He tried all he could To be something good, But never succeeded.

He married two wives: The first good, but somewhat quaint; The second very good-like a saint.

In peace may they rest.

And when they come to heaven, May they all be forgiven For marrying such a pest.

On three infants.

If you're disposed to weep for sinners dead, About these children trouble not your head, Reserve your grief for them of riper years, They as has never sinned can't want no tears.

On a Drunkard.

The draught is drunk, poor Tip is dead.

He's top'd his last and reeled to bed.

On a Rum and Milk Drinker.

Rum and milk I had in store, Till my poor belly could hold no more: It caused me to be so fat, My death was owing unto that.

On Joseph Crump, a Musician.

Once ruddy and plump, But now a pale lump, Beneath this safe hump, Lies honest Joe Crump, Who wish'd to his neighbours no evil, Who, tho' by Death's thump He's laid on his rump, Yet up he shall jump When he hears the last trump, And triumph o'er Death and the Devil.

On Sir Isaac Newton.

Nature and Nature's laws lay hid in night, G.o.d said, "Let Newton be!" and all was light.

An Attorney.

Here lieth one who often lied before, But now he lies here he lies no more.

On Peter Wilson, Who was drowned.

Peter was in the ocean drown'd, A careless, hapless creature!

And when his lifeless trunk was found, It was become Salt Peter.

Here lies the body of an honest man.

And when he died he owed n.o.body nothing.

Good Friend for Jesus SAKE forbeare To diGG T--E Dust encloAsed HERE.

Blest be T--E Man Y--T spares T--Es Stones And curst be He Y--T moves my Bones.

Underneath this stone doth lie, As much beauty as could die; Which, when alive, did vigour give To as much beauty as could live.

To the memory of Mary Clow, &c.

A vertuous wife, a loving mother, And one esteemed by all that knew her.

And to be short, to her praise, she was the woman that Solomon speaks of in the x.x.xi. chapter of the book of Proverbs, from the 10th verse to the end.

Old Epitaph.

As I was so are ye, As I am You shall be, That I had that I gave, That I gave that I have, Thus I end all my cost, That I left that I lost.

Epitaph on a Bell Ringer.

Stephen & time now are even, Stephen beat time, now time's beat Stephen.

Here lies Elizabeth Wise.

She died of Thunder sent from Heaven In 1777.

On a Family cutt off by the Small Pox.

At once depriv'd of life, lies here, A family to virtue dear.

Though far remov'd from regal state, Their virtues made them truly great.

Lest one should feel the other's fall, Death has, in kindness, seiz'd them all.

George Hardinge much indulged himself in versifying, and a curious instance in ill.u.s.tration occurred at Presteigne, in the spring of 1816, a few hours before his decease. An application was made by Messrs.

Tippens, addressed to the judge "if living, or his executors," for the payment of a bill. The answer was penned by the Judge only three hours prior to his death, and was as follows:-