MJ shaded his eyes with his hand and watched Holly's bobber land. His gaze found Maddie, who was lowering herself into a chair across from Rachael at a patio table under a tan umbrella beside the boathouse. Her dark hair blew out behind her with a gentle breeze that shook the saw gra.s.s on the bank. There were times, like right then, when he was struck numb by how beautiful she was.

"MJ and Maddie sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Holly sang, watching him stare at Maddie. "First comes love. Next comes marriage. Then comes MJ in a baby carriage!"

Holly laughed like a loon, with no idea how much her words tortured him, and Sam joined in. "You kiss her, don't you?" he asked, making a disgusted face. "I will never kiss a girl."

"No. Maddie and I are just friends." MJ ruffled Sam's hair. "But if you never kiss a girl, you have no idea what you're missing. Your mom and dad kiss, right?"

"No!" Holly shouted. "That would be the grossest thing ever!"

She'd never seen her parents kiss? MJ glanced at Roger who ignored him and dug another worm out of the bucket. "Well, trust me. It's not gross."

Holly shrieked and Sam made gagging sounds, but kissing was instantly forgotten when Holly got a tug on her line. "A fish!"

She started jerking the line violently, and MJ put his hands over hers to guide her as she reeled it in. "Easy. Just like this."

The fish broke through the water and swung over the canoe like a pendulum. "I got it." Roger grabbed the line and pulled the fish over where he took it off the hook. "How about that?" He held the fish out for Holly to see. "It's small, but it's a keeper."

Holly clapped her hands together, thrilled, and Sam begged Roger to let him hold it.

MJ watched the three of them and glanced back at Maddie. He would have this for himself. It would be his someday. He wouldn't accept any less. He wanted it with her, and he'd find a way to get her back.

MJ didn't have a plan, but he did have a little nugget of leverage over Maddie.

He slid her diamond ring on his pinkie finger and left his room to find her. After they got back from fishing, she went to the pool with everyone else. MJ showered and took some time to gather his wits and steel himself to do whatever he had to do to get her to admit why she'd left him.

At the bottom of the stairs, Beck leaned in the archway from the entrance hall to the kitchen tossing an orange in the air and catching it. "Hey, Junior. I'm taking off to pick up your old man. Want to ride along?"

For a moment it felt like all the air had been knocked out of him, exactly like the night before when he'd tripped and fallen in the woods.

Merrick was coming back.

It wasn't a big deal, they'd already met and talked and everything was good. But, for some reason it felt like it would be their first meeting all over again. On Merrick's turf. Would it be different here on Turtle Tear?

"No," he said. "I'm good."

"You better go if you're going," Joan said, striding around the corner from the kitchen, her blond hair flowing over one shoulder. "There's a tropical storm headed his way. It's supposed to be on top of us by nightfall."

"I'm goin'," Beck said, brushing her off.

Joan frowned and walked between them, down the hallway toward the lounge.

Beck peeled a hunk of skin from his orange. "Some things are easier to get into than out of, if you know what I mean." He winked and handed MJ the piece of peel before following Joan. "Nice ring by the way," Beck called back over his shoulder. "Your boyfriend give you that?"

"f.u.c.k off," MJ muttered as Beck's boisterous laugh echoed off the walls and high ceilings.

Deciding he'd rather avoid Beck and Joan, MJ left the hotel through the hulking hacienda door that led to the front of the property. Beams of sunlight filtered through dark, rolling clouds. Thunder rumbled in the distance. The wind blew and he breathed in the scent of citrus.

An orchard of lime trees stood across from a white, crushed sh.e.l.l courtyard with a cl.u.s.ter of huge, brightly painted clay pots in the center overflowing with flowers and vines.

He made his way across, sh.e.l.ls crunching underfoot. The limes smelled so sweet, he had to pick one. Not to eat, just to feel its weight in his hand, hold it under his nose and know this moment was real. He was here. His dad was coming. Maddie was here with him.

A sharp crack of thunder rang out and he glanced up as he reached the orchard. The sky was threatening, the air filled with electricity. The hair on his arms stood on end.

MJ reached up and plucked a leaf from a branch in front of him. He tore it into pieces and tossed it to the wind, watched it swirl and drift over the crushed sh.e.l.ls. Turning back to the tree and reaching up for a lime, his eyes fell on the woman from the woods.

She stood far within the trees, hidden in the dark watching him. Her white dress had been exchanged for a long, black one, a halter dress without straps. Maddie used to have a blue one just like it. He loved the easy access he had when she used to wear it. Maybe that's why he was imagining his make-believe woman wearing it.

"Let her go," the woman called out, her voice deep and raspy. "You can't trust her."

"You're not real," he said, pulling a lime off of a branch, closing his eyes and inhaling its scent deeply.

The lime was real. The woman wasn't. She'd be gone when he opened his eyes.

Except she wasn't.

"Let her go," she repeated. "She's a liar."

"Shut up!" he yelled. "I don't know you. I don't trust you."

"You should," she said. "Because I know more than you, and I know you can't be with her. Let her go."

MJ let out a snort of laughter. "You don't know anything." He let the lime roll off his hand and fall to the ground before turning and walking away.

Was she real? Was she a phantom his broken mind kept throwing up in his path? A mythological Fate sent to warn him away from Maddie?

Lightning flashed soundlessly, blinding him from his path for a second, causing him to freeze in his tracks.

Maybe he shouldn't trust Maddie. She refused to talk to him, to tell him what he'd done to make her leave.

Not trust Maddie? The thought was as foreign as... well, as having his father in his life.

He had to get off this island before every last thread of his sanity unraveled.

Twenty-Two.

Maddie helped Rachael gather towels, tanning lotion, and rafts. Riley rushed around closing the awnings on the pool bar while Heidi herded Holly and Sam out of the pool. "That was lightning," she yelled to her kids. "Get out now!"

Tucking a pool noodle into a storage closet inside the cloister that surrounded the courtyard, Maddie closed the door and turned to face MJ. He had a strange, almost deranged look on his face. "Where've you been? Everything okay?" she asked.

He ran his hand over his face, transforming it back to normal, or normal with a hint of anxiety. "Yeah. Beck went to pick up Merrick."

"I heard the helicopter leave and Rachael told me he was on his way back."

MJ turned and ambled to a hammock. He fell back into it and closed his eyes, gripping the sides and she caught the flash of the diamond on his pinkie. "My ring," she said, darting forward to retrieve it.

MJ fisted his hand. "You know what you have to do to get it back."

"Why are you wearing it?"

"Because-"

Rachael, Heidi and the kids traipsed into the cloister, and MJ stopped talking.

"You two coming in?" Heidi asked. "You won't want to get stuck in this storm."

"In a minute," Maddie said, eager to get rid of them. This was her chance to get her ring back.

"Where's Dad?" Sam asked.

"He was taking a walk," Heidi said, leading them out onto the path. "He's probably at the hotel already."

Maddie waited for them to get out of earshot. "You're wearing it because..."

He smirked. "Because I can. It's mine until you give me what I want."

She pushed him, sending the hammock swinging. "Why are you doing this to me?"

MJ grabbed her hand and pulled her off her feet. She landed on the hammock half on top of him, half beside him. "I'm not doing anything to you," he said, brushing her hair out of her face. "You're the one who doesn't know what she wants. I know what I want."

He cupped her face and traced his thumb over her bottom lip sending tingles through her body. She touched the tip of his thumb with her tongue, and he pushed it farther into her mouth. Maddie closed her lips around it and closed her eyes. The small, intimate act sent her heart and body reeling.

MJ pulled his thumb from her mouth and she opened her eyes to stare into his. She never knew what she'd find in their depths. They always held a concoction of emotions and if she examined them long enough she could piece them together.

The regret was there, as it had been since she came back. And l.u.s.t. The l.u.s.t was easy to spot in MJ's eyes. She thought she saw a flicker of hope, and it made guilt and sadness flare inside her chest.

There was no hope, MJ. He had to know that.

He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. "Why can't you tell me, Mads?"

The corners of her mouth twitched down and she couldn't fake a smile or stop the frown from forming. A ball of emotion clogged her throat, and her nose burned with unshed tears. "It'll hurt you even more. How can I tell you?"

"Don't be afraid of hurting me. I've already hit bottom without you." He smoothed the creases in her brow with his thumbs.

How could she even think about devastating him while lying here, watching his long, thick lashes brush the top of his cheeks when he blinked, running her fingers through the dark waves at the nape of his neck? She'd give anything for a smile right then, to see those incredible dimples, and the flash of laughter in his eyes.

But there was nothing to laugh about. There were only two parts of one very broken relationship lying in a hammock, one attempting to pick up the pieces and glue them together, and the other holding the knowledge that they could never be whole again.

Thunder echoed. The palm frond roof shook. "We should go in," she said, bracing her hands on his shoulders to get up.

MJ pulled her back down. "Not yet."

She held his eyes again and saw determination. She'd missed it before. "What do you want from me?" she asked.

"I want it all, Mads. I want my life back. You took it away, and I'm taking it back." He balled her hair up behind her head and pulled her to him. His kiss wasn't gentle. It wasn't urgent or rough. It was possessive. Undaunted.

If she hadn't known before, she knew now-MJ wasn't giving her up without a fight.

She broke away from the kiss, breathless and confused. The past year and a half flashed before her eyes. She'd forced herself to move on, but why hadn't he? "MJ, have you been with anyone else since?"

"Since?" He lifted his brows. He wanted to hear her say it.

"Since I left?"

He squeezed her hair tighter, making her lift her chin. "No," he said, narrowing his eyes. "There is n.o.body else. There never will be. You're mine. We both know it."

It wasn't a question of knowing it. They simply couldn't be together, and it was exhausting. Together and apart, the rush of emotions, the guilt and despair. "I can't do this anymore."

"You don't have to."

The wind howled and whipped through the trees. Rain broke free of the clouds and fell in sideways sheets, a sprinkle barely reached them and caused Maddie's skin to break out in goose b.u.mps.

MJ's fingertips glided down her neck and across her shoulders. Maddie stood on a cliff and could either turn and walk away or jump. Walking away was safe, it was living a stable, content life. She'd get her life in order and be happy. Even if her soul was always scrambling and searching to fill the emptiness.

Jumping from the cliff was being with MJ. Sometimes he made her feel like she could fly. He had so much love for her, it would carry her like a current of air and never let her fall. He'd been her world for as long as she could remember. He was every good memory, every tragedy, and every moment in between. MJ was her family. He was her past and for a time, he was the promise of her future.

"Do you think," she began, then stopped, not sure how to say what was on her mind.

"Do I think what?" He picked up strands of her hair and let it slide through his fingers.

"Well, in twenty years do you think we'll look back on this and it won't seem so significant? Will all of these feelings dull over time?"

MJ took a minute before answering her. "It depends. If we're together in twenty years and have the life we planned with a home and kids, then this time right now will have been a b.u.mp in the road. A big b.u.mp, but one we got past."

He lifted her chin with the edge of his fist. "If we aren't together in twenty years, then right now will still be the most significant time in my life. My last chance to have you. If I fail, the pain of losing you will never dull, never go away."

All Maddie knew was the slow, syncopated rising of her chest and his breathing in and out, her heart beating against MJ's. This moment would last forever for both of them. How they remembered it depended on her.

She couldn't see twenty years into the future. She couldn't see tomorrow with her heart and mind so conflicted.

She let her head fall to his chest and closed her eyes. His warmth and the sharp spatter of rain on the walkway lulled her into a thoughtless daze.

Maddie wasn't certain how long they'd been lying under the cloister roof in the hammock when MJ's body tensed under her. She lifted her head and heard it. Helicopter blades.

The sky was practically black now, the rain relentless. The wind battered the roof of the cloister and bent the trees in half. "This can't be safe to fly in," she said.

"No, I wouldn't think so." MJ helped her sit up and the two of them gazed out into the rain, glistening as it blew through the glow of the outside lampposts.

Beyond the whomp of the blades, the engine began to whine, louder and louder as it neared.

"That doesn't sound good," MJ said, taking her hand. His palms were sweaty and cool.