"I know she promised something big to get you playing like that. But she wouldn't say what it was." He laughed his dirty old man laugh.

"Don't be an idiot," I told him. There was no doubt I would have been a lot happier this summer if I'd actually been having sex with Kelly. But not having sex was nothing compared to wondering what she was doing with the asshole. This whole summer had been torture.

I started thinking about the last thing she had said to me. "You might want to ask yourself if we would have won without him."

What did that mean? I turned the phrase over in my mind. Then it hit me. I hadn't been playing well lately, and Kelly had deliberately manipulated me into playing my best game in front of Frechette. Everything she'd said during the game had goaded me on to even greater heights. It was a plan worthy of Machiavelli.

It was also devious and cruel. Not qualities I'd ever associated with Kelly, but she'd probably do anything to win a hockey championship. I began to wonder if I really knew Kelly, and how much she had changed in our time apart.

25.

The First Move

I was all packed for my weekend with Jimmy. We were flying up to Kelowna with Tyler and his girlfriend. Once we got there we were staying at the big lakeside cabin of another teammate, Ian MacEwan. Much to Jimmy's dismay, I hadn't gone to any team events yet, and he wanted me to meet the people I'd hang out with if I moved there. He assured me that I'd love Maddy, Mac's girlfriend.

I felt guilty. Today was the day I was supposed to make up my mind about the dating game. But Jimmy had surprised me by flying into town last night to see my game and then suggested this trip so I had agreed. Meeting some possible new friends could only help my decision, right? And I owed Jimmy for providing the extra motivation for last night's win.

For therapy, I went for an early run. I was heading for the shower when there was a knock on the door.

Much to my surprise, Phil was there. Although he was a pretty casual guy, he never dropped by anymore. I wasn't sure if this was because he was too busy or he didn't want to run into Jimmy. Besides, I knew Phil was mad at me-for the game and for not coming out afterwards.

"Come in," I said. "I'm kind of stinky, though. I just got back from my run."

A half-smile appeared on his face. "Hey, you don't have to tell me. I sit next to you at hockey."

"That's my gear," I explained lamely. Of course, the smell on my gear came from me. "You want something to drink?"

"It's okay. I'm on my way to work," he said. He was dressed in business casual.

"Look, Kelly, I've been thinking." Phil paused. My body tensed; his voice was so flat and serious. His hazel eyes were intense and searching. What was he thinking?

He continued, "I don't really want to do this thing with you anymore. There's a bunch of reasons. It's important for my career that I focus on work right now, and we're insanely busy."

I blinked and waited for him to keep explaining. I wasn't even sure what he was talking about; I only knew from his tone it was bad news.

"But mainly, it's you, Kelly. You're not the person you used to be, and I really don't think I want to be with this person."

"What? What're you talking about?"

"This whole dating game shit. It's cruel, and right from the beginning it was obvious that someone was going to get hurt. It's like you think you're better than normal people, and guys should let you walk all over them. The Kelly I knew was all about kindness. She spent half an hour looking for a raccoon she thought she'd injured with the car. Now you'd probably run right over it and not look back."

I shook my head. Was this what he really thought of me? "That's not true at all," I protested.

"Whatever. You know, I thought this whole thing would last a couple of weeks. I figured you'd come to your senses, and we could pick up where we left off. I never thought you'd get your head turned by a guy who has money, but who had treated you like something disposable. Maybe it's because he's in the NHL. Hockey's always turned your crank. Anyway, the longer it's gone on, the more painful it's been. So, I'm manning up. I don't want to play anymore."

"I'm so sorry. I think it's taken me so long because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings."

He stood up and gave me another half-smile. There was an odd expression on his face. "But you have, Kelly. See you."

He walked quietly out of the room, and I didn't even hear the front door close. I walked numbly into the shower and turned it on, letting the water run all over me. How could I have been so stupid? I had been so miserable and angst-ridden that I hadn't even noticed what I was doing to Phil, and to Jimmy as well. I had been mean and self-centered, and I deserved everything that Phil had dumped on me. I showered until the hot water ran out, then I got dressed in a daze.

When Jimmy came to pick me up, I was sitting on the couch-doing absolutely nothing.

He took one look at my face and grabbed me by the shoulders. "Kelly? What's wrong?"

"Do you hate me? For taking so long to make up my mind?"

"Hate you? Of course not." He pursed his lips. "I wish you would decide though."

I leaned my head against his solid chest. "Phil came over this morning and told me what a horrible person I was to do this whole thing. He said I was cruel and he hated like people like that. He said he was through with all this shit."

"Aww, Kelly, he's an idiot. I always thought he was, but when I saw him play last night I was sure of it. He plays selfish."

I shook my head. "He doesn't always play that way. He was in a bad mood."

"Hockey's not like that. You need to put aside your personal issues when you get to the rink and play your best. He only passed to you once-I would have set you up every chance I got. It was a championship."

"If it was a real championship, you would be taking all the shots. You're a way better shooter than me."

"Well, this is all hypothetical anyway. But, wait-" Jimmy held me at arms length and looked at me through narrowed eyes. "So, he dropped out?"

I nodded.

A huge smile broke across his face. "Then I win!"

Well, I guess he did. Again, I'd been too busy in my personal pity party to think about the bigger picture. After all this time, the decision wasn't even made by me. Jimmy kissed me, really kissed me this time. He cradled my cheeks and kissed all over my face. I tried to relax into his touch.

"Wait. Does this bother you? The way things turned out?" I asked Jimmy. Was my being with him diminished by the way it happened?

He laughed. "Not one bit. We belong together, and I knew you'd get it eventually. The guy dropped out because he could see it coming. I've seen that happen a million times."

I pondered that idea. It was certainly true that Phil had never lost at anything-sports, school, or relationships.

Jimmy pulled me into his lap and enveloped me in his strong arms. "I've known you were going to choose me since Toronto."

"Really? That was a month ago." I hadn't known. I felt so guilty about what had happened, that I kept trying to find ways to make things up to Phil. Maybe I had been ignoring all the signals that I was drawn magnetically to Jimmy.

I was still worried though. First, if I hadn't fooled around with Jimmy, would that have affected my decision? And secondly, deciding by default seemed like I wasn't really in charge of the process-which was what I wanted in the first place.

Jimmy was already in planning mode. "This is fantastic, Kelly. Now we can do stuff together before the season starts. We can relax back home, and maybe have a few days away. When are you going to move to Chicago?"

I hadn't thought about any of this logistical stuff. "I'll have to give notice at work. Cheryl will need at least two weeks to replace me. And I promised to clear out my stuff from my parent's place. April will have to find a new roommate. Oh, I guess I'll have to ship stuff too." I started to feel a little stressed and panicked about my to do list. This was going to be a huge change.

He noticed my panic attack and gave me a big squeeze. "Kelly, everything's going to be fine. I can help you take care of stuff like shipping. If your rent is an issue, I can cover that too." He pulled something out of his pocket. "I know you've been stressing over what you're going to do once you're in Chicago, and I found this broadcasting school that's perfect. I asked one of the team media people for a recommendation."

He handed me an envelope. I opened it, and there was a colourful brochure inside. The photos were completely lame, but the program seemed to be very hands-on and technical, which was exactly what I needed. They promised lots of industry contact too. "Oh, thanks a lot. This looks great."

"The best part is that the class schedule is pretty light. You only go three days a week, and not even full days. So we'll have lots of time together, and you won't have to miss any games."

I laughed and started to calm down a little. "That's the main thing, right? Not missing any games."

He stroked my hair. "I want you to be at all the games. I play better when you're there."

"But I've only been to a few of your games." He wasn't superstitious, but he certainly had some fixed ideas.

I finished reading through the brochure and looked at the attached letter. "Holy shit. The tuition is over $8000. There's no way."

"Kelly, I'll loan you the money. You can pay me back when you get a job."

"If I get a job. The best I could do in Canada was receptionist, and I didn't even need a green card or whatever they're called. I still haven't paid my first set of student loans. Crap."

"Let's get one thing straight here. I understand you're giving up your job to move in with me. When you move in, money is gonna be a fact of life. I make a lot of money, and I don't want to have to argue with you every day. So, could you please accept the fact that money is something that I can contribute to the relationship?"

I laughed and ran my hand up his chest. "It's not all that you can contribute."

His eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly. "Kelly, you've been to Kelowna before, right?"

I nodded.

"Let's skip this whole weekend deal."

"What? You wanted me to meet all your friends, especially Maddy."

He ran his hands up my waist until his thumbs rubbed against the sides of my breasts. "Things have changed. Now all I want is to be alone with my girl."

"Oh. Okay."

He kissed me, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. He cupped my ass and squeezed hard. "Oh God," I gasped.

"Is April home?" he asked.

"Um, yeah." Incredibly, she had slept through huge dramatic scenes with not one but two of the men in my life. And that was the kind of thing she lived for.

"Give me your suitcase. We're going back to my place-for the rest of the weekend."

I nodded, too confused with desire to say anything else.

He grabbed my hand, and we ran out the door.

26.

Sex and Drugs

James

I won! Finally. Not that I really had any doubts, but lately Kelly made me wonder if I should have even agreed to the stupid dating game. But all the waiting was going to make today that much sweeter.

I called to cancel our trip as soon as we got in the car. "Hey Baller, we're not going to make it to Kelowna."

"The hell? We're already on the way to the airport. Is everything okay?"

"Uh, Kelly's sick." She widened her eyes at me.

"Really? She seemed fine last night when she was checking guys into the boards."

"Um, yeah. She's got a fever or something."

"Y'know, you sound pretty happy about this-" Baller paused.

Last night when we were watching her game, I had ended up telling him some of what was going on between Kelly and me. It started when I realized that stupid Davidson was the centreman on her line, something she had never even told me. Baller reassured me that there was no way Kelly would choose him-not only because he was nobody, but because we had a special link.

"Hold up! She chose you, didn't she?"

I glanced over at Kelly sitting innocently beside me. "I'm putting her right to bed. And I'll take care of her."