Changyu had always found it difficult to breathe whenever she heard something really shocking. 

She had decided to relax and listen to her parents conversation because she knew she was going to get an information but this was rather shocking. What? Her baby wasn't cremated?

The wine spilled. The gla.s.s shattered. 

She gasped for breath since she felt really suffocated but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't breathe steadily. She also couldn't get up from the chair because her legs were so weak and wouldn't support her. 

When was all of this going to end? When was she going to finally find peace? 

What else had her parents done? But...the most important question was 'What happened to her child?'

26 YEARS AGO

"Where are you coming from?" Changyu asked her maid with the most unfriendly expression and dark eyes. 

Despite the fact that she was older and had practically watched Changyu grow up, Anna couldn't stand the glare and faltered. 

"Please forgive me" Anna knelt down and looked down guiltily. "I... had... to do it. I had..to let him know you were carrying his child." Anna confessed. 

"Are you out of your mind?" Changyu yelled at Anna with tearstained face before dropping the only flower vase left in her 'prison'. Thankfully, her parents had left her with things she could easily destroy whenever she was angry. Hopefully, they were going to stock the room again since she had destroyed every tangible thing left.

"He didn't want me. He said he didn't want it!"

Changyu sat on the ground and continued yelling like a mad woman which she looked like at the moment. Her hair was scattered and unkempt. She looked rough, pale and shattered. She also had bruise marks on different part of her body.

"Wh...at...what are you talking about? I thought you said he didn't leave a message?" Anna raised her head to ask with tears in her eyes. "What...what do you mean he didn't want you?" 

Changyu cried louder not bothering to care whether anyone would hear her. Her parents had gone to attend the governor's party so she was left home with the bodyguards and maids.

Any of them could come in but she couldn't be able to go out because right outside her door, bodyguards were stationed there to block her from escaping.

"Forget it. It makes no difference now" She stood up and used the back of her hand to clean her face

"Get me a pen and a paper something.. You have to deliver the letter to Jianjun at all cost." Changyu said with a determined and cold expression.

She succeeded in writing the letter after thinking it through and through. It was to inform Jianjun to not worry about her because she was going to get rid of the child. She didn't want to have anything to do with him or his family and he should pretend like she never existed because she hated all of them and wished them bad luck.

She wrote it all with the memories of the mail she had received from him. The more she remembered, the more she wrote down every hateful word she could think of.

Weeks before Changyu was to deliver, the sonographer had informed them after the ultrasound scan, that her baby was likely going to be a boy. But he wasn't saying for certain since suprises always happened.  

Changyu didn't care. She had made up her mind that no matter what, she wouldn't care about the boy.

She had even tried to take her life several times. But didn't have the courage to. She was so scared. Scared of living. Scared of dying.

No matter how much she tried to deny it, a part of her was also curious to see her baby.

She wanted to see the fruit of her love. But another part of her didn't want to. The baby was obviously going to remind her of her betrayal. Of the love she thought she had.

Her indecisiveness drove her crazier.

Suspecting a placenta previa as a result of her past uterine surgery, the doctor had recommended a Caesarean birth instead. The baby was also going to be delivered a few weeks before the stipulated 40 weeks.

Changyu had also found out about the Caeserean hysterectomy that they were most likely to perform on her with the way things were at the moment. 

She wasn't stable outside, she wasn't even stable inside? She laughed crazily. She was really a bad luck. Maybe she betrayed her country in her past life.

The thought of never going to be able to give birth again since her womb was going to be removed didn't scare her as much as the thought of losing her life or baby's life. 

She made up her mind. She needed her son. She wanted her child. And no matter what, she was going to fight for both their lives. She was going to raise the only child that she'll ever give birth to in her entire life.

She had a new will to live. She was going to live for her son. She was going to protect herself and her child from her parents. 

After she was operated on, she didn't know how long she slept for but when she woke up after everything, she felt so weak and fragile but the will to see her son had pushed her to wake up.

"You're awake? How do you feel?" A nurse asked her politely and began to check her vital signs.

"My baby...where... is my baby?"

 She hadn't bothered asking about her parents because according to them, if people saw them there, word would spread and it wasn't good for their family's image so they had to stay back.

Not like she cared anyway.

"I'll get the doctor. Please lie down" The nurse helped her lie back down before leaving the room. 

"Doctor...where is my baby? Where is he?" She asked in a dry voice.

"Doctor Peters was the one who helped you deliver and he is currently not on ground. But—"

"You have a call" The nurse handed her phone over to Changyu. 

She looked at her mother's name and instantly answered. Maybe she was with her son. Or maybe he was undergoing incubation somewhere in the hospital. Whichever it was, her mother would have an answer.

"Mother.. Are you with him? Where is he?" Changyu asked hopefully.

"It's such a relief that you're okay. You'll be escorted out of the hospital safely. Come home and you'll see your baby" Her mother a.s.sured her. "Changyu... I prayed for you" Madam Song added before hanging up.

Changyu sighed in relief and eagerly antic.i.p.ated seeing the only child she would ever have. 

But on getting home, she heard the words which still made her go crazy even after 26 years. 

She saw the confusion on her parents faces when she asked for her 'son' but it didn't last.

"My darling, your baby died. He was cremated" Her father said nonchalantly before adding "It's a good thing. You have to focus on your life now. We're glad it didn't blow up. This family would have all been in deep soup"

"N..o...no...no! You're lying.." She tried to get up from the wheelchair but her mother didn't let her  "You have to take care of your health now. We're sorry but there's nothing we could do about it" Tear streamed down Madam Song's face as she spoke to her daughter.

"Please Changyu. You have to forget about everything now. Your life is more important"

"I said I don't believe you!" Changyu screamed, looking all shocked and baffled. Her eyes scanned the empty room. "Where is Anna? Where is she?" She believed Anna was the only one who could tell her the truth. She didn't believe her parents. She didn't want to!

"She resigned. But don't worry. Your new maid will resume tomorrow. She will surely a.s.sist you well" Her father a.s.sured her in a gentle fatherly tone.