"What does that mean?"

"You always go around doing whatever you want."

"You don't even know me," I retort.

"Miku's been filling me in. Everything you do is impulsive. You don't think. Like the time your mom told you to stay in the car, and she came back and found you on the other side of the road nearly run over by a truck."

"That guy almost plowed into Ms. Charlotte. I had to save her."

"You ran across a busy street and risked your life to save a stupid cat you didn't even know."

"Don't you call her stupid. She's been with us ever since then. She's family."

"It was a stupid thing to do. You could have been killed."

"Yeah, then you'd have to find your precious Triplex by yourself. Is that all you care about?"

"What else should I care about?"

"Nothing. Forget it. Just go home!" I'm done with this back and forth.

"I told you, I needed to see you alone."

"Yeah, well, we're alone, so what do you want?"

"I need to know what it is you're not telling Miku."

"I've told her everything there is to know about me."

"No, you haven't. There's something that sets you apart. The council wouldn't have entrusted you with such an important object if they didn't think you were special."

"I'm n.o.body. Okay? I wasn't even meant to be here!" I shout at him. I am angry that he is forcing me to have to say aloud what I always feared to be truth.

"What? What do you mean by that?" he asks.

"Get out," I say with a mix of pain and self pity.

"This could be important. What do you mean you weren't meant to be here?" he pushes.

I close my eye and wish I had Reese's power. I would Blink myself to the other side of the world. I told Miku that my father had died before I was born. I couldn't tell her the truth. No one aside from Uncle Max knew about my father. I didn't want people to look at me and only see my mother's rape.

I feel that had I told them that I was a product of rape, they would see the crime and not the girl who resulted from it. My mother has been able to see past my conception, but she's special. Everyone else can't be counted on to do the same.

Marcus waits for me to open my eyes. He stands over me looking concerned. I'm sure it has to do with the Triplex, everything does. So what if I have to split my life open and lay it out on the table for strangers to view? So long as the world is saved. Is it wrong to want to keep a painful part of my life to myself? Is it wrong to be mad at the guy who's standing between you and Atourum?

"Emerson, I need to know."

"Just leave me alone."

He puts my medication on the coffee table along with a gla.s.s of water and walks out. The minute he does this I want to call him back. But what would I say?

"Hey, I know you don't know me but I'm falling for you and I want you to leave your drop dead gorgeous model slash angel girlfriend and be with me. Oh and by the way, I'm the product of the most evil and horrendous crime a man can ever commit. So... you wanna grab a bite?"

I'm in pain again. I take the pills and drink the water Marcus poured for me. But they are ineffective. I can't fault the pills. I don't think they're supposed to cure this kind of pain.

CHAPTER THREE: LUCKY NUMBER FIFTY-SIX.

The next few weeks don't get any easier. They are no closer to finding Julian. They are getting nervous because none of the leads had worked out. Even Jay was a little less jubilant than he used to be. I don't know what Marcus told the others, but for the next few days, they let me get some distance. Miku still follows me around everywhere I go, but she gives me more s.p.a.ce. They ask about my arm daily. I tell them it was all but healed. They make me go for another checkup. They also pay for me to go to physical therapy even though the doctor said I could do it on my own at home. Aside from that, they are pretty hands-off.

That's not what I wanted. I didn't mean that we couldn't be friends. I just meant that.... Okay, I'm not sure what I meant. But this isn't good. They need me to find the map and now I've pushed them away. Great, first I ruin my mom's life by being born and now I'll have a hand in ending humanity. This day calls for ice cream. Not the low fat stuff-the real deal.

I head to the kitchen and fix myself a big bowl of chocolate chocolate chip. I pour some milk for Ms. Charlotte and head into the living room. I turn on the TV, and, believe it or not, there are some decent movies on. But I'm not interested. I can't stop thinking about Marcus.

Not in the same gaga way I usually do. I'm thinking about what it means that he's the First Guardian. It can't be easy to be in charge of five angels and saving the world. Then, to top it off, the only clue he has goes and falls for him. That kind of sucks. It's not his fault I'm head over heels. It's not his fault I can't think straight when he's around. His job isn't to protect my feelings. His job is to save the world. Why should he have to put up with me and my emotions?

Well, I'm done playing the lovesick little girl. I'm gonna go over there and figure out a way to help them. And I won't give Ameana's boyfriend another thought. I get my coat, kiss Ms. Charlotte and head out to the angel house. I don't see them around outside, but I know they try to stay hidden.

I hop on the bus and head to the house. I recall the first time I had been here. I was so terrified. Now, I confidently run up the stairs and knock on the frosted gla.s.s door. No one answers. I knock again, nothing. The door is unlocked. I guess you don't have to worry about burglars when you can kill in like six different ways without even trying. I decide to go in.

I walk up the steps where I hear a conversation taking place. I think they're having a meeting of sorts. Everyone is seated around the table. Reese and Jay appear to have just gotten there. I guess they were on guard duty tonight.

"I'm sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to talk to you guys for second. If that's okay."

Everyone looks up at me. No one objects outright so I continue.

"I just came to say I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. Miku, I'll give you as much useless information as possible. I'll tell you everything." Well almost.

"It's not really your fault. We popped into your life, expecting you to tell us everything about you when we haven't really given you any info on us," Miku says.

"It's what you guys need to do to find the Triplex, so it's understandable."

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean the whole thing has to be so...," Jay answers.

"Businesslike?" I offer.

"Yeah, so we'll make it interesting for you," Reese says with a wicked smile.

"How so?" I question.

"We'll trade you a question for a question."

"Sounds good," I say taking a seat next to Miku.

Jay jumps in like he's been waiting forever to ask this question. "Who looks better? Me or Blinker Boy over there?"

"Don't worry, Mommy loves both of her boys equally," I say, knowing full well they're just teasing me.

"Okay, my turn. Why did you guys wait until mid January? Why not come as soon as midnight hit on New Years Day?"

Reese responds, "We had to check out some other information before we began the search."

"Information about what, and from whom?" I ask.

"It doesn't really concern you. We came to get you as soon as we could," Marcus says bitterly.

"I thought we were going to be open and honest with each other. C'mon, you guys are supposed to answer my questions," I say looking around the room.

"You asked a question and we answered it. Our turn," Marcus says with the usual tone of finality.

"Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Why are you alone?" Marcus asks.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't go to parties. You don't date. You don't even go to movies with friends. Why is that?" he digs.

His eyes are fixed on me. He's challenging me. Is he still mad that I kicked him out of my apartment? I thought angels are supposed to be forgiving. I refuse to blink or look away. I stay focused on him. The others become silent spectators.

"I'm not alone. I have my mom," I say with righteous indignation.

"Yes, and your cat."

"Ms. Charlotte, yes. It's just us three and we're fine with that."

"Really?" he asks dubiously.

"My turn. Why did you ask me that?"

"I'm just asking to get to know you. Isn't that the game?" he lies.

"What's your problem?" I say unable to hold back.

"You mean besides the little girl in my living room who's wasting my time, time that we don't have to spare?"

"I am doing the best I can to-"

"To what? Lie to us?" Marcus accuses.

"I'm not lying," I say trying to control my temper.

"You're keeping something from us."

"I'm not keeping anything from you," I bark at him.

He turns to Rio. "What is the color wave of a person who is lying or withholding the truth?"

"Gold" Rio says.

"And what color is Emerson?" he asks.

Rio hates being put on the spot. "She's reds and browns."

"Angry and frustrated, I picked up on that. What's the other color?" he asks. Rio looks at me. He's sorry for whatever he is about to say.

"Rio, what's the other color?" Marcus is no longer asking. He's giving him an order, never once taking his eyes off me.

"Gold," Rio says reluctantly.

"You will stop wasting my time," Marcus orders me.

"I don't owe you anything. You are in charge of them, not me. I will not be bossed around. I'm not your dog. And if you ever speak to me like that again, I won't help. See how far you get without your only clue."

His stare is dead cold and unwavering, as is mine. It seems that for the time being, we are at an impa.s.se.

What did I ever see in him? Why was I willing to fall for a guy I didn't know? Angel or no angel, he's rude and bossy. How dare he try and tell me what to do. Just because he has wings doesn't make him Omnis.

Anyway, my father has nothing to do with this whole thing. The clue is about my life. My father has never been a part of my life.

I am on the sofa not paying any attention to Cary Grant or his love interest. I just keep thinking about Marcus and how much I hate him. I mean it.

How does he know I don't go out? He's too busy looking for maps and having private talks with Ameana to know what I've been up to.

Anyway, I do so go out. I went out just the other day to get a DVD cleaner to clean my DVD player with. What does that say about me? It says that I am a good DVD owner. I take care of my DVD player, and I don't mistreat it.

I don't ask it inappropriate questions and then get mad when it won't answer me. I don't embarra.s.s my DVD player in front of other DVD players. No, I am good to it, and it is good to me.

Okay, maybe going to buy a DVD cleaner isn't the height of exciting. But it's rude and hurtful of him to call me out like that. I went over there to apologize and that's what I get. Guys. Wings or no wings, they all suck.

I promised myself I would not sit here and sulk. My mom is working another late shift so it's just me in the house. I don't know why she's picking up all these extra shifts. I hope it has nothing to do with my birthday coming up. I don't want anything fancy. She knows I'm happy with a $20 gift card to Barnes & n.o.ble.

I get on the phone and call Sara. We've both been too busy to hang out. I could use a non-angel friend. The phone rings five times and goes to voice mail. I leave a brief message about us maybe going bowling, and ask her to call me back.

I take a quick shower and find something to wear. I'm going out. I don't care where. I'll show Mr. 'Why Are You Alone.' I'll hang out and have a great time.

I put on the radio as I do my hair. They're playing oldies but goodies. I blast it and dance all around the apartment. Then my favorite Bee Gees song, "Staying Alive," comes on. I shake, rattle and perform with my hair brush mic. My imaginary audience of fifteen thousand is loving it. They shout my name and keep asking me for more. And, well, who am I to say no?