What is the difference between a bottle of medicine and a troublesome boy?--One is to be well shaken before taken, and the other is to be taken and then shaken.

What makes more noise than a pig under a gate?--Two pigs.

When is a door not a door?--When it is a-jar.

What is the difference between a naughty boy and a postage-stamp?--Because one you stick with a lick, and the other you lick with a stick.

Why did William Tell shudder when he shot the apple from his son's head?--Because it was an arrow escape for his child.

What is that which the more you take from it the larger it grows?--A hole.

What is the best land for little kittens?--Lapland.

Why should a man always wear a watch when he travels in a waterless desert?--Because every watch has a spring in it.

Of what trade is the sun?--A tanner.

What relation is a doormat to a door?--Step-fa(r)ther.

What is that which you cannot hold ten minutes, although it is as light as a feather?--Your breath.

What is the worst weather for rats and mice?--When it rains cats and dogs.

What is that which never uses its teeth for eating purposes?--A comb.

When are two apples alike?--When pared.

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?--One cannot see to go and the other cannot go to sea.

Why is a plum-cake like the ocean?--Because it contains so many currants.

What pudding makes the best cricketer?--A good batter.

When is a sailor not a sailor?--When he's a-board.

Why is the snow different from Sunday?--Because it can fall on any day in the week.

What trade would you mention to a short boy?--Grow sir (grocer).

What tree is nearest the sea?--The beech.

Why is a game of cards like a timber-yard?--Because there are always a great many deals in it.

Why is a tight boot like an oak tree?--Because it produces a corn (acorn).

Why is a city in Ireland likely to be the largest city in the world?--Because each year it is Dublin (doubling).

What is the easiest way to swallow a door?--Bolt it.

Why could a negro slave not be caught if he ran away?--Because he would be sure to keep dark at all times.

Why is a dancing-master like a tree?--Because of his bows (boughs).

Name a word of five letters from which if you take two but "one"

remains--Stone.

GAMES FOR ADULTS

ADVICE

Each player is given a slip of paper and asked to write a piece of advice--the ladies write to the gentlemen and vice versa. The slips are collected and again distributed and each player is asked to read the advice which has been given him. Before looking at the paper he must tell what sort of advice it is--good, bad, unnecessary, etc., and whether or not he intends to profit by it.

ADJECTIVES

A slip of paper and a pencil is given to each player, who must then write a number of adjectives upon it. The slips are collected and given to the princ.i.p.al player, who has undertaken to read out a short story, subst.i.tuting the adjectives on the slips for those already in the story.

The adjectives must be taken as they come and not picked out to suit the story. The result is sometimes very laughable; as for instance--"The pretty rhinoceros is a very amiable animal. It is very attractive in its habits, and lives near lakes or rivers. Its delicate skin is so soft that special bullets are needed to pierce it, etc."

"ANIMAL, VEGETABLE, OR MINERAL?"

This is a capital game for a large party, for it is both instructive and amusing. One player is selected who has to guess what word or sentence the remainder of the company has chosen. He goes out of the room, and when the subject has been decided upon, returns and asks a question of each of the company in turn. The answer must be either "Yes" or "No,"

and in no case should more words be used, under penalty of paying a forfeit. The first important point to be found out is whether the subject is "Animal," "Vegetable," or "Mineral." Supposing, for instance, the subject chosen is a cat which is sleeping in the room by the fire, the questions and answers might be like the following:--"Is the subject chosen an animal?" "Yes." "Wild animal." "No." "Domestic animal?" "Yes."

"Common?" "Yes." "Are there many to be seen in this town?" "Yes." "Have you seen many this day?" "Yes." "In this house?" "No." "Have you seen many in the road?" "Yes." "Do they draw carts?" "No." "Are they used for working purposes?" "No." "Is the subject a pet?" "Yes." "Have they one in the house?" "Yes." "In this room?" "Yes." "Is it lying in front of the fire at the present time?" "Yes." "Is the subject you all thought of the cat lying in front of the fire in this room?" "Yes." The subject having been guessed, another one is chosen and the game proceeds.

ACTING RHYMES

For this game, half the players go outside the door, whilst those who stay in the room choose a word of one syllable, which should not be too difficult. For instance, suppose the word chosen be "Flat," those who are out of the room are informed that a word has been thought of that rhymes with "Cat," and they then have to act, without speaking, all the words they can think of that rhyme with "Cat." Supposing their first idea be "Bat," they come into the room and play an imaginary game of cricket. This not being correct, they would be hissed for their pains, and they must then hurry outside again. They might next try "Rat," most of them going into the room on their hands and feet, whilst the others might pretend to be frightened. Again they would be hissed. At last the boys go in and fall flat on their faces, while the girls pretend to use flat-irons upon their backs. The loud clapping that follows tells them that they are right at last. They then change places with the audience, who, in turn, become the actors.

THE BIRD-CATCHER

To play this game you must first decide which one of you is to be the Bird-catcher; the other players then each choose the name of a bird, but no one must choose the owl, as it is forbidden. All the players then sit in a circle with their hands on their knees, except the Bird-catcher, who stands in the center, and tells a tale about birds, taking care to specially mention the ones he knows to have been chosen by the company.

As each bird's name is called, the owner must imitate its note as well as he can, but when the owl is named, all hands must be put behind the chairs, and remain there until the next bird's name is mentioned. When the Bird-catcher cries "all the birds" the players must together give their various imitations of birds. Should any player fail to give the cry when his bird is named, or forget to put his hands behind his chair, he has to change places with Bird-catcher.

BUZZ

This is a very old game, but is always a very great favorite. The more the players, the greater the fun. The way to play it is as follows. The players sit in a circle and begin to count in turn, but when the number 7 or any number in which the figure 7 or any multiple of 7 is reached, they say "Buzz," instead of whatever the number may be. As, for instance, supposing the players have counted up to 12, the next player will say "13," the next "Buzz," because 14 is a multiple of 7 (twice 7)--the next player would then say "15," the next "16" and the next would of course say "Buzz" because the figure 7 occurs in the number 17.

If one of the players forgets to say "Buzz" at the proper time, he is out. The game then starts over again with the remaining players, and so it continues until there is but one person remaining. If great care is taken the numbers can be counted up to 70, which, according to the rules before mentioned, would of course be called Buzz. The numbers would then be carried on as Buzz 1, Buzz 2, etc., up to 79, but it is very seldom that this stage is reached.