As soon as she was alone,Pilar took a deep breath, thinking how much her life had changed. And thinking, despite her intentionnot to--at least not tonight --about what lay ahead.

She was at last free fromJulian's hated domination. She was inEngland , under the protection of a family that had powerful connections. And she was married, not to her despised guardian, but to a man...

To a man who had been forced into that marriage by theircircumstances. There was no other alternative. His words had been unequivocal; the opinion they expressed undeniably accurate.

Sebastian had never misled her about why he was doing what he had done. He had married her to rescue her.To protect her.To get her away fromJulian .

He had married her, but at no time had he ever indicated that he desired to be her husband. If Anne really thought that all Sinclair marriages were magical, then it would probably be painful for her to learn exactly how far from that ideal this one fell.

Not nearly so painful,Pilar acknowledged, as that realization had been for her.

Chapter Nine.

"Quite the loveliest emigreLondon has seen in a very long time," Anne Sinclair said admiringly.

She was sitting in the center of herbed, her skirtsrucked carelessly around her, as she watched the abigail put the finishing touches onPilar's toilette.

"Refugee, I should think,"Pilar corrected absently, adjusting the sleeve of the morning gown she had been given.

The shade of green was not one she would have chosen. However, with the current darkness of her complexion, it was unexpectedly becoming. Very becoming, she amended, unable to prevent turning a small pirouette before the cheval glass to admire the dress from every angle.

"Of course," Anne agreed, unembarrassed over the mistake. "You could hardly be an emigre, could you, since you aren't French."

"I believe that will do, thank you,"Pilar said, smiling a dismissal at the hovering maid.

When she had turned back to consider the image in the glass, she thought that it--and she--would do very well, indeed.Even wearing a hastily altered gown that had been created for someone whose coloring and figure were very different. It was almost miraculous what a bath, a good night's sleep and a fashionable dress could accomplish.

When the maid had gone,Pilar turned away from her own reflection to face the girl on the bed. She had never met anyone less pretentious or kinder than Anne Sinclair.

"Thank you," she said sincerely, gesturing toward the dozens of other dresses, which were spread, it seemed, over every available inch of space in the room. Not all of the ones Anne had tried to give her could be adjusted to fit, but there were at least four or five that had proven to be quite suitable.

More than suitable, she acknowledged, resisting the urge to glance back at her reflection.

"You're very welcome. In truth, this isn't nearly the sacrifice you seem to think. I have far more than I can possibly wear, and by next year I fear they will be sadly out of date forLondon . This was to be my Season, you see. You can't imagine the sums Ian spent."

"Ian spent?"

"He was my guardian before he was my husband. Oh, dear," Anne said, her eyes still smiling, "I've managed to shock you quite thoroughly."

"Please believe me when I tell you that I am not so easily shocked,"Pilar said truthfully. After all, this was no different thanher own situation. "It's just that I had thought..." She paused, unwilling to judge a relationship or a society about which she knew nothing.

"No, it isn't the 'accepted thing' inEngland for a guardian to marry his ward.And especially not accepted when his ward is also heiress to a considerable fortune."

"And you were."

"I'm afraid so," Anne said. "Ian was as reluctant as any man of honor could be, but..." For a second or two, the smile seemedforced , and that strange hint of melancholy was again in her eyes.

"But you overcame his scruples,"Pilar suggested, watching her face.

The brown eyes came back from wherever they had been, and the smile expanded, becoming almost mischievous. "How can you be so certain it wasn't the other way 'round?" she teased.

"Because there's something about your husband..."

Unconsciously,Pilar shook her head, unable to put into words the feeling that of all theSinclairs , Ian was the one who lived his life most strictly by the rules. Or, she amended, by the dictates of honor.

Sebastian was governed by his emotions, of course. Everything he had done since she had known him had been based on how he felt about a particular situation.Everything except their marriage.

She wasn't sure yet what the guiding principal of the earl's life might be, but like the youngest Sinclair, there was a bit too much devil-may-care in those eyes to believe the world's opinion mattered. His opinion of himself was quite high enough to make up for any lack of respect society might offer.

"You're right again, of course," Anne said, her voice no longer teasing. "Someday, when I know you better, I shall tell you why, despite those quite formidable barriers to our relationship, Ian was persuaded to ask me to marry him."

When I know you better... Despite her doubts that she would be here long enough to earn Anne's friendship to that extent,Pilar said, "And why you accepted, perhaps?"

"But you've met him," Anne responded, smiling again. "I'm sure you can see for yourself why I accepted."

Since Anne had described her marriage as "magical," she probably couldn't imagine anyone who would not fall head over heels in love with Ian Sinclair. AndPilar found that she was almost jealous.

"Do you think it's possible that if two people marry, but it's not for love..." She hesitated, regretting, despite Anne's kindness, having begun the question.

"If they didn't marry for love," Anne said after a moment, "then why did they marry?"

"Perhaps because one of them felt there was no option other than marriage in the situation they had found themselves in."

How ridiculous that sounded.And how melodramatic.

"It seems to me that there are always options," Anne said, "no matter the situation. We tend to choose those that make the most sense to us. So that if love is involved--".

A knock on the door interrupted whatever she had intended to say. Although Anne could not possibly understand what it felt like to have the man you'd fallen in love with offer to marry you out of expediency, Pilar had found herself listening avidly to what had sounded like a promising beginning. She would be extremely disappointed not to hear the end of it.

"Come in," Anne called, without troubling to scramble off the bed.

The door opened to reveal Watson, Dare's dignified majordomo. He nodded to Ian's wife before he turned to addressPilar .

"The earl asks if you would join him in his study, madam."

"Now?"

"I believe he's waiting for you there. However, if you wish me to take a message to him..."

"Never mind,"Pilar said, giving in. The earl's questions were inevitable. Buoyed by a new dress and a night's rest, she felt now was as good a time as any to try to answer them. Besides, there were a few things she wanted to ask Dare as well.

"If you would follow me," Watson suggested.

"Of course," she said.

She glanced at Anne, grimacing. She was careful, however, that the face she'd made was hidden from the butler.

"Remember what I told you," Anne advised.

About the earl,Pilar realized. It's all bluff.

Anne meant his arrogance, she supposed. Or the aura of unspoken authority that surrounded him.

Since she wasn't his family, however, no matter what Anne had meant to reassure her about, it wouldn't apply to his treatment of her.

"You sent for me,"Pilar said.

"I hope I should never be so gauche as to 'send' for a guest," the Earl of Dare protested.

He had risen when she'd entered the room, and he was standing now as if he expected her to walk across and present her hand. She didn't. If pressed, she could not have explained why she had chosen not to.

"I merely asked if you would agree to see me," her host continued, willing to overlook her reluctance.

"If my messenger implied anything other than that, I apologize for his ineptitude."

"Your messenger delivered your summons impeccably, Lord Dare,"Pilar said.

Dare's lips moved slightly at the corners, almost a tilt. Other than that, he ignored the gibe, gesturing her to the chair opposite his instead of pursuing her interpretation of his request.

It was early enough that she had not yet seen Sebastian. She had noidea, therefore, what he had told his oldest brother about what had occurred inSpain .Or, more important, inFrance.

If he had told him anything at all, she suspected it was the latter events about which the earl was concerned. If Sebastian had mentioned their marriage, there was no doubt that Dare, as head of the Sinclair family, intended to determine with whom its youngest member had gotten himself entangled.

"Would you care for coffee?" he asked as soon as she had settled herself in the chair.

There was no tray in sight, so she supposed he intended to ring for one to be brought if she said that she did. And since that might have the effect of unnecessarily prolonging this interview...

"Thank you, but no. I had tea in my room."

She didn't add that it had been accompanied by what had seemed, even for a household of this size and obvious wealth, a vast array of food. Having avoided dinner the night before by pleading exhaustion, she had partaken of a hearty meal this morning, although some of the English dishes had seemed strange fare for breaking one's fast.

There was a silence after her refusal, but thankfully it didn't take the earl long to come to the point. She imagined he was as anxious to get this awkward business out of the way as she was. Just for different reasons, of course.

"Sebastian has told me that he promised you the protection of this family. I assure you that we shall do everything in our power to fulfill that pledge."

"Thank you," she said, the pause he had allowed seeming to indicate he desired some response to that promise.

"He has also told me that since the crownhas already awarded your guardian your father's lands and titles, you feel he will now be willing to let you go."

It seemed, then, that Sebastian had talked about her situation at some length. She could only wish she had had the opportunity for such an open discussion with him before she'd been summoned here.

"I can't see why he would continue to pursue me, given that those attributes were what attracted him in the first place."

There was again a slight movement at the corners of the earl's expressive lips. "You will, I hope, allow me to be somewhat skeptical of that claim."

"You may be whatever you wish, Lord Dare. I assure you that I am only speaking the truth."

"You must be aware that you are a very beautiful woman,DonaPilar . As the daughter of a grandee ofSpain-- "

"My father is dead. Thanks to Bonaparte there are no longer grandees inSpain , not even my fiance, despite the title he has stolen. I personally no longer have a title. And no possessions, not even the clothing I am wearing."

She had managed to keep all emotion out of her voice as she catalogued her lack of anything that might makeJulian --or any other man--desire her.

"And very becoming clothing it is," the earl said.

As she sometimes had with his brother, she believed that she detected amusement hidden beneath those seemingly commonplace words. An amusement directed at her.

"Thank you. It belongs to your sister-in-law."

"I'm not surprised. Anne has a generous and courageous heart."

Generous she would grant, but courageous? The word seemed out of place when used to describe the friendly and unassuming girl who had taken her under her wing. Not that she needed to be taken under anyone's wing,Pilar thought. And perhaps it was time to make that clear.

"I don't believeJulian will come toEngland to find me, even if he knew where to look, so I wonder if I might impose upon you for...some advice."

"I should be delighted to be of service."

"I believe that I must seek some form of employment."

The statement obviously took the earl by surprise. His eyes had widened slightly, but the reaction was quickly controlled.

"I assure you,DonaPilar , that as long as you are under my protection, you shall never have to--"

"But I do not wish to be under your protection, Lord Dare. Nor do I believe it is necessary. I thought I had made my reasons for that perfectly clear."

"The fact that you believe your guardian won't come toEngland to seek you does not, surely, necessitate your seeking employment. Frankly, I fail to see the connection."

"There is none. Other than the reality that having brought nothing of value with me fromSpain , I find I must now manage somehow to support myself."

"Usually," the earl said softly, "one's husband might be expected to provide that support."

It seemed Sebastian had held nothing back then in his recounting of their adventures. Obviously the earl was aware of the marriage that had taken place on the docks atBordeaux .

"Husband?" she said aloud, pleased with the inflection.

"Sebastian. Or is he not your husband?"

"There seemed to be some confusion as to which set of laws was in effect inFrance at the time. In any case, the man who performed that ceremony was not a priest."

"So you consider the marriage to be invalid?"