"Shocked that you're at mine."

She smiles. "You beat those guys pretty bad."

"Coach says I set a new school record."

Poe looks up at me and beams. "That's amazing. Congratulations."

I shrug as if this is the sort of thing I do every day.

"You don't seem happy."

"I was happy running. Now I'm just exhausted."

The track meet is still going on down below the stands.

"A record. Now you're a jock, huh? And I obviously don't hang around with jocks."

I laugh. "Why'd you bolt this afternoon when I saw you?"

She glances out to the football field below with those eyes so heavy and so full. Poe is sorta like a beautiful animal, like a bobcat or a leopard.

A black leopard, so sleek with those eyes, but also always ready to snap or bite back.

"It's no big deal," Poe says.

"Nobody was around, so I don't know why you had to-"

"Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"Just shut up, okay? I'm watching the meet."

I give her a look that says you gotta be kidding me, but she doesn't look back. I take a sip of bottled water and then look down below too. I'm too tired for any kind of drama this afternoon.

The sky is beautiful with pockets of clouds and an endless blue that I wish I could sail away on.

"Guys are pretty stupid," Poe says, surprising me.

"What?"

"Just hush, okay?"

"I thought that's what I was doing."

Then the black leopard moves over and kisses me on the cheek.

87. She's a Girl The cafeteria behind us is quiet, the lights off and the chairs and tables sleeping in the shadows. We sit on the end of a table that faces the front doors to the high school. The sun is just beginning to dive beneath the mountaintops far in the distance.

"If I had a phone-or maybe a life-I'd call my mom and tell her not to pick me up," I say to Poe.

"It's fine."

"You really don't have to stay."

She's sitting on the table while I'm standing, watching for the lights to come up the drive of the school.

"I'm not going to bite," she says.

I nod, then realize she means I can sit by her. Or maybe it means I should sit by her.

I'm still a little surprised at that kiss. Not freaked out or bewildered but ... curious, I guess.

Not long ago I would never have guessed that a kiss like that would come from Poe.

We're sitting side by side, and I'm quiet because I don't know what to say. Poe clears her throat and turns and faces me.

"Okay. I'm just going to get this out since I still stand by what I said earlier, that guys are stupid. You always have to be shown something. You can't just-you can't come up with it yourself."

She's talking in another language. Girl language.

Interpreter, please?

"Can't come up with what?"

"So that's why-if I don't do this, I know I'll forever probably regret it. The same way I regretted it when-when I should have at the very beginning."

"I'm lost," I say.

"You always are."

"Maybe."

"Do you remember the first time we came up to you at school? When you were wearing a Smiths T-shirt?"

"Yeah."

I think about that all the time. It was the first time I ever had a chance to talk to Jocelyn. Or talk around her.

"All you probably remember is Jocelyn, and that's fine. That's all anybody remembers, when it comes to the three of us. Which was always fine until-until you showed up."

I'm still lost.

"I wanted to come up to you, Chris. You probably don't remember it, but I called you cute."

I shake my head. Poe thought I was cute? When was that?

"I don't remember."

"Of course you don't. And then you got swooped up into the hurricane that was Jocelyn. And I knew it. I knew you would, but I always-I just thought ... hoped, I guess. I thought that there might be something there. I figured we had things in common, and I knew that the last thing Jocelyn wanted was a relationship. But of course, she fell in love with you."

I look away from her glance, down at the floor.

"And who wouldn't?" she says.

I can't quite believe her words, so I look back up at her.

"Why do you think I was so irritable with you and Jocelyn?"

"I just thought it was because-because everybody else didn't want me with her," I say.

"Yeah. But my reasons were different."

It clicks.

And yeah, I guess I'm pretty clueless.

"The only reason I'm telling you this-I'm not trying to bring up the past or make you feel bad or anything. It's just-today, I'd heard about the fight and was waiting to see what happened, and then I saw you and that girl. And I just-everything came back, Chris. Everything. Those conversations I had with Jocelyn where she said she wasn't interested and that we'd make a good fit."

"She said that?"

"Early on. And then everything-who knew? I still can't believe she's gone. I still can't believe that she really knew. I think she just wanted to escape. Or leave. Or ignore it. But you came along and changed all that."

"No, I didn't."

Poe looks up at me with an expression that's as soft and comforting as any I've seen in my life.

"You did everything you could, and you did even more than that. I know what you did for Jocelyn. I just-I was angry that you chose her, even though I always knew you would."

"Poe, I just-"

"Please, no. I only bring it up because today I saw it happening again. I don't know what you think and feel toward Kelsey, but I want you to know that there's another girl here. And you've been kind enough to allow her back into your life. And that girl still-still hopes."

This is too much. It's more surprising than setting some school record.

"I never knew."

She laughs. "Why would you?"

I shake my head, my mouth slightly open, ready to say something but unable to.

Then Poe moves and kisses my lips before they can say something stupid and ruin the moment. And for the second time in a short span of hours, I'm lost and I'm free and I'm full.

I don't know how long that kiss lasts, but it feels like a long time.

When our heads part, I see the beams of light in the driveway below us.

"Perfect timing, huh?" Poe says.

"I had no idea."

"Well, now you know."

I shake my head.

Poe smiles. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay. And we can talk."

I stand and feel dazed and confused for the right reasons.

She's still sitting there.

Not some girl hidden behind black and covered with anger and angst.

She's smiling and looking at me like someone who wants me, like someone who likes me, like someone who finally has told me the truth.

"Go on," Poe says. "Listen to some songs tonight and think of me, okay, Mr. Record-setting Track Star?"

I nod and smile.

It's only in the car that I realize I was too speechless to wish her good night.

But she's not clueless, so she knows why.

Girls know.

88. The Spaces in Between I've been working on this project for Iris all day and getting nowhere. I told her I'm not a writer and I really don't know what I'm doing. There are pages and pages of notes that I'm trying to cram into a school paper. Or not even that. Into some short copy for a brochure. I'm not the guy to do this.

I can't help but think about the past week.

The stuff that happened with Gus and with Kelsey. And then the track meet and the kiss with Poe.

I think about our conversation the next day. It wasn't any momentous occasion, just a passing conversation.

So I have an idea. Why don't you take me to prom?

Before I could answer, Poe smiled and told me to think about it. No pressure. No harm, no foul, she said.

I still never gave her an answer before the weekend came.

I'm thirsty and haven't seen much of Iris today. I go into the kitchen and decide to get a bottled water from the fridge. Then I notice something that I've been curious about every time I see it.

The pantry is at the end of the rectangular kitchen, with the refrigerator to the right, then the sink with a window above it. But to the left of the pantry there's a short, square wooden door in the center of the wall. Not really a door, maybe a half door, with a latch on it.

It seems random and out of place. I can't tell where the door goes because the house extends farther than this wall.

It's silent. Iris must be outside doing something.

The door isn't bolted. I decide to see what's behind it. Probably nothing. It's not like I'm a cat and curiosity is going to do anything to me.