenger side and helped Alyssa out. She wasn't far along in her pregnancy, but he loved watching her belly grow with his son. He spoiled her and showered her with love every minute of the day. Reaching into the back, he lifted a sleeping Brooke to his chest then closed the door.

"Daddy?" she said groggily.

John rubbed her back. "Shhhh. Let mommy hold you for a minute."

"No," she wined, and threw her arms around his neck. He shrugged. Brooke was a daddy's girl through and through.

"Ready?" Alyssa asked and John nodded.

"Well then, come on, baby, let's go see Jace," she said, and slipped her hand into his. She always seemed to know when he needed her most without having to say a word.

Damn, he loved that girl.

Hand in hand, they strolled down the aisle passing dozens of headstones. The overgrown grass tickled his ankles and his heartbeat hammered against his ribs as they reached Jace McConnell. The last time he visited this spot he poured Jace a drink and sobbed on the spot. He hadn't been back since and he despised himself for that, but he couldn't bring himself to come back just yet.

"Take a breath." Alyssa squeezed his hand, giving him courage.

Stopping in front of Jace's headstone, the rush of emotions flowing through John took him by surprise. He wasn't expecting to cry, but he couldn't stop it from happening. The tears poured out and Alyssa embraced him. After four years, he still couldn't believe what happened to Jace. Would he ever be able to get over it? Maybe many years from now, maybe not. Only time would tell.

"Want me to give you some alone time with him?" Alyssa asked quietly.

Looking down, he saw the depth of love in her eyes, her sincerity, and her strength. Alyssa had been with him when Jace was in the accident. She had felt his pain and stayed by his side that night. She belonged with him right now. He needed her.

"No, I want you here with me."

John exhaled and handed Brooke over to Alyssa. She fussed so John took off his tags and handed them to her. Brooke gripped them in her hand then rested her head on Alyssa's shoulder where she dozed off.

Crouching down he said, "Hey, buddy. How you doin'? It's been awhile, and I apologize for that. It's been a rough few years . . . so I stayed away. I wish I could give you a bullshit story why I haven't been back, but the fact is I haven't been able to let go. Your death still hurts all the time." John sighed, the guilt hitting him harder than ever.

"I know Ford hasn't been back in a few years since he lives in Tennessee now, so I figured I'd give you the low down on him. Can you believe he snagged an older woman? Remember how he loved his girls younger with wide hips? Well, this one is the complete opposite. He said she's a cougar," John laughed and heard Alyssa snicker. "I almost don't believe it myself."

Sobering, John grew serious. "So, I know the last time I was here I brought you a drink." He looked up at Alyssa with glossy eyes and mouthed, "I'll explain later." He turned his head back to the marble lettering and stared at them. "I don't have a drink this time, but I have something even better." He took a deep breath. "My son is growing inside of Alyssa and we're going to name him Jace. After you. We both felt like it was right, like it was meant to be."

A knot clogged his throat and he struggled to get the words out. He made a vow to himself to come and visit Jace more. No more excuses.

"Man, I wish I wasn't sitting here talking to a piece of stone. I wish you could be here right now. What I wouldn't give to go back to that night and do it all over again." He shook his head, closing his eyes. "Had I known this would've happened, I would've done everything in my power to stop you from getting in your truck. A little piece of me died with you that night and I haven't been able to let go. I haven't been ready to say goodbye, to accept everything. By doing so I felt like I was saying goodbye to you forever and I hate that feeling. I hate it because I don't ever want to say it." Standing up, he reached blindly for Alyssa's hand. "But today, I think I'm ready. It's weird, I'm ready but I'm not . . ."

Taking one last long breath, John looked up at the clear sky and exhaled.

Life worked in mysterious ways. It's unwritten. No one knew what was ahead of them, but John learned to live in the moment and have no regrets, because tomorrow it could all be gone in the blink of an eye and you can't ever get it back. John missed Jace deeply and always would. The longing for his friend would never go away, but John knew somewhere that Jace was looking down and watching over them. He'd never forget him or the memories they shared, those would always be with him and nothing could take those away. He'd savor them until his time was up here.

"You're always with me. Until then, this is our last goodbye."

If you or a loved one is suffering with grief and need someone to talk to, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Lifeline is a 24-hour hotline dedicated to emotional distress. No matter what problem you're dealing with, small or big, their trained crisis workers are there when you're in need. You don't have to be alone.

First and foremost, I need to thank my husband. Each night I sit at the computer for hours on end and sometimes into the early morning typing away. You don't nag me to death and ask me questions about my stories-which you know I have a difficult time answering. You don't read over my shoulder, or beg to read every sentence I write-which you know I don't like. You just roll with the tide and let me do what I want and never complain. For that, I love you so much more. Having your support means more to me than anything. And my two amazing boys who will probably never read this, thank you for always wanting to play outside so I can write. You boys are the light of my life, the coral of the ocean. I aspire to be better for both of you.

Nadine Winningham. Woman extraordinaire. I've tried over and over to write this only to delete it each time. Truth is, there are no right words that can express how much I appreciate everything you do. You've been my biggest supporter since the beginning. Not just encouraging me, but teaching me so much at the same time. You're an amazing person inside and out, and I feel so grateful having you as my friend as well as my editor now. I knew there was no one else other than you who could shine this story up the way you could. You understand "Lucia speak" and can read my mind. It's kind of scary! You're stuck with me forever, so don't try running off on me. Thank you for everything!

Alyssa "hype killer" West, I'm not sure where to begin with you. There are so many things I want to say, but I'll start with the most important one-being a real friend. Between our 7am phone calls, crazy text messages, book talk, mailing teas to each other, your hilarious sarcasm, to getting matching haircuts, you are such an amazing friend. You aren't afraid to hurt my feelings and that means a lot to me. Thank you for all the insane feedback you did. You went above and beyond more than anyone I've ever seen before and I could never thank you enough. You're wild and crazy and I love it.

Alyssa West, Roxie Madar, Anne Woodall, Trisha Rai, Amanda Hootie Click, Tammy McGowan, Melissa Devita, and Melissa Webster, my incredible betas, if it wasn't for your feedback, John and Alyssa's story would not be what it is today. Each one of you brought something different to the table that made a big difference in the long run. The end result is exactly what I envisioned, and I have you to thank for that. I am forever grateful for the time and effort you put in to reading for me. Thank you all a million times over!

Authors Corinne Michaels and Gabbie S. Duran, thank you for being patient with me and answering every question I had involving the Military and the kind of lifestyle our real life heroes lead. I'm sure I drove you ladies crazy by asking the same questions over and over, but it means so much that you were willing to help me so I got it right.

My Indie author friends, Claire Contreras, Micalea Smeltzer, RE Hunter, Beth Ehemann, and J.A. Dueron, all of you were there when I had questions, had to vent or just needed a good laugh. I'm so lucky to have you ladies in my life.