Gargantua and Pantagruel - Part 18
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Part 18

Chapter 3.XXVI.-How Panurge consulteth with Friar John of the Funnels.

Panurge was indeed very much troubled in mind and disquieted at the words of Herr Trippa, and therefore, as he pa.s.sed by the little village of Huymes, after he had made his address to Friar John, in pecking at, rubbing, and scratching his own left ear, he said unto him, Keep me a little jovial and merry, my dear and sweet bully, for I find my brains altogether metagrabolized and confounded, and my spirits in a most dunsical puzzle at the bitter talk of this devilish, h.e.l.lish, d.a.m.ned fool. Hearken, my dainty cod.

Mellow C. Varnished C. Resolute C.

Lead-coloured C. Renowned C. Cabbage-like C.

Knurled C. Matted C. Courteous C.

Suborned C. Genitive C. Fertile C.

Desired C. Gigantal C. Whizzing C.

Stuffed C. Oval C. Neat C.

Speckled C. Claustral C. Common C.

Finely metalled C. Virile C. Brisk C.

Arabian-like C. Stayed C. Quick C.

Trussed-up Grey- Ma.s.sive C. Bearlike C.

hound-like C. Manual C. Part.i.tional C.

Mounted C. Absolute C. Patronymic C.

Sleeked C. Well-set C. c.o.c.kney C.

Diapered C. Gemel C. Auromercuriated C.

Spotted C. Turkish C. Robust C.

Master C. Burning C. Appetizing C.

Seeded C. Thwacking C. Succourable C.

l.u.s.ty C. Urgent C. Redoubtable C.

Jupped C. Handsome C. Affable C.

Milked C. Prompt C. Memorable C.

Calfeted C. Fortunate C. Palpable C.

Raised C. Boxwood C. Barbable C.

Odd C. Latten C. Tragical C.

Steeled C. Unbridled C. Transpontine C.

Stale C. Hooked C. Digestive C.

Orange-tawny C. Researched C. Active C.

Embroidered C. Encompa.s.sed C. Vital C.

Glazed C. Strouting out C. Magistral C.

Interlarded C. Jolly C. Monachal C.

Burgher-like C. Lively C. Subtle C.

Empowdered C. Gerundive C. Hammering C.

Ebonized C. Franked C. Clashing C.

Brasiliated C. Polished C. Tingling C.

Organized C. Powdered Beef C. Usual C.

Pa.s.sable C. Positive C. Exquisite C.

Trunkified C. Spared C. Trim C.

Furious C. Bold C. Succulent C.

Packed C. Lascivious C. Factious C.

Hooded C. Gluttonous C. Clammy C.

Fat C. Boulting C. New-vamped C.

High-prized C. Snorting C. Improved C.

Requisite C. Pilfering C. Malling C.

Laycod C. Shaking C. Sounding C.

Hand-filling C. Bobbing C. Battled C.

Insuperable C. Chiveted C. Burly C.

Agreeable C. Fumbling C. Seditious C.

Formidable C. Topsyturvying C. Wardian C.

Profitable C. Raging C. Protective C.

Notable C. Piled up C. Twinkling C.

Musculous C. Filled up C. Able C.

Subsidiary C. Manly C. Algoristical C.

Satiric C. Idle C. Odoriferous C.

Repercussive C. Membrous C. Pranked C.

Convulsive C. Strong C. Jocund C.

Restorative C. Twin C. Routing C.

Masculinating C. Belabouring C. Purloining C.

Incarnative C. Gentle C. Frolic C.

Sigillative C. Stirring C. Wagging C.

Sallying C. Confident C. Ruffling C.

Plump C. Nimble C. Jumbling C.

Thundering C. Roundheaded C. Rumbling C.

Lechering C. Figging C. Thumping C.

Fulminating C. Helpful C. b.u.mping C.

Sparkling C. Spruce C. Cringeling C.

Ramming C. Plucking C. Berumpling C.

l.u.s.ty C. Ramage C. Jogging C.

Household C. Fine C. n.o.bbing C.

Pretty C. Fierce C. Touzing C.

Astrol.a.b.i.an C. Brawny C. Tumbling C.

Algebraical C. Compt C. Fambling C.

Venust C. Repaired C. Overturning C.

Aromatizing C. Soft C. Shooting C.

Tricksy C. Wild C. Culeting C.

Paillard C. Renewed C. Jagged C.

Gaillard C. Quaint C. Pinked C.

Broaching C. Starting C. Arsiversing C.

Addle C. Fleshy C. Polished C.

Syndicated C. Auxiliary C. Slashed C.

Hamed C. Stuffed C. Clashing C.

Leisurely C. Well-fed C. Wagging C.

Cut C. Flourished C. Scriplike C.

Smooth C. Fallow C. Encremastered C.

Depending C. Sudden C. Bouncing C.

Independent C. Graspful C. Levelling C.

Lingering C. Swillpow C. Fly-flap C.

Rapping C. Crushing C. Perinae-tegminal C.

Reverend C. Creaking C. Squat-couching C.

Nodding C. Dilting C. Short-hung C.

Disseminating C. Ready C. The hypogastrian C.

Affecting C. Vigorous C. Witness-bearing C.

Affected C. Skulking C. Testigerous C.

Grappled C. Superlative C. Instrumental C.

My harcabuzing cod and b.u.t.tock-stirring ballock, Friar John, my friend, I do carry a singular respect unto thee, and honour thee with all my heart. Thy counsel I hold for a choice and delicate morsel; therefore have I reserved it for the last bit. Give me thy advice freely, I beseech thee, Should I marry or no? Friar John very merrily, and with a sprightly cheerfulness, made this answer to him: Marry, in the devil's name. Why not? What the devil else shouldst thou do but marry? Take thee a wife, and furbish her harness to some tune. Swinge her skin-coat as if thou wert beating on stock-fish; and let the repercussion of thy clapper from her resounding metal make a noise as if a double peal of chiming-bells were hung at the cremasters of thy ballocks. As I say marry, so do I understand that thou shouldst fall to work as speedily as may be; yea, my meaning is that thou oughtest to be so quick and forward therein, as on this same very day, before sunset, to cause proclaim thy banns of matrimony, and make provision of bedsteads. By the blood of a hog's-pudding, till when wouldst thou delay the acting of a husband's part? Dost thou not know, and is it not daily told unto thee, that the end of the world approacheth? We are nearer it by three poles and half a fathom than we were two days ago. The Antichrist is already born; at least it is so reported by many. The truth is, that hitherto the effects of his wrath have not reached further than to the scratching of his nurse and governesses. His nails are not sharp enough as yet, nor have his claws attained to their full growth,-he is little.

Crescat; Nos qui vivimus, multiplicemur.