CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE.

Jude didn't barge into the bathroom as I thought he would.

As I squeezed the water out of my hair and wiped myself off, dread swirled in the pit of my stomach. The last thing I wanted to do was return to the bedroom, to find him there. Or maybe he was downstairs in his office. Maybe it wouldn't hit him too hard. Surely he knew that sometimes it could take years for someone to get pregnant. Feeling less anxious, I walked out of the bathroom, a thick towel around my body.

He half perched on the edge of the neatly laid bed. Lin must have been up to clean the room.

He was dressed now, after probably using one of the guest room showers. The pajamas were replaced by the suit that wrapped itself around his defined shoulders. No tie. The top b.u.t.ton of the coffee s.h.i.+rt was undone. During happier times, I would have found the way he lay there, looking powerful and in control, s.e.xy. It would have turned me on. We would have ended up under the sheets and made love. It felt like so long ago.

My gazed drifted to the drink in his hand, a dark golden liquid settling at the bottom of a tumbler. He hardly drank unless he was stressed or angry. And as I stepped further into the room, I smelled it, thick and dark, suffocating. Anger. The quiet, dangerous kind. Everything underneath my skin started to tremble.

"Haley." His voice was cool, controlled, too calm. He sat up and took a deep swig of his drink, barely wincing. "I'm going to ask you one question. If you lie to me, I'll kill you with my bare hands."

I knew what the question would be and already scrambled around my mind looking for a fit response. But whether I lied or told the truth, he'd probably kill me anyway.

He cleared his throat, took another drink and placed the gla.s.s with a slam on the bedside table. "Where did you hide them?"

I tightened my towel around my body, wis.h.i.+ng it could s.h.i.+eld me from whatever awaited me in the next few minutes.

"I ... what?" I licked my dry lips.

"Don't f.u.c.k with me, Haley. Where are the d.a.m.n pills?" He shouted and I jumped.

I'd made sure to hide them well this time, in the laundry room, where he never stepped foot, taped behind one of the was.h.i.+ng machines. I had to keep lying to save myself from his wrath. I dropped my gaze. "I'm not on the pill ... anymore." I tried hard to keep my voice from shaking.

"So," he said slowly, "you're just a worthless piece of s.h.i.+t, then? Good for nothing."

I lifted my head and met his gaze head on. "Why did you marry me then? If you hate me so much, why don't you just let me go?"

His reaction was so quick and unexpected. I almost didn't dodge the gla.s.s as it hurtled through the air toward my head. But I managed to move to the right just in time. It smashed against the wall next to me, exploding into what seemed like a thousand shards of gla.s.s. One caught the side of my neck and sliced into my skin. I breathed in sharply, inhaling the stench of alcohol before grabbing my neck, the towel sliding from my body and pooling at my feet.

I smothered a sob as I watched the man I had married leering at me with the satisfaction of watching me in pain. I refused to cry in front of him.

"Come here," he ordered.

I bent down to pick up the towel. The sight of blood on my hand made me nauseous.

"Leave it there."

Careful not to step on any gla.s.s, I went to stand before him. He unzipped his pants and whipped out his c.o.c.k. "Suck," he ordered. "That's all you're good for. Sucking and f.u.c.king."

His words tore through me but I kept my mouth shut.

He made me give him a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b for what felt like an hour, until my mouth was numb and my throat sore from him slamming too deep into my mouth. Before he came, he yanked me by the hair and threw me on the bed. Then he f.u.c.ked me in every possible way, every possible place.

First he came inside me. The second round he withdrew before he came and stood over me on the bed, squirting his sperm on my face and hair. I kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to see the pleasure on his face.

Just when I thought he was done, I felt a jet of something warm and sharp-smelling hit me where the s.e.m.e.n had landed earlier, soaking into my hair. Water? I opened my eyes just in time to see him urinating on me. Horrified, I gagged and cried and tried to scramble away from him.

"You stink," he said when he was done. "Looks like you need another shower."

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO.

The marinated tiger prawns made my stomach queasy, and the oriental noodles looked like neglected yarn left out in the rain. From the way he dissected his steak, Jude's appet.i.te was just fine. I gritted my teeth as his knife sc.r.a.ped the porcelain plate.

Breakfast wound up being lunch because I'd spent an hour locked up in the bathroom weeping.

Even after what he'd done to me, he still insisted we celebrate our anniversary. At first I refused, but his palm connected with my cheek, quickly reminding me I did not have the power to make decisions anymore. I wore heavy concealer on my face and a silk scarf around my neck, to cover the signs of his abuse.

As I sat across from him, I thought of the options I had to escape this h.e.l.l. Whatever I decided to do, it had to work the first time. I only hoped he didn't kill me before I had the chance to try. I needed time, money, and courage.

He didn't say a word to me until his food was gone, and I had hardly touched mine.

Finally, he dabbed a napkin on his mouth and waved for the waiter. Without asking if I was finished, he said, "We're done."

The waiter nodded and scuttled over to remove our plates.

Jude drank his wine and watched me from under his thick lashes. He looked s.e.xy and distinguished, the kind of man women swooned over. In the past forty-five minutes I'd already caught a few gazing in our direction. Those women had no idea he was a pig, a coward who abused women to make himself powerful.

"Put a d.a.m.n smile on your face. It's our anniversary. Why do you look so f.u.c.kin' miserable all the time?" His words were a hiss through his teeth, but he smiled as he spoke.

I pasted a smile on my face, my right cheek aching from the movement.

"I love you so much," he said, reaching for my hands. I flinched and he tightened his grip. "When you turn your back on me, when you act as if you don't love me, you stab my heart." His eyes bore a genuine broken look. "We were happy once, remember?"

I nodded. He was telling the truth. He did love me, no doubt about that. But his love had become poisonous, twisted.

"The night I met you, the first time I gazed into your eyes, I was gone. I fell in love instantly. That's why I did everything in my power to hide you from what you did, to protect you. You're mine now. The sooner you accept that, the better. You belong to me and me alone. No one will ever love you as much as I do."

"Then why?" I blinked away the moisture in my eyes. "Why are you hurting me?"

He shoved my hands away and leaned forward. "Because you can be such a b.i.t.c.h sometimes. But you're my b.i.t.c.h."

I looked away from him. The sight of him disgusted me.

Breaking the pain-filled moment, his phone vibrated on the table next to the bottle of wine. He stood and walked out of the restaurant to take the call.

As I watched his back disappear through the sliding doors, a thought crossed my mind, and I turned my gaze to the floor-to-ceiling gla.s.s windows, observed the balcony beyond. What would he do if he came into the room and found me gone? Not gone in a way that he could hunt me down, but dead.

It would be so easy to step out onto the balcony under the pretense of wanting to enjoy the view of the lush garden below, so easy to step onto the ledge and jump before anyone had time to stop me. The chance of surviving a fall from the eighth floor of the building would be slim. And I'd be free of Jude forever. How would he react to losing one of his valued possessions? But I wasn't that stupid. Even with everything I was going through, I'd never kill myself, not before I exhausted all options first.

"My day has just gotten that much more interesting."

My neck almost snapped when I turned my face up to look at the man towering over me.

Dustin wore jeans and a sky blue polo s.h.i.+rt.

My heart lifted for a beat and then panic took over. Jude would be back any second.

My panicked gaze drifted to the door. "I'm here with my husband." The words came flooding out. Under the table, I clutched my knees to stop my hands from shaking.

"I saw." He leaned down and lowered his voice. "But you can say h.e.l.lo to an old friend, can't you?"

"Hi," I said quickly. Sweat trickled down my temples. "Please ... Please go, Dustin. He'll be back soon."

Dustin frowned. "Haley, are you okay? You're white as a sheet. Are you sick?"

My chest tightened. I wanted to confide in Dustin, to beg him to save me from my personal h.e.l.l, but I was terrified. Jude has proven to be a very dangerous man. I wouldn't want him to hurt Dustin. I had to get through this alone.

"I'm fine," I lied and forced a smile. "I really am. It was nice seeing you again ... last time."

"You don't look fine." He paused. "Tell you what. I'll leave if you give me your number again. I misplaced it. Please, let's keep in touch as friends."

The doors to the restaurant slid open and Jude entered but his gaze was fixed on his phone, maybe reading a text.

My heart started to thump so hard my chest hurt. I tried to swallow but my throat was too dry. "Dustin, please ..." Tears choked my voice.

Looking suddenly suspicious, Dustin turned to look at Jude for a second, then he shrugged and walked away before Jude saw him.

I dabbed the sweat off my upper lip with a napkin and sank deeper into my chair with both relief and fear.

Suddenly Jude was standing at our table, gazing down at me. Was there some chance that he had seen Dustin? In my mind, I could already see us back home, I could feel the pain of his beatings.

"You're so beautiful." He shoved his phone into his pocket. "Sometimes I can't believe you're mine. Forever."

I nodded but said nothing.

He stretched out his hand, and having no other choice, I reached for it, just the way I had done for our first dance at our wedding.

He led me to the dance floor on the far side of the restaurant. He pulled me to him, his cheek pressed hard against mine, his hand gentle on my lower back, his lips close to my ear. "We are meant to be together. Nothing will ever come between us."

I said nothing, just followed his lead. I allowed him to lead me right into h.e.l.l and there seemed no ticket back.

When the music faded, he kissed my cheek and just held me. "I'm sorry about earlier," he whispered. "You make me hurt you, you know that? When you disobey me, I feel like you don't love me. Just be a good girl and I'll take care of you."

Take care of me? He must have a twisted idea of what that meant. When I walked into his house and his life three years ago, I thought I was safe. He had made me feel safe, fooled me into trusting him. And then he s.n.a.t.c.hed all that away.

I squeezed my eyes shut to hide my pain from the other couples on the dance floor. When I opened them again, through the moisture, I saw Dustin, standing in the doorway of the restaurant. From a distance I detected the confused look on his face. I blinked the tears from my eyes.

He turned to walk out. A tear trickled down my cheek. Would I ever see him again? Would I get the chance to tell him what I was going through, ask him to help? Or could I really do it alone? By pus.h.i.+ng him away, I had made my decision. I was on my own. I had wanted to take my time, to plan my escape, but staying with Jude even for one more day would kill me. I'd give myself a week. Just one week and then I'd be gone.

When the music died, he led me out of the hotel restaurant and helped me into the limo. He didn't wait until we got home before he ripped my clothes off and raped me, covering my mouth with his hand to m.u.f.fle my screams. Why didn't the driver hear me?

When we arrived home, he ran me a bath and scrubbed my back. He was gentle in bed too, holding me and kissing my face, trying to offer me comfort I didn't want from him.

The only thing that got me through the night was knowing that I had a plan. When he fell asleep, I tiptoed downstairs and called Diana. I accepted her offer of help.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE.

Sat.u.r.day morning, before he left for an emergency meeting at the office, Jude placed a single white calla lily next to me on the bed. The flower I carried on our wedding day. It felt like a lifetime ago. He kissed me on the nose and whispered into my ear that he loved me. I tried hard not to recoil from his touch and his presence. But if I wanted to leave him without another bruise, I had to pretend I loved him, that I'd forgiven him.

As soon as the door downstairs slammed, I called Lin and told her to take the day off, then I gazed out the window, watching his car roll out of its parking s.p.a.ce. I waited another five minutes until it was a mere dot in the distance.

I had planned to leave on Sunday, but if I got everything I needed today, I'd be on my way. Spending even one more night with him would be unbearable. Of course, leaving him so suddenly increased my chances of making mistakes and possibly leaving behind a trail for him to follow.

As I barged into his office, my legs shaking and breath coming in quick gasps, I forced myself to stay positive, to only focus on how it would feel to fall asleep tonight without feeling his hot breath on my cheek, or his hand between my thighs. I had to try.

I slid drawers out of his heavy mahogany desk and carefully rooted around in them, searching for the key to the safe. I knew he kept it in there. And I was right. I found it within minutes, nestled between the pages of a blank leather-bound book that resembled a journal.

I turned to the metal safe, but to my surprise, I found the door closed but unlocked. I hesitated for a moment, wondering if this was a trick or if he had just left in such a hurry that he had forgotten to lock it. I decided not to question it and just be grateful for the opportunity. Jude often kept a lot of money in the safe. Though he had millions to his name in banks all over the world, I'd heard him say to someone over the phone that he didn't trust banks.

Taking little time to breathe, I grabbed at stacks of notes and shoved them into the purse I brought with me. I'd not take everything, just enough to keep me afloat for a couple of months before I found a job. Even after taking the wads of cash, the safe was still well-stocked. Unless he counted the money, it would take Jude a while to notice something was missing. I didn't have time to count how much I'd taken. I didn't have time for anything.

Hugging my purse to my body, I wondered whether to lock the safe or just leave it as I'd found it. What if he'd forgotten that he'd left it open? Finding it ajar would make him suspicious then.

Still, I couldn't get myself to lock it, wanting to leave everything as I'd found it. The only thing I did was rearrange the money so he didn't notice immediately that I'd robbed him.

I put back the key where I found it in the book and tiptoed to the door. Then I felt a draft, a whisper of wind tickling my ankles. It had to be coming from somewhere in the office, but not the windows because they were shut. I turned and studied the far wood-paneled wall, the one with an oversized painting of Jude. My gaze swept its surface for something, anything. Nothing suspicious.

My mind urged me to leave it at that, to just walk out, but I found myself approaching the wall, feeling its surface with the palms of my hands. The gentle wind on my ankles was now stronger. It had to be coming from somewhere behind the wall. I dropped the purse at my feet and pushed gently at the surface of the wall. It gave way, and I almost jumped out of my skin. Recovering from the surprise, I pushed again and it opened like a door. I stopped and covered my mouth with my hand.

There was a whole other room, a hidden room in our home. Why would Jude want to hide a room? Why would he not mention it to me? My stomach clenched as I was reminded once again of the mistake I'd made by marrying a total stranger. I bit my bottom lip. Did I want to enter, to see what was worth hiding?

Before I could decide whether to play detective or escape, I heard the distant sound of a key turning in the front door. A sound my ears had become very accustomed to.

s.h.i.+t. He was back already? My heart leapt to my throat and I quickly pushed the other end of the wall so that the open end moved forward again and I heard a click. The house was big enough so that I had enough time to get out of the office and hide the money.

I hid the cash in my walk-in closet, under a floorboard I'd loosened last week. Jude's footsteps were getting louder, coming up the stairs. Relief course through me as I realized he hadn't been to his office yet. I was pretty sure I'd left traces. I slipped back into bed and made a pretense of sleeping.

A few moments later, the mattress on my side of the bed gave in to his weight. Air a.s.sailed my face as he lifted the covers. I opened my eyes a fraction as if too sleepy to open them wide.