Caleb had his arms wrapped around Cole's neck and was happily chattering into his ear. He didn't look at all scared, and Jessica suddenly yearned to be in the water with both of them.

She went to fetch the soap instead. As she was searching through the valise, she heard a loud splash, promptly followed by the baby's squeal of delight. Nothing seemed to frighten Caleb, which meant that he was feeling secure, she hoped.

"So far so good, " she whispered. Caleb hadn't been harmed by her lack of skills as a mother. Each day she learned a little bit more, and hopefully, by the time he was five or six, she'd be comfortable in the role she'd taken on. She would always worry, she supposed, but then didn't all mothers? She wanted to do the right thing for her son so that he would grow up with fond memories and a strong sense of self-worth. Unlike the other men in her life, Caleb would have values.

"Jessie, bring the soap." She jumped at the sound of Cole's voice.

Grabbing the misshapen clump of rose-scented soap she'd made, she hurried to the edge of the bank.

"Should I throw it? " {Sure, " he called back.

She aimed but missed by a good ten feet. Cole was able to retrieve the soap before it sank to the bottom. "You throw like a girl, " he shouted.

"I am a girl, " she called back as she kicked off her shoes and sat down on the grassy slope.

She also took her stockings off, but that was as far as she would go while Cole was in the lake. It wouldn't have been proper for her to do what she wanted to do. Mothers couldn't be wanton. And so she watched him scrub her son from top to bottom and then play with him, wishing all the while she were part of the antics.

Her heart fell to the bottom of her stomach when Cole casually tossed Caleb into the air and let him go under the water. Before she could shout a warning, Cole had scooped him up, waited until he'd stopped sputtering, and then tossed him in the air again.

Caleb was having the time of his life and hopefully getting all worn out. Jessica sat on the bank with her toes in the cool water until it was almost completely dark. The temperature was rapidly dropping. She fetched a towel for Caleb and waited until Cole swam over to give her son to her.

The baby's lower lip was trembling from the cold, but he still put up a fight when she lifted him out of the water. He wanted to go back in.

Jessica carried him back to the fire and quickly got him ready for bed.

She'd already spread a blanket out and placed his baby doll in the center, and as soon as she put him down, he grabbed the toy, put his thumb in his mouth, and closed his eyes.

"I'll watch him if you want to get in the water, Jessie, " Cole said from behind.

"Thank you, " she whispered.

There was laughter in his voice when he told her she could look at him.

"I'm dressed." Barely, she thought to herself. He was wearing only a pair of snug-fitting buckskin pants. His hair was slicked back from his brow, and droplets of water glistened on his arms and chest.

A bath did sound wonderful. She waited until Caleb had drifted off to sleep, then gathered clean clothes, soap, and a towel. She walked a good distance away from the campsite so that Cole wouldn't see her, draped her garments on a fat, leafy bush, and slowly removed her clothes. Every muscle in her neck and shoulders ached, and she was suddenly so tired, she could barely concentrate on what she was doing.

The water felt luxurious against her bare skin. She sighed deeply as she cautiously moved further into the lake, feeling her way with her toes to make certain the rocky bottom wasn't going to disappear.

It was sheer heaven. She didn't even mind the cold, but by the time she had scrubbed herself and washed her hair, her fingertips were as wrinkled as prunes.

It would have been nice to slip into her nightgown, but that would have been inappropriate with Cole there, of course, and so she put on a clean chemise and a dark gray dress that was at least two sizes too big for her. Like most of her other clothes, the gown was a hand-me-down.

Jessica hadn't had time to take it in because she was always too tired in the evening after spending her days chasing after Caleb. As she slipped the dress over her head, she vowed once again to become more organized and headed back to camp.

Caleb was sound asleep with his back squeezed up against Cole's side.

She thought Cole was also asleep. He was resting on his back and using one of the saddles for his pillow.

She sat across the campfire from him. Kicking her shoes off and tucking her feet under her, she proceeded to brush the tangles out of her hair.

She loved this time of night, wheneverything was so peaceful and she had a few minutes to herself. She knew she should go to sleep, for tomorrow promised to be as exhausting as today, but she was enjoying the solitude too much to do the practical thing. The heat from the fire warmed her face. She tilted her head to the side so that her hair was draped down past her shoulder and leaned close to the flames.

"You're going to catch on fire, " Cole said.

She jerked back. "I thought you were asleep, " she whispered so that Caleb wouldn't be disturbed.

"You don't have to whisper. Your son's out cold. Nothing's going to disturb him."

"He's put in a long day, " she said, a smile in her voice.

A few minutes passed in silence, and then he spoke again. "You're a good mother, Jessica." She put her brush down. "No, I'm not, but I'm trying, " she said. "I had never been around babies when I was growing up, and I know I've made mistakes with Caleb. I'm more relaxed with him now, and hopefully I haven't done anything that's going to permanently damage him. I've spoiled him, though, but I don't care.

Babies should be spoiled."

"The boy needs a father, " he said. "Are you going to find him one? "

Her answer was quick and forceful. "No, I'm not. Caleb had a father.

He deserted him, remember? " "Like your father deserted you? " She didn't answer the question. "I'm never going to get married. It would be too much of a complication."

"Do you have any idea how difficult it's going to be raising Caleib on your own? " "We'll get along." Cole stared into the fire for a long while, thinking about Jessica's circumstances. She was too young to hold such opinions about men and marriage. "Not all men leave. "

"Most do."

"No, most do not, " he argued. "You've got guts, I'll give you that, but you have to be practical. You're a fine-looking woman, and men are going to want you." You were made for loving, he thought, but didn't add. He didn't want to give her the false impression that he was interested. Granted, he was interested in making love to her and knew it would be a night he would never forget, but he wasn't interested in marriage.

"What makes you think I need help raising Caleb? " she asked.

He ignored her question. "I like the color of your hair." The compliment startled her. "You do? Most men don't like brown hair. "

"Where did you get that crazy notion? When a man first notices a woman, he isn't looking at her hair anyway."

"Then what's he looking at? " Cole smiled. "The whole package. We take in every curve from the neck down." She blushed and had to keep herself from laughing.

"You shouldn't be talking like this."

"Like what? I simply answered your question. Your hair isn't brown, by the way. It's cinnamon." She didn't like being the focus of his attention. It was wrong of him to try to fill her head with sugared remarks that weren't true. She wasn't a fine-looking woman, as he'd declared. She was a plain, sensible one.

"Why haven't you married? " she asked.

"I never wanted to, " he replied. "Besides, in my line of work, marriage is out of the question."

"But why haven't you wanted to? " she prodded.

"I don't like the idea of being tied down. I don't want any strings.

" She nodded agreement. "I understand. I don't want any either. "

"You're too young to be set in your ways."

"Are you trying to tell me I'm cynical? I am, you know."