"Oh, uh"

"The truth, please."

"I sort of bribed your landlord for your apartment number, and then I ran into your neighbor who told me all about you giving her your kitten. Why would you do that?"

"Because I knew first hand, how lonely Ms. Shelby was without her companion. No one should have to live with that kind of loneliness."

"Isnt that what you were willing to do to help her?"

"Yes, I was, because her needs were more important. It took me a very long time to learn that lesson, and even now, have a hard time with it."

"Please, forgive me if what Im about to say is insulting, but it doesnt look to me like you have a whole h.e.l.l of a lot to spare, what about your needs?"

"Youre not hearing what Im saying. I am trying to pay it forward. I am trying to make amends, which means I have to let go of my egotistical, narcissistic, self-absorbed ways."

"You do realize those three words mean the same thing, right?"

I smiled at her and replied, "Yes, but I wanted to make sure I picked a word you might recognize."

"Snap. So tell me, what are you trying to make amends for?"

I marveled at how she had brought it around to my secret again. Shes clever, Ill give her that. And I have to admit, I am thankful for her kindness, but Im still not prepared to let her in, not until I know shes not playing some kind of sick game with my emotions. She bribed my landlord? She is playing games with me!

"Wait just a d.a.m.n minute. You bribed my landlord?" I stroked my fingers over my kitten, shaking my head in disgust.

"How else was I going to find out what apartment you lived in?"

"The fact that you cant see how wrong that was, Melinda, bothers me deeply. Not only was it an invasion of my privacy, but it is just another example of your reputation, and all I know about you is your reputation. And Melinda, Im afraid of your reputation."

"Afraid? Why on earth would you be afraid of little old me? I dont understand. Youre sitting beside me now, and youre not afraid. In fact, youre in charge."

"The only reason you might think that Im in charge is because you want something from me that I wont give you. I dont like that, and I dont like that you bribed my landlord."

We sat in silence until Melinda pulled the car over to the curb in front of my apartment. Before I got out, I said, "But you know what, Melinda, it doesnt matter anyway. Im grateful for the kindness you showed regarding my kitten, but Im dismayed at how you pulled it off. My fathers name is Carl Livingston. Look him up in the Fortune 500, and then maybe youll have your answers, understand why I cant go back to that life again, and why we cant be friends."

Chapter Seven.

Repercussions Melinda aka Blackie Blackstone, Frankie Bonner and Meg b.u.mgartner I laid in bed most of the night thinking about how I had really f.u.c.ked it up with Chris. Any advance that I may have made with her has been stripped away, all because I did what I have always done, I paid someone for a favor. Now I have to start all over again and thats going to be difficult because Chris is really p.i.s.sed at me right now. Id be surprised if she ever spoke to me again. I asked myself if it was worth it, and was surprised at my answer. Yes! What fascinated me most about Chris was her integrity. It could not be impugned, no matter how rich a person was, or how grateful she was to have her kitten back.

So, I will start over, having learned a little more about what Chris expects from me. She told me to look up her father, so thats exactly what I will do, using the resources I already have in place.

"Ms. Blackstone, please, come in."

She showed me into her office full of old paintings and fake leopard skins. She offered me a beverage but I declined it, preferring to keep my mind sharp because according to George, this woman was not very forthcoming with her information.

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, Ms. Bonner."

"Well, you are, in a way, my client, Ms. Blackstone. Although I may still require a release form signed by you, depending on what I can help you with today?"

"Will your wife be joining us?"

Shes the one I really wanted to question because I had a feeling she was connected to Chriss family somehow.

"Yes, when you called earlier, I took the liberty of calling her. She should be here at any moment."

"Very good. And what role does your wife play in Chris Livingstons life?"

"I would prefer she answer your questions regarding Ms. Livingston, and as I said, she will be here at any moment."

"Fair enough." Okay, if I cant go in the side door, I might as well play along. "So, I understand you two were just married. Congratulations."

"Yes, thank you. We got married nine months and fourteen days ago."

"Aha, I see that youre still in the honeymoon stage, thats nice." I do believe the southern belle blushed. Pretty.

"And heres my better half now."

I turned my head to see a woman not unlike myself, strong and confident, walk through a side door. But unlike me, she was a little disheveled and worn a bit thin.

"Ms. Blackstone, this is my wife, Meg b.u.mgartner."

"Its a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Blackstone. Ive heard so much about you."

b.u.mgartner extended her hand, and I gripped it firmly, squeezing it tightly. Im not sure why, perhaps it was the way that I could tell she was lying through her teeth. "Likewise, Im sure." I said, still gripping her hand. When I realize she could take as much as I could give, I released it.

"So, what can we do for you today?" Bonner asked.

"Tell me what the h.e.l.l is going on with Chris Livingston."

"As I told your colleague, and as Im sure you are aware, client confidentiality is our main concern, and"

"Chris told me to look up her father and then I would understand what shes been through. She has as much as given me permission to find out, because apparently it is too painful for her to tell me herself. And ladies, I want to spare her that pain, but I also want to be of help to her if I can."

"Ms. Blackstone, may I be blunt?"

"Yes, Ms. b.u.mgartner, fire away, I can take it."

"Youre full of s.h.i.t."

Wow, the woman sure doesnt mix words. And from the way her wife gasped, Id say that she had reserved them just for me. "And why would that be, Ms. b.u.mgartner?"

"Because, and I quote, 'Do you know who I am, b.i.t.c.h? and 'Ill have your job for this."

I couldnt believe it, I was actually blushing. Me, embarra.s.sed?

"She told you?"

"No, I was there and I saw how you bullied her right out of a job. You must be very proud."

"Okay, now youre just being hurtful." I said snidely, locking my eyes on hers, gritting my teeth like a rabid dog.

"Ladies, please. Lets at least be amicable toward one another." Bonner was obviously the brain in that family.

b.u.mgartner wouldnt let it go, "I think your skin is probably too thick for that, Ms. Blackstone. But regardless, let me a.s.sure you, I will not let you hurt Chris again. She has come too far to be knocked back down by the likes of you."

"And I a.s.sure you, Ms. b.u.mgartner, that I would never do that again. In fact, thats why Im here, to make amends, to make it up to Ms. Livingston, however possible."

"Is that why youre stalking her?"

This is not getting me anywhere. Stonewall Jackson over there has already made up her mind about me, and I dont know how to change it. What can I say that will show her I only want to help? Offer her money? No, that would only prove her point. I was stalling for an answer when I put my hand on my arm, where Chriss touch still lingered.

"Look, I like her, a lot, and I just want to be her friend, with no strings attached."

I was as surprised as they were to hear those words come out of my mouth. Id never said that about anyone before and meant it. But this time I wasnt trying to get someone into bed nor was I trying to soften the blow before dumping someone. No, this time, my heart was speaking for my brain. It was a strange, sweet p.r.i.c.kly kind of feeling, and if it werent for b.u.mgartners mocking eyes, I would have enjoyed experiencing that feeling a bit longer.

"Ms. Blackstone. I know you can have me blackballed. You can have me run out of town on a rail for what Im about to say, but I dont care. Im going to say it anyway. You couldnt possibly be her friend because that requires compa.s.sion, and you dont know what that word means. No, I think youre probably just in heat. And when Blackie Blackstone is on the prowl she thinks the good people of Memphis will pull down their pants and spread eagle for her."

I gave her an angry sneer and she retaliated with a snide remark. Why am I taking this s.h.i.t off of her?

"Oh, Im sorry, I thought you liked talking about yourself in the third person. Listen, you know how to buy, bribe or drink your way into a persons bed, until you get bored with them, and toss them to the side like so much trash. You probably think you will rush in and sweep her off her feet. Take her back to your mansion, where youll ply her with booze, screw her with drugs, and leave her when she gets too predictable. Chris is not one of your floozies that you pick up at a bar. Shes making a difference in peoples lives. Not because she has to. Not because she has millions of dollars to give to a b.u.m on her doorstep. Its because she wants to, that she gives her hard earn money to a drunkard. Its because she has a heart that she gives her only companion, a kitten, to an old lady who has nothing. Its because"

"But I got her kitten back for her. I got the old lady another kitten so Chris could have her pet back." I knew that I was on the defensive, but that sounded weak, even to me. Still, I thought I saw her hard eyes soften... briefly.

"And you think that makes you a hero, dont you?" b.u.mgartner asked sarcastically.

"No, thats not why I did that. I felt bad for her. I just wanted her to be happy, thats all." I didnt have time to properly a.n.a.lyze whether she was right or not, but I really did think it was to make Chris happy... and make me her hero.

"Ms. Blackstone, I will not tell you what happened to Chris that has brought her to this point. Its not my story to tell. But I wonder if you can honestly tell me why you are pursuing a poor girl from the streets?"

I have been honest with you, d.a.m.n it. This woman was being a real hard a.s.s, yet she believed in Chris to the point of risking my wrath. I felt like I had just been stripped naked by her words and my bones left for the buzzards to pick apart. But even though her words have cut deeply, there was no asperity left in me. I have no desire to take retribution on her, although I clearly have cause to. No, in fact, from her words, I gleaned a sliver of hope. I no longer want to be that person she obviously loathes, I want to be something more. So I decided to tell her the truth and hope she understood me.

"Ill admit that at first, I wanted to get back at Chris for telling me off in front of everyone. And yes, I was glad when they fired her. But something kept eating away at me, until I realized, it was because Chris put me in my place that I wanted to know her better. I wanted to understand where her strength to resist me came from. You have to understand, all my life people have cow towed to me because of my wealth. And yes, I admit, I encouraged it, abused it, even confused it for love. But that doesnt work for me anymore. Since I met Chris, Im beginning to feel that I am worth more than what my money can buy, you know? d.a.m.n it, Im not saying this right..."

"You want to be more to people than just a wad of cash." Ms. Bonner offered and I was relieved that someone finally understood me.

"Yes, exactly right. And the only way I know to do that is to understand where Chris gets her strength from that she can so easily refuse me."

"She gets it from within herself and it is not something that can be taught or bought, so I think you should just give up before you embarra.s.s yourself more, and go back to Vegas or LA or wherever the h.e.l.l youre from."

"Ms. b.u.mgartner," I stood to leave, because I knew that I had hit a brick wall while driving two hundred miles an hour, and it was beginning to hurt, "Im sorry if you feel I should be embarra.s.sed, but you are wrong. Im not in the least bit embarra.s.sed. Im humbled, and Im grateful. I will return to Vegas on the next flight and lick my wounds, which Im sure, will make you happy. Thank you for your time."

Frankie showed Blackstone to the door and then turned and looked at me.

"Do you think I was too hard on her, Frankie?"

"Oh my G.o.d, yes, Meg! And I loved it."

My wife has a way of tempering criticism with a compliment. "Well, she had it coming with that bulls.h.i.t about wanting to change."

"Meg, what if she really is trying to change?"

"If she is, she doesnt need to use Chris as her crutch."

"Honey, I know youve become attached to Chris like she was your kid sister or something, but dear, it is not for you to decide who she can be involved with, no matter how detrimental that person may be to her."

"I know. Its just that Chris has come so far, and her trials are almost over. I cant let Blackstone interfere with that, not when Chris is so close to getting it all back again."

"Perhaps I heard more in her words today than you did. Blackstone is reaching out, grasping for something stable to latch onto. Thats why shes so intrigued with Chris, because Chris cant be bought. She stood up for herself, just like you stood up for her today. I see that same strength in you that Blackstone sees in Chris. And honey, its one of the main reasons I fell in love with you."

The sweet smile on my wifes soft lips told me she was being sincere. "Well, maybe I was a little too hard on her, but she had it coming."

"Yes, she did, and she will think twice now, about what shes doing and why shes doing it. But I think you need to relax your grip just a little bit and give Blackstone the benefit of the doubt. If Im wrong, you can thrash her to your hearts content."

"Sweetie, if youre wrong, it will be too late to thrash her."

"Well then, its a good thing that Im never wrong, isnt it?"

Her eyes sparkled when she said that and I knew she was trying to get me to see the bigger picture. But right then, all I could see were those luscious soft lips of hers. It had been so long and I was feeling particularly c.o.c.ky right then. I walked over to the door and locked it, and turned the lights down low. She met me halfway, and I kissed her hard and deep. Before we came up for air, we were on the couch, grabbing each other clothes, and fondling each others b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Blackstone who?

Chapter Eight.

Where Every One Knows Her Name Melinda aka Blackie Blackstone Welcome to Vegas where what happens in Vegas apparently ruins my reputation. After the tongue lashing from that detective, I had tucked tail and ran back to my sanctuary, my condo on the Vegas stripe. I love Vegas as much for its glitz and glam as for its doors always being open policy of always being open on the strip. If I wanted to party at three in the morning, I could always find someone who wanted to party with me. And thats exactly what I did.

I spread the word by sending a group text to my party club that I was back and looking to have some fun. By midnight, I had a condo full of people that I mostly didnt know, getting high anyway they could. At these gatherings people always brought their own drugs, and I provided the music and alcohol. Oh, and a bathroom to throw up in. And I thought this was fun?

"Blackie, want some crack?"

"What?" I looked up to see a pet.i.te girl with really large b.o.o.bs, holding a straw out to me. She was sniffing and snorting as she sucked in the last dregs of white powder that lingered under her nose. At first I mistakenly thought she was offering me something else, and then I realized she meant the drugs. Surprisingly, I wasnt disappointed.

I was never a heavy drug user, well, not after my father took away my allowance and threw me in rehab for the third time. That was over ten years ago, and I learned my lesson. I turned to alcohol instead, which supposedly was less addictive and of course, much easier to get.

I was already on my second Boilermaker when she offered to share her c.o.ke. When I told her no thanks, she grinned and said, "Oh goodie! More for me!" and sniffed up the other row of white powder.

As usually happens at my parties, I was surrounded by beautiful women with roaming hands and it felt good to be appreciated again. It felt like I was in control and could take what I wanted. The problem was that I didnt want any of them. Id had them all before. Then she walked in my door. The blond bombsh.e.l.l who dressed like Madonna and looked like Monroe. I was getting hot just looking at her.