"You made it." Her voice was husky, as if she might be choking.

"Was there any doubt?"

She stopped in front of him, swallowed hard and shook her head. "No, of course not. But it's good to see you." She pressed her palm to the cut on his head. "Since we're taking Patsy to the hospital, you can get this looked at."

He didn't tell her he was using an experimental drug for an experimental program and he needed his own doctor, he simply caught her hand and pulled her to him so he could taste her wild, exotic flavor and lose himself in the dark excitement of her soft mouth.

CHAPTER 15.

Saber really didn't like Dr. Eric Lambert. He and Lily Whitney-Miller had arrived at the house with Captain Ryland Miller in the evening after things had settled down in order to take care of the cut on Jess. She expected to dislike Lily, knowing the woman knew all about her past, yet it was Lambert who set off her initial alarms.

Unlike Lily, Eric Lambert wasn't a GhostWalker. He might work with them, but he had no firsthand knowledge of what they suffered, what their lives were like. He studied them, and he patched them up when they went down, but the bottom line was, he experimented on them-just as Peter Whitney did.

The GhostWalkers were government assets. Resources. Weapons. They thought of Lambert as their friend, but he thought of them as a top secret arsenal. It was next to impossible to watch him interact with Jess and Lily as if they were his friends and colleagues while listening to his elevated heart rate and smelling his fear every time she got near to him. And it was tempting to get near him. To offer her hand when she knew he was so afraid. And damn Jess for telling Lambert about her abilities.

She stared out the window in Jess's bedroom into the rain, wishing everyone was gone so she could go yell at him. Pick a fight. Make it easy to leave. Lily and Lambert knew. And if they knew, eventually the government would come knocking on the door and expect her to do a little job for them. She'd told Jess it would be like that, but he'd given her up anyway. He was too trusting, thinking everyone was his friend. A big happy family.

Moron. Idiot. Naive. She pushed the heel of her hand hard against her forehead. What is wrong with you?

Saber? Jesse's voice sounded in her mind.

Whoops. She was really distracted to make such an amateur mistake. It was exactly how she'd given herself away in the first place. She was so connected to him, she barely noticed when she reached for him anymore.

Well, you're an ass. You told that slimy little doctor Lambert about me. I told you what would happen once everyone knew. He's a government man. In a couple of weeks we'll be getting a knock on the door and an engraved invitation to some social event where I'll get to use my special talents for the good of mankind.

That's not true, baby. First of all, Eric's not like that and he's not "everyone." Second, I didn't tell him. He doesn't know.

He knows.

There was a small silence while he digested that. Are you certain? You're tired and maybe a bit cranky.

Saber sucked in her breath. Cranky? He thought she was cranky? Her blood pressure was shooting through the roof, she wanted to scream at him, but she forced a calming breath to stay under control. He knows and I'm not cranky, I'm angry. I can fight one enemy, but not several, not all at once. He's government all the way and he'll trade all of us in in a heartbeat if he's given the order.

Frowning, Jess cast a brief look at Eric Lambert. The doctor looked the same as he always did, laughing with Lily, teasing her about how she looked as if she'd swallowed a basketball. Saber didn't know him and she was so worried about anyone finding out about her past. There was no real way Eric could have known. Saber was seeing things where they didn't exist. You're paranoid. And exhausted. Why don't you go to my room and lie down. Eric's sewing up the cut and they'll leave. We'll get some sleep and you'll feel much better.

First I'm cranky and now I'm paranoid? Saber's voice went low. Cold.

Jess winced at the ice in her voice. "Lily, come on. Enough already."

Lily studied the cut on his head, frowning as the blood continued to seep in spite of the hours that had passed since he'd first been injured. "I told you to be careful. We're using Zenith on you and that drug is dangerous."

Eric held up his hands. "I'm going to wash up."

"You know where the bathroom is." Jess waited until he was out of the room. "You assured me that you were going to destroy the file on Saber."

"I did." Lily straightened up, stretching her back out.

"But you told Lambert about her?"

"No, of course not."

"Why of course not?" Jess took the pill she handed him. His head was throbbing. They'd spent most of the morning at the hospital, staying with Patsy while the doctors ran tests and treated her wounds. Once they knew she was in good hands-and he'd put a guard on her door-Jess and Saber had returned home and waited all afternoon for news from the cleanup crew at Patsy's house. Saber still hadn't been to bed and she still intended to go to work. She wasn't-he was going to make certain of that-but she needed sleep desperately and so did he. He just wanted everyone gone so they could be alone and he could hold her.

But Saber was wrong about Eric Lambert knowing the truth about her. Jesse hadn't told him and neither had Lily. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"He isn't one of us." Lily ducked her head. "That sounds terrible, Jess, and I don't mean it that way, but he could never understand our lives. If Saber stays, she's going to have to be protected. Her skills will have everyone after her, even the good guys-especially the good guys. And what Whitney did to her as a child...He forced her to kill animals, animals a little girl would love and want to have for pets. He put her in the position of having to have perfect control or kill a friend-another child-toddlers even. How can a child get over that kind of trauma?"

Jesse was glad to hear Lily refer to her adopted father as "Whitney." She was finally coming to terms with the fact that he was a monster beyond redemption, and she was beginning to distance herself from him emotionally. Jess was certain that was a good thing. "I didn't think about that."

"You wouldn't, Jess-you came from a loving home. Saber wouldn't have known what a mother and father was, not for years. She grew up training. Her life was all about rigid rules and constant learning. What do you think those first few years were like?"

He was ashamed to admit he hadn't given it much thought-at least until he saw the pictures of her childhood.

"It's amazing that she's still here with you, that she could learn to trust anyone as much as she does you. You're probably the first person she's ever confided in, or shared any of the real Saber with."

She was making him feel worse by the moment. He hadn't wanted to think about Saber's trauma, or even acknowledge there was a threat if she stayed with him, because he didn't want to lose her. "She's probably being paranoid, but she thinks Eric knows about her."

Lily went very still. "Jess. Why would you doubt her? She was raised in a world even you can't comprehend. She has to be very sensitive. We haven't even begun to discover what she can do with her abilities. When a GhostWalker 'thinks' something, it's most likely true. Look at you. Until you were in that chair, you hadn't developed your ability to move objects and yet now you're incredibly strong. You 'thought' you might be able to do it and played around a little bit, but because you didn't have time, you didn't bother with it. There're so many others with hidden talents they haven't begun to tap. If Saber says Eric is treating her different, I wouldn't ever think she's paranoid, I'd believe her."

He didn't want to believe her because he didn't want to accept the consequences. Logan knew. For sure, Logan knew. Was it possible that he had told Eric? Jess rubbed his head again. He was too tired to think. "I need to go to bed, Lily."

"I know." Lily packed up her equipment. "How are the bionics coming?"

"It's frustrating. I'm beginning to think we should have gone with a power pack even though that would be limiting. I can't keep function and I sure can't trust it." His frustration and anger were in his voice, but he couldn't help it.

Eric returned, leaning into the doorframe. "Are you visualizing? Using your psychic abilities to rebuild the pathways?"

Jess sent him one smoldering, dangerous look. He wasn't in the mood to be lectured. He'd done enough visualizing to get fifty pair of legs working, and he was still sitting in a chair, taking falls that put stitches in his head, humiliating him in front of his friends and Saber. He wasn't going to take bullshit from anyone, not even a friend.

Eric held up his hand. "Don't take my head off, I was only trying to help."

"Well, don't." Jess glared at him. "Just who told you about Saber?"

Lily's hands stilled on the medical bag. She turned and looked at Eric. The doctor stood there, looking uncomfortable, toeing the doorframe. He shrugged. Jess remained silent, waiting, insisting on an answer. Because whoever ratted her out was going to get the beating of his life.

Eric scowled at him. "How the hell would I remember? I'm around all of you all the time. Does it matter?"

"It matters if you make her feel uncomfortable in her own home."

Irritation crossed Lambert's face. "This is your home, Jess. I've been in it hundreds of times over the last year. She's not like the rest of you and you should know that. And frankly, if anyone should be feeling uncomfortable in it right now, it's you. Because as long as she lives here, you're putting your life and the lives of everyone that comes here at risk."

"What the hell does that mean?" Jess spun his chair all the way around to glare at his doctor.

Eric straightened, glaring right back, refusing to be intimidated. "What do you think I mean? She kills with one touch. What happens if she gets a little tired of her man? Or she's angry and out of control? She could kill you in your sleep. Just holding your hand. Leaning in to kiss you good night. The rest of you, you're trained. Disciplined. She's a wild card, Jess, and one none of the GhostWalkers can afford."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"That's the problem and you know it. I do know. She's a killing machine. Lily thinks so too, but she's too polite to say it. I'm your friend and I don't want you dead."

"We're all killing machines, Eric."

The doctor shook his head. "Not like her. She's deadly, Jess, and she's got you wrapped around her little finger until you not only can't think it, you can't entertain the idea of it. What do you think is going to happen here? You know about her. You're a liability to her. The moment she decides to pick up and leave, you're a dead man. She can't be controlled."

"And the rest of us can?" Lily snapped.

"To some extent, yes. You all have loyalty and discipline. You serve your country. You have ideals and goals. You're a team and those men and women are your family and the ones you trust. What is she loyal to? Who does she trust? Not you. Not any of you. And she sure doesn't want to serve her country."

"How the hell do you know what she wants or doesn't want?" Jess growled.

"She's out for herself. She ran from Whitney but she sure as hell didn't try to come in, did she? She didn't go to the nearest fort and say she had to speak to a commander. And I also know she's something that should never have been created."

Jess heard no sound, but instinctively he knew Saber was there. He looked up, met her violet-blue gaze, dark and stricken. She blinked and her face was a mask.

"I'm going for a walk, Jess. I'll be back when your friends are gone-all your friends." She spun on her heel and walked away.

It's pouring, Saber. Go to bed. I'll be there soon.

I don't want to be in the same house with them. As long as they're here, I'm gone.

We need them.

You need them.

Her voice choked and his heart sank. He swore and glanced at Lily. She had tears shimmering in her eyes.

She held out her hand to him. "We'll go. I know what it's like to feel like a freak. To have to live differently than everyone else. All of us do. It doesn't matter what gifts we have, people are going to look at us in the same way Eric does."

"That's not true," Eric denied, obviously upset. "I've never looked at you in any way other than as a friend and colleague."

But there was Dahlia, one of the women Jess had been a handler for, a woman who started fires when the energy buildup was too severe. She couldn't safely go out in public without an anchor. No doubt Eric would consider her a monstrous freak as well. Jess pressed two fingers to the spots throbbing above his eyes. Why hadn't he realized Eric might think of them that way, and if Eric, a doctor who helped them, did, what would most of the rest of the population think?

The walls breathed in and out and the ground rippled again. "Damn you, Eric. What the hell was that? You don't come into my home and insult my woman..."

"Your woman?"

"Yeah, my woman, and then think I'm going to be all right with it. I want to tear out your fucking heart right now." Jess actually moved his chair closer to the doctor but stopped at the look on Lily's face. "You know what? It doesn't matter what you think. You don't know Saber." He held up his hand to forestall any reply. "Look, Eric, thanks for all you've done, but maybe it would be better if you didn't come back."

"For God's sake, Jess, we've been friends for years."

Jess rubbed his eyes. "Saber is in my life to stay, Eric. She isn't going away, and knowing how you feel about her...well, enough said." Because he still wanted to smash his fist in Eric's face for making Saber look so lost.

"Talk to you soon," Lily said. "Get some rest."

"Yeah, I'm tired. I need to sleep for a while," Jess agreed. "Thanks for sewing me up."

Lily picked up her bag. "Be more careful, Jess. Until you can get the bionics working properly, you shouldn't risk practicing without someone with you."

He waved his hand in acknowledgment, but didn't reply. He needed them gone. And he sent word to the others that the house was secure and they could leave. Ken protested, along with Logan, but he made it clear he wanted them gone. Because he needed Saber to be all right more than he needed anything else right then. He wanted her to feel safe and secure and that her home was a haven, a sanctuary for her.

It didn't matter that Eric made a kind of weird sense. He didn't care. Maybe someday she would get tired of him and want out, but he couldn't imagine, not for one moment, Saber killing anyone for killing's sake. She detested it. She feared making mistakes. She wasn't the killer Eric believed her to be.

Saber waited until the last GhostWalker left. They had gone reluctantly and she could only assume Jess had sent them away. Still, she waited until dark before she went back into the house, and even then she crept in, not wanting to see him. He was the only person in the world she'd ever called friend, the only person she'd ever loved, but how could he hear those things about her and not have doubts? Even she had doubts.

For a moment she stopped, covering her face with her hands, listening to Jesse's breath, his heartbeat. She couldn't face him. She might not have the courage to ever face him again.

The minute she set foot on the landing, Saber began stripping. She hadn't been able to stop crying, and between her tears and the rain, she was soaked. She used the second bathroom, avoiding her room altogether. She couldn't face the idea that someone had been in there touching her things, even after the cleaners had removed all the evidence.

She stepped into the shower, allowed the steamy water to cascade down on her, warming her cold skin, doing nothing for the ice deep inside her. She was upset with Jess, with his friends, but most of all with herself. What had she expected? That they'd all just embrace her into their lives? That they'd want her to be a part of them? That she could fit in somewhere?

She hadn't even been certain she'd wanted it. Okay, that wasn't true. She'd been afraid to want it. Afraid it wasn't real. She shouldn't have hoped. Hope was for fools. Hope was for people, not monsters.

A shudder ran through her body and her chest hurt, crushed beneath some heavy, tearing emotion. The raw burning in her throat refused to go away no matter how many times she worked at swallowing the lump. She leaned against the tiles, her knees weak, legs shaking so much she was afraid they would give out on her.

An hour later Saber lay on the sofa on the upstairs landing, staring up at the ceiling. Her small lamp dispelled the darkness but gave her little comfort. Sighing, Saber slipped from the bed, wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling Jesse's shirt close around her body. On bare feet she padded down the hall to sit on the top stair, needing to be close to Jess but not wanting a confrontation. After all, it was a no-win situation.

Below her, something moved out of the shadows. Jess. Saber could make out the outline of part of his chair and one powerful shoulder and arm. His face was still hidden in the darkness. Of course he would be down at the foot of the stairs, needing the same feeling of closeness. Saber drew her knees up to her chest, rested her chin on them. It gave her a measure of comfort to know he was there.

"Why don't you come down here?" he suggested softly.

"I can't, Jess," Saber replied, her voice muffled, throat raw and torn from the earlier heart-wrenching sobs. "I just can't."

There was a small silence. A red glow and the aroma of pipe tobacco drifting up the stairs indicated his state of mind. "It won't get cleared up if we don't talk about it."

Saber rubbed her forehead. The headache wasn't going away anytime soon. "What's to say?"

"He was wrong about you."

Her eyes began to burn all over again. She pressed her fingers deep to try to stop the tears. Crying was a weakness, one she'd never been able to overcome. "Maybe. If I don't know, how could you?"

"Because I know who you are. I see inside of you. You know yourself that using telepathy gives you glimpses into a person's mind. I feel what you feel. I can see what you're thinking. You aren't a killer, Saber. You kill reluctantly." He sighed. "The truth is, between the two of us, I have much more of a killer mentality. I don't feel remorse. Dead people don't haunt me at night. When I thought I was stuck in this chair, I missed the action, the adrenaline, the danger. I like the life. You don't."

"I made mistakes, Jess. I could make more."

Jess was silent, very aware of her fragile state of mind, the battle raging in her. She sounded so lost. So forlorn. He was walking a tightrope, needing to find a way of reaching her. Eric had reconfirmed all her own doubts about herself. If only he could touch her, hold her, he might have a chance. They were separated by a flight of stairs; it might as well have been the Grand Canyon.

"Listen to me, angel face," he tried again. His voice was sheer black magic, a dark sorcerer's powerful weapon, the only one he had at the moment, and he used it shamelessly. "We need to talk this out. Come on down, honey. I'll make hot chocolate, we can curl up on the futon with the fire going and settle it all, just the two of us."

His voice touched her like fingers, soothing, caressing. Half mesmerized, needing him, Saber stood up slowly. Part of her wanted to run down the stairs, fling herself into his arms and be comforted. The other half of her, the sane half, recognized the danger, the shaky line separating standing on the fence and making a commitment. She actually walked down the stairs thinking she was going to do it, just sit on his lap, lay her head on his shoulder, and everything would be all right.

Self-preservation took over. She'd hoped once. Believed once. Hoped and believed in him, yet with her own eyes she'd seen her file, pictures of her as a child killing a puppy. That had been one of the worst moments of her life and he'd witnessed it. Not only Jess, but his friends. Saber eluded Jess's outstretched hand, hurried into the middle of the living room.