Getting Old is a Disaster - Part 23
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Part 23

Ida says stiffly, "We have no choice."

Evvie says, "I wish he had never written to us."

Bella asks, "Do you think we'll get a reward?"

"Don't hold your breath," says Ida.

Evvie helps Ida pick up Izzy's disguises from the floor as they repack the tote bag. Wait 'til Morrie hears this, I think ruefully. He's not going to be happy at how easily they were all fooled. This is not a win-win situation.

Ida gives me the tour of Madame Ramona's allblack office with the crystal ball, Ouija board, and tarot cards.

We wait. And we wait. Ida knocks on the bathroom door. "Let's go, Izzy."

No answer. It dawns on me; he's just pulled the oldest scam in the world. And we fell for it. Joe hurries into the bedroom. Of course the bathroom door is locked.

Joe rolls up his sleeves. "I'm gonna break the door down!"

As he starts to sprint; shoulders pointing, Evvie grabs him by the arm and pivots him around. "Are you crazy? What do you think this is-like the movies? It's not so easy to knock down a door."

"I can do it," he says, but his voice betrays him.

"You're an old man! The only thing you'll break is your neck."

"He's gone," Ida announces as she walks back into the apartment. "I looked outside and the bathroom window is definitely open, and bye-bye, Bandit."

I sigh. I've watched this scene in a lot of movies, too.

But everyone is smiling. And Joe actually winks at me.

Needless to say, Izzy didn't leave anything in the apartment that will give us his real name or any other information. The Madame Ramona name is obviously phony. The apartment is a rental. Even if Morrie checks out Izzy's fingerprints, I'll bet he has no police record to match them against.

Bye-bye, Grandpa. I wonder where you'll turn up next. You wrote us that getting old was not for sissies, and you were right.

I can't wait 'til Jack gets home so I can tell him that the Grandpa Bandit case is solved. More or less.

And Morrie will have a fit that we let him get away. Oy!

34.

An Unexpected Visit

The doorbell rings. Enya, on her way to her kitchen, is startled. Hardly anyone ever comes to her door. Which is just the way she likes it. She peers through her peephole. To her surprise, Abe Waller is standing there, holding a small bouquet of flowers.

She doesn't answer, standing still, almost holding her breath. Maybe he'll go away. What does he wants from me? she wonders.

He rings again.

She hesitates, unconsciously smoothing her skirt down with her hands. He must know she's in here. She can't be rude. As she opens the door she sees Abe glancing at the mezuzah on the right side of her door frame.

He smiles ruefully. "It is a very strange feeling living in someone else's home. I have never lived anywhere without a mezuzah. May I, Mrs. Slovak?"

Of course she knows what he is asking-permission to pay his respects to G.o.d. Her second husband, Yacov, whom she met after the war, himself a survivor, put the tiny box up when they moved into the apartment. She protested; she cared nothing about religion anymore. She looks at this pious stranger. Let him do what he wants. She nods.

He touches the sacred parchment scroll gently, then places those fingers to his lips. Then he hands her the flowers, which she accepts in puzzlement.

"What did I do for you to bring me flowers, Mr. Waller?"

"It's what I I did. I felt I did not treat you kindly in the laundry room the other day. Perhaps I was too abrupt?" did. I felt I did not treat you kindly in the laundry room the other day. Perhaps I was too abrupt?"

At that moment, Evvie and Joe come out of the adjoining apartment. There is a moment of awkwardness, but quickly and at the same time they all nod. Then Evvie and Joe walk off.

Enya, not knowing what to do, and feeling obliged, says, "Perhaps you would like a cup of tea?"

"A gla.s.s of water, maybe." Abe says, following Enya inside.

"Well, that was interesting," Evvie says to Joe as they head for his car, out to a restaurant to cele brate their capture of Izzy. "Bringing flowers? How romantic."

"I brought you flowers a while ago. You gave them away."

Evvie flicks an imaginary bit of dust off his shoulder. "Don't go there, Joe. That was then and now is now."

With that she flounces into his car before he has a chance to open the door for her.

Across the way, Jack turns from the kitchen window. "Well, well," he singsongs, "love is in the air. Tra-la-tra-la. Just saw Abe bring flowers to Enya, and Evvie actually touched Joe's shoulder."

I come over, wiping my hands on my ap.r.o.n, and put my arms around him. "It's catching, isn't it?"

He pulls my arms even tighter, closer. "What is?"

"Being a yenta and spying on people. Like everyone else does around here."

He swivels around 'til he's facing me and gives me a playful swat on my rear. Then he goes over to the stove and sniffs what I've cooked for dinner.

"Decisions, decisions," he says. "Food or s.e.x? s.e.x or food?"

"I thought you wanted to hear more about our Grandpa Bandit story?"

"It can wait." With that, he drags me out of the kitchen and I toss my ap.r.o.n behind me.

Enya stares at the few photographs on her small kitchen table. They are very old, tattered, practically shriveled up. Abe's empty wallet sits beside them.

Abe points to his photo of a young boy with a bicycle, and says, "We wanted Max to play the violin; he was interested only in sports." He manages a small smile. "I was a musician in the old country."

As he talks about his children, she thinks of the photos on her bedroom wall. For a moment, she is tempted to get them, but she can't bring herself to share them. She politely listens to him, sensing how much it must mean to him to be able to talk about his family. But something won't let her open up to him.

He reaches over to touch her hands, but the moment he does, she pulls away. "Sorry," she says. He gestures by raising both hands aloft, as if to say he understands. "You had children?"

She can barely speak. Her throat seems to be closing up on her. She doesn't want to talk about them. But she doesn't know how to be rude. This very kind man is sharing his pain with her. She whispers, "Rebecca was four and Micah was five. My babies . . ." The tears start to flow. He hands her a handkerchief.

He indicates the numbers on her arms. "When were you there . . . Auschwitz?"

She says, "Forty-two to forty-five. Sometimes in my dreams I imagine it never happened . . ." She moves a teacup around in its saucer, but doesn't drink. "In my nightmares there is no doubt it did."

"You know the strange thing?" Enya understands he is changing the conversation away from the personal to make her feel more comfortable. "I only found out afterward. It was only Auschwitz that tattooed the numbers. None of the other camps ever did."

"I never heard that," she says.

"Your husband. You. What work did you have in Prague . . . before . . . ?"

"Jacov and I both taught at the university."

"I was never there. I never traveled far from Munich."

They sit still for a while. Enya watches the second hand on the kitchen clock move round. She wishes he would go away. Her body is sweating; she wants to wash.

Abe finally gets up. "I will leave now. You must have your dinner to prepare. Thank you for the water. He gathers up his photos and places them gently into his wallet. He walks to the door, and as Enya moves around him to open it, their arms touch for a second. Enya's body goes rigid.

Abe opens the door, bows, and leaves.

Enya slowly returns to the kitchen table and sits down. She lifts the bouquet of flowers from the vase in which she placed them and buries her face in them. She remains there, sobbing until it gets dark.

35.

Gladdy Has a Hunch

Iwake up abruptly; something in a dream startles me into consciousness. Jack turns, opens one eye, and says, "What?"

I pat his shoulder gently. "Go back to sleep. It's nothing."

The phone rings. Jack groans and puts his pillow over his head. I look at the clock. Eight a.m. Has to be one of the girls. I'm up already, might as well start moving.

I answer the phone in the kitchen so as not to disturb Jack. It's Sophie.

"News," she says. "The pool is fixed and they're putting water in it. Everyone's going to watch."

"Everyone? How many calls have you made?"

"I didn't. Bella called me because Ida called her because Evvie called Ida." And she adds petu lantly, "We always used to get up this early anyway to do our exercise."

She's speaking in past tense because since Jack moved in, our early-morning routine has vanished. There's a tiny bit of complaining in Sophie's voice. I have to pay attention to this.

"Okay," I say, "I'll meet you down there soon as I get dressed."

"Don't bother wearing your suit. I don't think we can swim yet. Something about chlorine."

I hang up. Why are we all going to the pool if there's no water? I hum a few bars of "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof. Fiddler on the Roof.

As I grind my coffee beans it hits me. Why I woke up so abruptly. I phone Stanley. I know he gets up early to supervise the repair work. Maybe I can catch him before he leaves.

Too late. His wife, Esther, tells me I just missed him.

I say, "When you hear from him, please tell him to find me. I need to talk to him about something important. If I'm not in my apartment, I'll be at the Phase Two pool."

I enjoy my coffee and toast, get dressed, and leave Jack a note. It says, "Not going swimming, but will be at pool. Don't ask. Love and x.x.xx." I leave the note and a camellia on my pillow. I'm really getting into this living together stuff.

What a sight! Everyone sits in his or her usual place, facing the pool. Well, not everyone. Our Canadians won't be back for a while. But here they are, our regulars, staring at a pool slowly being filled with water. Comical, really. Seems as exciting as watching gra.s.s grow. Nothing too much is happening.

The difference is we have our new temporary neighbors, and even they have come down for this non-event. First face I see is Louise's. She immediately looks behind me to see where Jack is. Maybe she's hoping we had a fight and he's up for grabs. Not a chance, lady.

Dora Dooley has pulled a patio chair next to Bella and Sophie, even though they try to avoid her existence by chatting with their backs to her. Dora's deep into a TV Guide TV Guide magazine, marking shows she wants to see. Ida knits, ignoring all of them. magazine, marking shows she wants to see. Ida knits, ignoring all of them.

Joe has a chaise next to Evvie. He's glued to her side. The way he watches her makes me imagine how a starving man might look at a steak. Evvie pays no attention to him and is engrossed in a book.

Tessie sits on the edge of the pool, her feet dangling in air, as she stares down, watching for the water-level changes. Being the only real swimmer, she can hardly wait until the pool fills. Her hubby, Sol, is a different person since their marriage. The talkative Sol has turned very quiet. As Evvie said to me a while back, she'd love to be a fly on their wall. I'm curious, too.

In between slathering suntan lotion on each other's backs, Casey and Barbi sit directly in the sun, playing gin rummy.

I note that Enya is not here. However, her new neighbor, Abe, who brings flowers, sits in the shade behind the small wrought-iron gate, away from us, reading a newspaper. Abe is fully clothed, wearing his usual black suit. He doesn't seem to mind the heat. I'm surprised he's even there.