Gabriel looks at me now and I can see he's serious. He really would like to beat me up. I'm stooped over into the tent and it isn't very big and I feel awkward, so I kneel down.

'Do you want something?' Gabriel's voice is full of poison.

'Um. Yeah ... I think we need to talk.'

'Ha! Coming from you, that's almost funny. But strangely enough I'm not in a humorous mood.'

'I wish you'd told me that you thought Annalise had been caught.'

'I wish you'd told me about your attacks on the Hunters.'

'I did tell you.'

'You told me some things, afterwards, when you had to; when you couldn't hide them any more.'

'But you were hiding stuff about Annalise. The Hunters didn't affect you.'

'Didn't affect me? A group of eight Hunters that close to our camp? That close to Greatorex and the trainees?'

'But '

'You could have got killed by them, or wounded, and I would have gone looking for you and probably got killed myself.'

'But I was '

'I haven't finished,' Gabriel interrupts. 'I admit I hid my thoughts from you. I didn't tell you my suspicions about Annalise being a prisoner, because I was trying to protect you. You know I hate her. I'd love to see her dead. Part of me would love to see you rip her to pieces, but another part of me knows that would be wrong, not for me or for her, but for you. You're not yourself at the moment, Nathan. I didn't want you to kill her and regret it after. Everything I did, I did for you. You hid your thoughts and actions from me because of what you wanted for yourself. You were only thinking of yourself. As usual.'

I think I've lost at talking with Gabriel.

'You should go now,' he says.

I don't move. I don't want to leave. I still want to talk to him. I need to apologize. This afternoon I worked out what I need to say. I've just got to say it.

I take a deep breath and quietly and sincerely say, 'Gabriel, I'm sorry I spat at you.'

He stares at me and snorts. 'Wow. An apology.'

OK. So that's not what I hoped for. I say, 'I was angry. But I shouldn't have done that. I wish I hadn't.'

'No, you shouldn't have spat at me. You shouldn't have spat. In. My. Face. And, yes, I'm angry too. And apologizing, unique though I'm sure it is from you, isn't good enough.'

'What would be good enough?'

'Nothing. Just go.' He takes his eyes off me and goes back to his book.

We sit in silence for a bit. I think he may relent; he has to. He can't really mean this. Then he closes the book and looks up. 'You still here?' His voice is nasty.

'Gabriel, I '

'Nathan, I'm really, really pissed at you. I want you to go.' And I know he's serious.

I get up and leave the tent, walk out of the camp and keep going.

I run and keep running. I can run for hours, letting my body take over.

I stay away for the next day, and the next, and then more. I spend most of the time as an animal but some time as the human me, to think.

I'm scared that Gabriel has already come to dread me, like he was afraid he would. And I think about all the stories of Black Witches and how their relationships never last and always end violently. And then I remember how he looked at me and was so angry.

I think of my father and I want to be like him, as strong as him. In many ways he was honourable and totally honest. And I know he loved me. But he could be cruel and harsh and terrifying. I remember the story Mercury wrote in her diary about Marcus killing the witch called Toro. I never asked my father about that. I didn't want to hear the answer, because I think Mercury was right: he killed Toro simply because Toro annoyed him and because he could, because he really didn't care any more for Toro's life than for a fly's. And I love Marcus but I don't want to be like that. I don't want people to dread me.

Gabriel respected my father, but he also respects my White side, my mother's side. I never knew her, except through Gran, Arran and Deborah, all kind and thoughtful and caring people. I know I've come so far from them but I don't want to lose that half of myself.

I want to be a Half Code. I want to be Black and White, the best of both.

And now I want to see Gabriel, to tell him I'm not lost, that I do know who I am. So I head back to Camp Three. I'm not sure how many days I've been away, four or maybe five. It's a long way and though I run fast the weather turns bad, with snow and freezing wind. It takes me another two days. When I approach the camp it's dark and snowing lightly, though the wind has died to nothing.

I'm exhausted, dirty and hungry but all I want is to see Gabriel. This time I know the password for the sentry and give it properly and then walk slowly into the camp.

I go straight to Gabriel's tent and with each step I feel more sick with worry. What if he still won't talk to me? What if he hates me?

I see his tent but even from a distance I can tell there is no green light. And then my stomach is in knots, hurting me. I look inside the tent. There's nothing in there, not even his sleeping bag or book. What if he's left the Alliance without me? I wonder where Nesbitt is. He'll know. But it's late and snowing and there's no one around. And now I want to be sick. I know I've really fucked up this time. I go to the centre of camp, to the fire, maybe Nesbitt's there ... There's a figure, lying near the fire, alone, snow dusting his sleeping bag. Gabriel? I think it's him and I rush to him, scared I'm mistaken.

It's him. He's asleep.

I sit down near his feet. I'm so relieved, my stomach painful with tension. The snow is coming down in tiny, fine flakes. I add a couple of logs to the embers but the fire is nearly out. I still feel like I'm going to be sick.

Gabriel stirs and sits up. Maybe he wasn't asleep after all. He wraps his sleeping bag round his shoulders, though he doesn't move closer to me. We're a metre or so apart.

I stare at the fire and try to work out what to say, maybe apologize again or maybe say something about how I'm glad he's still here.

He says, 'You've been away a long time. Were you lost?'

And I feel like crying because his voice is still hard.

I say, 'Wounded, not lost ... maybe lost too. I dunno.' I turn to him. 'But I don't want you to be. Wounded, I mean. By anyone, especially not by me.'

'Then don't lie to me. Don't hide things from me.'

'I won't.'

'And don't ever spit at me again.'

'I won't.' And I know I won't. I couldn't. Not now. I can't take back what I've done to him but I can behave better and I want to desperately.

He says, 'You know I love you. Still. Forever.'

'So ... I'm forgiven?'

'I didn't say that.'

We sit and look at the fire, which is beginning to burn stronger. Gabriel says, 'You wound me in other ways, Nathan.'

I think of drawing the knife on him, all the times I've sworn at him and just been plain nasty.

He says, 'When we first met, you told me all about yourself. Recently, you've hardly told me anything. I mean, I don't want you ever to be a chatterbox, but you say I'm your friend. You need to talk to your friends.'

And it's true, of course; when we first met I did tell him about me, my life.

I shuffle over closer to him and say, 'OK. So what do you want me to talk about?'

'Tell me things, important things.'

'Like what?' And I wonder if he means about my father or my visions.

'Tell me about Wales. I want to go to Wales with you one day.'

And I smile and want to cry too. And I tell him about this special place in the mountains that I went to one summer: there was a small lake and I could climb the cliff behind it and dive into the water. And I tell him I'll take him there when the war's over. And I watch the flames some of the time and watch Gabriel the rest of the time and I know I never want to hurt him again.

golden.

I'm awake before dawn. The sky is brightening and Gabriel is asleep by me. The camp is still quiet. I've got the fire going. And I'm actually looking forward to the porridge when I feel a chill creeping into my bones and the greyness gradually slides over everything that I see. My vision, again.

The golden glow fills half the sky and the forest seems to glow with it. I'm walking slowly through the trees. It's as if I'm newborn and seeing the world for the first time. The air around me seems alive. It's all amazing. All beautiful. Every detail is amazing. And the details go on and on. The colours, patterns, shapes, sounds, temperature, air. I turn and see Gabriel. And he is beautiful too. He waves at me to come. He holds his gun loosely at his side. Nesbitt is the dark figure disappearing beyond him. I look back at the beautiful meadow and trees and sun and then turn to go to Gabriel. And I'm flying backwards through the air and the world changes to noise and pain and chaos and I land on the ground and look up and see sky and then see Gabriel's face. And the pain in my stomach is intense, burning, and moving to my heart. It's killing me and I know it.

I'm dying.

camp one.

Me, Gabriel, Nesbitt, Celia, Adele, Kirsty and Donna are on the way to Camp One. Celia seems to have taken Adele on as her personal assistant. Donna is being brought so that Van can make up a special truth potion that will give an answer one way or the other as to Donna's loyalties. Her hands aren't tied but Kirsty is glued to her side and, as Kirsty is almost twice the size of Donna, I'm fairly sure Kirsty can deal with her if she tries anything. Not that I think that's going to happen.

We will have to go through two cuts to get to Camp One, with a bit of a run in between them, but even so it will only be a few hours before I see Annalise. I'm not sure how I feel, other than impatient.

At the first cut Gabriel grasps my left hand in his right and we interlock fingers while Celia guides Gabriel's left hand to the cut. I take a deep breath as Gabriel is sucked through and I'm pulled after him and I breathe out as we slide through the darkness. The cut is so short that a faint light appears ahead immediately and then we're out and on the forest floor at the other side. The others come through and Celia sets off again. We keep close to her. The pace is slower than I'd like but we quickly settle into a rhythm. The woodland thins out to open meadows and there's snow on the ground.

I ask Celia, 'How far to the next cut?'

'A mile, beyond the river.'

I'm about to ask how far to the river when the ground steepens and we're jumping down a riverbank into freezing-cold water. The current is strong. And then we're scrambling up the other bank and running through knee-deep wet snow to a stand of trees.

At the next cut, Celia guides everyone through, holding me back. She says, 'Nathan, you wait and go with me.'

Once the others have gone through, Celia says, 'I need you to be clear on what you'll do when you see Annalise.'

'Don't worry I'm clear.'

'And what is it that you're clear about?'

'I told you: I want her to go to trial.'

Celia studies me. 'Is that the full truth of it?'

'I won't kill her unless the trial fails to provide me with justice. If they let her go, then I'll ... re-establish justice.'

'What if they say she should be imprisoned?'

'You want the full truth of it, Celia? I don't know what I'll do. But if they let her go then I will do something.'

'She won't go free. Not if the system works.'

Celia grabs hold of my jacket and slides her free hand through the cut.

At the other side of the cut it's raining a fine drizzle. Celia says, 'Nathan, stay close to me. It's a fifteen-minute run to the camp.' It's only when I say 'OK' that she lets go of my arm. Then she sets off hard.

Soon I'll see Annalise. I want to see her. I hope she's chained up. I want her to see me looking at her.

We must be almost at Camp One when Celia slows the pace, then stops. She looks around and I know from the way she stands and moves that something's wrong.

'What?' I ask her.

'There should be a lookout here.'

The others join us and Nesbitt asks, 'What's up?'

'I'm not sure,' Celia replies. 'The camp's four hundred metres ahead. Nathan, use your invisibility and check out the camp. Nesbitt, Gabriel, you scout the perimeter to the left. I'll go to the right with Adele. Kirsty, you wait here with Donna. Meet back here in five minutes.'

I go invisible and set off cautiously. I've only gone about a hundred metres when I hear a faint hiss. It's the noise that mobile phones set off in my head. No one in the Alliance uses phones. Shit!

I keep going, slowly. The hissing from the phones is barely there. But I creep onwards and it gets a little stronger. I'm still about two hundred metres from the camp. There have to be Hunters ahead. I move forward, not seeing any sign of them. Everything is still and quiet except for the faint hissing in my head.

Shit! It's too still, too quiet.

I run back to Kirsty and Donna. Gabriel is there as well but none of the others. I tell Gabriel, 'I can hear a hissing. It must be Hunters, but I don't know how many. I think they might be on the far side of the camp, getting ready to attack. I need to get in there and warn them. You tell Celia.'

'No, Nathan, wait.'