You moan, sending vibrations through your lips. I buck, my back arches off the bed. "G.o.d, Merrick."

I can't think. My body is nothing but sensation and greedy l.u.s.t, striving and pulsing for release.

"Your almost there, baby. G.o.d, your gripping my fingers so f.u.c.king tight."

You set me back down on the bed and stroke yourself. The sight makes my mouth water. "Let me." I reach for you, grabbing your shoulders and pulling. "I want you back in my mouth."

You turn around and position us in a sideways sixty-nine. "I hope you're okay with this, because you taste like heaven, and I'm not taking my tongue away until you come."

Before I can answer, you dive back between my legs, devouring, pushing your tongue inside me. The cries and moans filling the room can't be from me. I've never made sounds like this during s.e.x. "G.o.d, it feels so good," I whimper, taking you in both hands.

I run my lips down your shaft, darting my tongue out to taste you. Your lips and tongue mirror mine. "Show me what you like," you say.

"Everything. I love it all."

"How about this?" You slide your tongue down my middle, circle my opening and keep going, back to my a.n.u.s.

I clench and jolt forward into your chin. "I don't...I've never..."

You reach down and fold your hand over mine, loosening my death grip on your shaft. "Relax, baby. We'll save that for another time." You kiss your way back to my front, pressing my thighs open. "There's so much I want to do to you."

Right now there's one thing I'm dying to do to you. I suck you deep into my mouth trying to take your entire length, but failing. You're too big and hit the back of my throat. I pull back and delve down again, sucking and flicking my tongue.

"s.h.i.t." Your release a hiss of air through your teeth and pull me in tighter against your mouth, relentlessly sucking my c.l.i.t.

Heat expands like an inferno inside me, urging my body to thrust and rock against you. I grab your hips and take you in and out of my mouth at the same pace. I moan and suck you harder and faster as my o.r.g.a.s.m builds and builds.

"Oh G.o.d. Oh G.o.d, Merrick, I'm coming." I explode, cry out and throw my head back, locking my thighs around your face as my insides throb and grip. You draw it out with your fingers pumping in and out of me.

"Yes, Rachael. You're perfect." I open my legs and come back to my senses to find you stroking yourself.

I lick your head as you pump. "Give it to me. Come in my mouth."

"f.u.c.k, Rach!" You shudder and stroke hard twice before erupting on my tongue. I swallow all you give me and lick my lips.

You roll to your back. "Jesus. I think I died. Twice. And I haven't even been inside you yet." You grab my foot and kiss my big toe.

"That was better than any s.e.x I've ever had. I can't imagine..."

"I know." You sit up and turn around, lying beside me on my pillow. The look in your eyes can only be described as wonder. Your finger trails over my chin, down my neck and between my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "I've never been so in sync with someone in my life." You kiss me, soft and slow, smelling and tasting of my pleasure. "Physically as well as mentally." Your lips press against my forehead. "I've always wanted to find you."

I snuggle into your warm chest, trying to ignore the finger jabs in my brain telling me to slow down. Last time we were together, you wanted a threesome with Joan. How has that changed? Has it?

"What are you thinking?" you ask, twining your fingers through my hair.

"About Joan."

Your fingers still. "What about her?"

"You're obviously pretty close to her, comfortable with her. She's more than your a.s.sistant."

You lift my chin and kiss me deeply. "Don't." Your dark eyes search mine, pleading. "She doesn't mean anything to me. What we had was physical. It began abruptly and ended after it was out of our systems. Because I trust her and have been with her in the past, I thought she could help us. I was stupid-as usual. Please don't hold it against me."

"How can I not think about it, though, every time you're together? You didn't hesitate being with her again."

"With you, Rachael. Only with you. I would've never been alone with her. It's not her I want." Your arms tighten around my waist, pulling the length of our bodies as close as you can get them. Your cheek presses against mine, your lips scour my neck with kisses. "Believe me."

I need time to think. My head, heart and body jumped at the chance to start over with you. Now I'm back-pedaling. I want you, and I can forgive you, but I can't forget. I keep stumbling over memories, over the hurt you've inflicted in the short time we've known each other. How much more is to come? How much more can I take and push to the back of my mind?

"I barely know you," I whisper. And it's the truth. We've been led by our bodies, our unrequited desire. Inside our bubble on Turtle Tear it was real. Outside the bubble, I'm not so sure.

"You know me better than anyone else does." You brush the hair off my forehead and stroke my cheek with your thumb. "You see past the money to me, the f.u.c.ked up man inside. I try to keep him hidden, but I can't hide from you. I don't want to hide from you; I want to be better for you."

"There's nothing f.u.c.ked up about you." I twist my finger through a wave of hair falling over your brow. "You have a communication problem, that's all."

"You don't think I'm controlling?"

I twist and tap my lips. "You? Controlling?" I laugh. "You couldn't control me if you tried, Merrick. My mother already does."

You roll onto your back with a sigh and rest your arm over your head. "Exactly. She's the reason I'm in this d.a.m.n mess. If you would've just come to work for me, I wouldn't have acted like such a jacka.s.s." Your eyes crinkle with the quirk of your lips. "I blame her. You should to. Then you'd trust me, and we can get on with things."

"Things?" I grin and shrug my eyebrows suggestively.

"Things." You run a hand between my legs. I sigh and close my eyes, rubbing against your fingers. "Later, baby." You take your hand away and kiss me, soft and slow. "We have all the time in the world if you want it."

"I want it...now. I can't have you laying here beside me naked and denying me. If you don't want to, then we need to get dressed."

"Oh no!" You laugh and tug me on top of you, tickling me. "You're not going to say I don't want to. You know that's a lie."

I laugh so hard with your fingers digging into my sides, I can barely breathe. "Stop!" I try to push you way, but your arms come around me and hold me tight.

"Just think how good it'll be when you trust me, Rachael. When it's the right time. Thinking about it..." You roll your eyes and groan. "It's hard, but I can be patient. When you're ready to give yourself to me completely, it'll be better than anything."

Hearing the sincerity in your voice, and seeing your face, so serious and intense, I feel like a gift you're waiting to unwrap. I trail a finger down the side of your face and brush my lips against yours. You're a gift. I know you are. A gift forced upon me at first, but now that I've had a peek at what's inside the box, I know you're a gift I never want to give up.

"I can't believe I'm lying naked in the bed you slept in as a little girl." You wrap the ends of the quilt around us. "It's not somewhere I ever imagined being with you like this."

"It's nice." I run my lips down the bridge of your nose. "I always wanted a guy in this bed with me."

"I bet you were a h.o.r.n.y little teenage chick, weren't you?" You poke my side, making me squirm.

"You have no idea."

Your eyebrows shoot up and your dimples blossom in your cheeks. "Girls Gone Wild?"

A spurt of laughter erupts from my throat. "Hardly. I was shy. I had one boyfriend for six months of my senior year."

"He was the lucky one, huh?"

I thread my fingers through your hair, loving how the silky smooth locks feel running between them. "I wouldn't say lucky, but he was the first."

You raise you head and nip my neck. "He was one lucky b.a.s.t.a.r.d."

"What about you? Tell me about your first time."

Your eyes follow your finger across my collarbone and your expression sobers. "It wasn't altogether memorable."

"You have to remember your first time."

You grimace, but only for a second. "It's hazy."

"Were you drunk?" There's a story you're hiding from me. You said you didn't want to hide.

"No. It's more like selective memory. I selected not to remember it." You squeeze me and kiss my shoulder.

"Why? Was it bad?"

You nuzzle into my neck. You won't look at me. "I was young. Too young."

"How young?"

"Twelve."

I shove your shoulders down so you have to look at me. "Twelve? Merrick! How?"

You smirk. "I think you know how, Rachael."

I purse my lips. I don't need sarcasm right now. "With who? Did you want to?"

You laugh. "h.e.l.l yes I wanted to. I shouldn't have, but I wanted to. She was fifteen. The babysitter. Heidi was asleep. Dad wasn't home."

"Wow," I whisper. "The babysitter. Did she initiate it or did you?"

A crease forms between your brows. "I'm not sure. It just kind of happened. It was fast." You chuckle. "I'm sure you can imagine my prowess at twelve. Two Pump Pete."

"Did you use protection?"

You drop your eyes and shake your head. "I had no idea what I was getting into."

"You were too young. She didn't..."

The words get pregnant linger unspoken between us.

Your eyes close. You're barely breathing. "Her parents paid a visit to my dad. They said they'd take care of it. I never found out how they took care of it."

I bolt upright, straddling you, slapping my hands over my mouth. "Oh my G.o.d, Merrick. You could have a kid out there somewhere."

You shake your head, your eyes wide with panic, and grab my thighs. "No way. It's not like I'm hard to find. She would've had me in court paying back child support by now. She would've taken me for millions if she had my kid."

"Have you tried to find her? How can you not know? Doesn't it drive you crazy?"

The corners of your lips tug down, and you turn your eyes from mine. "I don't know her last name." You pat my leg. "My first and probably biggest f.u.c.k up."

I grab your chin and make you look at me. "Your dad probably knows her last name and what happened. You need to ask him."

You hold my wrist and ease my hand from your face. "I won't speak to him for any reason."

I curl my arms around your hand and hold it against my chest. "He-or she-would be about twenty now. Someone to take over your business since you're so h.e.l.l-bent on hiding out at the hotel and dropping out of your current life."

Your chest expands and your face tightens into a pained expression. "Don't," you whisper. "Please. I can't think there's anyone out there."

I lean back down, my chest against yours, and slide my hands under your neck. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not a good man, Rachael." Your voice cracks. "I can't be someone's father. I'd be no better than my own."

I sit back up and poke my finger into your chest. "That. Is. A . Lie. You know you wouldn't be like him. He abused you. You wouldn't do that."

You pick my hand up and squeeze my finger. "I wouldn't call it abuse. That would mean he didn't ignore me entirely."

"Neglect is abuse. He neglected you, didn't he?"

You shrug. "He got me a babysitter."

We both burst out laughing even though it's not something to find funny. At least it relieves the wave of sadness that had washed over us.

"Fine. I'll let it go. For now." I trace my fingertip over your lips then lean down and kiss you, first your upper lip, then your lower, teasing and tender. "I'm glad you told me. This is how you get me to trust you, by opening up to me."

"I'm an open book for you, Rachael. Ask me anything."

I'm addicted to your lips. "I would if I could stop kissing you long enough."

"Ask me later." You grab me in a bear hug and roll me back over with your lips pressed to mine, both of us laughing.

This is real. We're not in Turtle Tear, but it's real-a new real, somewhere to start at least. And I like how we're starting.

"This is new," I say, taking a bite of my burger. We're sitting at an outside table under an umbrella at a small restaurant downtown.

You swallow a sip of your c.o.ke. "What's new?"

"Us eating together." I wink.

You grin. "Only because we're in public." You reach under the table and pull my foot up onto your lap, nestling it right between your legs. "But we can be discrete."

I tap my foot against you lightly. "You must trust me to be in this position." I pop a fry into my mouth and giggle.

You make a throaty, growling sound. "I trust that you want me to be able to use it sometime in the near future."

The waiter stops at our table and glances back and forth between us. He knows he's interrupted something very personal by the embarra.s.sed look on his face. "Can I get you anything else?"