_As the curtain rises_, PHYLLIS _is seated on sofa_ R., _doing some embroidery_. EVELYN _is toying with a book, seated_ L. _of table_ R.

MADGE _is at the head of the tea table, pouring tea_. FARADAY _stands to left of table_.

FARADAY. (_Running over the books in book slide_) Where is that army list? It's a great nuisance, not a sign of the army list. The army list has disappeared again. I wanted to write to General Partington this morning and I couldn't find out whether he was a K. C. B. or a K.

C. S. I.

(AUNT IDA _enters through card room in outdoor dress and comes directly down_ L.C. _She should show signs of nervous apprehension all through the opening of the Act_.)

MADGE. Tea, Aunt Ida?

AUNT IDA. Please. (_Nervously_) What's the matter, William?

FARADAY. The army list has disappeared again. I haven't seen one for months. Phyllis, will you ask Celia to order another new one? (_Sits left_.)

PHYLLIS I do, Father, every time, but Celia always forgets it.

AUNT IDA. (_Sits on edge of chair_ R. _of table_ L. _On tenter hooks_) Has the Times come yet?

FARADAY. No.

AUNT IDA. It's very late.

FARADAY. (_Getting up and getting m.u.f.fin-stand from below cabinet, setting it between his knees_) It is always very late. I eat much too much tea every day, waiting for that Times. It's not good for me.

(_Selects a big m.u.f.fin from stand_.)

EVELYN. But, Father, couldn't you make up your mind to restrain yourself?

(_Enter_ MARTIN _through card room_.)

FARADAY. I can make up my mind all right, but I can't restrain myself.

(_Bites into the m.u.f.fin_.)

MARTIN. (_Announcing_) Admiral Grice.

(_Enter_ GRICE _through card room_. MARTIN _comes down_ L. _of table to door_. GRICE _comes down to table_.)

FARADAY. How do you do, Grice? Have some tea.

(_All greet_ ADMIRAL _in casual tones_.)

GRICE. Thanks.

(MADGE _pours him a cup of tea. He takes it and crosses and shakes hands with_ LADY TRENCHARD _and_ PHYLLIS, _then goes and stands below fender_.)

FARADAY. (_Stopping_ MARTIN _at door_ L.) And Martin, see that another army list is bought. Send in to Lumley at once.

MARTIN. _Another_ army list, sir? Yes, sir. (_Exit_ L.IE.)

GRICE. (_In an injured tone_) Celia is not here!

PHYLLIS. She has gone to see old Wilson, young Wilson's father. There is a rumor that he's wavering.

FARADAY. _Wavering_! _Wilson?_ He has some influence, too. I do hate a station master who can't stick to his political principles.

GRICE. What's Wilson's trouble?

EVELYN. Compulsory vaccination. He can't spell it, so he's against it.

GRICE. Silly a.s.s! Well, if anyone can settle him, it will be _Celia_.

PHYLLIS. Yes, isn't she splendid? I believe Celia could make _anybody_ do _anything_.

AUNT IDA. Have you just discovered that?

GRICE. I don't think that's much of a discovery.

AUNT IDA. Nor I.

MADGE. Yes, but Aunt Ida, you never really knew Celia before.

AUNT IDA. Before what?

MADGE. (_Enthusiastically_) Before she was engaged. Before she let herself go, before she showed us all the _Celiaishness_ of _Celia_.

GRICE. There isn't a finer girl in England. (_Puts teacup on mantel_.) No, nor a finer dinner than the one I'm giving her to-night.

(_Enter_ TARVER L.I, _elaborately dressed and spattered with mud. He leans against jamb of door weakly. Everyone but_ AUNT IDA _starts in surprise at sight of_ TARVER. NOTE: AUNT IDA _does not partic.i.p.ate in this scene, being wholly engrossed in the matter of the Times_.)

PHYLLIS. (_Starting up, goes toward_ TARVER _a few steps_) Bobby!!!!

TARVER. (_Leaning weakly against door_) I'm dead to the world.

EVELYN. What has happened?

TARVER. The most awful thing.

PHYLLIS. It was that dreadful ordeal of laying the corner stone, I suppose.