She closed her eyes, then she opened them and looked at me. I held my breath. She smiled.

"Mama, oh, thank you, thank you," I moaned to every spirit that dwelled in and about our home.

"Noble?"

"Yes. Mama. yes. It's Noble. Now listen. You have had an accident. Please get up. We need to change the linen on your bed and you need to clean yourself"

"An accident?" Finally she realized what she had done. "Oh. I'm getting older. I guess." Panther's cries grew louder, "Who's crying?"

"It's Panther."

"Panther? Who's Panther?" She started to prop up on her elbows, "Betsy's Panther. Mama, Betsy's baby."

She looked at me and shook her head with confusion.

"Okay. Mama, Can you get up and get yourself out of these clothes? I'll look after the baby. okay?"

"Baby? Baby Celeste." she said. remembering.

"Yes, she's downstairs waiting for us to make breakfast."

Mama nodded. I guided her to her feet. She wobbled and then steadied herself. I directed her toward the bathroom, then went to look after Panther.

He had to be changed. I tried to make as much noise as I could to wake Betsy. but I thought even if a bomb went off at the bedroom door, she wouldn't waken.

Even if she did. I realized, she would be of little help.

Baby Celeste was already in the kitchen trying to get breakfast started. She had taken juice out of the refrigerator and found her little bowl for her cereal. I smiled at her efforts and then got Panther situated in his high chair. I prepared his breakfast, put up some oatmeal for Mama, and toasted some of her homemade bread.

Betsy had still not risen even after I had accomplished it all. I went up to check on Mama and found her sitting in the bathtub naked, but without any water. She was wiping a washcloth over her arms and body as if there were water and soap. The sight made me feel as if I were melting from top to bottom, my body sinking into a puddle at my feet.

"Mama... there's no water in the tub."

She looked at me and smiled. You come to wash my back?" she asked.

It was something she had often had Noble do when he was little. It was the one thing other than his imagining games that he took seriously. She offered me the washcloth. I lowered my head. What was I going to do?

The sound of Betsy's laughter spun me around.

She was in the hallway. "Noble!" she screamed.

"Where the hell are you?"

I looked at Mama. then I hurried out to see what Betsy wanted.

She was standing in my doorway, holding a pillow against her naked body.

"Bring us coffee and toast us some of that bread I like with that blackberry jam. Don't take all day either." she ordered. "Afterward, you and I will have a talk about things. Where's the queen?" she followed as an afterthought.

I thought I heard the sound of bees around my head. I looked back through Mama's bedroom door and then at the stairway.

"Oh, don't act like such a jerk," Betsy quipped.

"Just do what I ask."

"Hey!" I heard her new boyfriend call. "Where the hell are we?"

Betsy laughed. "You're in herbal heaven," she cried, glared at me, then backed into my bedroom, "Hurry it up," she ordered, and closed the door.

I returned to Mama's bathroom. She was cut of the tub and wiping herself with a towel. I had to see about the children. They had been left alone too long.

"I"ll be right back, Mama. I made oatmeal for you."

"You did? How sweet. But," she said, lowering her head and raising her eyes at me. "did you make it or did Celeste?"

"Celeste," I said softly.

"Thought so. That's all right. I know you wanted to do it yourself. Noble. And that's what counts the most." I watched her go to her vanity table still naked and begin to brush her hair. She moved the brush ever so slowly.

She'll be occupied awhile. I thought, and rushed out and down the stairs.

Panther had thrown his food off the high chair and, using his spoon. heaved his eggs all aver the table and even the walls. I looked at Baby Celeste, who was sitting there finishing her cereal and watching him.

"Why did you let him do that, Celeste?"

She looked at me, a tight, small smile on her face.

"You're still being bad. I'm not letting you outside today. You're going to spend the day in your room."

I wanted her in there anyway. I wanted her away from all that was happening.

She looked unconcerned. I made a quick attempt to wipe Panther's face and body and some of the mess he had created, and then I put up coffee and cut the bread to make the toast Betsy wanted. Before I was finished. Celeste brought in the breakfast dishes.

even Panther's, and placed it all neatly on the counter by the sink. Then she shot me a look of disgust and went out and up the stairs to her room.

I heard Betsy banging on the floor of my room and shouting for service, After I prepared the tray. I looked in on Panther, who was occupied with his remaining food. He had a fistful of scrambled eggs, enjoying the feel of it. Betsy screamed again. I carried the tray up and knocked on my bedroom door.

"Enter," I heard, and managed to open it.

She was in bed with Tad and sat up immediately. "Put it right here. Brother." Tad smiled, one eye closed.

I set the tray down in front of them.

"Oh she said. "draw me a warm bath and throw in some of that herbal bubble-bath crap Sarah makes.

It looks like it is good for your skin. Right, Brad?"

"Tad," he said.

"Tad. Isn't my skin smooth?"

"Like a baby's rear end," he said, and they both laughed. I started out.

"Close the damn door," Betsy screamed.

"Gladly," I muttered, and did so.

When I looked in on Mama. I saw she had put on her nightgown and was about to crawl back into bed.

"Mama, what are you doing? We have to change the sheets, and you don't want to go back to bed anyway."

"I'm tired, and it"s late. You should go to sleep.

too."

"No. Mama, it"s morning. Get up. Get dressed,"

I urged.

She shook her head and, despite the messed sheet, crawled under the blanket again.

I just stood there for a moment. I had to call someone, I thought. I needed help. The only one I could think of was Mr. Bogart and his wife, or perhaps the Reverend Mr. Austin's wife. Tani. First things first. I thought. Mama wasn't going anywhere. I had to deal with Betsy and settle that.

I looked in on Baby Celeste, who was sitting in her chair in her room looking at the pictures in old family albums. She was quiet so I left her and started Betsy's bath. Then I ran downstairs. got Panther, and brought him up to wash and change him into one of his outfits. Before I was finished. Betsy came into the room and closed the door behind her.

"Your bath's going to overflow." I said.

"I'll look after it. Don't you mention that kid being mine, hear me.," she warned, nodding at Panther. "I told him he's your cousin, too. When do I get my money?"

I put my hands over my face.

"Well?" she screamed.

"Mama's not right," I said, lowering my hands.

"What you did put her into a..."

"A what?"

"A bad mental state. She's in a daze. confused.

I'm very worried. I might have to get help."

Betsy stood there thinking. "Don't call anyone just yet. We'll handle it. I"ll think of something. After my bath, I"m going into town with Tad and buy the things I'll need when I leave here. I"m going to need more money, credit cards. Get all that from your mother. You know where she keeps her checkbook.

Write out a check for as much as she has in the account. When I return, we'll see about the rest.

Understand? Well? Don't just stand there staring at me."

"I'll do what I can."

"Do more than you can," she countered, turned, and left me with Panther.

After I dressed him. I brought him down and put him in the playpen we had set up for him in the living room. He cried about being left alone, but there was nothing I could do. I returned to Mama's bedroom. She was asleep again, so I looked through her things, found more money, her checkbook, and two credit cards. I've got to keep Betsy happy enough not to make us any more trouble. I thought, There seemed to be a balance of $2,400 in the checking account. I wrote out a check for $2,000 and made it out to cash. Then I brought everything to Betsy, who was soaking in the tub.

"I have to hand it to her," she said, hearing me come in. She had her head back and her eyes closed.

"This herbal bubble bath really feels good."

She sat forward and looked at me. "Well?"

"I have a check for two thousand dollars for you. You should go to the bank to cash it. If they call here. I tell them it's all right. These are the only credit cards we have, and there's about four hundred dollars in this," I said, showing her the roll of cash.

"That's a start. Good for you. You're being smart. Noble Celeste. How's the queen?"

"She's just sleeping."

"She better get well enough to make that call to the lawyer soon," she warned. "Hand me the towel."

I did so and she got out of the tub.

"You see," she said, turning toward me to show me her breasts. "Still firm. If you should ever become the woman you are, don't breast-feed."

I rushed from the bathroom, her laughter chasing after me. When I reached the stairs, I heard the piano.

"Mama?" I called.

The music was different though. I found Tad in the living room playing.

"This thing is badly out of tunea" he said. He nodded at Panther, who was sitting quietly and looking at him. "Kid likes rock and roll." He laughed and continued to play.

I went into the kitchen and cleaned up. I had no appetite whatsoever and just sipped a little coffee.

Soon after. I heard Betsy come downstairs.

"We're off." she shouted from the entryway.

I stepped out and looked.

"I'll be back this afternoon. and then well do our business. You understand?" I didn't say anything.

They left and the house was quiet again.

Panther called after her. I walked slowly down the hallway and looked in on him. He was standing in his playpen. Being deserted was not a new experience for him. I thought. This wasn't the first time and it would surely not be the last.

Suddenly. I felt so trapped, so enclosed, it was as if I were in a playpen myself.

I stepped outside quickly and took deep breaths of fresh air. The sky was partly overcast, but there was enough sunlight to give my dark heart some respite from the shadows that were dancing around inside me.