A flaming sword guarded its entrance, rotating to cover all four of the earth's directions. I knew instinctively where I was because it was the picture of perfection. Vivid skies stretched above me, blooms drenched the air in perfume, and ripe fruit weighed down the branches of trees. In the garden's center stood the most magnificent of all the trees, its knotted boughs stretching toward me like a hundred arms, its fruit twinkling like rosy globes. Why was I being shown this now? Just as the question formed in my mind, the answer came without any effort on my part. This place marked a crossroad in my journey. I could still change my mind. Behind me lay the eternal peace of Heaven if I wanted it. The column of light that had carried me still hovered, awaiting my decision. If I turned away from it, my old life would be gone forever and nothing would ever be simple or straightforward again. A mortal life with all its trials lay ahead: a hard and stony road but not without rewards. I took a last look at the light receding into the milky atmosphere, then stood shakily and took my first tentative steps toward the garden. Then everything went dark.

I woke in blinding pain. I knew I was on the beach because I could hear the swell of the ocean and taste salt on my cracked lips. My hair fanned around me like tangled seaweed. My angelic clothing was gone. I was wearing a flimsy white dress, ragged and dirty from the journey. I felt something strange obstructing my vision and realized my face and arms were covered in a filmy mesh like a cocoon. I could feel it already dissolving in the salty water. I wanted to tear the rest away with my nails but even the slightest movement caused such stabbing pain that I was forced to lie completely still. This was no superficial pain ... it was bone deep, like all my muscles and bones were trying to knit together after extensive surgery. I felt like clay waiting to be fired, my muscles still fluid and my blood not yet warm. I felt at any moment I could dissolve into the wet sand. The only thing I knew for sure was that everything about me had changed.

I struggled to open my eyes. When I did, I saw something shimmering on the water like gold paint. It was angel blood ... my blood. How much had I lost? Was I going to have the strength to walk? Was this the paralytic state Joseph had warned me about? I didn't know what came next. Suddenly I realized how my urgency had left me unprepared. I'd been in such a hurry to leave Heaven that I hadn't even asked Joseph what I should do if I made it back. I hadn't anticipated a welcome party but I wasn't expecting to face this alone. And now the beach was deserted. The night was too cold for anyone to be out. How long would I have to wait before someone found me? I felt my chest begin to heave involuntarily as broken sobs ripped through me. But every intake of air felt like I was inhaling fire.

After a while I calmed down enough to think about my options. As far as I could tell, there were only two. Wait for someone to find me, or try to summon the strength to make my way to a place where I was sure to draw attention. Neither appealed. I tried moving my fingers but they felt as stiff as the driftwood I saw lying around me. I tried summoning my angelic powers and then realized how foolish I was. I had snipped the wires, cut myself off at the source. I couldn't help myself now-I was completely human.

And then a thought occurred to me. Did this mean I had made it? I had done the unthinkable and survived the metamorphosis? I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Above me rose the majestic Crags, the moonlight shrouding them in a silver mantle. I craned my head as far as I could before crying out in pain. I scoured the pinnacles, outlined against the backdrop of sky like jagged towers. Relief washed over me. There was no one standing up there. It could only mean Xavier had come to his senses and gone home. I had to believe he was safe. Surely I'd sense if his body was lying broken on the rocks below. I could hear his heart beating in my head. I could almost smell the crisp pine scent of his cologne. Xavier was alive and he wasn't far away.

I heard laughter and froze. Out of nowhere a group of teenagers appeared on the beach. I felt suddenly self-conscious. How would I explain my current state? Some of the voices sounded familiar even though they were slurred by alcohol. From where I lay they were still only dark smudges but I could see their coat collars were turned up against the wind. Some still carried bottles in their hands. As they drew closer the night air carried their voices so I could hear their conversation clearly.

"That party sucked. Remind me never to go to a Beta event again," said a girl I didn't recognize.

"Hey, I was having fun."

I knew the boy who answered. It was Wesley, one of Xavier's closest friends before we'd been forced to flee Venus Cove. What was he doing back home? I vaguely remembered hearing that he went to Stanford to study engineering. His presence here must mean college was out on semester break. How much time had passed? How much had I missed?

"Fun playing beer pong?" the girl snorted. "That game is disgusting."

"You're just pissed because Colt spent the night making out with someone else."

"As if! I couldn't give a crap about Colt. He obviously has no class if he likes someone as cheap as Anna-Louise."

"Whose idea was this anyway? It's cold as hell out here."

"Hey, where'd Molly go? Wasn't she right behind us?" My ears pricked up at the mention of her name. Molly was here?

"Maybe she changed her mind," the girl replied, sounding like she couldn't care less.

"I better head back to check on her," said Wesley.

"Man, are you still stuck on her?" slurred his friend. "You gotta know that girl's outta your league."

"Shut up, Cooper. I'm not stuck on anyone. Just trying to be a good friend."

Someone diplomatically changed the subject. "I thought Xavier was coming tonight."

"Yeah, right. He never hangs out with us anymore," said the boy named Cooper.

"Give him a break; he's got a lot going on right now," said Wes.

"A lot going on?" echoed his friend. "That kid's got more problems than a math book."

"That's an understatement," said the unknown girl. "It's his own fault. You make your bed, you gotta lie in it, that's what my granddaddy always said. That's what you get for falling for an outsider."

"You're an idiot, Leah," Molly's voice rang out like a bell. "What would you know about Xavier and what he's been through? Do you even know him?" Leah jumped as if she'd been caught. Molly's authority on the subject made her uncomfortable.

"Not personally, but I've heard stuff."

"Yeah, gossip isn't such a reliable source of information." I felt proud of Molly for defending Xavier. I would have hugged her if I could.

"Relax, I'm not hating on him. I just think he needs to get back out there."

"He will when he's ready," Molly said sharply.

"I'm going back to the party," Wesley announced suddenly, cutting short the conversation about Xavier. I couldn't help feeling the topic was still raw for him. "Y'all do what you want."

Grumblings of displeasure followed but they all turned back and their voices began to wane. With a sudden urgency, I lifted my head and called out Molly's name. It came out as a cracked whisper; there was no chance she could hear me. Having her so close and yet out of reach was the last straw. I lost all motivation. The will to survive deserted me and I felt like the butt of Heaven's cruel joke. There was no point fighting for something the universe didn't want to happen. Xavier and I had been doomed from the beginning. They had let me come this far, teased me with the dream of a fresh start, and then snatched it away. I guess this was how my story was meant to end. I was too tired to be angry. Instead I was thankful that I'd made it back at all. If my life was going to end, at least it was in a place I loved. With acceptance came a numb peace. Even the pain started to subside. All I wanted now was the oblivion of sleep.

MY eyes fluttered open and I saw a woman wearing an old-fashioned nightdress looking down on me. For a moment I thought I was back in Heaven but then I realized nothing else about my surroundings had changed. The woman smiled. She wore a fringed shawl and her silver hair streamed over her shoulders. I knew she wasn't real because I could see right through her. She looked vaguely familiar. Memories of her flashed through my brain: a woman on a bench saying good-bye to her beloved dog, the metal beds and disinfected air of a retirement home, a ghostly figure at my bedroom window.

"Alice?" I croaked. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to help you, dear." She sounded like something out of a fairy tale. "You've come this far. You can't give up now. I won't let you."

"Why didn't I ever see you in Heaven?" I asked.

"You weren't exactly allowed to have visitors," she replied.

"Eve..." I recalled my lockdown in the white room. My voice was full of bitterness when I said her name.

"It doesn't matter now," Alice said gently. "You've come back. I knew you would."

"Hasn't done me much good. I think I'm dying, Alice."

"Don't talk nonsense. You have to get up now."

"I can't. It hurts too much. I just want to sleep."

"You can sleep as long as you like once you're home. Now, come along. I'll help you through this."

"I can't."

"Xavier is waiting for you."

The sound of his name spoken aloud stirred something inside me.

"He is?"

"Of course, dear. He's been waiting awhile. But you're going to have to pull yourself together if you want to see him. I know he very much wants to see you."

And that was all the incentive I needed. Alice knew exactly which buttons to press. I concentrated hard and hauled myself onto my knees. I managed it better than I expected, but it still took a colossal effort before I made it to my feet.

"Slowly," cautioned Alice. "One step at a time." I heeded her advice and waited a moment before taking a step forward. I was like a child taking my first tentative steps. I turned to Alice, looking for approval, but there was no one there. She was gone. The rest would be up to me. Inch by inch, I made my way along the beach, spurred on only by the thought of Xavier waiting for me.

At the pier, I found a trucker sitting outside Greasy Joe's-Venus Cove's only all-night diner. He seemed startled to see me even though he was the one with sleeves of tattoos.

"Hey there, darlin'," he said uncertainly. "You need some help?"

"I'm trying to get home."

"Rough night?" I could tell he'd concluded that illegal substances must be responsible for my state. I nodded. It was easier to let him think that than try to explain any other way.

"How about we stop by the hospital first-get you checked out?"

"Please, I just need to get home and sleep it off. My brother will take care of me. He lives just near here."

The mention of a brother had the desired effect. His face relaxed a little-now that he was relieved of responsibility.

"Alright, lead the way," he said, tossing the remnants of his burger into the trash. He took my elbow and helped me climb into the passenger seat of his truck. Empty soda cans and wrappers littered the floor. There was the lingering smell of fries coupled with cracked leather and tobacco. It didn't help how I was feeling. Now I could add sickening waves of nausea to my list of symptoms. I wound down the window and let the crisp night air in. It helped fight back the urge to retch even though I knew there was nothing in my stomach.

"What's you're name, sweetheart?"

"Beth."

"That's pretty. I'm Lewis."

He saw my face and offered me the unopened bottle of water in the holder.

"Here, you're probably dehydrated. Hittin' the bar too hard can do that to a person."

"Thanks." I accepted the water and gulped it down gratefully. It washed the grit from my throat and cleared my head.

"What kinda friends you got? Leavin' you all alone like that?"

"I was out alone."

"Boy trouble?"

"You could say that."

"Take it from an old timer like me, missy. I don't care if this boy's the king of England, he ain't worth it."

Luckily, Lewis knew his way around town. Finally, we pulled into Byron Street. It was deserted except for the winter moths dancing under the streetlights. Lewis slowed down, waiting for a sign from me to stop. We passed the stately homes with their manicured gardens and gravel paths. I sat up straighter, my eyes peeled for the familiar rise in the road.

I almost forgot to tell Lewis to stop I was so transfixed when it came into view, right where the street peaked. The house with its wide porch and ivy-covered elm in the front yard beckoned me like an old friend. Ivy's pruned rose bushes stood in a row just inside the wrought-iron fence. The curtains in the front sitting room hadn't been drawn. In the soft glow of lamplight I could see towering bookshelves, a worn antique rug, and an old grand piano. The remnants of a fire still burned in the grate.

My heart stopped at the sight of a restored 1956 sky blue Chevy parked outside. I felt that same rush of excitement I'd experienced the first time I'd seen the boy with the turquoise eyes fishing off the edge of the pier. It seemed so long ago. But I knew one thing: Whatever happened now didn't matter.

I had come home.

34.

Daybreak IT was strange to stand at the gates of Byron once again. It felt like no time at all had passed. All the hardships seemed to melt away and I felt like this night marked the start of a new life. I breathed in the clean night air to steady my racing heart. I wanted to remember this moment-it was going to be the beginning of everything.

Now that I was only a few feet away from Xavier, I felt suddenly self-conscious and aware of my bedraggled state. I combed my hair with my fingers and brushed the sand off my bare toes. Then, I stepped through the wrought-iron gates and onto the path I had walked so many times in my angelic form. Now I was walking it as a real human being in my own right. The stone was cold beneath my feet and I could smell spring hanging in the air. It was strange how everything could be unchanged and yet vastly different at the same time. I stepped onto the porch and heard the third step creak as it always did. From somewhere inside, Phantom began to bark. A few moments later I heard his paws scratch at the door.

"Hi, boy," I whispered, and Phantom began to whine.

I heard footsteps in the hall.

"Phantom, come back. What's got into you?" My breath caught in my throat. I knew that voice, low and soft, with a gentle drawl from a childhood in Georgia.

I waited, paralyzed with anticipation, unable to speak or move. For an awful moment irrational fears filled my head. What if I was changed beyond recognition? What if Xavier had already moved on? Did I even have any right to show up now, to expect him to be waiting? In my head, our reunion had been filled with passion, not fear. Why was I losing my nerve now?

"C'mon boy, there's no one out there." There was weariness in Xavier's voice I'd never heard before. "Don't believe me? Okay, I'll show you."

The door opened and Xavier and I finally stood face-to-face.

He was barefoot, dressed in sweatpants and a loose-fitting white T-shirt. His hair, the color of honey, fell softly in front of his eyes, which were still the most dazzling shade of turquoise, like the ocean and the sky coming together.

His reaction was not what I expected. His mouth dropped open and he reeled backward as if I were a ghost.

"You're not real." The way he shook his head in disbelief told me his imagination must have been playing tricks on him for a while. I realized how far from human I must look. The porch light wasn't on and I was standing in shadow.

"Xavier, it's me," I said in a small faltering voice. "I've come back."

He stood in stunned silence; the hand still holding the door was trembling.

"I don't believe you."

"I'm human," I told him. "I became human ... for you."

"I'm dreaming," he murmured, almost to himself. "Not again."

"Look!" I reached forward and grabbed his hand, digging my nails into his palm. "If I weren't real, would you be able to feel this?"

Xavier gazed at me with a heartbreaking expression of confusion mingled with hesitant hope.

"How can this be?" he said. "It's impossible!"

"You once told me a man in love can do extraordinary things," I said. "Well ... so can a woman. I'm here, I'm real, and I love you more than ever."

Xavier's expression changed as he reached out to grasp my shoulders, feeling firm flesh beneath his hand. His grasp tightened and he pulled me into him in a desperate embrace. We crushed against each other with so much intensity I thought we might liquefy and form a whole new entity. Xavier held my face in his hands, and together we rocked silently back and forth. When he finally released me, the whole world spun and I remembered the pain that was wracking my body.

I swayed dangerously and felt my vision begin to blur.