"Caroline, get out now!" The one with the cold blue eyes grinds out with impatience. "Get out now, or I'll hurt you so bad, you'll beg me to stop!"

The grave threat paralyses me with fear, but the memory of the excruciating pain awaiting me beyond the walls I've created in my mind prevails.

Chapter 21.

"She is human," the voice I know to belong to the green-eyes with golden speckles speaks up again. "Threaten her where it hurts most, and maybe I can bring her back."

"Threaten her with what?"

"Her humanity. Whomever she loves most."

No! I moan to myself in my dark corner, hugging my arms tight around my knees and pressing my eyes tightly shut.

"I have seen her with a certain brunette girl many times, we could threaten her." I choke back tears as I hear the voice I know to belong to the beautiful bronze-winged one.

How could she suggest such a thing? I thought I knew her, that she's my friend, but clearly they are all cold-hearted pragmatists who only pretend to care about me.

"What about her father?" The voice I know belongs to the brown-eyed one speaks up.

"Or her mother. I know where she is. I've overheard their conversations," the unmistakable sound of the blue-eyed one rings out.

"Or both of them," the green-eyed one says.

"Yes, good." Raphael confirms. "Ca.s.siel, bring me that map. Travel to this point, there are a few villages in the area. Ask them for the teacher, Weigesa is her name. They all know her. Bring her back with you."

No! I think, but no one hears me. No don't you dare!

"Ambriel, you know where to find her father," the cold voice continues. Bring him!"

I immediately jump up. I can't let them hurt my family, my friends! I begin clawing at the walls I've built in my mind. Screaming out to the angels to stop, but they do not hear me. My walls are strong, and hard to demolish. My nails start bleeding, or maybe they just do in my mind- but it hurts just the same. The grit from the walls I am clawing at stick into my fingernails as I claw on like one possessed, until I create enough room to squeeze myself through.

"Careful, Caroline. Don't step all the way out.. d.a.m.nation!"

"No...!" I moan out groggily.

"Hush now... Don't move" I obey the command without any protest, for any kind of movement is sending sharp stabs of pain up and down my body.

"She is back!" Azrael's annoying voice announces happily. I instinctively clench my hands into fists, wishing that I could sucker punch him right about now, but the motion sends waves and waves of excruciating pain through me, that I'm forced to take a step back again into the dark corner. There is just too much pain out there.

"She's gone again..."

"All be d.a.m.ned!"

"Caroline, dear?" Uriel's honeyed voice calls out to me. "You have to come out here, you have to let your soul rise."

She threatened A.M. I remind myself angrily. They are all ruthless monsters, despite their honeyed voices and angelic looks. There is nothing about angels that is sweet and loving. It is all about pragmatism and the end game. How many times do I have to remind myself of that?

"Caroline? Are you in a dark corner? If so, just step out to the light first," Azrael's voice says with concern, concern I remind myself not to bank on.

"Just to the light, no further," Azrael repeats. I remain put.

"Go get her parents if she won't..." Raphael's impa.s.sive voice starts.

"Don't. Hurt. My. Parents!" I rush to grind out between my teeth when I step out into the light as Azrael instructed, only this time I don't meet the pain I expected. Just numbness.

"She is back!" Ariel's voice exclaims, as he envelops me in a hug. I brace myself for the excruciating pain, but surprise myself at its absence. I pry open my eyes, squinting at the bright light beam pointing at my face. I loll my head to my side to try avoid the light.

"Shut off the light, Uriel!" Raphael's voice calls, and I am glad for his consideration when the beam goes off, leaving other softer sources of light to illuminate the room.

My eyes adjust slowly, and I make out the familiar stone walls from their cave. The smooth stone floor below is covered with pools of blood around the table I am lying on. It is the dining table we'd sat around and drunk tea like normal people.

Then I make the mistake of looking at my body. My face freezes with horror when I see the large open gash across my stomach, revealing my insides. A better inspection reveals large cuts and gashes on my limbs and the weird angle at which my right leg faces. I then note to my horror that my neck is placed awkwardly to my body. Is it detached? No, but it is slightly dislodged, so it must have been hacked at. How can it be that I am alive then? How can it be that I feel no pain?

"What's happening to me?" I croak alarmed.

"You are still dead," Azrael says with a shrug, the golden speckles in his green eyes gleaming as he looks back down at me.

"Oh my G.o.d..."

"So you're a human of faith..!" Azrael began with a chuckle.

"Be compa.s.sionate, Azrael," Raphael said sharply, and the angel of death feigned a demure face instantly, though his eyes still gleamed sardonically, betraying his true emotions.

"We've been trying for hours to retrieve your soul, princess. You fought hard against coming back, and the times you did come, you stepped too soon into consciousness, and the pain shocked you back."

"I feel no pain..." I whisper bewildered.

He nods patiently before responding. "Yes, you finally listened to my instructions and only stepped as far as the light," he says, the whisper of a cheeky smile at the corner of his lips, disregarding my obviously horrified state. "Now hopefully you won't be shocked by your body's pain when you step the whole way out..."

"Excuse me?" I ask terrified.

"Well, you do have to come out eventually. So I hope that seeing your wounds will prepare your mind for the pain, and hopefully you won't go back into shock once again..."

"Oh G.o.d!" I cry out again, horrified at the prospect of the pain waiting for me, as I stare at my extensive injuries.

"Don't worry," he says, his smile widening. "We're here to answer your prayers..."

"Azrael!" Raphael cautions impatiently, though his eyes remain fixed on me, as those of the other brotherhood angels are.

"All you have to do now is connect your soul with your body again," Azrael resumes, his face serious again, speaking as though a doctor prescribing a treatment to a patient, making it sound as though what I am about to do is the most natural thing in the world.

"How?"

"You have to let your soul feel what your body is feeling. Connect with it, the senses." Raphael's speaks up now, his icy blue eyes boring through mine.

"You mean I should feel the pain of all my injuries?"

"Yes, simply so."

"Are you freaking crazy, Raphael?" I go off, screaming at him at the top of my voice. "Have you seen my injuries?" He nods once, his face inexpressive.

"It will be excruciatingly painful," I mumble softly, my voice begging them not to make me do this. However the five faces around me keep staring back at me, their faces blank of any emotion.

"I won't do it," I say. "I choose death!"

"We can't let you do that," Raphael a.s.serts quietly, his gaze unblinking, his face unflinching. "You will live, Caroline."

I stare back astounded at his audacity. How dare he dictate to me about when I should live or die?

"It's my life..." I start.

"Soon your parents will be here. We will use them to get you to agree to do as told." I see the cold resolve in his eyes, and with that I know I've lost. He is my enemy, he knows my weakness, and is willing to extort it. I'll be a fool to call him bluff. I have never hated anyone more than I hate him right this moment.

"Heal me first, and I'll reconnect." I bargain.

"I cannot heal a dead body," he declares unremorseful.

I look at all of them deep in their eyes, puzzling over how any beings could turn out to be so cruel, so heartless. None of them blink, or even look remorseful. They all just stare back at me waiting.

"Tell Ambriel and Ca.s.siel to stop," I say quietly, giving in. "I will do as told."

Raphael nods to Camael in the far end, who pulls a phone from the back of her pocket, dials and begins to talk to someone on the other end. When her conversation ends, she turns and nods. I believe her, for despite what these creatures have put me through, they have never once lied to me.

Raphael now steps forward and places his hands gently on my chest, now that my stomach is gaping open. If I had been in a better mood, this would have been about the time when my body goes to overdrive at having his hands on my b.o.o.bs, or partly there. I wonder if my body will still react so now that I know just how ruthless he is.

I try feel myself, but nothing happens.

"How do I do it?" I ask the blue-eyed devil angrily, my jaw set rigid.

"I don't know." I roll my eyes at him, before looking at my stomach that is split open.

Here goes nothing! I close my eyes and imagine my fingers, and a sharp jab of pain shoots out at me.

Toes, I think right before the tingling shoots from the tips of my feet. Here we go, pain!

The foot bone's connected to the leg bone, The leg bone's connected to the knee bone, I start chanting to myself, imagining the parts of my body under my closed eyes; as excruciating pain soars up as I animate more parts of my dead body. By the time I am at the shoulder bone's part, the pain is so great that I am struggling against another overwhelming black abyss, trying to remember what part of me I might have forgotten.

"Start healing her!" Uriel's voice shouts pa.s.sionately from somewhere in the room.

"I cannot, unless she is fully back," comes the cold calm response. I try remember where I was, oh neck! Another bellowing wave of pain engulfs me, and I begin to beg for death. Anything but this.

"Please, please, let me die!" I beg amid gasps as the waves of pain rattle my body. I long for the darkness, to pa.s.s out. Anything, anything but this.

"No Caroline, keep going!" Raphael's voice calls with restrain. I groan soundlessly, muted by waves of pain.

They are true devils, for forcing this kind of pain on me. The neck, where does it connect next? The head.

"My head," I whisper, subsequently feeling the unfathomable spasms of anguish rocking my body.

I am surrounded by pain, engulfed by it, and I embrace it. Pain is the ragged breath I fight to take, that unconscious thought I fight to hold on to, that unsaid word on my lips as I cry out soundlessly, that unshed tear balancing in my stricken eyes. Pain is all I know at the moment.

But soon I feel something else, a searing warmth beginning at my breast, but my whole attention is still focused on the pain. I delve deep into the anguish, and an enveloping darkness comes over me again, as my body spasms involuntarily.

Then it's all gone.

"Caroline?"

"Yes?" I croak disgruntled, my eyes still tightly shut.

"How are you feeling?" Silence.

"Are you still in pain?" Silence.

They could be in control of everything in my life, even in my death, but I have decided on one thing- I will not let them into my heart or head again. I will not speak to them, or entertain them. They could enslave me to themselves by force, but that is as far as I will let them into my life.

"She is fine," I hear Raphael say to Uriel's questions. "Just a little angry maybe. She'll come around," he says unbothered.

Screw you! I scream in my head.

"I'll fly her home," he says before gently picking me up.

I lie limply in his arms, my eyes tightly shut, and the side of my face pressed against his chest. The bright sky darkens as we fly across the different time zones, and the air gets chillier as we fly northwards.

We finally fly through my open window, and stand in my room, my body still cradled in his hands.

"You have to take off those clothes, they are b.l.o.o.d.y and will frighten your humans," he says attentively. I remain silent, my eyes cast down on the floor at our feet.

"I will be right outside," he adds, stroking my face tenderly. Silence. He gives up on coercing an answer from me, and flies outside. I walk tentatively to the window, using my legs for the first time since dying, and close it shut against the night and its terrors.

I strip naked, noting the unscarred areas that a short while ago had been sliced open. Dried blood sticks in ugly chunks onto my body. I ignore them, getting into my bed and covering every inch of me.

I am so tired, but I don't fall asleep. I stare instead at my last piece of art still hanging on my drawing board against the wall. I don't know how long I stay awake, but I hear my dad's alarm go off. I listen to him shuffle into the bathroom, and then hear his footsteps as he walks into my bedroom. He pulls out a set of clothes from the wardrobe, and dresses up quickly. Just as he is about to leave the room, I call to him.

"Dad?" He starts. He had not expected me to be awake.

"I am so sorry. Did I wake you princess?" He says this quietly coming towards the bed. I snuggle in lower under my sheets to hide as much of my blood stained body as possible, and he only manages to kiss the tip of my nose.