Hadda Pada - Part 7
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Part 7

INGOLF. Surely, when I tell her I don't love her, she won't try to hold me any longer.

KRISTRUN [looks at him suspiciously. In order to evade her glance, he bends over and takes her in his arms].

INGOLF. I will raise you, slowly and carefully, like a cup brimful of intoxicating wine. [Kisses her a long time. Raises her up. They hear footsteps outside, and listen.]

INGOLF. It is Hrafnhild. [Loosens his embrace.]

KRISTRUN [throws her arms around his neck, and clings to him]. Why don't you want her to see?

INGOLF [trying to free himself]. You are not so heartless, Kristrun!

HADDA PADDA [opens the door. In her hand, she has a bouquet of violets, freshly gathered. A subdued smile lights up her face. As soon as she looks in, her features become distorted with horror. She takes half a step backwards, holding her hand before her eyes, as if to ward off a blow. A feeble cry, filled with pain, as if torn by force from the throat is expressed in the word No!]

KRISTRUN. It is I you love! It is I you love!

INGOLF [tears himself away]. Let me talk to Hrafnhild alone.

Hadda Padda stands motionless in the doorway, so that Kristrun has to pa.s.s her.

INGOLF. May I close the door and talk to you? [Hadda Padda moves within the door frame, and leans against it.]

INGOLF. Hadda, you have seen now that I am no longer worthy of your love.

HADDA PADDA. I have seen nothing. [Throws the bouquet on the table, and sits down on the chaise-longue, with her face turned toward the window.]

INGOLF. Don't say that, Hrafnhild. Even forgiveness demands return, and I cannot return yours.

HADDA PADDA [_Her whole frame trembling_].

INGOLF. I didn't think you could mistake my att.i.tude these last few days. [_Both keep silent._]

INGOLF. But now-? from to-day on, you must try to forget me.

HADDA PADDA [_gets up_]. Forget--? why should I forget my lover?

INGOLF. Because he cannot be your lover any longer.

HADDA PADDA. Yes, he _can_; he promised. He promised to love me all my life.

INGOLF. He did not know what he promised.

HADDA PADDA [_sees Ingolf's hand without the ring, grasps it with horror, whispers_]. What have you done?--Ingolf, it cannot be true. It is not she you love. I saw you push her from you, when she clung about your neck. Say she told you a lie, when she cried. Only say something--say that suddenly an earthquake came, and she threw herself in your arms from fear. I'll believe you.

INGOLF [_shakes his head._]

HADDA PADDA. Ingolf, how could you be so hard? [_Hides her face._] Any other, any other--but _she!_ [_Weeps bitterly._]

INGOLF. It is not that, Hrafnhild. Now let us talk calmly. Even if you could, would you continue to be tied to a man who does not love you any longer?

HADDA PADDA. She has separated us. _She_ has caught you in the net of her wantonness. You, too, Ingolf, you, too.... When I looked at you, you could see my love in my eyes. But she, she looked at you through a veil of wantonness, so that your imagination might create what it liked behind it--? was that what attracted you? I gave you all that I had. She took back with the left hand what she had given with her right--was that what attracted you? Ingolf, do you value such a character? Don't you know how she is? I know you think she loves you. So she has told them all. Her love is a remorseless beast of prey. She does not even spare her sister, though she knows you are the only man I ever loved. But she MUST have this triumph--this one, too. Are you going to yield to it?

INGOLF. You are mistaken, Hrafnhild. It is not she who parts us. I feel that even if she did not exist, I could no longer love you as before.

HADDA PADDA. Haven't I seen you in each other's arms? Had it been any one else, Ingolf, any one else, I might have tried to bear it; but SHE, in YOUR arms, that thought I cannot endure... I have no enemy but her.

The blood that flows in her veins deceives. It understands the secrets of kinship, and knows what weapons can beat me.... She was but a little girl when I saw the smile of the conqueror in her look, if she felt that young men who called on us paid her greater attentions than me. But it did not touch me. I was no rival. In my heart, there was only place for you. Don't you see what life would be for me, should she triumph now, too.

INGOLF [keeps silent.]

HADDA PADDA [kneels down, grasping his knee]. Ingolf, for nine years have I run up the stairs at home, just as you did, on the day you went away--two steps at a time.

INGOLF. Get up, Hrafnhild. [He moves a step nearer to the door. Hadda is dragged along on her knees.]

HADDA PADDA [strokes her hand over his knee]. Ingolf, Ingolf,--

INGOLF [takes a step back]. Get up, Hrafnhild.

HADDA PADDA. Ingolf, I laid bare my love, to clothe yours. I did it, so that no one could take you from me. Do you remember when I gave you all a woman can give? The past closed behind me, and I was a different being. I took your head in both my hands. "Now you must always be kind to me," I said. "Always," you said. You are not kind to me now, Ingolf.

Had you not stripped me of the only support which a woman must have to bear life alone, I might have been able to endure it. But you have awakened pa.s.sions hidden in me, from the very depths of my nature.

Whenever you were away, they cried out for you with voices like children.

INGOLF. Stop, Hrafnhild. I gave you my word, it is true; but since I no longer care for you, will you still hold me to an old promise that was made when I loved you? HADDA PADDA [gets up]. Not an old one, Ingolf.

You aren't telling the truth now. [Pointing out of the window.] Is it old, the water that flows down the river? Hasn't every day we have lived together been a renewal of this promise?

INGOLF. Maybe, but one day the water stopped flowing.

HADDA PADDA. Now you have spoken the terrible truth. Your love was not rich enough, and you knew it from the first. You are not deceiving me to-day. You deceived me the day you made me believe that you loved me, but you were not strong enough to be sincere. You felt that the burning love of a devoted woman would give you a new spirit; that is why you betrayed me. [Sinks bending over the table, bursting into tears.]

INGOLF. You accuse yourself with these angry words. Why did you accept this insincerity for so long?

HADDA PADDA. Because I saw it too late. My soul was spirited up into the mountain, so that no disappointment could take me from you. But so it was. Often when you were satiated with pleasure, you failed to show me any regard. What could I do? Nothing but continue to believe that I would keep your love alive by the strength of my own. I know now, why you didn't dare to meet my look openly. Ingolf, you knew from the beginning, that you might meet a woman you could love more, but meanwhile you took me, intending to turn from me when that time came.

[Weeps.] If only I had never known you.

INGOLF. I remember a great many times--you said that you didn't understand how rich life was before you knew me, and that whatever fate would be, you would never regret having given yourself to me. Now I know how sincerely you meant those words.

HADDA PADDA. You don't hear how cruel your words are.--I know, Ingolf, I said it. I said it when I couldn't control my tongue for gladness.

But we never know ourselves until we stand on the edge between joy and sorrow, and now, having touched happiness, I cannot live without grasping it. I cannot, Ingolf, I cannot live without you.

INGOLF. Could you get any happiness out of life with a man who does not love you?

HADDA PADDA [silent, gets up, and walks up to the piano, leaning heavily against it].

INGOLF [takes out the ring, and puts it on the table].

HADDA PADDA [does not stir]. Ingolf, this is my last request. Don't make our separation harder than necessary. I cannot remain in your home when they all know it. Do me the favor of wearing the ring till I leave for home. You won't have to wait long. Will you promise me that?

INGOLF [holds the ring in his hand without answering].

HADDA PADDA. This is my last request.