Getting Old Is Criminal - Part 25
Library

Part 25

"I shouldn't."

"Of course you should. I'll protect you."

He wraps her arms around his nude body. "Stay with me forever. Evelyn, I've waited for you all my with me forever. Evelyn, I've waited for you all my life, dearest love." life, dearest love."

His skin feels hot to her touch. Yet she shivers.

"When was the last time you felt like this?"

She moans. "Never."

He lifts her up and carries her to the bed. Evvie feels as if she were sinking into a golden pool of feels as if she were sinking into a golden pool of quicksand. quicksand.

THIRTY-SEVEN.

AFTERMATH.

Ihear noise coming from somewhere close. It wakes me. My head aches. Another dreadful night. I didn't drop off until about seven a.m. I am beginning to feel sleep-deprived. I lift my head and look at the clock. Eleven-thirty a.m. Dragging my sluggish self out of bed, I get into the shower and pour water, as hot as I can stand it, over my aching body.

Evvie's words have reverberated in my head all night. In her hurt, my sister called me a failure. My fault that Jack left me. Those words said in anger will hurt forever. She says she's in love, so why does she have so much rage? Because she doesn't want me to spoil her happiness? But she knows I would always want her to be happy. Because an other part of her knows she is wrong? And she is in denial?

Or am I wrong? I am no longer sure of what I feel or what I think. My head spins and I feel a throbbing headache coming on.

I get dressed to go downstairs. But what for? What's the point of my being here now? Should I call Alvin Ferguson and give up the case? It's tainted now.

As I walk out into the hall, I see Evvie's front door is open. People are moving about inside. This is odd. Usually there is only the one daily maid. I glance in and see Evvie's suitcase on a trolley. Along with clothes on hangers on a rack. A porter is about to wheel everything out.

"What's going on?" I ask.

The porter reaches me. "Mrs. Markowitz will be residing in another apartment. She has given up this apartment." I can see by his smirk that he's up on the gossip, too.

I'm stunned. She's moving in with Philip. So fast? Because of our fight? Things are happening too quickly. She musn't move in with him. What if he is a killer! Is there any way to stop this? But how?

I am going back to Lanai Gardens. I have to tell the girls what's happening. Oh, how I wish Jack was here. I need his level head.

When I reach the main lobby I see the backs of a large group of people. They're laughing at something. I walk over, curious.

Evvie and Philip are standing in front of this large a.s.sembly of avid listeners. Evvie is reading as Philip, at her side, gazes adoringly at her. What is she saying? I move closer. Feeling like an idiot, I use the large palm trees as cover and I listen in.

Then I realize what she's doing. Evvie is reading her new review of the movie they played here, Adam's Rib. Adam's Rib.

"And so the lines are drawn. Kate Hepburn has taken on Judy Holliday's case. And Spencer defends the ugly husband. And every night they fight over it and always nearby is that silly neighbor. I can still hear that song he writes for Kate, called 'Farewell, Amanda.' He is always trying to break up their love, but love always conquers all. This is a romance and romance is always wonderful." Here she glows at Philip. "And, of course, they live happily ever after."

Evvie bows and all the new sycophants applaud. Evvie has transferred her role as Lanai Gardens' resident critic into her fantasy life. She and Philip are the new G.o.d and G.o.ddess. I back away and head for the door. Let me out of here.

Not only is my sister under the spell of this lothario, her review is awful.

The girls stare at me, distressed, as I tell them of Evvie's enchantment. "I don't know what to do," I admit to them.

We are in my apartment, shades drawn. I feel like I'm in mourning. n.o.body has even asked for something to eat; it is that serious.

Bella shakes her head. "I can't believe she was so mean to you. She loves you."

And I can't believe I am betraying my sister by saying cruel things behind her back, something I have never done before.

"We've got to get her out of there," Ida insists.

I shrug hopelessly. "There's no way to do that."

"Kidnap her," suggests Sophie.

Bella is not convinced. "That won't work. We're too old and weak to carry her out of there."

Ida suggests, "We can drug her and drag her out."

"No matter what we do, she'll hate us for interfering." I feel helpless. I have no idea what action to take.

Ida stands up and crosses her arms. "There's only one way. We have to prove he's a killer. Then she'll come to her senses and come home."

"But what if he isn't a killer and this is real love?" Sophie finally starts rummaging through my fridge in search of a snack.

"But what if he is? How can we take that chance?" I ask.

Bella looks at Ida questioningly. "So, do we have a plan?"

Ida instinctively takes charge. She senses my helplessness. "I think we should consult with Barbi and Casey. Maybe their computers will come up with something. They helped us last time; maybe they can again. They're out of town on some convention, but only for a few days."

"Yes," Bella says eagerly. "I'll go, as long as I don't have to drink any more of their weird chai."

They look to me for my decision. I am desperate for any help. Whatever I do, I'm afraid Evvie will never forgive me.

With a heavy heart I give her my okay.

The girls and I have dinner together. It's a somber affair. We're worried about Evvie and light conversation seems too difficult to manage. Sophie sees our glum faces and tries. "Ya know, when I was on pot, I had a vision."

We all stare at her. Sophie is back to her old happy self and that's good news indeed.

"I saw a building that circles round and round like a merry-go-round and Sol falling madly in love with Evvie and Evvie falling in love in a red dress and the killer falling in love with everybody and they're all jumping out windows. Falling."

I fairly choke with laughter at that. So does Ida. Bella beams. This sounds like fun.

I can't resist asking, "So what does your druginduced epiphany mean?"

Sophie takes a quick bite of her stuffed cabbage and says, "Well, I don't know what a piffany piffany means, but in my vision Evvie is in the mood to fall in love. That's why she dated Sol." means, but in my vision Evvie is in the mood to fall in love. That's why she dated Sol."

Bella giggles. "Yeah and see how that turned out."Sophie continues, "And Sol is desperate to fall in love and have s.e.x. Remember how he tried to get her up to his apartment?"

"Who could forget?" Ida chuckles.

Sophie continues with a logic all her own. "Well, Evvie isn't interested in Sol. She goes speed dating and jumps from chair to chair and the killer jumps from luxury hotel to luxury hotel and Sol, and Sol . . ." She loses her train of thought.

Bella claps her hands. "I get it. And Sol jumps from window to window!"

The two of them high-five each other.

Ida and I exchange amazed glances. "Are you thinking what I am?" she asks me. "Is Sophie's subconscious under drug abuse giving us the clue we've needed all along?"

"Sol is the Peeper?" I ask.

We stare at one another. It all fits. Desperate Sol, who can never take his eyes off women's bodies, is the Peeper!

I announce, "Tomorrow we have a serious talk with Mr. Sol Spankowitz. Good work, Soph."

Sophie beams, proud of her accomplishment. "So what's for dessert?"

THIRTY-EIGHT.

EXIT THE PEEPER.

It's early morning and we are drawn to a big crowd gathering at S building. There's a lot of yelling.

As the girls and I get nearer, I'm aware of a number of our Canadian renters standing in some kind of circle. Some of the other neighbors have come out and are watching intently, many still in their bathrobes. Hy and Lola are there, too. No surprise. They never miss anything that goes on at Lanai Gardens. And Irving. Irving? It's his third day at home since he left Millie in the hospital, and he is part of this crowd? Yolie, as always, is at his side. He looks tired, but seemingly involved. Dora Dooley is there. Dora? Why?

"Leave me alone! Get your paws off me."

I know that voice. It's Sol Spankowitz. He is

dressed all in black. A Superman Halloween mask hangs around his neck.

"We're too late," I say to my girls. They nod. Looks like someone else unmasked the Peeper- literally-before we could.

"Don't hit him. Please." This is from a very frightened Irving, Sol's only real friend. He shakes his head back and forth.

One of the Canadian women, I think her name is Alice, points at Sol. "You disgusting creature!" Her husband, Jim, has his arm around her, protectively.

Now Tessie hurries over, belting her bathrobe, and joins in. "What's all the noise around here?"

Jim tells us. "There's your Peeper! My wife caught him with his nose against our window. She woke me and I ran out after him."

Another of the Canadians adds, "I was picking up my newspaper from my front step when I saw Sol run past. I see Jim coming after him and Jim yells for me to stop him. So I do."

Sol is in tears. "I'm innocent, I tell you."

"Liar," Alice says. "I saw you good and clear."

"How could you see me? I wore a mask-" Sol stops, realizing he's just convicted himself.

Hy has to put his two cents in. "I always suspected the butcher."

"Yeah, sure," says Tessie, shoving him. "You always know everything."

"Should I call the police?" one of the S building residents calls down from the second-floor balcony.

At that, Sol begins to crumple.