Chapter Nineteen.

JUNE.

Jewls It would not be an exaggeration to say that was the best summer of my entire life. In fact, that doesn't do it justice.

The sun was out, I had a job, money, I had my own place, paid for by me, just me, ...I had a life, a life I had created for myself. And one I was very, very happy in.

Best of all, I had the most incredible boyfriend. Handsome, smart, funny and s.e.xy as h.e.l.l, Micah lit up my life like a beacon, changing me, helping me grow and giving me confidence, joy and love in abundance. I truly believed I could not possibly be happier. It felt like payback, for all the years I suffered with Andrew. Like the universe was saying okay, so we put you through h.e.l.l...but here's the reward. And what a reward.

I say I had my own home I was beginning to spend less and less time there and more and more time at Micah's house. And the more mornings I spent surrounded by Machvaya brothers in all their s.e.xy, bed hair glory, the easier it became. They got used to me, and I got used to them.

I was part of a family, a great family. A solid, impenetrable unit of loyalty, strength and love.

Life was...perfect.

Micah It was the summer of my dreams, spent with the girl of my dreams. I will always look back on it and smile, in spite of what followed. Before that summer I knew nothing of love. I didn't know what it meant to be so devoted to another person, so utterly besotted that they became the centre of your whole world. Jewls was my life, and I could not get enough of her. Practically every waking moment of every day we were together, we worked together at the park, and quite often she was there waiting for me at the end of a shift at Carousel. She spent almost every night at my house, to the point that she had virtually moved in without realising it, though I still couldn't get her to make the final leap of faith and actually give up her flat. I guess I got her reasons it was the first thing she had gotten and maintained for herself, a symbol of her independence. It didn't matter I would persuade her eventually, and in the meantime she was practically living with me anyway. On the nights she insisted on going back to her flat, I followed her and stayed there with her.

I couldn't get enough of her.

Jewls No sooner had we celebrated Micah and Marco's birthdays then June rolled around and with it, Marisol's birthday. Once again I found myself in the Machvaya garden surrounded by music, barbeque food and testosterone. Only this time, I felt like a proper part of it all.

We had a beautiful day in the sun, and when it had set, and I thought the day was almost over; Nic came out from the house with something under his arm and raised a hand to get the attention of his siblings.

"Okay, guys and birthday girl. It's time, let's go."

I frowned as they all began busying themselves putting their shoes back on and getting themselves together.

"Where are you going?" I said quietly to Micah.

"To the beach. It's a family thing. Come with us."

I looked around me and scrunched my nose up. A family thing. I wasn't family. I was sure Lisa qualified, but Lisa was married to Eli...that was the difference. Me? I was...an outsider.

"Oh, I don't think I should. If it's a family thing, I..."

"You're my girl, Jewls and that makes you family." he stood up and offered me his hand. "Please, come."

Hesitating for just a moment longer I sighed and accepted his hand as he helped me to my feet.

We all walked quietly down to the beach, not a word spoken and when he got there, Nic opened up what I could now see was a big paper Chinese lantern. He lit it with Eli's lighter and held it up.

We all stood in a circle together, the six brothers, Mari, Lisa and me and waited. Nic cleared his throat.

"We come here today, as we do every year, to remember Ruby Machvaya, our beautiful mamma, who pa.s.sed away nineteen years ago today. Mamma...we miss you, we will always love you and we hope we continue to make you proud. Eli, do you wanna...?"

We all turned expectantly to Eli and what I saw had me taken aback. His eyes were full of tears, but he hadn't shed a single one. They sparkled in the moonlight, almost betraying him. I fleetingly wondered what it must be like to live a life where you absolutely could not express your emotions simply because you were afraid you wouldn't be able to control them.

He shook his head slowly and took a subtle step back, as though feeling the need to create physical distance from the situation that matched his emotional detachment.

"No...I uh..." as Lisa took his hand and gave it a rea.s.suring squeeze.

Nic nodded his understanding, wisely deciding not to push it.

"I wanna say something," Mari blurted at my side, and then added, "If that's okay?"

Nic smiled, obviously surprised and nodded. "Course you can."

She nodded and let out a sigh. "To my mamma...who I never knew. You made the ultimate sacrifice to give me life. Your life for mine. I hope I do you proud, I try to. I might not have known you, but I still love you. Thank you for the gift of six...truly amazing brothers, you could not have left me in better hands."

The look that pa.s.sed between Nic and Mari at that was one I would never forget. It was total and complete respect, pride and above all, love. He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again, apparently deciding enough had been said. He gestured for Mari to join him and she did. Together they held the lantern up, and let it go.

As the wind caught it and carried it off out to sea we all stood and watched. Micah's grip on my hand tightened a little. I looked down at my hand safely nestled in his and up into his deep brown eyes and he smiled a little, and then pulled me to him for a hug, which I accepted gratefully. It had been pretty d.a.m.ned emotional, and I hadn't been prepared for it, not knowing what was happening beforehand like the others did.

Whilst he held me I glanced to my right, and saw Eli and Lisa. She had her hands on his arms, above his elbows, and she was trying to get him to meet her eyes. He was smoking a cigarette, nodding and trying to force a smile. Eventually she managed to get him to hug her and he looked over her shoulder, meeting my eyes and he winked discretely. I smiled back, unsure what else to do. This had obviously been painful for him, and he just didn't know how to express it. How incredibly sad.

A shriek of surprise and laughter, followed by a cheer, drew my attention away from Eli. I pulled away from Micah and looked to find Mari slung over Nic's shoulder. She was laughing hysterically, frantically kicking her legs.

"Micah, help me!"

Micah laughed and shook his head. "No can do, you know the tradition."

"How come it only applies to me?" she protested, still laughing.

Micah shrugged. "You reckon you're as tough as us boys, right? So...you can handle a little swim, surely."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "He's not gonna..."

Micah grinned at me and nodded. "He is." He kicked his shoes off and emptied his pockets, handing me his mobile and his wallet, and winked. "Hold my stuff babe."

Before I could say any more, Nic started to run for the breaking waves, with Mari still slung unceremoniously over his shoulder. All around me the other boys were pulling their shoes off, emptying their pockets of stuff and stripping down to their boxers, while all I could do was stare, dumbfounded. Lisa simply stood watching, laughing. I guess she was more familiar with these strange family traditions than I was.

Right before my eyes, Nic ran straight into the sea and I let out a gasp of shock, completely beyond my control. It was the North Sea, and even in June it had to be freezing. Sure enough, Mari let out a shriek loud enough to wake the dead when she was dropped in the water. I can't say as I blamed her.

And then they were all in the sea, splashing each other and laughing hysterically. Lisa appeared at my side and grinned, gesturing to them and shaking her head.

"They're some family, huh?"

I smiled and nodded. "Yes, they are."

Behind them, shining bright against the blackness of the night sky, the lantern that represented their love of the lady who had given life to this band of wonderful siblings took flight, rising higher until it was a dot on the horizon where the sea met the sky.

Micah The summer months are the busiest months of the year in the amus.e.m.e.nt trade and we both worked longer hours in July and August, but come September we were both due some time off, and I began to make some plans.

One evening in late August I was coming to the close of yet another shift at Carousel. It was close to one in the morning, and I had just finished taking out the rubbish, the last job before I could go home and sleep.

I came out into the restaurant to find Nic and Eli slouched on a couple of chairs at a table in the corner. Nic pulled a chair out and gestured to it.

"Have a seat little brother."

I poured myself a whiskey from the bar and did just that, smiling at them both. It had been a h.e.l.l of a shift and we were all feeling it. Nic actually had dark circles under his eyes and Eli looked like he could murder a whiskey and a cigarette. I got up again and got another two drinks, handing them to my brothers. Nic took a sip from his and let out a satisfied sigh, Eli drank his down in one. They were both exhausted and...potentially vulnerable. I decided I had my moment right here.

"What's on your mind, Micah?" Nic said, as intuitive as ever.

"Jewls." I said with an almost apologetic smile. What else was ever on my mind but the love of my life? "We both have a weekend off coming up. And I've booked a couple of nights in a hotel in Edinburgh, thought we could enjoy the city, do a bit of shopping, have uh...lie ins..."

Eli sat forward, grinning. "A dirty weekend, huh?"

"A respectable, cultural weekend away with my lady." I said, rolling my eyes.

Nic and Eli shared a look and then both burst out laughing. I sat back and let them have their fun. They were probably right anyway. The thought of me and Jewls completely alone in a hotel room for the weekend was pretty d.a.m.ned appealing.

Eli wrapped his arms around his chest, trying to compose himself. "Ah, Micah...that's the funniest thing I ever heard. So hang on a minute, when you say you have a weekend off, do you mean from the park, or here."

I winced. "The park..."

"Ah. So you're wanting someone to cover you here? Me, I presume."

"Well...yeah."

He groaned at that, as I had known he would. "Ah, f.u.c.kin' h.e.l.l Micah. You know I hate front of house...my place is in the kitchen. I f.u.c.kin' hate...well, people." Both me and Nic smirked at that. "Can't Marco do it? Or Luca or Kris."

"They're all doing full hours as it is. Come on bro, you were young and in love once..."

"I still am in love. And young...kinda. Feel f.u.c.kin' old sometimes with you lot around me."

I put my palms together. "Please, bro. Please, please. I'll make it up to you."

"You're d.a.m.n f.u.c.king right you will..." he muttered and I felt relief flood through me. Phase one success.

"You'll do it?"

"Just this once, but you owe me."

"Sure, sure..." I said, dismissively and then decided I might as well push my luck. "One other thing though...I thought while we were up there we could do a bit of exploring, get out of the city a little bit. And not have the stress of a train. So...I kinda need a car...?"

Eli considered that, and then his eyes grew wide. "Oh f.u.c.k no; you're not taking my car!"

Nic rolled his eyes. "Eli, do you have to swear between every d.a.m.n word? Micah is a perfectly capable driver, he'd be fine."

Eli held his hands up. "Okay...let him take your Merc, then."

"I can't, I need it."

Eli frowned. "For what?"

"Stuff!" Nic snapped. "I do have a life beyond this place, you know."

"Oh yeah, since when?"

I sat back and just waited. I didn't need to argue my case. They were arguing over which one of them was going to lend me their car. Sooner or later one of them would concede with neither of them realising that actually they could both say no.

"And what about me, I need my car too!" Eli protested.

Nic shrugged. "You can use Lisa's."

Eli scoffed. "Lisa drives a Nissan. You really think I would be seen dead driving a Nissan?"

"It's for one d.a.m.n weekend. Two days. You'll take good care of the car, right, Micah?"

"Right, of course." I nodded eagerly and just waited with baited breath.

Eli opened his mouth to protest again and instead let out a groan. "If there is so much as a scratch on the paintwork, I will chop your b.a.l.l.s off and feed 'em to the seagulls, you got that?"

I grinned, victorious and nodded. "Got it."

Nic stood up and stretched. "I'm going home, you coming Micah?"

"Yeah. Although...Eli, can I have a quick word first, yeah?"

"Sure, yeah. You go Nic; I'll drop Micah off when we're done here." He said.

Nic nodded, slipping his coat on. "Okay. See you boys in the morning."

He left and Eli turned back to me. "Okay, Micah what's up?"

I thought for a minute, choosing my words carefully. I had wanted to speak to Eli for a long time, just never gotten round to it. He was, after all, the only one of my siblings to be in a proper relationship, and one he had maintained for many years.

"You've uh...you and Lisa, you've been together a long time, huh?"

He smiled curiously and nodded. "Uh...yeah. Since we were thirteen. Why?"

"And you're still solid, yeah? Like you're...serious about each other, still in love, still..."

"Micah, she's my wife. That's pretty serious huh. I love the bones of her, you know that."

I nodded, I did. He wasn't a heart on sleeve kind of guy, but when he and Lisa were together, you could see it, plain as day. He worshipped her, even now after all these years.