Nadine and everyone else had taken an early train together from Richmond that morning so no one's parents had to drive them here, missing their own Thanksgiving festivities. Mom took Dad's van before the four of us had even woken up to go get our friends, and just after breakfast, as I am putting my cereal bowl into the dishwasher, we hear the van pull into the driveway.

"They're here!" Reilly squeals, jumping up and down a little on the spot.

I can't help but run for the front hallway along with my sisters. I've been waiting forever for this moment. Like I'm getting a piece of my life back, bringing it here with me to Fairview from home. The four of us clamber around a window and watch everyone pile out of the van. One, two, three, four, five. Everyone made it. I'm not sure why I was worried they wouldn't, like someone would just skip coming and not have told us or gotten lost along the way. But they're here.

Mom opens the front door and leads the group inside, but there is only a moment of silence before chaos erupts in a group huddle of hugs and high-pitched voices.

I dodge around my sisters before I can get to Nadine, but as soon as she is within arm's reach I pull her toward me in a ma.s.sive hug. It's a little out of character for both of us, who tend to hold back from big dramatic displays of affection, usually mocking the girls in our cla.s.s who have to hug their friends every time they see them, like it's a ten-year reunion-Reece-but even we get swept up in the moment. She is really here!

I'm dying to ask a million questions even though I can already guess at all the answers. But it's been so long since the two of us could spend any real time together, and we can make the most of this one weekend.

I'm not sure when my parents slip away from our group, but as soon as I calm down, I follow suit and drag Nadine to the living room. I don't want to share her today, but we only get a few hours before all things Thanksgiving commence. Dad isn't letting all the extra company deter him from cooking for his favorite holiday. And as always, he's made it clear that sooner or later we will be expected to help. Especially now that he's being called on to make twice as much food as usual. A ridiculous amount of food if the amount of groceries that is stockpiled in our kitchen is any indicator.

"So, this is where I live now," I say, closing the living-room door behind us and hoping that everyone else takes the hint.

Nadine laughs. "I got the grand tour when you moved in." But she still ends up wondering the edges of the room as though reconciling everything I showed her when we moved in with the reality. More than once, she gives me a strange look and then opens her mouth as though to say something, but changes her mind at the last moment.

It's not long before she has settled in on the couch, and I flop out on an armchair, and the two of us are chatting like nothing has changed. I wish. At least two hours pa.s.s before Dad calls through the dining room, looking for some extra pairs of hands, but I'm already b.u.mmed that our first few hours are over. It's time we won't get back.

We take way too long to pull ourselves back into the real world and make it to the kitchen, entering a realm of vegetables, desserts and fresh bread. The kitchen smells amazing, but it looks like a war zone.

Dad gives me a long look as we slip into the kitchen, probably attempting to point out that we should have volunteered our services a while ago. Reilly and Lily have already set about making up the dining room table while Reece and her friends chop vegetables.

Nadine and I set to work on tidying up behind everyone else, doing our best to keep things organized as my dad directs his troops toward a successful Thanksgiving dinner, if not a hectic one. It will take an extra chair to even seat everyone between both the kitchen table and the dining room, but if nothing else, we're well versed in chaos in the Donovan house.

By the end of dinner, my body is ready for a small coma. I had at least a few bites of everything. And somehow, I ended up eating half of my dinner in the dining room, but lost my chair as soon as I got up to grab more mashed potatoes. I ate my seconds in the kitchen with Reece and her friends, and dessert standing in the doorway between the two rooms. Even Reilly's plate was stacked high with food, despite the fact that she hasn't eaten meat in a year now and had less Thanksgiving options than everyone else.

Eventually, almost everyone settles in to watch football, but those of us who care least about the sport volunteer to take on the dishes to keep busy until we're forced to join everyone else. Not long after, I fall asleep unable to ignore my body any longer, squished on the couch in between Riley and Marybeth. Nadine is already asleep on the floor near my feet.

I wake up as the game is ending, panicked that I've missed some of my time with Nadine. We only have two full days left, and I'm aware of every hour that goes by. It won't be long now before everyone heads upstairs to sleep, and we lose even more time.

I poke Nadine with my foot and find she's already awake. It looks like she's texting her mom to check in, probably not for the first time that night. Mrs. Kyoh is not the type of person who has ever been described as easy going. "Want to go back upstairs?"

She nods, and we excuse ourselves to go upstairs before Rhiannon can claim the s.p.a.ce.

"It looks good in here," Nadine says, thumbing her way through my bookcase.

"I already sent you pictures of pretty much every room in the house," I point out.

"Looks better in person." She picks up a small superhero figurine displayed on my shelf and puts the back down a moment later. "I'm glad I got to come see you." I am about to say I'm happy she got to come to, but she barrels on. "So much has changed since you guys moved. And we talk all the time, but it seemed like you and I were losing touch. We've both seen people move away before, and in the end people always stop talking. It's just easier to be friends with the people close by."

I frown, but don't respond. What am I supposed to say to that? Yes, it's been hard. But I put in a real effort to make sure I was telling Nadine about everything that was going on in Fairview, while also making sure to ask her what was new in Richmond. And it didn't sound like anything was ever new. So what else had changed?

"Anyway, you're here now. I didn't think I get to see you again this soon after moving. And you'll get to meet some people I've met at school tomorrow." I quickly change the subject, not wanting to dwell on whatever it is she thinks is going on here. All things considered, we're doing fine. It's always been at the back of my mind, that idea that when people move away they always lose touch. But it's easier now than ever to talk to people who don't live near you. Some of my closest friends are people I only talk to on the Internet, so why shouldn't I be able to stay close with Nadine?

"Out." Rhiannon marches into the room, glaring at me.

"We were here first. You can stay, but I'm not leaving," I answer, hoping she'll choose not to stay at all.

"Marybeth and I are sleeping up here and I want to go to bed. So you guys need to leave."

"We're all sleeping upstairs in the attic," I point out, getting defensive.

"Not me. They're all going to stay up late talking, and I will end up getting frustrated and leaving after an hour or two anyway. So, we are sleeping here. In beds. Including your bed," she adds, as if that point wasn't obvious.

"Whatever." Part of me wants to argue, but I'll only make things awkward. And if this is how Rhiannon is going to be tonight, I don't want her included in the upstairs sleepover anyway. She always has make things so difficult. But if nothing else tomorrow morning everyone but Rhiannon will sleep in late, so this will be the first time since we moved in that my sister waking up early isn't going to be my problem.

As usual, Marybeth has nothing to add and goes along with whatever Rhiannon says. It's been that way since they were kids. There was a while there where we all just referred to Marybeth as Rhiannon's shadow. It must be nice for her to have her sidekick back.

Eventually, everyone but Rhiannon and Marybeth end up in the attic. We only have one couch, so everyone has agreed to sleep on blankets and sleeping bags on the floor. We are all kind of bunched together in small groups, but everyone is close enough to chat with whoever.

My eyes are struggling to stay open as I hope that Reece's friends will stop talking and go to sleep sometime soon. But I must drop off eventually because I awake to Nadine poking me from her own sleeping bag.

"I can't sleep," she says in a whisper.

I want to point out that I was already asleep, so it's clearly possible, but I doubt that's what she wants to hear. "Okay..."

Nadine shifts around as though making a point. "I didn't realize we'd be sleeping on the floor."

"Okay." Is still all I can think to say. She knew we were having five extra people sleep over. Where did she think we would sleep? Marybeth is probably still fast asleep in my bed, so it's not like that's an option. "You can sleep on the couch. Everyone else is already asleep." That's a.s.suming we haven't woken them up with the stupid conversation. "They won't mind."

"Can't we sleep in Reece and Reilly's room? There are two perfectly good beds in there."

I'm tempted to groan but keep my mouth shut. She came all this way to see me, and I don't want to p.i.s.s her off. But if she knew where she wanted sleep, why didn't she point this out hours ago? There is still such a big part of me that just wants to tell her to be quiet and go back to sleep. Still, it's the least I can do to try to make her comfortable. It's only two nights.

Trying to get my eyes to readjust to sitting in the dark, I rub them and sit up. Neither of us bothers gathering up our sleeping bags before we make our way back downstairs as silently as possible.

Within seconds of getting to the bedroom, I crawl in to Reece's bed and pull her blanket up over my chin. This is way more comfortable than the floor of the attic. I look over at Nadine and find her still sitting up on the edge of Reilly's bed. All I want to do is sleep, but she's looking around and there's no denying she has something on her mind.

Today was perfect. Why can't whatever this is be something that can wait until morning?

I'm about to give in and ask what's on her mind, but Nadine finally lays down. I figure this is my chance to get back to sleep, but it's less than ten seconds before she starts talking.

"Your life here seems great," she says, no longer bothering to whisper. "I love this house. And the town doesn't seem to be as bad as we thought it was."

"It's okay," I concede. "But you know I'd rather be back home with you and everyone, right?"

"Yeah," she says but there's a note of disappointment in her voice. Suddenly, I'm wide awake. There's more going on here than I realized, but I still have no clue what she's trying to say. Was this the reason Nadine didn't want to sleep in the attic? It had nothing to do with how uncomfortable the floor was and everything to do with wanting a chance to talk to me where we couldn't be overheard.

I'm trying to figure out what she could have done that she feels so uncomfortable telling me about, when she speaks again. "Elise and I both miss you a lot. Everything from going to cla.s.ses, to hanging out after school is so different because you're not there. But other stuff has been changing to."

Part of me wants to say something just to get her to stop talking and hold off whatever is coming. But I can't figure out what to say so I keep quiet and hope I'm overreacting. Because there is now an unspoken we need to talk hanging in the air.

"Laney is my best friend now. Or, we are best friends now, I guess." Wait, what? "It's just that I needed to have someone around once you weren't there anymore and she's being really cool. You know how it is."

I really don't. I can barely figure out what it was she just told me.

Nadine has a new best friend now.

After all these years... I'm not Nadine's best friend anymore.

I moved away, and she found someone new. The pit in my stomach grows to the size of a black hole. I don't know what to think or do. But Nadine seems to be waiting for me to say something and the silence is becoming suffocating.

I don't want her to see how much she hurt me. Is hurting me. Because it's now all too clear she doesn't care all that much about my feelings. I've been replaced in a matter of months by some girl Nadine had only met two weeks before I moved. Laney had been the new girl in the neighborhood. One of many. But for some reason even before I'd gone away, Nadine made a point of hanging out with her. Like she was trying to replace me before I left. I saw it happening then, and I tried not to think about it since.

Was this inevitable? Or could I have changed things if I'd just seen this coming?

I'm not Nadine's best friend. She found someone she likes better.

What I want to do is tell Nadine that it feels like I've just been dumped. But that's what I would say to my best friend-someone who I could rely on to have my back when it feels like the world is against me. Instead, I try and hide how much this hurts. "I guess we knew this would happen," I say. I consider telling her I had a new best friend too. But as much as I need to bury the sting of this, I also don't want her to be able to justify away what she's doing right now. Because I don't have someone new. Nothing even close. I met new people, but I've always thought of her as my best friend.

Is she still my best friend if I'm not hers? It's not like there's anyone else I'd list instead.

I try so hard to keep my tears at bay. At this point, crying is only going to make things uncomfortable. Or maybe that's exactly what I should do. Maybe if she sees how upset I am she'll change her mind. But I know as soon as the thought crosses my mind that it's a bad idea. It's an impossible idea.

We both wait almost indefinitely for the other person to say something else. No one speaks. Eventually Nadine turns over in bed, pointing herself away from me. She's making it clear that there's nothing I can say that will change this.

Nadine has a new best friend I wipe my damp cheeks on Reese's pillow and try to sleep. Instead, I spend at least an hour replaying the conversation we just had and trying to figure out what the h.e.l.l happened.

Chapter 16.

I couldn't have gotten much sleep last night, but I don't wake up for good until Reece shows up and storms around the bedroom as she gets dressed.

"Sorry," I groan. "We took over your room." Right. We ended up leaving the attic for a little one-on-one time. I got hard-core friend dumped last night. Okay, not dumped in the literal sense. But broken up with. We are no longer best friends.

I didn't realize how much being Nadine's best friend had been part of my ident.i.ty. I'd seen my sisters go through several best friends for as long as I can remember. They'd announce new ones, rank their friends from best to worst, and meet new people faster than I could eat lunch. But my best friend had always been Nadine. And she'd come all this way to tell me that everything had changed.

G.o.d, had she only come out here because she didn't want to dump me through a text? Why was it necessary to even tell me this at all? Okay, I would have been p.i.s.sed if she hadn't told me, if I found out some other way too. This would have crushed me no matter how it played out.

Nadine is still asleep, or at least pretending to be. She has always been a ridiculously deep sleeper because her mom is constantly banging around the house doing renovations. But I can't be sure whether she can hear everything going on around her right now. I signal to Reece to be quiet before disappearing through the bathroom to my own room. Unsurprisingly, Rhiannon and Marybeth are already up and gone. Which begs the question of what time it is. And where is my phone?

Mornings are really not my thing.

I give up on accomplishing anything more than changing in to jeans and a shirt and make my way downstairs. Some years, my dad would put together a big post-Thanksgiving breakfast. This time it looks like he's simply stacked a variety of cereal in the middle of the table, put out nine bowls and has gone back to bed. It's kind of sweet he thought to do anything at all.

We all owe both our parents so many thank you's once this weekend is over.

Reilly and Lily are still sitting at the table eating breakfast and a couple of the bowls are already in the sink. I fill up the one closest to me with Rice Krispies, eat as fast as I can and took off, not saying more than a few words to anybody. I don't want to deal with anyone right now. But there's still nowhere I can go to get a little privacy. Going on a walk might've been an option if it wasn't already around freezing outside.

I plant myself in front of the TV and turn on some cartoons, hoping everyone will get the message that I'm not awake yet and not willing to deal with people.

I only move when Nadine comes downstairs to eat. And okay, it was kind of lame of me not to wait for her or woken her up, knowing she wouldn't be comfortable coming downstairs on her own. But instead of heading to the kitchen to keep Nadine company-I still don't know what to say to her-I move around the house at a frantic pace, cleaning up anything left behind from last night's dinner. Because, as much as everyone wants to take the morning to finish digesting, we are still having people over tonight and it'll be the first chance anyone here has to see the house.

Too weird.

Any other day I'd be annoyed that absolutely no one moved to help me, but we hadn't made that much of a mess last night. The less people working to tidy up, the longer it would take me. The longer I could avoid talking to Nadine.

So much for hiding how much she hurt me. But it's not like she has tried to talk to me yet either. She probably thinks I'm avoiding her. Which I am. But I still need more time to process.

The hours pa.s.s and I eventually crack, talking to Nadine, but only when there are other people in the room. I don't want to be petty, and I can tell I'm making things weird for everyone, but I'm also not ready to talk about what happened.

This wasn't how this weekend was supposed to go.

T-minus-three hours left until everyone else should arrive, and my parents force us into a board game day. It's something we did almost weekly in Richmond, but haven't gotten back into since moving to Fairview. The joy of kicking Rhiannon's b.u.t.t at Ticket to Ride is almost enough to take my mind off everything else.

When Nadine and I end up at the same table to play Scrabble, we somehow manage to talk like nothing has changed. And I guess, for her, nothing has. She's known about this for a while now. How long has she been thinking of ways to let me in on the news?

I'm basically an idiot. But, I force the thought away. If I dwell on this enough, I'll start crying again. And I need her to think I'm okay. It doesn't need to be true, but she needs to think it is anyway.

For a second, I search the seven letters in front of me to find some pa.s.sive-aggressive way to get my frustration out. But the best word I can come up with is fork, and that hardly seems appropriate. Though, if I play it right, it may get me at least a few points.

"Nadine, I can't wait for you to meet Rosie. I think you guys will get along." I keep my voice light, and Nadine watches me like I've gone completely insane. But my dad and Reilly both nod long, looking excited and having no idea what's going on between my ex-best friend and I.

And now I'm imagining how I will tell my sisters that Nadine has declared me not good enough to be her best friend.

Nope, nope, nope. This is not what we're doing today. I only managed to get one of my new friends to come over tonight, and that's what I need to focus on. Because my friends in Fairview are the people I need to learn to count on.

I chatter on about my new friends here for a bit longer, before realizing Nadine can probably see right through all of this. When it comes down to it, she still knows me better than anyone I'm not related to. She'll get exactly what I'm doing, and that I can't stop obsessing about all of this in my head.

But it's not my job to make this okay for her! Frustration keeps. .h.i.tting me in fresh waves, and all I want to do is rant to her, to anyone. To get all of this off my chest!

Couldn't she at least wait until her last night here before dumping this on me? She had to know how crazy this would make me. Otherwise, she wouldn't have felt the need to tell me anything at all.

It's only when the doorbell rings that I finally force myself to push all of this aside, at least for now.

A bunch of people I don't recognize arrive first. I a.s.sume they're friends with Reece, but a moment later the black girl I'd seen talking to Reilly that day after the volleyball game, follows in behind everyone else, talking with Jen.

Wait, Jen's here?

I rush towards the door, eager to greet my first guest, even if it's one I wasn't expecting. I never heard anything from Jen or Frank after they'd first told me they weren't sure whether or not they'd be able to come tonight. I a.s.sumed that was their way of politely blowing me off. But here she is.

"Hey, you're here?" Okay, not the way most people would welcome friends to their house.

"There is literally nothing going on in my house, so my mom couldn't come up with a good reason to keep me there. And besides, the holiday was yesterday. Today everyone was just sitting around and digesting, or listening to my aunt's Black Friday horror stories."