"Off with her head!" was the next thing Isabel expected out of Gwen's mouth. But the queen seemed to be speechless.

So far Isabel's head seemed to be secure.

"You are such a kind lady, Gwen. What the hel ? What is wrong? I thought you asked me here to show me something real y nice. What is it?"

Gwen rubbed her temples. "Yes, we are here to see ... What are we here to see, Jenny?"

A young girl, probably a year or two older than Mary, stepped forward. "We are here to see the women's leggings, as you had requested."

"I suggested, I did not request. But I find it wonderful that you have set it in motion, Gwen."

"You have attempted to take over Camelot, Countess," Gwen said.

"Excuse me? I had nothing to do with this. We had a good chat and you thought it was an idea to pursue."

"Liar! The marriage of James and Mary was my idea. This," she said, waving around vaguely, "this was al my idea! You stole it. You stole it al from me."

"Okey-dokey, then. It's al your idea. No problem. No patents happening here."

Isabel glanced around and every single face was frozen in shock. Hers probably was as wel .

"Do you know if she's had a little too much wine this morning, Mary?" She watched Mary and the girl cal ed Jenny exchange worried glances, and then Jenny shook her head no and shrugged.

"Heretic!" Gwen yel ed.

"I don't have my handy dictionary with me, Mary, but isn't that a word that means witch or something?"

"I am not sure of the word witch," Mary whispered, "but I believe it means you are of the underworld. Of the dark forces."

"So I'm guessing it isn't a compliment?"

Mary was apparently too afraid to laugh.

"Gwen, how about you and I take a walk and talk about this?" she said, figuring she'd direct Gwen straight to the first pond and dunk her face in it until the woman sobered up.

"You wil walk me straight into hel ! You want my husband and my crown and my throne, and I see it al now."

Isabel turned to the closest seamstress. "Please go find the king. Find my man Tom if you can. But most importantly King Arthur. He wil know who else needs to be here."

The girl hesitated. "The king wil not trust my request."

"Please. Tel him that Isabel requests it. It is an emergency. He wil thank you. Now run behind me and out as fast as you can."

The girl glanced from her to Mary. Mary must have given her some signal, as the girl nodded and said, "Yes, m'lady."

Had to give her credit, that little girl had lightning speed.

But apparently Gwen caught it, and caught it in LSD time.

Or so Gwen appeared. "That was beautiful," she said. "Al others are al owed to leave as wel . They are innocent and have not tried to harm me.

You have."

"Then al ow them to leave. You and I can speak privately."

"No! They have work to do."

"It appears, Gwen, this is personal. Just you and me. No reason to involve anyone else."

"You stole James."

"James? You mean Mary's James? I don't even know the man, other than he's my friend's future husband and your husband's most trusted soldier."

"You would steal him from Mary as you stole Arthur from me." Gwen shuddered and then seemed to whither. She took several labored breaths before lowering her accusing arm. "I am so sorry. I do not know what is the matter." She shook her head. "Isabel, I wanted to show you the progress we have made on the breeches for women."

Okay, this wasn't crazy and this wasn't drunk. And this was so very far out of Isabel's knowledge and comfort zone.

"I have been watching, Gwen, and I'm very impressed. And I thank you for taking my suggestion and running with it."

"Your suggestion?" Gwen nearly screeched. "'Twas my idea. Mine."

At this point Isabel was hoping for medieval doctors to come in and take Gwen off to the loony bin. No such luck.

"And you wil in no way be part of the ceremony between James and Mary," Gwen said. "Al was my idea. And I wil have it as I see fit. Or they wil not have it at al ."

Isabel felt slapped in the face. At this point Mary was shaking. Isabel held on to her hand. "Should you in any way harm Mary because of my words or actions, I wil most definitely take her and James back to the safety of Dumont. Mary has done nothing but be my lady in waiting, or whatever you would cal her, and, I would hope, friend. I wil not al ow you to punish her for actual y having fun doing her job. And doing it wel . Now you tel me, Queen Guinevere, how you want to play this."

Again, Gwen was silent for quite some time. And then she did the funniest thing. She bent over in laughter, which shocked Isabel, and probably everyone in the room.

GWEN final y reined in her mirth, but in truth, it took some time. She had just been told to go to Hades by a woman who had walked into her castle and in less than two nights had won over the hearts of more castle staff than Gwen had been able to in the years she had been queen.

The countess had been rol ing on the floor with a servant, the two so happy.

Gwen had ne'er ever been close to such a relationship. Truth be told, it had ne'er even entered her mind. And right now her mind felt not so wel .

She could not seem to control her emotions.

"You may stop protecting Mary, Countess. I have no plans or desires to harm her wel -being. This I swear. We are going to have a lovely ceremony in the great hal for Mary and James."

Isabel, who was standing as a guard against harm, seemed to settle. "We accept that promise, Your Highness."

The countess turned to Mary. "Want a two-for-one bet on the best curtsy, Mary?"

Mary's red curls went wild as she shook her head. "No, mum, I believe we have strained the queen's patience as is."

"Truth told, you have not," Gwen said. "I apologize if I sounded impatient. I was anxious, only, to show you, Countess, what we ... what these talented seamstresses have put their hands to."

Isabel looked around. "Most appear to be making great progress."

Gwen smiled. "Yes, for the women. They should be ready by the morning fast."

It was quite satisfying to Gwen to see the look on Isabel's face. "You are attempting to take Arthur from me."

"Are you serious?" Isabel asked. "I was attempting to bring the two of you back together."

"That is true, my queen. James heard as much," Mary said.

"Liar!"

Isabel and Mary looked at each other.

"You cal her a liar, you cal me a liar," Isabel told her.

Gwen ignored this. "We begin my idea of playtime for al women one hour after breaking fast on the morrow."

She glanced around the room, and the workers who had stopped in midstitch for some reason immediately returned to their work in earnest.

"Oh, Gwen, thank you!" Isabel said, lunging forward and hugging her. "And I am so sorry for being snippy with you."

Gwen was taken aback, as she had ne'er seen such joy from another woman so blatantly displayed. But truth be told, she felt so very happy inside.

"So what wil our first playtime involve?"

"Wow, you have caught me off guard, Gwen. I never thought you'd pul this off so fast." Isabel peered across the room, then clapped. "My apologies for disrupting you ladies, but I'd like to have a vote."

"A vote, mum?" Mary asked behind Isabel's back, as a certainty stil afraid to come forward and face her queen. 'Twas a sad thought that Gwen had not treated the servants better. They had alas been tools to forward her desires and needs. She could not even begin to name many of them.

Not even the young lady who fled from the room. 'Twas sad and humiliating. She was a failure as a queen. In many more ways than one.

"How many of you want to participate tomorrow morning?" Isabel asked. "Please don't raise your hand if you don't mean it. Please only raise your hand if you are truly interested. And there is no punishment should you decline, yes, Queen Guinevere? It is not demanded of them."

"They are free to choose, Isabel."

"The queen has said so. You may choose yes or not, with no repercussions whatever you decide. Should you choose not to play, then that hour wil be yours, free to do whatever. As long as you do it making yourself happy. Hel , you can get naked for your men."

Many giggled.

"What play wil this be?" a lady, who did not even look up from her stitching, asked.

Gwen looked at Isabel, as she had no idea. "Countess Isabel, I am certain, must needs answer this one."

Isabel glanced around and final y said, "It al depends on the weather tomorrow."

At that very moment, the clouds opened up and a rumble of thunder shook overhead.

"Should it be inside the castle, then so be it. Have any of you heard of Duck, Duck, Goose?"

"As in the menu?" one asked.

"As in the game."

ISABEL and Gwen strol ed down the stairs. "Duck, Duck, Goose?" Gwen asked, with a smile.

"You have to start smal with women who have never known real play."

Gwen took a few steps before turning to her. "My deepest apologies for my surly mood back there."

Isabel nodded. "What was that al about, Gwen? I haven't known you long, but long enough to feel it was so unlike you."

"You two, you and ..."

"Mary. Her name is Mary. And she is about to marry Arthur's first man."

Gwen blushed. "Yes, yes, Mary. You were making a mockery of the curtsy to the queen."

Isabel's head dropped back so that she had a great view of the ceiling "Oh, please, get over yourself. We were having fun. It was no slight to you.

We were in a contest."

"It felt to me as a slight to my stature."

"Give me a freaking break, Gwen. Since when did you real y care about that? To this date, I have seen you only as gracious to one and al . Yet today your claws came out. For no good reason."

Gwen looked down, then her knees seemed to give out. She sat down on the steps, and Isabel sat with her. "What is it, Gwen?"

"I'm jealous, Isabel."

"Of what exactly? If you mean this morning, nothing happened between Arthur and me."

Not exactly true, but almost nothing happened. Much to her disappointment.

"This morning?"

Isabel wanted to shake herself. "What I mean is that we talked. As we always do, we talked."

There, that was true enough. They'd talked. Kissed and came close to naked and hot, sweaty sex, but those points didn't need to be included.

"'Tis not what is between you and Arthur that upsets me."

Oh, excel ent! Was that a green light?

"Then what?"

"I saw the funning between you and ..."

"Mary. Her name is Mary!"

"Yes, I am so sorry, Mary. I witnessed how happy she appeared in your company, and I felt the envy claw at me."