Somehow, you and I have bonded enough for my vampire senses to perceiv e you as a lover ... as my mate."

"Your mate?" There was no way to hide my astonishment. He could have to ld me he really wasn't a vampire at all, but rather a shapeshifting were-c.o.c.kroach and I'd have taken the news better than this.

He smiled and patted my leg gently. "I expect nothin' from you and I can't even begin to understand how the h.e.l.l it happened. I shouldn't be tellin' you all of this, but you've a right to know. You've been manipulated enough by the men in your life. I'll not do that to you, love. Just promise that you won't say anything to Pallo and Caleb."

"I promise," I said, a little too fast.

James shook his head again. "You can't ever tell them. This isn't something that they'd take lightly. Pallo would kill me before he risked us becoming more than friends, Gwen. Caleb would help him, you know it's true. You've got to swear it and mean it."

My thoughts ran to Caleb and Pallo and to how odd they'd been acting in regards to James. "Oh G.o.d, I think they already suspect something."

"What makes you say that?""Because, they've been acting strange about me spending time with you.

And then ... err ... there's the whole thing about Pallo refusing to heal you."

"They most likely do sense something, but they've no clue what it is yet."

"But how do you know for sure?"

"I'm not ashes."

The reality of his statement sunk in. If Pallo would've had his way, James wouldn't be sitting with me now. I wasn't sure what to say that would prove I'd never betray James' trust. I meant it when I said I wouldn't tell Pallo. Short of writing it in blood, I wasn't sure what I should do. I let my instincts guide me, leaned forward, grabbed the back of James' head and pulled his face to me. My mouth slammed down on his before he had a chance to protest. I pushed my tongue and my magic through him, letting him have a tiny bit of my power.

Sharing magic wasn't something to be taken lightly. He would forever have a piece of me, a link to me.

I drew away from him slowly and stared into his blue eyes. "I promise."

"Well, now that you put it that way," he said, laughing.

Chapter 13.

I woke to find the sun out. It was a refreshing change after the last few nights. It was also refreshing to not have horrendous pains. I'd spent the greater part of the night doubled over with James stroking my hair and holding me like a child. I didn't want Pallo near me. I was too tiredof the emotional roller coaster we put each other on to want to deal with him.

Deciding to make the most of my day, I dressed quickly and set out to get things done. I needed to call Caleb and I desperately needed to clean my effects out of my office.

I crept down the stairs softly and headed for the phone. I dialed Caleb's number and waited for him to pick up. I was redirected to his voice mail and listened to his pre-recorded voice greeting me. "Caleb, it's me. I miss you. I've been thinking about the wedding. Maybe we should do it soon. I don't want to wait. The sooner the better. I need to talk to you about some things first. If you still want to marry then I say let's just do it! I don't need or want a big wedding. I just need stability--I need you." Relieved, I let out a sigh. "I love you and I miss you." I hung up the phone and tried to keep the burning in my chest to a minimum.

"Care to fill me in on what goin' on?"

Spinning around, I found James lurking in the shadows of the hallway. I'd learned that vampires didn't have to sleep during the day, they could still function, but they were a great deal weaker when the sun came up. I put the phone down and looked past him for any signs of Pallo or Caradoc.

"Caleb asked me to marry him."

James looked like I'd just told him that I was really a five headed Jack-in-Irons posing as a female faerie. It took him a minute or two to say anything.

"Okay, so what does this mean? Now, you're not actually entertaining marrying him are you? I mean, you've got to be 's.h.a.gged-out,' you didn't get much sleep last night, so you're not thinkin' clear this morning."

"Don't sound so surprised, he's a great guy, and I know he'll always be good to me, and I said yes and I meant it. And...."

James took a seat on the bottom step. He looked so out of place at the foot of the staircase in an old farmhouse, but it felt right to have him with me. "And what, Gwen?"

"And ... Caleb and I could start a family together. Not right away, ofcourse."

"Of course," he said, dryly.

I sat next to him and put my arm around him, pulling him close to me. "I need a friend right now James. For everything else, I have Pallo. He hates me enough for a hundred men."

"Gwen, that's not true and you know it."

"Do I?"

"Why do you think he goes full-on every time he's around you? Sure the guy walks around half-c.o.c.ked as it is, but the minute you step into the picture, he's back to having rage issues. You don't f.u.c.kin' act like that over people you could give a d.a.m.n about. No, you do that over people you love."

I laughed slightly. "And when did you become such an expert?"

He stared at me, his expression unreadable. I waited for a sign, a glimpse into what he was thinking. I got none.

"James?"

"The very fact that you don't know the answer to that tells me there's no point in explainin' it." With that, he got up and walked away, leaving me to sit by myself to think over what he'd just said.

Chapter 14.

I pulled into the parking lot outside of the Paranormal Regulator Department for our district. Of, course to the everyday average civilianthe place was just a building that housed several floors of law offices, a private investigation team, and other run-of-the-mill businesses. No one would ever guess what really went on behind the scenes. The place had more supernatural juice flowing through it than h.e.l.l itself.

The paranormal convicted offenders were held in various levels underground. It was way more high-tech than a normal prison and guarded more securely as well. If you wanted to go down there you needed level one clearance. Ken had it, and that meant as his a.s.sistant I did too. I'd only been down there once and had no intention of ever returning. It gave me the creeps.

I pulled my ID badge out and flashed it at the guard at the front desk.

He motioned for me to scan it and I did. Once I got the green light, I headed to the elevators. I waited for one of the mail boys to exit then climbed in and pressed the sixth floor b.u.t.ton.

"Gwen!" Judy yelled as the elevator doors opened. I braced for impact and watched her tiny frame come running at me from behind her desk. I gave her a hug and tried not to breathe too deep. She had a tendency to go a little heavy on the perfume.

"I'm so happy to see you. I keep asking Ken about you, and ... oh, dear, I guess I don't need to tell you how he is. So, how have you been? Are you back for good?"

Judy's questions seemed never-ending. I looked over her head of dyed red hair down the hall to Ken's office. His door was shut. Either he wasn't in or he was with a client. I answered as many of Judy's questions as I could before excusing myself and heading down to my office.

My office was adjacent to Ken's so my door was next to his. I stopped just short of touching his door and listened. I didn't hear him and normally you could hear Ken just fine, even through two-inch thick wood.

Opening my office door slowly, I looked around. Someone had closed my blinds and it didn't smell like Ken had opened the place up since I began working from my house eight weeks earlier. I walked over and pulled opened the blinds. Soft rays of sunlight filled the room. Tiny particles of dust floated about in the light. I smiled. It felt good to be back.

Even if it was only to clean out my desk.A thin layer of dust was on my oversized cherry desk. I ran my hand across and wiped the dust onto my pant leg before walking over to my closet. I rummaged around and found what I was looking for, an empty box.

I started with the bookshelves. Most of the books I'd collected had been gifts from Ken about supernatural creatures. Whomever he hired for his a.s.sistant after me would probably need them, so I decided to leave them.

I picked up the framed picture of the two of us meeting the Governor. Ken looked pleased and I looked lost--typical of our relationship.

My fingers ran over a framed copy of the Nocturnal Journal, a publication put out by the supernatural underground, and I couldn't help but get sentimental. Ken had made the cover for busting up a ghoul-fighting ring.

The interviewer had asked Ken some serious questions about the case and then broke into questions about his personal life. At the time the issue was released, we had been engaged. Ken told the reporter that I was his "rock, his supporting a.s.sistant, love interest, and soon to be wife." I'd been shocked to see that they'd printed a picture of the two of us that had been taken at a charity dinner. We were locked arm and arm, looking into each other's eyes with so much love that it brought tears to my eyes.

How could I have let it all go so wrong?

I put the journal and the framed picture in the box and moved on. By the time I'd reached the end of the bookshelves, I had over half the box full. I set it on my dusty desk and plopped down in one of the navy wing back chairs that clients used. I heard someone shuffling about in Ken's office and turned to see the door that went between our offices open.

"Gwen?"

Ken stood there in his dark gray pants and white shirt looking at me. I had almost forgotten how ma.s.sive his body was. He d.a.m.n near filled the doorway. He was built like a lineman. His above average height helped to keep him from looking awkward, and his love of exercise and health food kept him trim.

"Hey," I said.

His eyes darted to the box on my desk. He came in and shut the door behind him. "Gwen, no ... didn't you get my message? I didn't mean it. I don't want you to leave."He came within a foot of touching me and stopped. The last time we'd touched had been very intimate and very much in the presence of a third party. I'd had s.e.x with Ken and Caleb at the same time.

Hey, I know, I know, I should really pace myself.

"Gwen, come on, cut me some slack. I've been getting a lot of pressure to move on and I thought by telling you not to come back that I'd be doing just that. I was wrong. You belong here."

"Pressure from whom?" I didn't need to wait for his answer. I already knew it, Beth. He'd been dating her for two months now and was already getting pressured to sever all ties with his ex. It was clear, she and I were going to tangle. My guess was I'd win.

"I know I was wrong. I don't want you to go anywhere and that's all that's important."

I stood up and walked to the other side of my desk. I reached into my upper left-hand drawer and pulled out some more pictures and my address book. I tossed them in the box and headed over to the wall. I took one of my paintings off the wall and set it aside. I'd always hated the thing.

Ken had picked it out. I didn't see the point of having a huge painting with nothing but two blue lines down the center of it. He called it abstract. I called it a waste of canvas.

I turned the dial on the wall safe and popped it open. A large manila envelope was stuffed in it. I already knew the contents of it without having to look. Ken required me to keep a set of papers on hand in the event that I'd need to get away quickly. Apparently, it was standard operating procedure for persons working in the world of the supernatural to maintain cash, credit cards, IDs, and charms against being located on hand. Ken had a similar one in his safe. I moved it aside and pushed the Beretta out of the way. Ken had also insisted I have that as well. I never used it. I wasn't too crazy about guns.

I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach the back of the safe. Finally, I found what I was looking for. I felt the tiny box under my fingertips and pulled it out slowly.

"Gwen, did you hear me? I don't want you to go ... not just because I'mstill in ... umm ... I still care about you." In my own sick way, I found it funny that he couldn't even bring himself to say he still loved me. "I want you to stay because you're the best person for this job. Where else am I going to find a faerie willing to put up with me?"

He did have a point. He had one of those personalities that you either loved or hated. At the moment, I was up in the air on which way I was leaning. I pulled the tiny black box out and turned towards him.

"Here," I said, thrusting my hand towards him. "Sounds like you'll be needing this and please don't try to deny that the pressure to get me out of here isn't coming from her." I couldn't bring myself to say Beth's name. I barely knew her but I was positive that I didn't like her.

Ken glanced down at the box and put his hand over mine. Feeling his warm skin touching mine should have calmed me down. It didn't. "I gave this to you, I don't want it back--I don't ever want it back." He opened it up and the diamond ring inside sparkled. "Why do you have to do this, Gwen?

Why do you have to push me away so hard?"

"Me push you away? That's a good one! Did I call you at home telling you not to come back to work?" I pushed his hand off mine. The ring box fell to the floor.

"No ... no, you didn't, instead you just show up here and try to leave without so much as a heads-up or a good-bye, then you go out of your way to make sure I know that you're done with me." Ken came at me. I could see the hurt in his eyes. He was fighting back tears and crying was not something Ken did openly. "Gwen, we f.u.c.ked up, okay ... I can admit I was wrong, can you?"

"Caleb and I are engaged."

Ken took a step back and put his hand onto the desk. He reached up and loosened his tie. I'd never seen him so pale. I was afraid that he might pa.s.s out. His brown eyes narrowed as he ran his hand through his sandy blond hair. "Gwen, you can't be serious. You hardly know him. Sure somehow you knew him once, like two hundred years ago, but you know as well as I do that it's not the same, it's not real. What we had was real ... it was based off who you are now, not someone they wish you stillwere. Don't do this, it's a mistake."

Screaming in his face sounded wonderful, or at the very least kicking the ring box across the floor. I did neither. He was right. We had both been at fault for things not working out between us. In the beginning, it was because of Talia, the psycho biker b.i.t.c.h who was dubbed as the keeper of the hounds on her really demonic days. She had seduced Ken into bed with her and I happened to walk in on it. That had turned out not be his fault. It was hard to fight a vampire's pull. I knew that first-hand. I could have forgiven him and we could have moved on, but two other factors had come into play--Pallo and Caleb. Once they entered my life, I wasn't able to find room for Ken in that mix so he'd pulled away. I never tried to stop him. No, instead I'd hidden away at the farmhouse not wanting to confront my feelings for him.

Looking at him now, I knew that he'd hit the nail on the head. He knew the real me. The me that Caleb and Pallo had only known for two months.

He'd been the one that I'd shared my desires with, the one who helped me get some sort of a hold over my powers. Without him, I'd still be hearing others thoughts and would most likely be insane. It was Ken's love and support that allowed me to function among humans during a time when I wa s not only a danger to myself, but to others as well. That wasn't the only thing he did for me. He'd been the one who loved me based solely on the woman that stood before him now--just plain me. No hidden agendas, no ties from a past life, just him, just me.

Suddenly, the hair on the back of my neck rose and it felt like we weren't alone. I glanced around the room fully expecting to find someone but found nothing. Ken's gaze was locked on me. He didn't seem to notice the odd fluctuation in the temperature around us or he probably just a.s.sumed it was my doing. I went to say something to him, but he interrupted me.

"What? You're awfully quiet. I tell you that you're making the biggest mistake of your life and you don't say a word?" He snorted and shook his head.

The air around us lit with energy--energy that wasn't mine. I searched around for the source of it but nothing was there. The energy pushed against my skin and I caught the faint sound of a woman. She was singing.I'd heard that before. Where had I heard it before? I racked my brain and came up empty.

"No snappy comebacks, Gwen. No hitting below the belt? That's not like you Gwen." His face was so close to mine now that I could feel his warm breath on my cool skin. For a split second, I thought he might actually hit me and then his lips met mine. My body reacted wildly. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me. Ken tasted of fruit juice and mints. Slowly, we bit at each other's lips. His tongue pushed into my mouth and I playfully pushed it back out. This continued as our hands moved to touch anything accessible.

Ken pulled back slightly. "Gwen, we can't do this ... I can't ... we have to stop."

"I know."

The energy in the room pushed harder on us. Ken grabbed the back of my hair and fastened his mouth over mine.

I couldn't shake the feeling that something was in the room with us, watching us--wanting us to ravish one another. I tried to fight against its pull, but I couldn't. Part of me still wanted Ken and I knew that I always would.

I backed up until the large desk pressed against the back of my legs.

Ken's body weight increased on me and left me leaning over the desk. The box was in the way and I had to push it aside to be able to lie across the top of the desk. We'd done this before when we were engaged. We'd made love in his office or mine at least once a day. We had perfected the art of having s.e.x on office furniture.

Reaching up, I loosened his tie. I managed to get the first three b.u.t.tons of his white dress shirt undone before I was. .h.i.t with the scent of his Dolce & Gabbana. I had always loved the slightly fruity smell of it on him. I nuzzled my face into his upper chest and took a deep breath. Ken's soft fuzzy chest hair warmed my face. I licked him. He yanked his tie off and unb.u.t.toned his shirt more. I helped him with the last few and laid back for him to start on mine.

He dropped his face to just above my pant line and bit the edge of the sweatshirt I'd thrown on. He pulled it up and his chin sc.r.a.ped over mystomach. I whimpered. It wasn't even lunch time yet and he had a five o'clock shadow already. G.o.d, I'd missed him.

He moved my sweatshirt up and left one of the tiny tunics I loved so much between us. I untied the string holding it up, and pulled it from beneath my sweatshirt.

Ken's mouth met my exposed, erect nipple. I moaned softly, running my fingers through his sandy-blond hair. My body was starved for his touch and I pulled at him as he explored my exposed stomach and b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He undid my pants and I arched my head back with antic.i.p.ation. He eased them down over my hips and off my legs.

"Gwen?" He ran his fingers over my slightly swollen abdomen. "Is there something I should know?"