“This photo is when she got back from just winning an award in Russia . When she won, she didn’t care for the time zone and gave me a call and cried like a baby . Then the next day in the media interview, she was inexplicably calm and collected . ” Yin Li seemed to be reminiscing over fond memories, and his eyes carried laughter .

He and Yin Xuan had too many memories together . They had over 20 years of close camaraderie . To force Yin Li to ignore this blood relations.h.i.+p would be impossible .

…It was hard to accept that .

I took a deep breath .

“I want to dance . ”

Yin Li turned in shock . I met his eyes without flinching . “I want to dance . Though I don’t remember my fervor for ballet, it was once my life’s greatest dream . Having gone through all this, I shouldn’t just reject it and cast it aside . I should use ballet to connect my past and present selves . ”

I’m like Yin Xuan . Our lives have been dominated by ballet . It was the one thing that was most necessary in our paths to adulthood . Dance is our totem .

Yin Li grew quiet for a moment and then said, “I’m sorry . ”

I purposely ignored the reason he apologized and feigned a light-hearted att.i.tude as I said, “Maybe I’ll even recover my memories from dancing . ”

“Yan Xiao . ”

Despite only calling out my name, his voice betrayed a guilt and an unwillingness . And also, a hint of pleading .

With the car accident and my amnesia, I might not even be fit for ballet anymore . However, I was unwilling to resign myself to that . Yin Xuan’s existence was a barb in my heart . The more graceful her dance, the greater my inner turmoil . Originally, I should have been as successful as her .

“I want to dance,” I insisted to Yin Li . I wasn’t asking . I was telling .

Yin Li didn’t continue to try to convince me otherwise . He nodded, the expression on his face hidden in shadow so that it was impossible to see clearly . “Okay . ” His reply was succinct, with just that one word .

But that afternoon, he took me to see Dr . Gao, the orthopedic surgeon who had first operated on my leg .

Old Gao hadn’t seen me for a while . Seeing me walking so smoothly today, he couldn’t hide his joy .

“Yan Xiao, I knew I didn’t read you wrongly . I just knew you had a fierce will . If you wanted to walk, you definitely would!” He smiled, came over, and patted my shoulder . At the same time, he sized up Yin Li . “Mr . Yin, long time no see . ”

Yin Li nodded to him . “Dr . Gao, I’ll be troubling you . Can you give Yan Xiao an inspection to see if she can dance with her leg?”

Old Gao looked at Yin Li with slight surprise . Yin Li’s tone was seldom this humble . Old Gao cast a questioning gaze in my direction . “You want to dance?”

I nodded . “Mhm, ballet . ”

Ol’ Gao couldn’t quite make sense of this . “With your car accident, being able to walk and jump is already the best result . If you want to try your hand at amateur ballroom dancing, that’s no problem . For ballet, if you just want to learn the positions that’s fine . But if you want to dance en pointe with the tips of your feet against the ground, that’s just looking for trouble when it doesn’t exist . ”

Then Old Gao seemed to have suddenly thought of something, and his face darkened . “Before, your leg had healed fractures all over . Your leg muscles looked like an athlete’s, but they weren’t as exaggerated… Yan Xiao, did you do ballet before?!”

I nodded silently .

After the x-ray films came out, Old Gao’s face sank even more . “To be honest, Yan Xiao, I don’t think you should continue ballet as you are now . The car accident caused irreversible damage on your leg . Your bones are even weaker than before, they can’t handle that much weight . Also, you haven’t done any basic ballet exercises in two years . Your leg muscles are pretty much gone . ” He then turned to Yin Li . “Mr . Yin, speaking as a doctor, I don’t think she should do any strenuous exercise . Ballet is an absolute no . It’s too risky . ”

Yin Li also said to me, “Yan Xiao, I can’t risk you right now . Even without ballet, you still are you . The one I fell in love with has never been the you that danced . Even without dance, you can still live a bright and fulfilling life . ”

Yin Li and I fought the whole way back . Yi Li’s att.i.tude was unusually firm . By the end, he pretty much reverted to the coldness from when I had first met him .

“Yan Xiao, I know I’ve done wrong . It is I who caused you to be unable to dance ballet . But this is something I can’t allow . I won’t hold onto my guilt and indulge you as a kind of penance, allowing you dance . Only in this is there no room for discussion . I can’t bear to have you getting injured or being in any other accident!”

He and Old Gao are the same . They both feel that rational people should let go of ballet in this situation . But I’d already made up my mind .

Without a past, I have always been incomplete . Since I’ve forgotten my dream, I’ll just give my old one a second chance at life .

But Yin Li never agreed . By the time we reached the front door, I had already started shouting at him .

“Everyone thought I couldn’t stand . Since I can stand and live, I can dance! So what if I forgot? Then I’ll do it all over again! Shedding blood and tears, experiencing pain and hards.h.i.+p, I’ve never been afraid of those! From the start, I never had anything anyways!”

Yin Li had originally been walking in front of me and was about to open the door with the keys . Hearing my words, he furrowed his brows and turned . But suddenly, a person walked out from the shadows near the door and threw a violent punch at him . Yin Li didn’t have his guard up and was smacked square in the face . His nose immediately started bleeding all over the place, and it quickly stained the front of his s.h.i.+rt and lapel red .

That person grabbed Yin Li’s collar and was winding up another fist . Behaving as if the first hit wasn’t enough, Yin Li pinched his nose and didn’t even counterattack . He merely slanted his body and said in a calm voice, “Li Jing, don’t scare her . ”

 .

“This photo is when she got back from just winning an award in Russia . When she won, she didn’t care for the time zone and gave me a call and cried like a baby . Then the next day in the media interview, she was inexplicably calm and collected . ” Yin Li seemed to be reminiscing over fond memories, and his eyes carried laughter

He and Yin Xuan had too many memories together . They had over 20 years of close camaraderie . To force Yin Li to ignore this blood relations.h.i.+p would be impossible

…It was hard to accept that

I took a deep breath

“I want to dance . ”.

Yin Li turned in shock . I met his eyes without flinching . “I want to dance . Though I don’t remember my fervor for ballet, it was once my life’s greatest dream . Having gone through all this, I shouldn’t just reject it and cast it aside . I should use ballet to connect my past and present selves . ”.

I’m like Yin Xuan . Our lives have been dominated by ballet . It was the one thing that was most necessary in our paths to adulthood . Dance is our totem

Yin Li grew quiet for a moment and then said, “I’m sorry . ”.

I purposely ignored the reason he apologized and feigned a light-hearted att.i.tude as I said, “Maybe I’ll even recover my memories from dancing . ”.

“Yan Xiao . ”.

Despite only calling out my name, his voice betrayed a guilt and an unwillingness . And also, a hint of pleading

With the car accident and my amnesia, I might not even be fit for ballet anymore . However, I was unwilling to resign myself to that . Yin Xuan’s existence was a barb in my heart . The more graceful her dance, the greater my inner turmoil . Originally, I should have been as successful as her

“I want to dance,” I insisted to Yin Li . I wasn’t asking . I was telling

Yin Li didn’t continue to try to convince me otherwise . He nodded, the expression on his face hidden in shadow so that it was impossible to see clearly . “Okay . ” His reply was succinct, with just that one word

But that afternoon, he took me to see Dr . Gao, the orthopedic surgeon who had first operated on my leg

Old Gao hadn’t seen me for a while . Seeing me walking so smoothly today, he couldn’t hide his joy

“Yan Xiao, I knew I didn’t read you wrongly . I just knew you had a fierce will . If you wanted to walk, you definitely would!” He smiled, came over, and patted my shoulder . At the same time, he sized up Yin Li . “Mr . Yin, long time no see . ”.

Yin Li nodded to him . “Dr . Gao, I’ll be troubling you . Can you give Yan Xiao an inspection to see if she can dance with her leg?”.

Old Gao looked at Yin Li with slight surprise . Yin Li’s tone was seldom this humble . Old Gao cast a questioning gaze in my direction . “You want to dance?”.

I nodded . “Mhm, ballet . ”.

Ol’ Gao couldn’t quite make sense of this . “With your car accident, being able to walk and jump is already the best result . If you want to try your hand at amateur ballroom dancing, that’s no problem . For ballet, if you just want to learn the positions that’s fine . But if you want to dance en pointe with the tips of your feet against the ground, that’s just looking for trouble when it doesn’t exist . ”.

Then Old Gao seemed to have suddenly thought of something, and his face darkened . “Before, your leg had healed fractures all over . Your leg muscles looked like an athlete’s, but they weren’t as exaggerated… Yan Xiao, did you do ballet before?!”.

I nodded silently

After the x-ray films came out, Old Gao’s face sank even more . “To be honest, Yan Xiao, I don’t think you should continue ballet as you are now . The car accident caused irreversible damage on your leg . Your bones are even weaker than before, they can’t handle that much weight . Also, you haven’t done any basic ballet exercises in two years . Your leg muscles are pretty much gone . ” He then turned to Yin Li . “Mr . Yin, speaking as a doctor, I don’t think she should do any strenuous exercise . Ballet is an absolute no . It’s too risky . ”.

Yin Li also said to me, “Yan Xiao, I can’t risk you right now . Even without ballet, you still are you . The one I fell in love with has never been the you that danced . Even without dance, you can still live a bright and fulfilling life . ”.

Yin Li and I fought the whole way back . Yi Li’s att.i.tude was unusually firm . By the end, he pretty much reverted to the coldness from when I had first met him

“Yan Xiao, I know I’ve done wrong . It is I who caused you to be unable to dance ballet . But this is something I can’t allow . I won’t hold onto my guilt and indulge you as a kind of penance, allowing you dance . Only in this is there no room for discussion . I can’t bear to have you getting injured or being in any other accident!”.

He and Old Gao are the same . They both feel that rational people should let go of ballet in this situation . But I’d already made up my mind

Without a past, I have always been incomplete . Since I’ve forgotten my dream, I’ll just give my old one a second chance at life

But Yin Li never agreed . By the time we reached the front door, I had already started shouting at him

“Everyone thought I couldn’t stand . Since I can stand and live, I can dance! So what if I forgot? Then I’ll do it all over again! Shedding blood and tears, experiencing pain and hards.h.i.+p, I’ve never been afraid of those! From the start, I never had anything anyways!”.

Yin Li had originally been walking in front of me and was about to open the door with the keys . Hearing my words, he furrowed his brows and turned . But suddenly, a person walked out from the shadows near the door and threw a violent punch at him . Yin Li didn’t have his guard up and was smacked square in the face . His nose immediately started bleeding all over the place, and it quickly stained the front of his s.h.i.+rt and lapel red

That person grabbed Yin Li’s collar and was winding up another fist . Behaving as if the first hit wasn’t enough, Yin Li pinched his nose and didn’t even counterattack . He merely slanted his body and said in a calm voice, “Li Jing, don’t scare her . ”.