Those words echoed in her mind, giving her a sense of uneasiness. Another flash of her whimpering and slaps of flesh against flesh. Panic and terror ripped through her and she automatically blocked out the moans and grunts. No, she didn't want to go there. Didn't want to remember what it meant.

"Kinley?"

She blinked and snapped back to reality to find Blackie suddenly missing and a woman with a newborn cradled in her arms.

"I'm Annie. Your brother Joe's mate. I heard you were injured during the crash. Your sisters mentioned you'd been knocked unconscious. Blackie said you had suffered a blow to your head and you are experiencing memory loss. I'd like to examine you."

Kinley frowned at the chick's forward att.i.tude. "Sorry, but I don't need an examination. I'm fine."

She grabbed the final tent peg, cursing Blackie for leaving her here alone with this woman, and started to pound the peg into the ground. Kinley would ignore her. Hopefully the chick would get the message and leave.

Where the h.e.l.l was Blackie anyway?

A quick scan of her surroundings and she couldn't see him. The slice of panic she'd just experienced with that flashback rocked through her again. Had he left her here? Abandoned her?

"Blackie is speaking with the males. Something about a replicator and reproducing parts for the s.p.a.ceship that crashed into the Fever Swamps."

How did this chick know she was looking for him anyway? Was she that transparent? That needy?

"Blackie said you had a blackout. That you tune out briefly sometimes. Like you did now. What were you thinking just now?" Annie asked in a soft voice that almost unraveled Kinley.

Emotions, thick, raw and hurtful, swelled in Kinley's chest. "I don't want to talk about it. Please leave me alone."

"You don't wish to remember? Is that it? I saw a look of horror flash on your face. There's something holding you back from remembering."

"I said leave me alone." G.o.d, what was with this woman? Her insistence really annoyed Kinley.

"Maybe you're hungry. People always get into a bad mood when they're hungry."

Anger slammed through her and Kinley looked up with full intentions of telling the woman to get lost once and for all, but Annie's sweet smile warmed her insides. The chick understood her problem and she was giving Kinley an "out" with eating. She didn't seem as persistent as Kinley had first thought.

Good. That's what she needed. s.p.a.ce. And time.

"Would you like me to bring over some food? Or maybe you'd prefer to join us at the tables beneath the trees?" Annie pointed to a long line of picnic tables at the far end of the meadow.

Food was being brought there by the women. The men were seating themselves, Blackie right along with them. He seemed to be making himself at home quite nicely, didn't he?

At the sight of their happy faces and the sounds of their cheerful chatter, something shifted inside Kinley's heart. It only lasted a split second, but for that brief period of time, a tingle of unbelievable happiness and sense of belonging and security had chased away her unease. It was instantly dashed, leaving her more jittery than ever.

s.h.i.t.

She wanted that sense of belonging back. But the other stuff, the darkness she'd been fighting, the s.h.i.t she'd been suppressing would come too. She had no doubt about it.

The baby in Annie's arms gurgled and out from the blankets popped the tiniest, cutest arms Kinley had ever seen.

"Little Joe is hungry too." Annie laughed. "Would it be okay if maybe I got us some food and we could eat here together? I can nurse him. We don't have to talk if you don't want to. And you could hold Little Joe for me for a couple of minutes. I would so love for someone to babysit him even for such a short time. I could pretend I'm on vacation." Annie laughed again. "Amazing I can even think something like that when he was just born this morning."

This morning? Kinley blinked in stunned disbelief. And the woman was out of bed and wandering around already?

The baby's fists curled together in defiance and the kid let out an annoyed cry. Annie swayed him gently back and forth in her arms.

"Little Joe is my nephew?"

Annie nodded.

Jeez.

She was an aunt. h.e.l.l, she was an aunt many times over from the looks of those toddlers running around the meadow.

Standing, Kinley accepted the blanket-wrapped baby into her arms and the warmth from his cuddly body sifted against her. When she met Little Joe's soft blue gaze, all the breath escaped her lungs and brought along a wave of lightheadedness unlike anything she'd ever experienced before.

"Are you all right?" Annie's concerned voice echoed from somewhere far off and Kinley was suddenly in some long tunnel. The baby was being taken from her arms and an immense loss shifted through her. An emptiness. Shame.

You forgot the rules, Kinley.

A man's voice. Far away. Dizziness a.s.saulted her. Her limbs grew heavy.

"Never leave your drink unattended, baby."

Something black and horrible slithered though those words. Then there were faces. Several men. A couple she recognized from university. The others...she had no idea who they were.

"If you forget the rules, then you pay the consequences, Kin."

She was on a bed. How had she gotten onto a bed? She couldn't remember.

Panic sliced into her, deep and hard. She wanted to move but everything was so heavy. A man at the side of the bed was chuckling as he gazed down at her.

"You're a nice piece of a.s.s, Hero. Just like the boys said."

"What?" she tried to speak. No words formed. Only a pathetic moan. She tried to cover herself. Oh my G.o.d, she was naked. She couldn't move!

Drugged?

Helpless, she lay there. The door opened and the man who'd just been there exited. Men's laughter echoed from behind the door, and then two of them came into the room. The door closed.

Oh G.o.d.

"She won't remember much of anything. She'll think she's hungover from all that drinking," one man said.

"The beauty of the date rape drug, huh?" Another chuckled.

"Keeps them off balance. You don't have anything to worry about. Just use the condoms on the table. That way there's no evidence. Enjoy. Oh and put the money in the jar over there."

Money? What? Did they think she was a hooker?

The man stuffed some bills into the gla.s.s jar then left. The other one turned to her and began to undress. His leering smile made her stomach clench with a horrible sickness.

"No need for condoms, heh, sweets? I like my young women skin-to-skin."

She cringed as he palmed her breast and squeezed until pain made her moan. She began crying as he climbed on top of her. He was too heavy.

Get off! Get off!

The man grinned as she gasped.

"Forgot the rules, eh sweetie? Lots of you young ones do that. Lucky for me, heh?"

She cried out as he sank into her.

"Get off me! Get off me!" she screamed.

Hands were on her. Holding her arms. They wouldn't get off her!

"Get off!"

Panic spiraled. Fear sawed through her so deep it hurt.

They kept holding her arms. "Let me go! Don't touch me!"

Oh G.o.d. Help me.

"Kinley! Kinley! It's me! It's Blackie. You're safe! You're safe!"

Something painful slapped her right cheek. It snapped the terror from her body and suddenly the men were gone. The darkness and the horrible betrayal and the awful shame shifted to the back of her mind. But it stayed there, hovering, threatening to return if she wasn't careful.

Blackie was in front of her. He was the one holding her arms. Anguish raged in his eyes. "You are safe," he said softly.

He smiled and Kinley blew out a tense breath. She was shaking. She couldn't stop shaking.

"I forgot the rules," she whispered as she stared at him. "I forgot the rules."

Puzzlement creased his face, but then she was in his arms. He embraced her and held her tightly as she began sobbing into his broad shoulder.

The men. They were gone. But so was her baby.

"Oh my G.o.d, Kinley. Why didn't you tell us? You should have told us," Kayla quietly said as the three of them-Piper, Kayla and Kinley-lay in the hide shelter beneath their blankets.

"I was ashamed," she admitted. Despite sobbing in Blackie's arms for, like, forever, being here, lying beside her two sisters made her feel the safest she'd been in a long time.

It was dark now. Late. The village was silent. Everyone had gone to bed.

"We wouldn't think badly of you because of what happened. It wasn't your fault. It was theirs. What they did was criminal. You should have pressed charges. From what you've said, they'll do it again," Piper said as she reached over and caressed Kinley's cheek.

Kinley remembered who she was now. With the memories of the gang rape back on Earth at her university dorm, everything else had come flooding back. Her wonderful, tight-knit family. The devastating news of her brothers being unable to return to Earth. How she and her sisters had dropped their studies in order to train for a top-secret mission to Paradise in order to bring their brothers' a.s.ses home.

She remembered the good things in her life as well as the bad. The s.p.a.ceship crashing into the swamps. The horrible solitude she'd endured following the rape by not telling anyone what had happened to her. It had been wrong for her to work it out on her own. She'd needed support.

"I know that now. I should have done what you said. But after it happened...and everything that happened after...the abortion. I was so confused. I shut down. Blocked it out. Wanted the baby gone. Everything. The memories. Gone."

"You need counseling, Kinley. You need it because you haven't fully dealt with the rape and the abortion," Kayla said softly. Reaching out, she took Kinley's hand into hers and held tight.

"And above all, you have to realize none of it was your fault," Piper chimed in.

"But I forgot the rules. I left my drink unattended. They dropped something in and I paid. I got raped," Kinley whispered. Thankfully though, emotion didn't clog her throat as it once did. Now that things were out in the open, she was better. But she also realized she had a long way to go before she could fully heal.

"No, you still are not at fault." Piper reached out and took Kinley's other hand in hers. "They were only saying that to pa.s.s the blame on to you. So they could make it your fault. So they wouldn't have to take the responsibility for their actions. Don't you see that?"

"I was totally defenseless. I couldn't do a thing to stop them. I blacked out so many times I have no idea how many there were. I didn't go to the hospital like I should have. I didn't ask for a rape kit. I didn't turn them in. I didn't ask for a morning-after pill to get rid of..."

A wave of sadness. .h.i.t her. She'd gotten rid of an innocent baby. That's what really hurt. Guilt slammed into her.

"I shouldn't have had the abortion. I shouldn't have gone back to cla.s.ses and pretended nothing was wrong." Gosh, there were so many things she should have done differently, but she'd panicked and dealt with things the best way she'd known how.

Both her sisters' hands tightened around hers.

"You did what you needed to do at the time to survive, Kinley," Kayla soothed.

"I should have come to you guys. I should have known you would understand and guide me. I did everything wrong. And me, taking criminal courses. I wanted to be a crime scene investigator. G.o.d, I should have known better. I know how to report things. Why didn't I do what I knew was the right thing to do?"

Silence greeted her.

She was hoping her sisters had answers for her. They didn't. Or maybe she had the answer already? She had done what she'd needed to do at the time to survive. Just like Kayla had said.

Despite knowing that, the memories still hurt. They hurt like h.e.l.l.

"She had the eyes," Blackie whispered as a rage of black anger clutched his soul. "The minute she remembered, I saw what she had been trying to forget in her eyes."

"I know. I saw it too," Taylor replied from beside him. They sat in the darkness by the riverbank. White lights flashed far in the distance. The lights that indicated more storms.

"In Death Valley I tried not to let the captive women of the Boys trouble me. I wanted to be strong for the females. To remain emotionless so I could focus on change. I didn't care how slow it was going to be. I just knew their conditions would eventually alter. For the better. I had hoped."

Taylor remained silent. He and Jarod had been good males to the female captives. They had been laughed at by the other males. Their lives threatened because of their compa.s.sion. They'd fled the Valley because they had not agreed with the Boys.

Blackie had stayed. Not because he had agreed with the Boys' tactics, but because of his hope for change. In all the time he had stayed, he had forced himself to ignore the sour pit in his stomach whenever he saw their eyes. The haunted looks. Wounded. Fear. Hurt. Pain.

Those emotions had all been in Kinley's eyes tonight.

At first, he hadn't realized it was her screaming. Then he'd seen the slave Doctor Annie grab her baby from Kinley. Kinley's face had been contorted in anguish, her screams so gut-wrenching that terror shot through him like an arrow. He could not remember going to her side. But he had experienced how hard she'd struggled when he'd grabbed her flailing arms as he'd tried to soothe her.

And he'd seen the devastation and despair roaring in her eyes. He'd seen similar looks on women following the Slave Uprising and the ones who were forced to live in Death Valley. He'd known exactly why she did not wish to remember. He ached so badly for her, his stomach knotted as if he had been punched over and over again.

"She is strong. She will heal," Taylor soothed.

Yes, she may heal. But would he?