"COME on." I grabbed Xavier's hand. "It's past midnight, we really should be getting back."

Xavier agreed and stood up to dust off his jeans. We were just gathering up our things when a crackling sound like a dozen electrical appliances going haywire filled the air. Instantly the whole beach lit up, as if someone were setting off fireworks. As it dulled slightly, I saw a now all-too familiar sight. Sevens. They were all around us on the shore, perched on the rock like statues, even waiting in the water. This time they were all dressed in starched black suits like some bizarre parody of FBI agents. Some stood alone and others in pairs. As usual Hamiel occupied the highest position on the rocky pinnacle that was the peak of the Crags, allowing him a clear view of what was happening around him. He leapt down, landing on his feet like a cat. Xavier and I were both beyond reacting defensively. This time we just stood and waited. I wondered if I should try using the same powers I'd called upon during the last attack, but there were too many of them now; we were surely outnumbered. I thought of trying to reach Ivy and Gabriel, but I'd led them into enough battles and Gabriel had already lost his wings because of me. Did he even have enough strength to overpower an army like this? I didn't want to take any chances.

"Hello, again." Hamiel folded his hands pleasantly in front of him.

"You're back?" I asked. "Really? We thought you'd be tired of playing cat and mouse by now."

"Actually, I believe this is check and mate," Hamiel replied.

I was no longer capable of feeling any fear toward him. I only felt unadulterated hatred. I was looking at the man who had killed Xavier just to prove a point. I knew it went against my nature, but the only thing I wanted was revenge.

"And how do you figure?" I hissed.

"Well"-Hamiel seemed to be taking his time-"we realized there was little point trying to fight you."

"Yeah, because we'd win," I replied. "And you know it."

Hamiel chuckled. "Because the collateral would not have been worth it. So we decided to bargain instead."

"You have nothing we want," Xavier told him in disgust.

"Think again." Hamiel motioned to someone standing, hidden by the gloom of a cave. Two Sevens glided forward, tugging between them a young girl. She was barefoot and a burlap sack covered her face.

"What the..." Xavier said. "You can't just bring strangers into this! Let her go."

"Oh, but she's not a stranger," Hamiel replied, and he walked across to the struggling figure, his heavy boots leaving deep imprints in the sand. He reached out and yanked away the sack, revealing the face beneath.

At first I didn't recognize her. She was a mess of curly brown hair and a bloodied nose. But it was the same lanky figure and thin shoulders we'd seen earlier at Sweethearts. It was Nicola Woods. Xavier's little sister.

My sudden intake of cold air hurt my lungs. Nikki was still squirming and wearing her pajamas: little cotton shorts and a tank. Minus the heavy eye makeup and Doc Marten boots, she looked much more her age. And she looked scared.

"Nikki?" Xavier's face drained of color and he started forward, until one of the Sevens took Nikki by the throat.

"Don't move," Hamiel commanded.

Xavier darted forward and then caught himself just in time. He stopped, holding up his hands in defeat. It was as if he realized the madness of making any move under the circumstances.

"Okay," he whispered. "Just don't hurt her."

"Xav," Nikki called out. "What's going on?" I could see she was trying to be brave, but her voice was quivering.

"It's okay Nic," Xavier replied. His whole body was braced forward. I knew he desperately wanted to go to her aid, every fraternal instinct in his body was screaming at him to do something. "It's going to be okay, I promise."

Nikki turned her face up toward her assailant and twisted her body violently. "Let go of me!"

"Be quiet, Nikki," I heard Xavier mutter under his breath. "Be smart."

"Xavier, what's happening?" she screamed. The Sevens had her by the arms; she tried to kick her way free but any blow she landed might as well have landed on iron for all the impact it made. The Sevens hardly seemed to notice. "You're hurting me!" Nikki cried, and Xavier winced as a ripple of frustration ran through his shoulders.

"What do you want?" he yelled. "Tell me what you want!"

"We want the two of you separated," Hamiel replied. "That's what we've always wanted."

"So you're asking us never to see each other again?" Xavier said, like it was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard.

"No." Hamiel shook his head slowly. "You must come with us."

"Fine." Xavier didn't hesitate, and I felt my heart drop like a stone. "I'll come with you. Just let my sister go."

"Not you." Hamiel clicked his tongue and pointed a thick finger in my direction. "Her."

"No." Xavier gritted his teeth. "You leave her alone."

I could see him wracking his brains, desperately searching for a solution. It was an impossible situation, his sister or his wife. But I wasn't about to make him choose. And I couldn't let his sister get hurt. Xavier had already lost one girlfriend, his best friend, his childhood priest, and his roommate. He'd seen more death than anyone should have to and he was only nineteen years old.

Nikki was still struggling and in order to subdue her, the Seven twisted her arm up behind her back, making her face crumple in pain. I felt Xavier's body tense with anger and twitch forward instinctively. It seemed to be taking all his self-control not to run headlong into a fight.

Up until now, the threat had always been directed at us; someone had always been trying to harm us. But this was different. I had thought there was nothing Xavier and I couldn't handle, it was us against the world, us against what seemed like insurmountable odds. We always opted to fight, to take our chances, because being together surpassed everything. But not this. We had been prepared for every eventuality except this one.

"No!" Xavier repeated. "Not her. Take me instead. Please?"

"We cannot," Hamiel said evenly.

"Why?"

"Because you are one of the Elect. Our Father has big plans for you. We cannot interfere. If we did, the consequences would be severe." His dark eyes fell on me.

Xavier stepped forward. "She's my wife. You can't take her."

In response, Hamiel drew a gleaming silver blade from inside his coat and rested the tip at Nikki's throat. She let out a scream that turned into a gurgle as one of the Sevens clamped a hand over her mouth. But her eyes were wide and wild with panic. Xavier covered his mouth like he might be about to throw up. There was so much anguish in his eyes I couldn't stand it. I knew he would never surrender me to Hamiel, but at the same time he couldn't let his sister die.

"Enough." It was me that stepped forward this time, feeling as hollow as a drum inside. "That's enough."

If there was ever going to be a final straw in our story, this was it. I had seen enough destruction to last a lifetime. Nobody else was going to die on our account. If one thing existed that was going to break my resolve the Sevens just found it. And they knew it. Besides, we couldn't keep running and fighting for the rest of our lives, letting the bodies pile up around us. Who would be next? Someone had to put an end to it all. And I had the chance to do it. I looked at Xavier's face and all the grief he'd suffered was somehow reflected in his eyes. I only hoped this would be the end of it.

"I'm yours," I said to Hamiel. "I surrender."

Behind me, I heard Xavier let out a heartbreaking sound somewhere between a groan and a cry.

"No," he whispered. "Beth, no."

But I forced myself to block him out. "Let the girl go first," I said, trying to keep my calm. "Let her go and I'll come with you."

"What, don't trust me?" Hamiel sounded amused.

"Not at all," I replied.

"We live by an honor code," Hamiel said. "The soldiers of Heaven will stand by a deal. However, we don't know if the same can be said of you. How can we be sure you're not lying?"

"Because I know you could kill her in a heartbeat," I said. "So you win. Just let her go, okay? I'm not going to try anything."

Hamiel considered this for a moment and then nodded at the Sevens that held Nikki. They released her and she ran to Xavier, collapsing in his arms. He caught her halfway to the ground and hugged her tight to his chest, but his eyes were still fixed on me. It was Xavier's job to look after his younger sister and his wife. I read the failure in his eyes. I walked across to him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hamiel snarled.

"Just give me a minute to say good-bye," I said. "Just one minute."

"Make it quick."

It was the hardest minute of my entire life. Standing there at the Crags, looking at Xavier, I truly felt like the world had come to an end. At least my world had. This was the place where it all began, it was only fitting that this was where it should end. I took his hand, trying to memorize the feel of his skin against mine and bent my head to gently kiss the cool metal of his wedding band.

"Beth..." he began.

"Shh..." I pressed my finger against his lips. "Don't say anything. Just know that I love you." I let my hands run through his hair one last time. I never noticed how many shades of blue there were in his eyes. His tears looked like droplets of crystal on his cheeks.

"I can't lose you again," Xavier said.

"I won't be lost," I told him. "I'll always be watching. I'll be your guardian angel."

"No." His voice was thick and choked with tears. "This isn't the way it was supposed to end."

"We always knew I couldn't stay forever." I could hear my heart thumping so loud it almost drowned out his voice. But I couldn't let Xavier know how much this cost me. He was already in enough pain.

"We were going to find a way," Xavier said. "We were going to fight."

"We did," I said softly, glancing across at Hamiel. "We just didn't win this one."

"Please," he said, closing his eyes. "Don't do this to me. I can't go on without you."

"If you ever need me just close your eyes," I whispered. I felt like my chest was being torn in two and I could barely hold myself together. "You'll find me in the white place."

Xavier's eyes suddenly flew open and he grabbed my shoulders so hard it hurt. "You have to find a way back."

"I will," I said, trying to look as though I meant it. How was I supposed to stage a jailbreak from Heaven?

"Promise," he said. "Promise you'll find your way back to me."

"I promise," I whispered. "If there's a way back I'll find it."

Hamiel's voice cut through like steel. "Time's up," he said coldly.

PICTURES from the past began to flash through my mind. I saw our descent into Venus Cove, my old room at Byron, Molly crying, Jake laughing, Phantom sleeping on my bed. I saw my brother and sister in a blur of golden glory. I saw the flames of Hell and the bodies of the damned. And then I saw Xavier: Xavier on the pier, Xavier sitting at the wheel of the Chevy, Xavier in French class with a half-smile on his lips. I saw him on the beach and on the porch swing and standing at the altar waiting for me. I thought I was drowning in the blue of his eyes.

My reality was starting to crumble. I knew I was still holding on to Xavier's hands, but all of a sudden they weren't there anymore and my hands were hooked around thin air. The sand beneath my feet began to shift like it was sinking and I saw a light in the distance, growing brighter. Everything around me became blurry and washed out like a photograph that had been overexposed. The faces around me lost their definition, the voices merged together so they all sounded like nothing but a high-pitched whine in my ears. The light was growing brighter, absorbing everything around it. Soon it would absorb me. And then I could no longer feel my feet on the ground. I could no longer feel or see or hear anything other than a rushing, roaring wind and my hair streaming across my face.

I knew instinctively the earth was far behind me and the heavens were opening up to take me in. This was it. The moment I'd been dreading since I first set foot on dry ground. I was going home.

28.

They Tried to Make Me Go to Rehab THINGS were all wrong from the moment I got back. Although I never expected I'd be happy to return, I never realized how much it would feel like exile.

When I finally opened my eyes, I was inside the gates of Heaven. They stretched up endlessly above my head disappearing into the swirling whiteness. I turned around and clung to the golden bars, looking down at the world I'd left behind. Earth was a long way away from here. From the vantage point where I stood, it resembled a dark blue, textured marble suspended in space and covered in a white veil. It looked so beautiful it was hard to imagine its continents ever being ravaged by war or famine or natural disaster. It looked peaceful and protected, like it fit snugly in Our Father's spiderweb of life. Every part of me longed to go back. But there was no way back.

I turned again, this time to face the white wonderland before me, the air rippling with the color of opals, pale pinks, and the lightest shades of green like foam on the ocean. But I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I could see other angels around me, appearing as globes of light in the mist, darting here and there as they guided souls and passed messages through the chain of communication in the Kingdom. Everybody seemed to have a purpose ... except me. The only place I wanted to go was backward.

I wasn't even sure if I was in trouble. I had expected some kind of reaction, fury or punishment or condemnation but everybody was acting as if I didn't exist. So I stood there helplessly, dithering, unsure what to do until a voice spoke to me.

"Bethany," it said. "There you are. Welcome home."

I looked up to see a woman standing before me. She was wearing a crisp white suit and her hair had been wound into a neat French bun. Her fingers were manicured and she had gold-framed glasses resting on the tip of her nose.

"Who are you?" I asked without stopping to consider whether I might sound rude.

"I'm Eve," said the woman, pulling out a clipboard and making notes as she peered at me over the rim of her glasses. "Come with me."

I followed Eve because I had no other choice. I couldn't stand there at the gates indefinitely and I didn't know which division I belonged to. Was I still a transition angel? I doubted they'd credit me mentally stable enough to deal with the souls. So what was I supposed to do? That was the only life I'd ever known ... and my life on earth. So I followed Eve into what looked surprisingly like an office. A very clinical office.

One moment I had been in Heaven's marble foyer and the next I was sitting on a plump white couch with a white fur rug at my feet and a fat, purring cat in Eve's lap. She was sitting opposite me in a leather-backed chair, still silently inspecting me.

"So..." she said with a small, knowing smile, like it was a prelude to a conversation we were supposed to have. Did she expect me to say something in reply?

"So," I repeated stubbornly.

"It's been a very interesting turn of events, hasn't it?" Eve asked, nodding her head as if she could completely empathize with the situation. "Tell me, how do you feel about everything right now?"

"Is that a trick question?" I said. "How do you think I feel?"

"I see." Eve smiled again and scribbled some notes on her pad. "Well, I think we have some issues to tackle!"

She sounded like a camp leader trying to motivate her students.

"I want to go home," I said loudly, as if that might get through to her.

"Don't be silly." Eve tapped the end of her pencil against her clipboard. "You are home."

"Who are you?" I asked again. "Why am I here, talking to you? If you're going to excommunicate me, just do it already."

"Excommunicate?" she repeated, writing it down on her pad for good measure. "Nobody's being excommunicated today. I'm here to help you."