"That's because I don't normally see you during the week. I also didn't want to stress you out while you're training either. I just figured I'd wait until the time was right. I was just thinking of you."

"Stress me out? There's a beautiful baby girl in there," he said, angrily pointing to the living room, "that could be mine and you were going to wait until it was the right time? Who gives you the decision to decide that? You should have told me the moment you got the letter, Alyssa."

John breathed heavily, an angry tick working in his jaw. Hell, he had every right to be upset. How could she not tell him the moment she got the results? Knowing how much he cared for them, how much he'd done for her and she just kept it a secret? That was a low blow.

"You're twisting my words and taking them out of context. You're acting like I was never going to tell you. How could you think so low of me? That hurts, John," tears burned the back of her eyes. "I was waiting for the weekend, that's all."

Alyssa strolled past John and headed for Brooke. She scooped her up and hugged her while walking into the nursery. She changed her into pajamas as John stood by the entire time, watching silently. What could he say? What could she say? Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Alyssa looked at John, tears heavy in her eyes, her lips in a firm tight line.

"Just give me a few minutes to put her to sleep and we'll open the letter."

John nodded, strolling back to the couch. He took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to desperately get his emotions under control. He was stewing, his thoughts running wild.

Sitting down on the couch, he leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. He popped his knuckles in each hand and cracked his neck and then placed his head in his hands. He was brewing, but somewhere deep down he knew she wouldn't have kept it from him. How could she? Nevertheless, it still bothered him that she did for the past couple of days after all they've been through. She should've had the decency to let him at least know it came and then they would decide when to open it.

Alyssa stepped into the living room taking John out of his thoughts. "She's already asleep?"

"Yes." She took a deep breath.

Alyssa grabbed the envelope. Her heart was beating so hard it hurt. The back of her neck was clammy and her stomach was churning with nausea. She'd never been so nervous in all her life. The black inked envelope between her fingers held her daughter's future, and that is what scared her most.

Would John leave if he wasn't the father?

Would he think differently of her?

Would he tell her to leave?

Would he have regrets? Did he have them now?

If Ben was the father, would she be able to get full custody of Brooke?

Would he still feel the same way about Brooke?

So many thoughts were running through her head and she was thinking the worst case scenario. She was working herself up into a panic attack at this rate.

Stepping back into the living room, John had his arms propped behind his head staring up at the ceiling. At the sound of her, he looked over and straightened.

Alyssa released a loud breath and swallowed. "Ready?"

Before she could say another word, John placed a hand on hers. He looked into her frightened eyes and said, "I'm sorry for lashing out. You have just as much going on as I do, but I want you to know this doesn't change a thing. That paper won't change anything between us. I'm always going to be here, okay?"

Her eyes watered. "Okay, but . . ." she stammered. "But why?"

John took a deep breath. She needed to hear this before she opened the envelope. "Because I want to. There is nothing I've wanted more in my life than to be her father. The moment I saw that baby, Alyssa, I was wholly hers. That was it." He swiped his hands as if washing them clean. "I think I was hers since your pregnant belly . . ." he laughed wretchedly. "Aside from promising God over and over that I'd do anything to bring Jace back, I would do anything for her and you, too. I mean it. I love her. She's too cute not to love."

A tear trickled down her cheek as shaky hands flipped over the envelope. She tasted the saltiness as she slipped a finger underneath, slowly ripping the letter open. Her stomach was doing back flips and her mouth was dry as sandpaper. John didn't look over her shoulder or breathe down her neck, he just sat stoically as she took her time.

She flipped the top half up, then the bottom half down. John felt like everything was going in slow motion.

This was the moment of truth.

Alyssa's eyes were blurry with tears as she read the intro and scanned the fine print. She looked over the chart where it showed a match in her and her daughter, and then to where the probability of John and Ben being Brooke's father. Being that Ben was in jail, his mouth was swabbed and his DNA was collected and put into the system months ago.

There were two more papers, one for Brooke and John, the other for Brooke and Ben. Her breathing deepened, her chest dipping in and out fast as it burned with each breath. Her whole body was shaking. She swiped away the wetness under her eyes and read the results again making sure she read correctly and wasn't seeing things.

She wasn't.

Alyssa sat motionless. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she was barely breathing as the paper slipped through her fingers and floated to the floor like a feather.

"Alyssa?" John said softly. He went to rub her back, but she stood before he could and walked into another room. Were they happy tears or sad tears?

Reaching down, John picked up the results and read his destiny.

Judging by the feeling in his gut, he was so sure Brooke was his that he didn't need to read the paper, but he did. In fact, he almost didn't want to. He didn't need a paper to prove it.

Brooke . . . Was not his.

Not his . . . What?

How could this be?

The results had to be wrong. The probability was wrong, it had to be. He was going to demand another test, because that baby was hisin his heart and in the flesh. Every time he looked at his little cupcake, his heart softened at her slobbery smile.

John was sick to his stomach. There was no way this was right.

Glancing up at Alyssa, tears pooled in her eyes. He didn't want to see her cry, but at the moment he was too heartbroken over the results that he couldn't console her. He should be fuming, but he was hurting too. Devastation hit him hard, almost as bad as when Jace died. It felt like the same thing; his heart being ripped from his chest with a bare hand over something that could never be changed. The ache that took residence in him hurt like a mother fucker. Why did Ben have to be the father? How was this fair? Life was so unfair-and unpredictable.

Damn it all to hell, he wanted Brooke to be his so fucking bad. And yet, that was his life, always playing a joke on him. Why couldn't this one thing work in his favor? Why couldn't Brooke be his daughter? John read the results again making sure he wasn't seeing things. He might not have been present for her birth, but he was there for everything else he could be. He clothed her, fed them, and sheltered them. Didn't that count for something?

"I'm sorry," Alyssa said, breaking his thoughts. Maybe it was a good thing she spoke up since his thoughts were going in a wayward direction.

All John could do was gnash his teeth and not speak a word. Fuck! What could he say? It's okay? That the daughter he thought was his wasn't in fact his ever to begin with? It was like a fucking knife to his chest.

He closed his eyes. "Alyssa, please. I just need a moment."

John stood from the couch and made his way to Brooke's nursery, a room he paid for gladly. Glancing down at her sleeping form, he looked at this beautiful baby girl who had no idea what was going on in the world. Her ivory skin was flawless, free of worry as she sucked her thumb. John knew not to wake a sleeping baby, but in this moment, he had to hold Brooke. He had to feel her baby soft skin against his, otherwise he was going to break.

Lowering the front side of the crib, John reached down for his daughter . . .

Brooke wasn't his little cupcake. Not his. Jesus Christ. The searing pain he felt in his gut just thinking those words hit him hard. He was breaking over the results. Why should Ben be granted rights to this precious baby and not him? His life was so unfair.

Gently, John slid his fingers carefully under Brooke's chest and lifted her from her butterfly printed sheets. He quickly grabbed the pacifier, then cradled a stirring Brooke to his chest. Her eyes cracked open and her fingers ran over his chest blindly looking for his tags. Once in her grip, she nestled in the crook of his arm, a light sigh, and then fell back asleep.

Brooke was his daughter. He didn't care what any paper said.

Actually, screw what the paper said. Brooke. Was. His.

Leaning down, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. He inhaled her sweet scent and closed his eyes savoring the moment. He could hear Alyssa's silent sobs, sobs he knew she was fighting because he was fighting them too. A small gasp had him looking over his shoulder. His chest ached at the sight of her. Tears streamed down her rosy cheeks. Her eyes expressed the depth of her pain and remorse.

Possessiveness rolled through him like thunder. He vowed in that moment to never let anything happen to either of them. He was going to step in more and become a father figure to Brooke.

He whispered, "Brooke is mine, Alyssa. I don't care what that paper says." She burst into tears, but there was no way he could comfort her now, he was dealing with his own grief.

He kissed Brooke's curly hair and then placed her back on the mattress.

Once she was sleeping, John and Alyssa made their way to her bedroom.

Shutting the door he spun around.

"Ben doesn't deserve to be her father. She's too precious. She's goodness, she's light on a dreary day, and she's a gift. I want her."

Alyssa lowered her eyes. "You don't have to assume responsibility. Or even help. I honestly don't know why you would want to now."

"I know I don't."

"Then why are you trying to?"

"I just want what's best for her. I care about that little girl and that scumbag never getting his hands on her or you, again." He took a deep breath. "Do you trust me?"

Alyssa hesitated.

"Jesus Christ, Alyssa." He was baffled at her hesitation. How could she not trust him all of a sudden? As if he would do anything to harm Brooke. "How much more do you think I can take tonight?"

Her shoulders were bunched tight. John knew this wasn't easy on her either. "I trust you, I'm just scared, Johnny-"

"Don't Johnny me. Don't think for one second I don't want Brooke because of what some paper says. The moment I set my eyes on her in your arms I wanted her. Why can't you comprehend that? I love that baby!" he spat. He was on the brink of tears himself.

Why didn't he just walk away? This was his chance to leave, that's what Alyssa didn't understand. Why did John insist on carrying all this baggage now when he didn't have to?

Silence infiltrated the room. "It's not that I can't comprehend it, but I feel like you only want her because of all that you put in. Like you feel obligated now."

"No one is forcing my hand. I just want to be in her life," he enunciated each word. "That's all I'm saying," he grasped her arms looking into her eyes. "Don't you see that?"

Alyssa was in a state of disbelief. It was almost too good to be true. "Knowing that you're not her biological father, you could leave at any given moment. That's not fair to Brooke! Me, I can handle it, but Brooke? No, it's not fair! She's just a baby. She'll get attached easily and I don't know if I can handle that."

Quietly, he said, "So you're saying if I walked out of your life right now, that you wouldn't care one bit? After everything?"

Of course she would care, life would suck without her best friend, the other half of her, but she couldn't afford to care.

So she sucked it up and lied.

"No, I wouldn't. I'm pretty numb to everything these days, except Brooke."

"Right . . . you keep telling yourself that. But if that's how you feel, then I'm out of your life, but don't think for one second I'm out of Brooke's."

How could she trust John to always be there and not just in this moment? "What if you had a child of your own one day? Are you just going to up and leave?"

She needed to protect herself, but more importantly, she needed to protect her daughter.

"Last time I checked you have no legal rights to her. So don't tell me what you're going to do when it comes to my daughter."

Talk about turning the fist in his chest that was slowly pulling out his heart. After everything, after all they'd been through he was being gutted by her cruel words. He thought he could handle just about anything at this point, but Alyssa throwing his not so legal daughter in his face? This was a totally different scenario.

"You're a cold hearted bitch, you know that?"

"Tell me something Ben hasn't already told me."

The effervescent blue in her eyes faded, all the blood draining from her face. That's not what he wanted to say. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, but he was hurting himself and didn't know the right way to handle it.

John grunted "I don't understand you right now. Would you rather Brooke not have a father at all? Do you not want my help now? What is it? That paper means nothing, Alyssa. You know damn well it doesn't."

"It's not about that."

Shaking his head, he said, "Are you waiting for that low life to be released to give him another chance? Is that it? Because I swear to God, Alyssa, I will kill him. I will slaughter him if he comes anywhere near you and Brooke."

Alyssa shivered. Dear God that was the last thing she wanted. "No," she whispered.

"Then what is it? Because I can't figure out why you're so against me all of a sudden."

Alyssa turned and sat on her bed. Staring at her paisley green comforter she said, "I just don't want you to walk out when times get tough, because there will be tough times. What if you have a girlfriend and she suddenly becomes your priority? What if you get tired of playing house? What if you have a baby one day? I couldn't bare my daughter going through separation pain. So, I'll protect her from the start of it all." Alyssa placed a hand over hear heart. "Do you see where I'm coming from now?"

John sighed. Propping against the dresser in the darkening room, he looked at the cracked blinds. The shadows drew bar like images on the floor, representing the prison she just bound him to. Alyssa was locking him out.

"So you're not going to give me a chance all of a sudden? Really, Alyssa? After everything? Haven't I proven myself to you?"

Glancing up, she locked eyes with John. Her heart was heavy and tired. It wasn't about proving himself.

"Yes, you have, John, but I can't help worry that something else might come your way and steer your priorities since now you have no legal claim to her. It would be so easy for you to up and leave . . . and I'm truly scared of that."

Pushing against the dresser, John made his way to Alyssa and cupped the sides of her face.

"Please, don't shut me out. Just give me a chance. That's all I'm asking for, a chance. Let me show you I'm not going anywhere," he begged. He wasn't sure if he could take her shutting him out.

"I thought you were her father. I felt it in my bones, in my heart. Why did we have to go and get that stupid test done?" she began to cry. "I wished we hadn't . . ."

John stroked her tear soaked cheeks. What did he have to do to get through to her? "Sweetheart, that paper means nothing to me," he said. "And it should mean nothing to you."

"But it does. I can't ignore it."

"Don't shut me out . . . I don't know if I could handle it."

"I'll try not to, but Johnny, I can't help it. The mama bear in me comes out. I feel the need to protect my baby."

"Our baby."

Her watery eyes snapped to his and he repeated what he said. "Our baby. She should've been ours by blood . . ."

"Johnny," she whispered. "I'm so scared. I feel so lost . . ." she wasn't sure how much more her shoulders could hold. She threw her arms around John's neck and cried on him.