Great Jehoshaphat and Gully Dirt! - Part 33
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Part 33

"Not yet. It's time for you to go get ready for your part."

"Now?"

"Yes, you run on back there and find Aunt Vic. And, hon, you do exactly like she says."

I found Aunt Vic, and I watched and listened as she and the schoolteacher sent the big kids out front by two's and three's to give their readings. Aunt Vic went through my piece with me again and had me whisper it to her three times. Then, right in the middle of Irene's verses about a hot Christmas pudding-and before I knew it was anywhere near my turn-Aunt Vic said I would be next.

"Sugar, repeat your recitation to me one more time now, real slow."

I rattled it off.

"Fine! You're just about the smartest girl I ever saw!"

Aunt Vic handed me Papa's rumpled hat that I had brought from home and told me to follow her.

"Hold the hat out in front of you, sugar. With both hands."

When Aunt Vic and I got out to the middle of the stage, she took a big breath and made her voice go high and clear. "At this time, our little walking tree will recite the old-time Beggar's Rhyme, and this will conclude our program for the evening."

To me she whispered, "Now, hon, lift up your chin and say it."

I started to look up, but I saw the churchful of people. I looked down at my feet, trying to think what to do. If I were home, I could crawl under Grandma's bed. I tried to think some more. The churchful of folks were still looking. If I could just be a crawfish instead of a Christmas tree, I could scoot backwards and hide behind the curtain! But Aunt Vic had stepped back there. She motioned for me to take my finger out of my mouth and say my piece.

"Christmas is-" she whispered.

"CHRISTMAS IS A-COMING," I started. "And, and, uh-" I looked back at Aunt Vic.

"The goose-" she whispered.

"CHRISTMAS IS A-COMING.

"THE GOOSE IS A-GETTING FAT!

"PLEASE PUT A PENNY IN THE OLD MAN'S HAT!

"IF YOU AIN'T GOT A PENNY,

"If you ain't- If you ain't- If-" I had to look at Aunt Vic again. She whispered, "Half penny."

"IF YOU AIN'T GOT A PENNY, "A HALF A PENNY'LL DO.

"IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO HALF PENNY, "G.o.d BLESS YOU!"

A roar of laughter swept the whole church, and everybody started clapping hands, even the school kids behind the curtains!

The clapping kept swelling louder and louder till it waked Ginger. He didn't like it. And I didn't either! He gave a shrill yip, jumped up, and came rushing up on the stage, barking at me like a big dog baying at a c.o.o.n.

The more he barked, the louder everybody laughed and clapped their hands. Finally Aunt Vic called Ginger, and Papa came and got me.

Papa started smoothing out the leaves of my dress. I didn't care about the dress any more! I grabbed him around the knees, begged him to sit down and take me up in his lap.

"No, no, Bandershanks! You go on and finish what Aunt Vic wants you to do. Pa.s.s the hat and then let her pin on the little presents. You're a walking Christmas tree! Remember? And trees don't cry! Now, scoot!"

I scooted! From one side of the church to the other, I ran back and forth in front of each bench. And every person I pa.s.sed dropped money into Papa's ragged old hat: pennies, or one or two nickels, or a dime, or two bits. By the time I came to the back pews, the bottom of the hat was sagging down. As Uncle Dan and the other men started tossing in four-bit pieces, it got heavier and heavier. The last people I came to were Mister Wes and Miss Lida Belle.

"You sure recited a nice little piece, hon," Miss Lida Belle told me as I squeezed my way between her thick knees and the bench behind me. She didn't drop any money in the hat, but as soon as she turned her head the other way, Mister Wes slipped in a whole silver dollar!

Leaning over close to me, he whispered, "Little lady, you see the pretty blue tie up yonder on the tree?"

"Yes, sir."

"I bet you, if you ask her, Miss Vic will fasten that fine tie on you and let you take it straight to the schoolteacher!"

Aunt Vic stopped calling out names long enough to pin the tie on my shoulder.

"Hurry right back, hon," she told me. "There are more presents for you to take."

"Where's Mister Shepherd at?"

"Right over yonder by the side door. Doctor Elton just got here, and he's talking to him and Captain Jones."

"I see him!"

By weaving my way in and out between people I got through to Mister Shepherd. I stopped and stood-straight as any tree-right in front of him. But he wouldn't quit listening to Doctor Elton and look down at me.

Doctor Elton wouldn't quit talking, either. He was so hoa.r.s.e he could hardly speak. Every word was just a croak. Doctor Elton smelled of medicine worse than ever tonight. He kept on croaking and frowning and chewing the stuffing out of his cigar b.u.t.t.

"Shepherd, the rascal has been hiding out down in Louisiana all this time! I wasn't surprised to hear it, 'cause I never did think he drowned. But I can't figure out how he bought a automobile! I'll ease up front and tell Jodie. But let's keep it quiet. No need to disrupt things and get the womenfolks and children in a panic."

While Doctor Elton was trying to get over to the center aisle, Old Man Hawk walked up and began asking him about the influenza ep-i-something-or-other down below State Line Road. The schoolteacher still hadn't seen me. He moved over and sat down beside Captain Jones.

I tapped on one of his legs. "Mister Shepherd! Mister Shepherd! Here's a present!"

"Why, h.e.l.lo, Little Tree!"

"It's for you!"

"My, how pretty! But it couldn't be for me. Let me see whose name's on the tag."

Just as Mister Shepherd leaned over to look at the slip of paper pinned to the tie, we heard a big rumbling and rattling -right outside the window. Then came a loud honking. I'd never heard such a horn before! Mister Shepherd jerked up his head, got to his feet, and turned around to Doctor Elton and Mister Hawk.

"Doc, you don't suppose that's-"

"It's him! Come to show off! A few of us men had better get out there. Shepherd, get word to the others. I'll go on." Doctor Elton b.u.mped against me.

"Green Tree Gal, step over a little so I can get through here!"

"Y'all lem'me get out too!" Mister Hawk was right behind the doctor. "I gotta go see 'bout my mule!"

When Mister Hawk saw there were so many people between him and the side door, he headed to the nearest window, raised it, and eased himself through.

Doctor Elton hurried on around me, but before he could get to the door, Papa came elbowing his way down the aisle, Uncle Dan right behind him.

"We'd better see who's out yonder, don't you think, Doctor Elton?" Papa was talking low, fast.

"I know who 'tis, Jodie! It's Ward!"