"Sure. Have you met anyone since I left, since you got your driver's license and all?" I shook my head.

"You just need to be introduced to people. I can do that for you if you help me," she said as a way of beginning some sort of negotiation.

"I don't need to be introduced to anyone."

"What's wrong with you?" she screamed. She stamped her foot. "Why does this child stare at me like this?"

I glanced at Baby Celeste, who was fixed on her. "You amuse her, I guess."

"Oh. I amuse her. Don't I amuse you? Even a little?" she asked with a mix of hope and flirtation.

I kept working.

She reached out and gasped my arm to spin me around. "Well?"

"What do you want me to say?"

She smiled. "When I think of something good.

I'll let you know, and then you can say it. For now, thanks again for helping me." She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, close to my lips, then deliberately brushed her breasts over my arm. "Um,"

she said with her eyes closed. "it's been too long."

To me it felt as if the whole world had stopped.

everything a" the breeze, the birds, all hearts in every living thing, were on pause.

"I'm so horny," she whispered, "I'd even consider giving you instructions. We can really help each other. Noble man."

I couldn't speak, couldn't make a sound. My throat had closed.

She laughed, then turned and walked away, pausing to look back at me flirtatiously. I hadn't moved a muscle since her kiss. Her laugh floated around me. What frightened me the most was that she had awakened my own sexuality. It stirred and stretched inside, tingling at my breasts, warming the inside of my thighs, making me feel weak. I trembled and closed my eyes.

When I opened them. I looked down and saw Baby Celeste gazing up at me. She looked angry.

She looked like Mama.

And for the first time I wondered, was she really my child or was she somehow hers?

17.

Unstrapped .

Nothing Betsy did was ever done well enough or properly in Mama's eyes. She trailed after her, finding dust where she had supposedly just dusted or found things that should have been put away. She didn't wash dishes clean enough and she always set the table poorly. Periodically, over the next week.

Mama would burst into Betsy's room and find clothes that weren't hung or put in the dresser drawers, dust on her furniture, the bed awkwardly made, and the baby's things not in good order. When she saw some makeup spilled on the vanity table, she confiscated all of Betsy's cosmetics, telling her she would return them when Betsy learned how to care for her things and not make such a mess.

At the end of the week, Mama had her polishing- the old silverware. Whenever she made her do something new, she held out the possibility of a reward, but that reward was always dangled at the end of a long pole, a pole far longer than Betsy's reach.

"Rub harder." Mama told her. "You should be able to set your reflection in the spoon."

"This silverware is so old nothing will bring it back," Betsy moaned. Then she turned and demanded money and the keys to the car so she could go into the village and buy herself sanitary napkins or Tampax as well as some other hygienic things. Instead. Mama gave her some of her own from her own bathroom closet where I would go monthly to get what I needed.

It was an unspoken, unrecognized thing never mentioned or in any way noted. Frustrated. Betsy declared she would walk to town and she would finish the silverware later.

"And who is supposed to babysit for your infant while you do that?" Mama asked her.

"I"ll take him with me," Betsy vowed. "I've got to have some time away from this... this hellhole."

Mama glared at her. If you set foot on that highway without my permission. I'll consider it insubordination and fine you a thousand dollars for every step you take."

"You can't do that."

Mama smiled, turned, and opened a drawer under the kitchen counter to produce an index card.

"Your father's attorney and our attorney, Mr.

Derward Lee Nokleby-Cook, is at this telephone number. Do you want to call him and ask him what I can and cannot do? He"ll be really happy to explain it all to you clearly."

Betsy stared at the card, then looked away without reaching for it. She turned back after a moment.

"How much is in my trust? I don't even know that." Mama put the card back in the drawer.

"Your father had two life insurance policies. He has assigned two hundred and fifty thousand dollars to you to be transferred completely when you reach the age of twenty-five, as I have already explained."

Betsy's eyebrows rose. "Two hundred and fifty thousand?"

"And it earns interest, so it will be worth more."

"Well, why can't I have some of that now?"

Betsy whined.

"I told you that as you show responsibility and improvement, I'll give you the funds you need or want to use for sensible things. Your father had no idea about Panther, of course, since you never bothered to call or tell him about his birth, so he didn't include him in the will, but a portion of your trust will be used to fulfill the baby's needs. As he grows, he will require more and more."

"I should decide what he needs and doesn't need. I'm his mother,"

Mama nodded, "Yes, you should. And you will when you show you are capable of making wise, mature decisions."

"I'm capable of that now!"

"I don't see that. I still see a high-strung, self-centered, irresponsible young girl. However," Mama continued with a smile. "I think in time you will improve if you carry out your duties in a responsible manner.

"Your father placed a very serious and heavy burden on me when he made me sole trustee of your legacy and clearly assigned me the task of helping you achieve maturity and evaluating that maturity, And I,"

Mama added firmly, "take my obligations very, very seriously.

"Now, it's time for Panther to be fed, and don't rush the food and make him gag like you usually do.

You're not going anywhere today. After you finish the silverware, we have to air out our rugs, polish the living room furniture, and vacuum the entire downstairs...

Betsy said nothing. Her eyes were full of such hate and anger, they looked red.

"I'm calling someone," she said abruptly, and marched out to use the phone in the hallway.

Mama shook her head and looked at me.

Seconds later. Betsy came rushing back into the kitchen, "What happened to the phone?" she demanded.

"Use of the phone is a privilege in this house. I will decide when it can and cannot be used. I told you, if you want to call our attorney, you can do that."

"I'm not interested in the attorney. I want to call someone else. You can't tell me who I can and cannot call. My father didn't even do that. Where is it?" Betsy demanded.

Mama turned away and took a mixing bowl out of the cabinet. "I have work to do," she muttered.

"What if someone wants to call me?"

"I'll let you know."

Betsy looked at me, her face contorted in defeat and frustration.

"I told you to look after your child,' Mama said as she opened a jar of sage.

Betsy stood their fuming for a moment, then made a mouselike sound, turned, and stormed out of the kitchen.

"Where is the phone. Mama?' I asked.

"The downstairs phone is locked in the hall closet, and the phone has a lock on it as well." She smiled at me. "Don't worry yourself about any of this, Noble. We have years of neglect and spoiling to overcome as regards Betsy.

"But." she said, running her hand lovingly over my cheek. "we have so much help around us. It's only a matter of time. Please go see if Baby Celeste has awakened from her nap." Then Mama kissed my cheek. It had been so long since she had done that. My heart filled with joy and hope.

Mama's so right, I thought. She's so right. After all. Betsy was about as spoiled as anyone could be.

Betsy heard me ascend the stairway. She came to her doorway. holding Panther in her arms. He looked awake, but still groggy.

"I know what she's doing." Betsy said. "She's stealing my money. I'll get help and she'll be in big trouble. You'll set."

"That's not true. Everything is proper and in order legally."

"I bet. God!" she cried. "Is this the way you want to live your whole life? Just working and never having any fun?"

"I'm not unhappy." I said, and went to look in on Baby Celeste.

She was awake, so I brought her down and we went outside. Betsy had walked down the driveway and stood near the road looking at it like someone looking through barbed wire. I could almost hear the argument going on inside her head, Run. Stay, To where would she run? What if she had to return?

What if Mama was doing everything legally right after all and she walked away from more than $250,000?

Surely when she had returned, she had hoped to get a great deal of help from her father, now that she had an infant on her hands. With no money and with Panther to care for, she would not be able to do the things she had done in the past to get by. How manyvyoung men would want to take on an infant as well as her? No chain was around her ankle, but in her way of thinking now, there might as well be one.

She turned and walked back, her head down, her whole body sagging like a flag of defeat. I took Baby Celeste's hand and hurried away before she saw us. Despite everything, I couldn't stand looking into her eyes soaking in such agony. She was like some wild animal trapped and contained, tortured by memories and the sight of the world she had known and loved. It was close, but just enough beyond her reach to torment her, When we went into the house later in the day, I saw she was polishing furniture in the living roam.

Panther was asleep upstairs in his crib. Betsy didn't look at us. She worked harder. deciding I imagined, to do what Mama wanted her to do so she could see if she would be rewarded as Mama had promised. She went from one chore to another without a single complaint. Mama followed and inspected. She raised her eyebrows at me to indicate her approval and satisfaction.

"You did well today. Betsy," Mama told her at dinner. "You are capable of making a good change in yourself."

"Can I have some money soon?" Betsy immediately asked.

"Soon."

"How soon?"

"Very soon." Mama said. smiling. "Let's just be sure this new change coming about is real."

Betsy's temper was a like a raging beast chained down inside her. She didn't say a single nasty thing even though her eyes could have served as launching sites for nuclear missiles. She swallowed hard and ate her meal. Afterward, she cleaned the table and washed the dishes and finished polishing silverware. Even though Mama hadn't told her to do it, she scrubbed the kitchen floor and took out the garbage.

Afterward, she sat quietly in the living room holding Panther in her arms until he was ready for bed. She took him up and returned because she saw that Mama had let me turn on the television set. Betsy was upset that we could get only a few channels, but anything was better than nothing.

You should both get a good night's sleep"

Mama declared after an hour or so. "Don't forget tomorrow we do the windows, and you were acing to put a new coat of varnish on the porch deck, Noble."

I rose and turned off the set. Betsy sat there staring at the dead screen as if she still saw the program we had been watching.

"Good night, Betsy," Mama said pointedly.

Betsy turned to her sharply. "Can I have the privilege of using the phone after we do the windows tomorrow?"

"We'll set," Mama said, and went to the stairway.

Betsy looked at me. if she doesn't let me, would you ask after this boy I knew in the village when you go in on an errand? His name is Greg Richards."

"I'm not doing any errands tomorrow."

"Whenever you do!" she pleaded.

I listened for Mama's steps on the stairway, then I said. "We'll see." I know I must have sounded exactly like Mama.

Betsy's face reddened. "Please," she begged.

"We'll see," I repeated, and quickly followed Mama up the stairway.

She was waiting for me just outside her bedroom door. From the look on her face, I was sure she had overheard Betsy's request. She smiled at me.